₦airaland Forum

For ages domestic violence has been in the forefront of discussions for many communities worldwide. It affects women, men, children and even animal pets in the environment. In the world over, women are mostly the victims of domestic violence, followed by children then men. In some communities, such violence is acceptable and is seen as the norm. So there is nothing like reporting such violence to a credible family member or to an authority. There are various cases where the matter is so grave that the mental, financial, psychological and physical state of the spouse will become an issue. In some severe cases, it becomes a matter of life and death.

I know of a lady who was married to the man she loved. Everything was fine till it was time to start having children which, under Nigerian setting if not an African thing, as soon as a couple is wedded babies are expected the next day. Of course, preferred sex for the first child would be a boy.
Anyway, this lady took in and gave birth to a girl, such an adorable cutie. Her husband ‘pardoned’ her for this mistake and life continued. The dreadful beating started after she gave birth to her second child who of course, turned out to be a girl. The husband did not even come to visit her and their baby at the hospital when she was born. After she was discharged from the hospital, she and her mother paid off the hospital bills and made their way home. His behaviour toward her changed so abruptly that she began to wonder who the man she had married had become.

They had visited the best gynaecologists and made wide and extensive consultations on how to conceive and give birth to a baby boy. But as God would have it, girls had always been born. Presently, the couple has four daughters. The woman and her husband live like total strangers. He pounces on her at the slightest provocation and beats the living daylights out of her.
Unfortunately, her condition is such that she is a house wife so there is no tangible source of income. Her meagre savings is nothing to go by so she cannot possibly leave her children behind to escape the nightmare she finds herself in.

Therefore the million naira question is this, why was she not able to conceive and give birth to at least one male child? The simple answer to that question is that neither she nor her husband is God. In fact, science would have us believe that it is the..... the.... what do you doctors call it? yes!the chromosomes. It is these chromosomes in the man that will determine the sex of any baby. The woman is merely a carrier. Therefore in all fairness, these type of men need to attend ante natal classes unfailingly with their wives so that they will learn one or two things about pregnancy .
There are many instances of women who go through the above ordeal. Some others find themselves in various damning situations and with time, those of them with frail characters become suicidal.

But this does not in any way suggest that it is only women who suffer domestic violence, there are men who are equally being treated badly by the women they call wives. Cases abound where men have received brutal beatings from their wives, some have been locked up and starved of food. Some of the situations include name calling, holding a man's shirt collars in a choking manner, teaching their children to insult and call the man's names to his face, other cases too numerous to mention abound. If the man reacts in a bid to free himself, the woman cries foul and the world labels the man and men in general as monsters.

The problem with cases of abused men is that much is not heard of the abuses they face from their spouses because they are not voiced out. Perhaps the reason is that men are expected to be strong and always put up a bold front. They are expected to just walk away when a woman is being abusive. He is not expected to complain because he will be laughed at and labelled a spineless man.
Men in abusive marriages should be encouraged to speak out and let their tales of woe be known so that they can also receive the same help and support that women in abusive marriages receive.
Men cry too and it is ok for them to cry.

All in all, whoever is being abused should be encouraged to speak out and talk to someone. Not just anyone but a trustworthy person. It relieves depression and can bring about a much needed support.
Going public with the issue will encourage people in similar situations to also speak out.
The public mentality against speaking out, especially when the violence concerns a man, should be discouraged. Relevant authorities should re orient the public mind set and be made to understand that a man is also a human being. The man should not be ridiculed because he came forward with his issues. Campaigns about violence against the man should also be a welcome development just as it is with women undergoing domestic abuse.

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"When you buy 50 litres petrol at N200 per liter and your grandmother pours it away to fetch rainwater"

Saw this on social media, lol.

And some of this fuel was supposed to go into the car that he would have driven to his favourite shops for Black Friday shopping.
Grandma, he has been planning for this shopping since January 1.
Now see what you have caused.
Grandmaaaaaaaa.

..

@ Harmony92, go ahead and try it, hahaha, you'll be glad you did.
@candycrushsoda, I used the powder milk but you can also use the liquid ones.

But Nigerians are a funny gullible bunch. How can someone make all these promises and you don't bother to enquire how he intends to achieve the utopian promises.

I've seen intending couples who are so in love with each other that they can't imagine life without the other. So in love that they are blind towards the other person's faults. So in love that
they don't care what people say and would literally fight anyone who tries to come between them including family members. So in love that they just can't wait to get married and spend the rest of their lives together. Yep, that is what most of them feel right till they get married. Soon after the marriage, it seems as if the scales have fallen out from their eyes and they begin to wonder what attracted them to their spouses in the first place. Suddenly, it's all too obvious that marriage is not the same thing as dating or courting. It is not a bed of roses at all. And then, some begin to wonder, how in heaven's name, they would wake up each blessed day seeing the same face for life, lol, quite funny.
The first few years of marriage are the crucial deciding factor of whether a couple can cope with life with each other or not. Be it in the long term or short.

Because most couples want to make their marriage work. 3 factors have to be put into consideration.
First, the two must individually and collectively make a conscious decision that their marriage MUST work. If it does not involve the 2 of them then, it simply wont work. One can't be trying to make the marriage work while the other is showing no interest and is busy pouring sand sand into the other's garri. Very soon, frustration and resentment will creep in.
One has to do what pleases the other, this may sometimes be uncomfortable but because of love, it has to be done. Neither of them will do what displeases the other simply because it will cause a misunderstanding. When they adopt this life pattern, they gradually start behaving alike and it becomes their lifestyle. Madam would do what Oga would do given the same situation and Oga would not do what Madam would not do given the same situation too.

Secondly, patience is key. Patience is a virtue and if a spouse is naturally not a patient person then he or she has to learn to be a patient person. If the 2 have decided on the above first factor then, they just have to be patient to see the fruits of their labour. For how long are they to wait? Hahaha, they have to wait for a life time....... A very long time, I must say.
I want to liken marriage to cooking food. After adding all the spices, you wait for it to get done and then eat. But in marriage, you keep adding the spices and the food never gets done. Once you give up on the cooking and waiting, that's when you give up on your marriage and the food automatically gets burnt.

Finally, take everything to God in prayer. We can never under estimate God's power in our lives. In relating to Him, you find that no matter what challenges a couple passes through, they always emerge winners. The summary of James 2: 14-26 is that faith and works go hand in hand. You can't pray about anything and not actually do anything to make it become reality, same way, you can't do anything and not ask God to show you His favour. Its alias is God bless my hustle.
A family that prays together stays together.

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So today, I figured I'd share pancake recipe. It is a snack that can be enjoyed by everyone, young and old. A bite will have you begging for more. Yeah yeah, I know it's filled with some fattening stuff we don't want but hey! one relapse is not so bad, is it? Even if it is, we can always hit the gym work out and simply burn off some of those fat, yeah? *Grinning mischievously*
Moving on, I wanna start with the plain pancakes then share other varieties in subsequent posts.

So lets get down to it.
Baking flour.......4 cups
Sugar.................1 cup
Salt..................1 level tablespoon
Eggs.................2
Milk.................2 tablespoons
Nutmeg............like a pinch or two
Water
Vegetable oil or any cooking oil of your choice
Fine meshed sieve
Frying pan

OK! First sieve the flour to remove any unwanted substances in it. Measure in the sugar, salt, milk and eggs then add water. Mix them together to achieve a consistent paste. The paste should not be too thick or too watery. It should have the consistency of paint, you know, paint used for buildings. Be sure that there are no tiny tiny dry flour balls in it. To get rid of the balls take time so what I do is that once I achieve the desired consistency, I pour the paste into the sieve and all the tiny tiny dry balls dissolve. Voila! Then I add the nutmeg.

If you want to sieve the paste like I do, do not add the nutmeg before you do so. This is because some of the nutmeg particles are going to get caught in the sieve thereby costing you some of the nutmeg flavour so add it after you are done with sieving.
Pancakes are not fried with so much oil otherwise, it will get soggy and nobody wants to eat a soggy pancake. So pour in very little oil into the frying pan and move it round to cover the base of the pan. Measure in some of the batter with a cooking spoon or a cup and move it round the pan so that it spreads out. Fry in medium heat for about 45 seconds and flip it over and fry till it turns golden brown in colour. However, you may want to leave it to darken a bit more if you like then remove it from the fire.

Pancakes can be served with honey, hotdogs, pap, tea, juice, peanut butter, fruits or whatever catches your fancy.
So there you have it, try it and testify!

Visit my blogs for my candid thoughts at www.amaxonowu..com
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Focus on your exams and make sure you pass it. Then make money and make more money. Na then e go dey call you beta pikin.

Demmocrats:
Immediately I enrol my kids in school I will donate cane specially for my kids and monthly fee to enable the teacher buy good cane.

I love the dress.

I have always said that today's Christianity needs a total face lift, a total turn around because what some church leaders display as Christianity leaves much to be desired.

If you attend this church, you will be blessed with ferraris or at least, get a once-in-a-lifetime ride in a ferrari. LOL.
Chai Chineke Nna a hushigo anya.

The flour is an option. You can also use corn starch or potatoes, or whatever you want to use as a thickener.

Thanks

I wanna share a recipe so today I chose this delicious one. This is just one of the sauces that you can enjoy with rice. It is easy to prepare and doesn't take much time in its preparation. So I
hope you have fun trying it out.

Ingredients:

For a serving of four-
3 cups of rice
1kg of beef or chicken or goat meat
Dried fish (yep, my own addition)
Half a cup of baking flour
3 big green peppers
4 big red peppers(tatashe) the not-so-peppery ones
1 big onion
A handful of green peas
1 small cabbage
6 large carrots
4 stock cubes
Nutmeg
Curry and Thyme
Ginger and garlic
Salt

Let's fire away!

Parboil the rice and wash it. Add some water and a little salt and set it back on fire to complete its cooking.
Cut the meat into little pieces and place in a pot. Add 2 stock cubes, some nutmeg, curry and thyme, your ground ginger, garlic and salt. Do not add water because meat already contains water which will be drawn out by the heat from the fire. Apart from that, the meat will be much tastier if you just let it cook without adding water in the first instance. But you have to constantly watch the pot so that the meat doesn't get burnt.
So when it starts boiling, add some water to it and leave to continue boiling. Be careful not to add too much water though. Wash the dried fish with hot water and salt then add into the boiling pot. The fish brings along its own flavour. Trust me.
Chop the carrots into big pieces, do same to the peppers, the cabbage and the onions. Don't mix them together after cutting because they will go into the boiling pot at different times. Timing is very important in cooking.
Next, measure out the flour and mix it into a smooth paste with water which shouldn't be watery. Pour the paste into the boiling pot and stir as you pour so that it doesn't get clumpy. Within a few minutes, you should notice that the stock begins to thicken. Leave it to cook for about 4 minutes then add the carrots and green peas only. Let it simmer for about 2 minutes then add the cabbage and onions. In another 2 minutes add the peppers and the 2 remaining stock cubes. Sprinkle in some curry, thyme and a pinch of nutmeg. Finally, add some salt to taste.
Cover the pot and leave to simmer for a minute or two then serve with rice.
Try it out and testify.

I meant to put up this post over a week ago but time and chance were not favourable towards me.
My son's birthday was on the 2nd of October, so we all went to this Shoprite close to us to pick up a couple of things for a little in-house birthday for him.
When we got there and parked the car, hubby and the kids started towards the mall while I went to unstrap the baby from her seat. As I was unstrapping her, a movement caught my attention. Beside a car parked alongside ours stood a man. He looked like all these Chadian/Nigerien men, average height, light skinned and wore weather beaten clothes and had a face cap on. He obviously was out of place there in the sense that he didn't look like a shopper or a pleasure seeker. He was odd just being there. He was fumbling with something under his shirt. Still bent, I stopped what I was doing and just kept peering at him. He was looking around as if to see if someone was looking at him. He pulled out whatever it was he was fumbling with from under his shirt and hurriedly stuffed it into a nylon bag he was carrying.

At that point, our eyes met and he quickly looked away. I felt shivers down my spine and I hurriedly carried my baby and ran to catch up with my family. I told hubby what I had just seen and we decided to report to the security men at the entrance of the mall.
I narrated what I had just seen to them and asked them to go check out the man and see if he was someone with mischievous intentions or a potential suicide bomber.

Ngwanu, security men go and investigate my complaint, they kept delaying and didn't want to move. We then demanded that they go check out the man and finally, the female security summoned the courage and walked up to the man while the male security stood with us. And they say women are the weaker vessel, SMH. Anyway, she asked him questions, didn't check that his nylon bag and asked him to move along. The suspicious guy turned towards us and said, " Don't worry, I am waiting for someone. Everything is fine, there is no problem". Whish kain waiting for someone? After he said that, he walked away. The male security man then asked us to go ahead and enter the mall.
Please, wherever we are we have to be security conscious especially anywhere that people are gathered. And if something seems out of place, report to the nearest security agent. With the spate of suicide bombing activities these days, one has got to be extra security conscious.
To the security agents, if someone reports, investigate the matter. The ones I reported to didn't want to move. If you dey fear for your life, why did you sign up for the job, lol? What are you then securing?

After graduating from the university, a lot of our youths are jobless. They spend months on end looking for jobs that are not even available. After spending all their resources going to school, there's nothing to show for it when they graduate. Instead, they carry all their certificates in one brown envelope and enter one company to the other. They enter and get the almighty, "Sorry, no vacancy". You may not even get past the security guard and even if you do, the look from the receptionist alone is enough to make you ask yourself whether the smell of your perfume upset her. Others have taken numerous aptitude tests and interviews, all to no avail. Ok, the uncles and aunties with I.M connections nko? no show. All in all, if shoes could talk, they would literally beg their owners to please retire them from active service because the waka wey they don waka no be small sometin, lol.


Nevertheless, there is always an opportunity, starting from your immediate environment. All you have to do is keep still and be observant. Keep still and put your ears to the ground and you will definitely see or hear of something to do. Even if there is an existing problem, you can solve the problem and turn it into a money-making venture.
I'll give an instance. You notice that in that your street, there is no place to buy akara. Hahaha yes! akara. People have to go 2 or 3 neighbourhoods away to buy the one that mama Nkechi fries and its not as if her's is that fantastic but there's no other option. You can solve that problem for your neighbourhood. Here's how. Learn how to make akara and set up your own stand. Make it comfortable for your customers, you can play music for them sef. Then, make sure your akara is diligently made to bring out the best taste. To even bring more customers to you, you can go the extra mile by adding colourant to your akara. That makes yours stand out from every other one in the whole place.
"Please, go to that guy or lady that sells those coloured tasty akara and buy me some". That is how you will be referred to. Even mama Nkechi's customers will come to buy from you. One day, the President will hear of you and will ask for you to come to the Presidential villa with that your akara. No be unto the next level be this one? Na so nah.

But the problem is that our youths have too much pride to engage in certain jobs. When they look at their certificates, they pass up on humble but lucrative businesses or jobs. Others are just too lazy to get any job done so they sit and wait for the job to take a cab and come meet them. Entrepreneurial skills should be taught in schools so that youths can actively engage themselves in something, whether there's a white collar job or not.
Darrizit my people o.
Patience and hard work pays. Never despise the days of humble beginnings.

For more interesting write ups, visit my new blog www.amaxonowu..com and feel free to drop your comments.

The drama between Nigeria's number 3 citizen that is the Senate President in the person of Dr. Bukola Saraki and the Code of Conduct Tribunal is about to unfold. He had at first refused to appear before the tribunal saying that the charges were frivolous, lacked merit, this one and that one, etc.

Next, he went to the Federal High Court or was it the Court of Appeal to stop the matter from being heard but the Court said it would not grant such an injunction and that he should simply go and answer the charges levelled against him.

Then he went on to claim that the quorum of 3 judges that were supposed to sit in Court were not formed. Therefore, the 2 judges present and sitting had no jurisdiction in the matter. In short, other excuses exist.

In the midst of all these, 2 bench warrants of arrest have been issued twice against him. Now the D-day has come and the trial is on course.

Dr. Saraki could have avoided all these drama right from the onset. He should have gone to the Tribunal to answer the charges against him if he has no hidden skeleton in his cupboard. But in meandering about in this manner actually makes him come off as an offender is trying to evade the long arm of the law for the alleged offence he committed in 2003. It is not called the long arm of the law for nothing.

Well, let us sit back and watch as the two legal warriors for and against Dr. Saraki, slug it out.


#SarakiIsFinallyInCourt

Lately, there has been much talk for negotiations with and, an amnesty programme for boko haram terrorists in the northern part of Nigeria. President Muhammadu Buhari is already negotiating with them and there may also amnesty for them.

To what end would the amnesty be? First of all,the boko haram ideology does not believe in western education and everything that comes with it and as such, they seek to impose absolute Sharia law in all the Northern states of Nigeria, which with time, will surely extend to every nook and cranny of Nigeria.
Secondly, they believe that the western colonization of Nigeria has tampered with the way the practice of Islam should be therefore, the Prophet Mohammedan mode of practice of Islam should be enforced.
In line with the above, they launched out massive violence and killings first, against Christians living in the North. Later, they extended their scope of destruction to include fellow muslims who criticized their modus operandi.

I do not believe that there should be negotiations with any terrorist group or militants. There shouldn't even be any form of amnesty for such people. Reasons being that negotiations will make such groups bold in their demands to the Federal Government and the Federal Government will be left with no option but to meet them half way. Secondly, negotiations will give room for any other agitating groups to also foment trouble and force the government to listen to them if they make an obvious enough impression. After all, there already are precedents for negotiating with their likes. Thirdly, an amnesty programme is for those who are ready to abandon their staunch beliefs and be ready to be absolved back into the civil society. Are the boko boys ready to do that?
When amnesty has been granted them, what becomes of the thousands of innocent lives that has been lost to these murderers? What becomes of their rape victims? Shouldn't there be any form of justice meted out to them? Shouldn't these boys be made to face the law. Should they be pardoned just like that and be told to just go and sin no more?
Perhaps, all these issues will be swept under the carpet and everyone will say, "it has happened, it has happened. Let us move on with our lives".
I sincerely hope not.

Check out my blog www.amakaonowu..com

A man is handsome if he is good looking.
Whether you think you're handsome or not, it's all about your confidence in the matter.

A man is handsome if he can pay his bills and take care of biznezz. Only your fine face will not put food on your table o, hunger will just wipe you wella.

A man is handsome if he's got it upstairs. As in when you speak, people around will know that this one's head dey there.

A man is handsome if he has a good woman by his side. She completes the man's full package. Yeah, I just love seeing couples. But if she'll run you down and out of town, guy just arrange yourself well because some women eh.......

And to put the icing on the cake, a man is handsome if he's got God. There's nothing more important than that. Men that are in tune with their God go places. Actually, it's kinda cute to see such men.

This our Nigeria sef. Who issued licences to such universities in the first place?

Was on my way from work when i saw this sight. I just had to step on my brakes, which caused a little hold-up behind me, to take a picture of this three-wheeler, lol.

It warms the heart when selfless efforts like these are made towards the well being of a 'neighbour' in need. May all your efforts be crowned with success and speedy recovery to DJDollar.

Eheh nah, she's just checking if you, her latest freeby, is worthy to fly out with her to the great beyond

The magic that would restore their relationship is for the woman to
1) humble herself towards her husband
2) avoid situations that can lead to a quarrel, even if he tries to start one.
3) desist from insulting the man whenever they are having an argument. If she can do this, no matter how hard it may seem, she will see a turn around in her husband's behaviour.

I don't condone the man hitting her but he must have been pushed to that point because of the what she was saying. So in order to shut her up, he hit her.

Of course, prayers cannot be left out of the restoration process.
To make or mar a marriage is all in a woman's power.

InvertedHammer
Like seriously?

Your abunna dey itch and na for NL you wan find answer instead of going to a doctor? Goodluck with that. Patience is not needed in this one.

The only assistance i can give is to help u scratch am. I heard some women refuse to see their doctors for awhile because the scratching dey sweet. [b]As in oko babangida a.k.a oko achorom ima a.k.a oko achara moto.

Go see your doctor

LOL, u no well.

@ OP, it could be a yeast infection. And if that is the case, you have to change your diet. If you take foodstuffs that contain yeast and sugar, then you have to stop especially white bread and pastries. Otherwise the infection will keep coming back after treatment.

Also a home remedy is to get one or two pieces of fresh garlic make little cuts on them then pass a thread through them and insert into your womanliness. Put them in at night and remove them in the morning. Do this for like 3days and you should be fine. The thread is for easy retrieval of the garlic. Hope this helps

the hair is not doing her justice

true, my password is not the one I use for my actual email

I received the said text yesterday evening but my question is why would a giant corporation abbreviate their words like young youths do? Instead of writing 'your' its 'ur'. I checked the 1st message they sent to my mail to see if they abbreviated their grammer anywhere but they used perfect English there. And they sent this to my phone number instead of my mail, not that there's a problem with it though. But it got me wondering if its real or not.
I had success with the 1st submission so should I resubmit or not?