₦airaland Forum

Over you, Ingrid Michaelson

ModelX:
This is not a seduction.
It's called soliciting.

That's correct.

But aren't these prostitutes? Isn't that what prostitutes do? (look for clients, negotiate fee, have sex, get paid). Why is this news worthy? Haven't people seen prostitutes before? They say it's the oldest profession, which means that men were paying for sex even before they learned how to make money.

MrBrownJay1:
sadly, i am safe to say that if a woman willfully cheat on the man she has decided to marry (for whatever reason under the moon), then she will continue finding excuses to cheat well after she is married... simply because she has tasted the forbidden fruit. the minute there is issue in this union, gbam she will be back seeking ex for "relief", and god forbid if the husband cant perform as well as ex in the bedroom.

wrong is wrong, no matter how you want to justify it.

It would have been great if you had read the comment you quoted to the end, and then actually understood it. It wasn't a justification, it was an explanation. There's actually a difference. An explanation doesn't try to make something seem right, it tries to get something understood. The OP did say he wanted to delve into the psychology of the subject in focus without judgement.

You've generalized . I'd like to say "some" (maybe it's implied) but I'll take your cue now, let it apply to the people you are referring to:

Women and men see the marriage deal a little differently. A woman reckons that she would never have sex with another man ever again after she speaks her vows (forsaking all others). As the wedding day draws near, the urge to "get it all out of the system" grows more intense. It's not cold-feet (she's got no doubt that the groom is right for her) but it's definitely part of what's been called "pre-wedding jitters". Think of the illicit sex with an ex before the wedding like "The last supper" if you want to understand the psychology of it. Men, on the other hand, have no intention to ever cut ties with their exes even after marriage; they, therefore, do not feel the same "finality" that marriage presents.

It's no doubt that cheating is despicable whether you have a wedding band around your finger or not; but, people still try to rationalize their acts believing that fidelity is owed to their partner in a marriage. Not so much before that.

He won't be offended if you tell him that you're not gay. Just tell him that.

God, please.......let it be that simple.

I don't know why people were blowing a fuse over that comment. Everyone who gets proposed to likes to think of themselves as Rapunzel in a tower getting "rescued" by her knight in shinning armor. It is a romantic notion. They also like to think that they're turning a frog into a prince. So, rescue missions abound; it doesn't matter how old you are, or if you're a man or woman.

Guys on social media are working tirelessly to lower a woman's self-esteem. Well done;but, you're going to need powerhorse for the extra shifts you need to pick up.

A woman in her thirties has likely got self-esteem (and maybe money, and a direction); it is the girls in their twenties that are the real target here: before they let themselves become 'evening newspapers', some of them may have the desperation to consider some of you. A woman in her thirties has probably learnt to rely on feature stories to sell the paper. They are fresh in the evening and the day after. They won't be appreciated by everyone as it takes a person with specific interests to be swayed by a feature story, but it'll increase the chances of real compatibility.

Frottage is a sick perversion. Unfortunately, even judging by the responses on this thread, we have too many sexual deviants out on the loose. They think people cannot distinguish between contact resulting from overcrowding and the deliberateness of dry-humping and groping. Don't ever think it is your shame to bear when you're accosted by such a sick person. Speak up and address the issue straight away. Let it be known that this isn't normal. These people should go and seek the psychiatric help they need.

Happy Birthday, Bush; many more great years ahead.

.......If you want to live a life without facing any problems, don't expect that problems won't be facing you. Turning your back on them won't make them go away. There are problems of all shapes and sizes. A problem, basically, is a matter or situation regarded as unwelcome or harmful and needing to be dealt with and overcome.

Therefore, something as little as finding yourself urgently needing to take a shit in an inconvenient location is a problem. So is having a flat tyre on a journey; not being able to pay the rent when due; having a phone suddenly stop working; being faced with exam questions to solve; then there are those grave ones where you'll need to phone Houston.

Some problems are easier to resolve than others. It's all a function of your ability and preparedness. But even if a problem's size is mitigated by your capability, it is still a problem which needs to be overcome.

fighal:
I thought same too. what do u have to say on she breaking the relationship??

It's obvious she's upset right now. You've done well to delete the original post though. Have a serious conversation about your future with her and let her make her decision. All the best.

First possibility: If she came to you to tell you this, she probably is using this poorly-thought-out tactic to get you to "do something". She loves you, but maybe you haven't given her the impression that you're thinking about the next step. So, now she's hoping that if she tells you that someone is willing to give her that, you would double your hustle on her. If she had sought advice on the issue, someone might have advised her against it.

Second possibility: She is indeed planning to withdraw (regardless of what you might say) but she doesn't want to just run off with this other man (which would paint her in a very insensitive light) so, she's playing out the preamble. Women are allowed to be "confused" in these situations when considering "love + possibility of marriage" versus "comfort + marriage proposal". They'd receive a lot of pressure from family and friends to choose the latter while their hearts keep dragging them to the left. It's state you cannot criticize too much.

If you love this girl, then ask her what she wants. Put her on the spot by asking her if she thought she could be happy with this guy. Tell her what she can realistically expect from you. But if you don't really care about her that much, and it's all the same too you, then you might just consider this the perfect place to end things.

NaughtyDiamond:
I guess you're correct

Actually, no. It's an ambiguous statement.

Next2Bezee:
Well said, I'm sorry.

I think lesbians are hot, that's about it.

Have a great Sunday.

Have a great Sunday too, my dear.

Next2Bezee:
.

I stand corrected on the use of caps after semicolon, but I still raised a point on how you use the semicolon incorrectly.

PS: Calm down, no one is here to fight you.

That's okay. What was it that gave you the impression that I was "un-calm" or that I assumed you were here to fight me? The picture or the fact that I asked you to be careful about saying the wrong thing? Don't be so sensitive, my dear. All I have is words. If it were possible, I would make my point to you with a gentle breeze to prove my tranquility.


Do you have any thoughts on the topic? Or do your ambitions not run that high?

Next2Bezee:
A capital letter always comes after a semicolon.

These independent clauses would look better as individual sentences.

But don't expect a worthy debate is not an independent clause as it has no subject. Its wrong to use a semicolon, to pair it with an independent clause.

What kind of miseducation are you propagating? Watch it; some people here are gullible enough to walk away with it.

Wow. This is an absolutely amazing piece on the issue. My emotions are in overdrive right now; it's always encouraging to find such brilliance amongst Nigerians. There might be hope for us yet . Thank you for sharing this, Op. But, don't expect a worthy debate; you might have outclassed NL with this one.

donstan18:
#Bring-Back-Your-Comment

I'm back and good . .......Missed your comment ......Do have a nice day ahead

Yaay! He's back! .......

Thanks, dear. Have an awesome day too.

IamD18:
Donstan18 my Nigga will be coming back tomorrow, he's upset and annoyed that you left without letting him know your way about


Yeah, where have you been? i'm good and fine, missed you

How you?

Banned? .........at least my timing is good; please, bring him back unscathed . I've been around (and good); just not commenting as much.

I'm glad you're good. Missed you too, hun

IamD18:
Is that MissWrite viewing?

Lol...Evil twin, ...........where's my boo Donstan18? What have you done with him?


Been a while.......hope you're good.