MissWrite's Posts
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majekdom2:Don't be so quick to jump on a comment just because you perceive ill intent. Take another minute to confirm what you think you understood. Women who can afford to take care of themselves, can afford to have standards with men. A growing number of women fall into this category these days. They would rather stay single than be with someone who gives them no value. There was a time when women were so financially dependent on men that all of a man's vices would fade into the background when compared with his ability to provide a living. I can't say that this doesn't happen anymore, but it is definitely becoming less frequent. Now that women have more freedom to evaluate what they want from a relationship, it has become clear that while men in general are still common as water, men of quality are few and far between. The words in green: There used to be a time when the most important benefit to a woman from relationships (marriages in particular) was financial security. In those days, women did not have the luxury to pursue anything else (like love) and they even had to overlook certain vices (like infidelity, for instance) The words in blue: Now that an increasing number of women can provide for themselves, they are no longer confined to needing financial security, and they can decide what qualities in a man would give their life value. The words in purple: the freedom to evaluate what they want from a relationship. Does this not mean that they aren't limited to wanting money? After this evaluation, some women will decide they want good companionship, or someone responsible to raise kids with, or whatever else there is to want from the plethora of things men have to offer. But all these requirements shrink the pool of eligible men. Because not all men can give a certain woman good companionship. And not very many would be considered responsible father-types by a specific woman. For the women in focus, if they cannot find what they are looking for, they would stay single. It is not a matter of life or death if you are looking to meet desires. If it comes, hurray; if it does not, life goes on. Quality is the degree to which something meets requirement. So, when I say that men of quality are few and far between (as a result of women affording standards), it is precisely because these women aren't looking at finances (exclusively) anymore, and they are begging men to have more to offer than their check-books. But if they don't, why should she bother? to prove to you that she can value a man? That should not be a woman's burden. The thing is some women have this mentality a man is just there to meet their need just like you have put upthere, thus when they can meet their needs without the support of who they call partners, the wisdom and sense to keep a partner is gone. The reason they are single. They can’t love or see a man beyond his financial abilities at that time. The reason why we work as a team in organizations is to achieve higher grounds, meet goals faster. This is same for relationships. What can you say of a lady whose fiancee suggested they open a joint account, save together towards a goal and the response the guy got was “ you are looking for someone to sponsor you abi”. We need to have the right mindset, this is where is starts from. |
OfficialSam:Lol... . Yeah, you can say that too. |
Daeylar:I'm good, babe. The answer to your question would be: the former. I'm just not that kind of person; I'm too selfish for relationships and living with people drives me crazy. |
Daeylar:Hey, baby girl! Long time; and how've you been? Ask away; I'll decide whether to answer you publicly, privately, or not at all. Depending on which bag of secrets you want me to spill... ![]() |
OfficialSam:Ha.... ; my own case is strong. I'm not a wife o! You need to keep looking.All the best in your search, hun; God will see your heart.... |
MISEDUCATIONS:This is it below. A civil response to an appeal, without repercussions; Sesame Street did not get boycotted or come to ruin over this. It did not even stir enough dust to make it into the list of Sesame Street controversies. The gay community did not pressure Sesame Street to include gay characters, Bert and Ernie were always a part of the show. Because of the public perception that these characters were homosexuals, the gay community asked Sesame Street to corroborate that perception with a wedding between the two. Because 2011 is a long way from 1993 where LGBTQ rights and representation in the media are concerned; and they felt that Sesame Street might be ready to give Ernie and Bert that narrative. But Sesame Street had already stated in 1993, that these were just good friends. A wedding would indicate that 'good friends' like Ernie and Bert are simply closeted gays. Sesame Street did not spurn the gay community for the request, this response below (emphasizing that Ernie and Bert aren't even human, and are devoid of any sexual orientation) suggests that they do not wish to get sucked into taking sides with homosexuals and heterosexuals.
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Yes, I think child-bearing should be regulated in Nigeria. There are just too many children left destitute on the streets these days; and increase in crime is often a consequence of that. People should be prohibited from irresponsible procreation. However, the government must do its own bit before it can even conceive of such a decree. The reasons many Unenlightened Nigerians have so many children are: one, children are their pension plan. The more children they have, the greater the chances of at least one being successful enough to take care of them in their old age; two, skewed-religiosity, resistance to family planning, and ignorance (or may be they are one and the same). Some people believe that the womb is an orifice opened by God whenever he wishes to visit an unsuspecting family with children, and that they should not have any influence over the issue. They dance to Genesis 1:28 and fail to heed 1 Timothy 5:8; three, hypocritical abortion laws. I will not expatiate on this controversial subject; plus, a lot of people wear children like an emblem or a testament of their virility/fertility. If they don't have them, they fear that their 'enemies' would have a good laugh believing that their case was safe with the devil. So, in order to shut them up, they ensure people can see how dearly they are loved by God by having as many children as possible. I think this comes down to values. Thankfully, things are already beginning to change with education. Young parents are approaching the issue more intelligently these days. They think about the financial commitment (in school fees especially) because they accept their responsibility. Gone (or going) are the days when it was the norm to send your children away to be raised by well-off distant relatives or even absolute strangers. We are gradually departing from the extended-family style of living and adopting the nuclear model. Whatever the responsible factor for this is, is a different matter. But, enlightened young parents are cutting their coat according to their size where child-bearing is concerned. While we evidently need to provide proper education, we desperately need a better scheme for providing some form of economic security to reduce the pressure to procreate, before we can expect people to curtail their child-bearing. Right now, it's a catch22, because you have the growing population complicating the effort to provide a more secure environment, and a population that needs to procreate to increase its chances of providing security in old age because of dire economic conditions. Something has to give. |
MISEDUCATIONS:You're kidding me, right? You mean Sesame Street was urged to include gay characters and it was resisted? When did this happen? And why isn't it listed as at least one of the dozen controversies in several articles specifically about 'Sesame Street controversies'? Or was it that gays wanted inclusion of gays and heterosexuals shut it down while Sesame Street was only an innocent bystander waiting for the skirmish to end? First: Was Sesame Street ever boycotted or did it ever come to ruin (at any point in time) over the refusal to reflect gay characters? No. Now: it was, in fact, heterosexuals who demanded the exclusion of two very fundamental characters of the show - Ernie and Bert, who were publicly perceived as a gay couple because they lived together and were really close like that. The homophobic public ran campaigns in 1993 for those characters to be banned from the show for their homosexuality (these are two characters that have been a part of the show since the pilot episode in 1969) , and the producers had no choice but to publicly state that Ernie and Bert were just good friends. So, who really is the bully here? |
Women who can afford to take care of themselves, can afford to have standards with men. A growing number of women fall into this category these days. They would rather stay single than be with someone who gives them no value. There was a time when women were so financially dependent on men that all of a man's vices would fade into the background when compared with his ability to provide a living. I can't say that this doesn't happen anymore, but it is definitely becoming less frequent. Now that women have more freedom to evaluate what they want from a relationship, it has become clear that while men in general are still common as water, men of quality are few and far between. |
WORDWORLD:Thanks for sharing; that was a good read. And I agree wholeheartedly: propaganda is a very potent tool in shaping culture. Truth be told, you cannot escape propaganda. It starts with what you're being told as a child by your parents at home. Religion and the multimedia are agents of propaganda that influence us soon afterwards. It is sociocultural conditioning. It stands to reason then that our current culture is a product of propaganda as well(as used in the text: information). And our current culture is heteronormative because these were the stories that were propagated and popularized for ages. They are the stories that have shaped our thinking and expectations. If heteronormativity is a product of propaganda (as every homogenous culture must be a product of external conditioning) how does it then have such irrefutable merit? And why must we now stop the propaganda from allowing diversity when it is that same propaganda that excluded these naturally occurring tendencies in the first place? There are two variables to be considered here: biology and sociology; interior and exterior. The interior is the construct of the individual, and the exterior is the social construct. The individual would find fulfilment in expressing their biology (interior) but social conditioning may put them at variance with that if their preferences are prohibited. Imagine creating an artificial environment where, via propaganda, homosexuality were touted as the only acceptable form of being. A heterosexual person would ultimately feel caged because the exterior cannot change the interior. Social conditioning cannot change biology. It can only force a person to suppress their biology at the expense of their happiness. Since you already started with the Architecture metaphors, there is a popular phrase that comes to mind right now: Form follows function; instead of function follows form. Designing spaces from inside out allows a building spread out organically. Naturally. Truthfully. Working from the outside in, is a sculptural approach that is concerned with political correctness and keeping up appearances at the expense of functional fluidity; often creating awkward spaces that greatly compromise use. By that, I mean that biology must be considered when we chose to apply propaganda to condition our environment. What Disney want to do is to be more inclusive, so that everyone feels accepted. They are not imposing the gay culture on heterosexuals because they would still cater to a heterosexual audience by telling their numerous sappy love stories featuring princes and a princesses (or some modern derivative). They already deviated from the predominantly white characters to include Arabian and Chinese characters (in Jasmine from Aladdin and Mulan) and they are also contemplating featuring an African princess after the success of Marvel's Black Panther. Does that mean that white people should suddenly feel threatened by some crazy notion that black people want to impose their culture on the world? I think that's just silly. It's all in the interest of diversity and finding new niches that can rake in substantial profits. If anyone seems to be imposing on the other, it is heterosexuals who expect gays to conform to their lifestyle and not the other way round. Gay people only want to be allowed to be themselves. They don't want stories to preclude heterosexuality, they only want stories to stop excluding gays. Why does this matter? Stories give us something to look up to. They make us hopeful. And everyone deserves to see a world of possibilities. It is expected that there would be more gay people once there is more acceptance in society. But that is only because they would feel safe to come out of hiding. |
WORDWORLD:Thank you for the many words. I need to sit down for this. |
MISEDUCATIONS: ....We all have a lot to learn. You did not give me that list of stories rejected for lack of LGBTQ content. I liked Moonlight a lot. It made me very emotional; and I cannot fault the fact that it won three oscars. But I think it's very disingenuous of you to find the fact that the LGBTQ story won 3 oscars when La La Land won 6 that year. I would say it was La La land that swept up the awards last year and not Moonlight. Why did La La Land sweep up the awards? Is there a potential conspiracy theory here? |
MISEDUCATIONS:Are they really? Are they threatened with boycotts and ruin? This is brand new information to me. Tell me, what story was rejected and asked to be re-written because it did not have LGBTQ material? I must report this issue to management at once! ......I was under the impression that people voluntarily added this content to reach a wider audience and to tell a more complete story of human diversity. Which Is why there's usually only one gay character for every lot of heterosexuals. Unless it's a specifically LGBTQ story. I had no idea they were under some compulsion. Travesty! Submit the names to me; I know what to do with them. |
dingbang:So there you go! Why wouldn't she want to? And would it be fair for someone to deliberately compromise her reason for keeping the condom on? IF is a hypothetical. Imagine a Babalawo told her to have unprotected sex with a particular client for riches. Or imagine she were HIV+ and on a payback mission. Stretch your imagination...people do all kinds of crazy things for crazy reasons. Then there are also some people who pose an even higher risk than prostitutes for the simple fact that they indiscriminately engage in unprotected sex. The point is, there are high-risk situations. And if a person has had the forethought to protect themselves with a condom, it would be a violation to deliberately expose them to risks they weren't prepared to take. |
Well, yeah. Stealthing is a violation and it is illegal in some countries. I don't understand why some people can't see how this act amounts to assault. If a man sleeps with a prostitute, he's likely to use a rubber to mitigate an otherwise perceivably high-risk encounter. How would he feel if she managed to take off the condom during intercourse, thereby exposing him to risks he was not prepared to take, and took reasonable steps to avoid? ![]() |
MISEDUCATIONS:But they aren't forcing their tastes on you. Disney can decide whether the 2% is worth catering to. If their venture becomes a box office flop, they'll realize that the story is redundant. But if it becomes a hit, hurray. It means that the 98% doesn't think it can squash a minority just because they have the numbers to do it. Live and let live. But Africans need not worry so much; homosexual gestures of endearment on Dstv are typically censored (I think). Other cable tv companies can follow suit. If someone goes out of their way to look for gay content, trust that they need it. They want to know that they aren't alone. And it's not television that made them the way they are. That's not to say that I do not agree with the fact that tv influences culture. I made the exact point in my earlier post. |
MISEDUCATIONS: ........no sex on tv is for minors. In any case, there will be no explicit sex scenes. Just like there are no explicit sex scenes with the heterosexual couples that have been featured all the while. It never goes beyond the kiss. Disney have influenced us with their stories for ages. They're the reason most girls want Prince Charming and that fairy tale wedding. They're the reason some black girls imagine themselves blonde and blue-eyed. They're also the reason some children who do not fit into these featured categories begin to feel like outsiders from a very young age. Disney are aware of the power they have; and how easily they influence culture by inclusive or exclusive story telling. And only recently have they come alive to the responsibility to reflect diversity. Personally, I think that this is commendable. Like someone already pointed out, the decision to tune in is still yours. If your religion or sensibilities don't accept the content, then move on to the next one. There are people who do not eat pork; you don't see them attacking retailers for selling it. |
mannatech:Thank you. ![]() It's so easy to overlook what Venus has done because Serena has completely dominated two decades in the world of tennis. But from all active players, Venus still has the second largest collection of grand slams, behind her sister's 23 and before MaSha's 5. She's played her sister 16 times in grand slam finals! It's just so unfortunate for Venus, Saharapova and Azarenka that they came out in the Serena era. Through all of this, Venus has stayed graceful; celebrating her sister's wins even when they've come at her expense. They are both champions. I wish Serena all the best; I hope snags this one. But.............there's still ways to go. |
Tozara: ...awwww.... I am really glad you liked it. It's still a work in progress. Thanks for all the encouragement..... |
Tozara:Lol. You're right about that. Yeah, I've been good. |
Smooth278:That is exactly right. , thanks for reading it with an open mind. |
Look around you. Pessima. If you cannot find people like yourself, they are probably in Hell. The courage that you lack is to go there. Nobody was meant to be alone. You weren't. Someone is waiting for you too. Down in the valley of the shadow of death; where hot coals line the streets to blister your feet; where it rains fire and the wind is a breath of fury. Stop walking about aimlessly and yield; go to where somebody says your name with a smile, and with a tickle in their hollow chest, "welcome home"; even if it is the devil's voice you hear. We all want love - the wildly wicked, wickedly wild and the wretched saint. It is easy too. To go there. You must only want it badly enough. You must want it madly enough. The taste of poison. The taste of your own blood. Every demon knows its taste. As well as they know their own name. Do not run from it; because you are one of us. Where am I? My soul has traveled beyond the horizon, but my body is still here; in a room with no light. Not from the tired lamp. Not from the snubbish sun. Not from the distant God. Who am I? My body or my soul? There is the devil's cocktail in my hand; and I have only a decision to make: set a broken soul free to find succor in destruction, like a crazed falcon in the molten sun, or to hold on to it. Even if it doesn't recognize me anymore. Who am I? One of them. A demon. I was born with a madness. A madness that was mine. My madness. A madness that was me: demon. Mama knew when I was six; but more than my affliction, it was her shame. Her mad child. Not a mad child. She was important and I was not. She kept me in a box, away from those eyes; and she painted me in colors that people could understand. "Do not isolate yourself. Play with your friends." But my secrets were a wall for ever. As tall as mountains. The greasy colors dried in the sun and peeled off like a crust of semen. They fell away. And mama is gone now. But, so is her box of colors. All that is left behind is me and my unbelonging. I did not learn to paint my face. So, I sink steadily in quicksand. Nothing binds me to the walls of grime, to rise or sink in unison. I watch the world rise past my shoulders- higher and higher, up and up - until the great divide slips by and I see it all again, but upside down this time. I am upside down this time. There are no ugly roots hiding below; holding everything down; the world itself is fickle. I do not belong here. I belong in a garden of withered flowers. Tulips. Tall and disgraced. A signpost of shame. I hear him call my name....... And his voice is sweeter than honey. That fake sugar sweet saccharin seduction. But sweet is sweet, I reckon; and it is sweet indeed. If I can hear a lie six times, the seventh time it will be the truth. It would taste just the same. It would taste just as sweet. But first the bitter taste of poison. First the ferric taste of blood. |
nijabazaar: ..........Thank you. |
AvatarMode:Thanks, AB. |
JasonScoolari: ........Thank you. You're so kind. |
Smooth278:Thank you very much. |
4 “Hi” Kioba was tentative as she measured Ibe’s reaction. He thought that she looked astonishingly beautiful. But then she always did. She had always been a beautiful girl; and now she was a beautiful woman. He thought that the maturity suited her. But he allowed himself only a moment to be beguiled by the apparition in front of him, “What are you doing here? How did you even find me?” “I spoke to my site supervisor – Mike? He gave me your address.” Ibe nodded. Not so much out of an understanding, as out of a resolve to caution Mike about giving out sensitive information. He watched Kioba stare at him intently – at his eyes – and he sensed that she avoided looking at his bare chest. He enjoyed her discomfort. “Gideon, I’m sorry about how aloof I was that time at the site……” Ibe broke into a derisive chuckle. “It’s funny how that is the thing you are sorry about. It’s funny how that is the thing that would make you get up and leave your house, so early in the morning, to come looking for me. After………….everything…….that you and I have been through, I think it’s safe to say that I have given you a free pass to walk all over me.” He added, “And you were not the one who was aloof; I didn’t feel like getting friendly either.” He saw the wince she tried to hide. “I was just thinking that we could……..maybe talk?” “What is there to talk about?” “Can I come in?” “I have company.” There was hurt in her eyes that filled him with pleasure “Can I come back?” In spite of everything, he still wanted her to. Maybe he needed explanations. Maybe he just wanted to understand what had gone wrong in that last year. Or maybe he just wanted to smell her perfume. Kioba was a disease he would never be cured of, he realized it. He sensed that the integrity of a carefully constructed wall, built over a period of five years, was threatening to give way like butter. And she hadn’t even done anything yet. Sidi emerged through the door way, “Morning!” Kioba did not respond as she took in everything – the dishevelled hair and clothing, the glitter, and the youth. “I’m going home to sleep.” She said as she kissed Ibe on the cheek. “Talk later.” Ibe smiled at the automatic way Sidi had slipped into the role, “Stay out of trouble.” “It’s too late for that now.” Kioba gave Sidi room to walk by her and waited until she was out of earshot. “Should I come back?” she asked again. Ibe waved her on, as he retreated into his room. She followed him into the dinky space. He watched her avoid the air in the room – the dust, the smell, everything. She tried to be surreptitious in her snobbery, but it was plain to see. He missed the times, when she would hop onto his bed with no care in the world. But she was Mrs. Okri now. “She’s beautiful.” Kioba remarked. “Yes, she is.” Ibe agreed – knowing that she had been referring to Sidi. “And young.” “She is twenty-two.” “Young.” She confirmed. Ibe shrugged indifferently. “Do you want to get to the point? I would ask you to sit but we both know you wouldn’t want to soil your pants.” She ignored his snide comment. “How can you still live like this?” He stared at her, and it hurt him that she would still be condescending, even after he had boldly rubbed her face in his dismal conditions in a bid to pre-empt exactly this kind of reaction. It angered him that she could still hurt him. “I didn’t marry a millionaire. So, poverty is sometimes a consequence of that.” He said, “But I should have guessed you came to make me feel inferior to you.” “Gideon, I came to offer my help.” “Your help?” he laughed. “I spoke with someone regarding a job for you –” “Why?” “What?” “Why now?” “I……I don’t know. What does it matter? You still need a job don’t you?” “As a matter of fact, I don’t. I’m done with that.” She stared at him curiously. “Gid……. I know you have pride…..and I have always admired you for it, but please let me help you.” “You know, I thought you actually might………maybe just……..want to explain to me why you abandoned me five years ago. And for none other than Timothy – my friend Timothy – the guy you never even liked. You wanted me to cut him out of my life, remember? Was this just to spite me?” There was that inscrutable look in her eyes again. “And instead of coming here with explanations and apologies, you try to get rid of your guilty feelings by getting me a job? No, thank you.” “Gideon –” “Kioba, no! It won’t be that easy.” She let his anger subside before she spoke. “I have guilt,” she admitted calmly, “but I didn’t come here for absolution. I don’t deserve it, so I don’t want it. I’m a big girl and I can handle my guilty feelings, don’t worry about me.” There was a hint of sarcasm in her tone, “But seeing you on the site on Monday………it made me……sad.” Ibe laughed, “On top of everything else, you insult me with you pity.” Kioba regarded Ibe thoughtfully. Then she tossed a set of keys over to him and he caught it out of a reflex. He looked at her questioningly. “That is a three-bedroom flat at GRA. The lease is in your name. I set up the job interview for next week Tuesday by nine.” She scribbled on a note, folded it in half and let it fall to the mattress. Then she turned to leave. Ibe was distraught. “Save all of your energy, woman!” She met his eyes. His were filled rage; hers – with surprise. He had never before addressed her with such disrespectful anonymity. “Kioba, this is………..” he couldn’t find the words to fill the blanks with. “Look at me! Is this really what I get? Is this what I deserve from you after all those years? Do you even remember who it is that you are looking at? Do you remember me? Do you remember………..us? us!” Her unfathomable stare was unwavering. “Please don’t be late for the interview.” She let herself out of his room and closed the door after her. Ibe let his rage fly. He hauled the keys at the shut door, and he imagined the jagged edges tearing at the cool, seemingly impenetrable skin of Kioba’s face. Did that woman still bleed? |
Ibe reached for his mobile phone, which vibrated persistently on the floor, at the edge of the mattress. He took it to his ear immediately, refusing to look at the screen with the bright backlight, when his eyes hadn’t had the chance to adjust themselves to the disruption of blackness. “Hello?” He mumbled groggily, “Who is this?” “Ibe, it’s Sidi.” her anxious voice crackled through, defying the poor connection. “I’m at the –” he could not make out the rest of it. He sat up to get some elevation. “Sidi, where are you?” “I am at the police station. Please can you come on get me?” She sounded scared, “I have something tucked in my pillow on the bed. There’s a zipper, which you’ll find when you pull it out of the case.” “Alright.” He jumped to his feet and reached for his trousers, “Give me ten minutes. Is it the station here?” “Yes.” “Okay, I am on my way.” It was past three in the morning when Ibe sprinted through the deserted streets. Taxis happened by on the rare occasion, at this time of the night; and there was no point waiting for one. He had promised Sidi to be there in ten minutes. It was risky being out late in this neighbourhood; but then again, so was living in it. “I’m here to get my friend out on bail.” He told the officer at the front desk. When he eventually saw Sidi, she looked like she had suffered a stringent ordeal. He saw the relief in her eyes as she walked towards him and put her arms around his neck. He stroked her on the back, “Let’s go.” “Oga na your woman be that?” the officer asked. “Yes.” “How you leave am make only she waka for midnight? How pesin go take know say she no be ashawo?” “How pesin go take know wetin? Wetin be ashawo?” Ibe let his temper fly. “Na which kind question you dey ask me?” he demanded, visibly affronted. “I say, wetin be ashawo? You carry pesin wey dey walk je-je for road, say na ashawo. Wetin be ashawo?” “Woman wey dey outside by 2.00am, wetin she come be? My friend, if you no take your time, I go put your for cell.” “Carry me put for cell.” Ibe dared him thoughtlessly. Sidi tugged at Ibe’s arm. She felt the tension in the flexed muscles. “Please, let’s just go.” “Abeg, make una two comot for here. See as your woman dress, you dey ask me wetin be ashawo. You go pay bride price on top that one head? No be to chop am clean mouth you dey do? Ye-ye boy!” Ibe knew that it was pointless to speak to his ignorance. He was used to it. Putting a label on somebody and punishing them for it without checking to see how the label fit. They did it every day, and got away with it. Nobody even raised a brow over it. They killed innocent boys in the street and claimed, afterwards, that they were ‘well-known’ armed robbers. They harassed girls and claimed that they were prostitutes. And most of the time, these victims of abuse of power had simply allowed an attempt at extortion get out of hand. It was what made them so dangerous; they could kill anyone easily, and simply stick a nasty name on a lifeless body. Nobody asked any questions, or demanded some logical explanation. They did not care that it was ridiculous to arrest a woman, who had been minding her business, for solicitation. Where was the act? Who was accosted? Ibe tightened his grip on Sidi’s hand and left the officer with a long dirty stare. They walked out of the station and into the night. It was already four o’clock by the time they got into the compound. Ibe unlocked his door, threw it open and stepped back, suggestively. Sidi took the hint and walked past him into the room. She took off her jewellery and got into his bed. Ibe held her to his chest and they lay there in silence. “You have to stop this.” Ibe said eventually. “Why?” she didn’t ask what. She knew what he was referring to. “Because it’s dangerous, that’s why. Are you seriously asking that? Is this really what you want to be doing?” “Yes.” “You want to be a prostitute?” “Yes.” “Why?” “I’m good at it.” “But you can be good at something else as well.” “Why do I have to be good at anything else? I’m a good prostitute, why can’t people respect that?” “You know prostitution is illegal in this country, don’t you?” She was silent for several minutes, and Ibe had given up on the conversation. “It should not be illegal.” “It’s a risky occupation.” “It is only risky because it is prohibited.” Sidi maintained, “There is a market for prostitution. You can’t fight something that there is a huge demand for, and you really should not. The only thing you would succeed in doing is put people’s lives at risk. People should ask themselves why there is a demand for prostitutes. And what will happen in the society when there isn’t a single one available. Do you think that men would simply zip up their trousers and look for other ways to pass the time? Do you think it will drive more men into marriage? If you do, then you are naïve.” Ibe considered what she had just said. “When I was eleven, I was raped by a group of men – five of them, to be exact.” Six of them, she thought to herself. “My father was the only person I could tell this to. Not because we were particularly close, but because he was my only family still alive. He blamed me for it. Don’t travel close to the sun if you don’t want to get burned; but you cannot stop the sun from burning hot. He said it was an African man’s nature to want sex. They cannot ‘stay’ without it. Can you imagine my father saying that to me at eleven? After…… It’s in everyone’s nature to want sex just as it is in everyone’s nature to want food. African men don’t have a monopoly on sexual desire. They flaunt their sex drive with such a baffling audacity, and then they shame women who – as nature has designed – have an equally compelling appetite for sex. They call them nymphomaniacs, or worse, when all they are being is honest. And then they force women to retreat into a shell, and make them take the identity of that shell – a reticent creature who wants nothing else but to be submissive to a man, and cater to his needs. And some women can do it too – by applying self-discipline. Self-discipline is the only difference between the exploitation a man’s and a woman’s sexual desire. Men invent narratives for women and expect them to fit these specifications to a tee. Look at the so-called ‘virtuous woman’ in the bible! A virtuous woman who can find?........ It should have just ended there with: no one. No one can find a virtuous woman. No one should be able to find a virtuous woman. A virtuous woman is a man’s appendage. Women should not aspire to fit the fantasies of men. They should, instead, be uninhibited versions of who they were created to be. If African men cannot stay without sex, should it be my responsibility to provide it? Why don’t they get married? And if they don’t want to get married why don’t they just pay women who provide the service to the entire public? A culture like ours, where men blame their sexual indiscipline on their DNA, should embrace the prostitution business. They should make it legal and clean, and they should be grateful to the women who have voluntarily entered this service instead of demonizing them. Women should treat prostitutes like war heroes because they’re taking one for the team. Men who patronize prostitutes? They are the honest ones – the ones who have understood their natures, and have accepted their weakness. So they indulge themselves with very little harm to the society. But those men who turn away from us, and think that we are disgusting? Some of them would rape their own children, and then try to justify their actions by citing the treacherous and insurmountable biological constitution of a man. There are cultures that line up a man’s sister-in-law to fill his wife’s shoes in the event that she dies before him. Why should such a ridiculous thing be thought up by anyone? I believe that prostitutes are indispensible. People should encourage men to consult prostitutes for all of their extracurricular needs, and the world will be safer for women as well. This is my calling. I believe that I’m a crusader; somebody has got to do it.” Ibe had tightened his hold around her. “I’m sorry.” He didn’t know what else to say. “What are you sorry about?” “I had no idea……… the things you past through as a child.” Sidi shrugged. “We all have our share of misfortune.” “But do you really think that a man who is inclined to rape someone would be satisfied by anything else?” “Maybe there are many who wouldn’t be. But still, it is important to take away their excuses.” She ran her fingers absently across his broad chest, “I was listening to the radio the other day…….they were talking about soldiers raping women in refugee camps. What disgusted me most about some of the responses was that people seemed to accept this behaviour from the soldiers, saying that they had no other options to ease the tension. And when you are given that excuse, you would exploit it. Legalization of the prostitution business is not a silver bullet. It’s just one of the many things that need to be addressed. It is more important to hold rapists accountable for their actions and then punish them decisively. Here, in this country, we blame women. We say they are dressed in revealing clothes. What about the children who get raped? Are they also dressed in revealing clothes? What do they even have to reveal? What about the mad women who roam the street, stark naked? Why haven’t these randy men lost their control over them? If it is something that can truly not be helped, they should attempt raping a mad woman and allow her crack their skulls wide open. But it can be helped, and they know enough to steer clear of certain situations. They should be held accountable and they should be punished! What do I want them to do about their irrepressible desires? They should patronize prostitutes.” “Isn’t it………..degrading to have a man pay to have sex with you.” “Why would it be degrading? That’s another thing that men have given veracity to by telling it too many times.” “How?” “Do you ever feel degraded when you receive a pay check for work that you did for someone? That’s them putting a price on your value, isn’t it? Your value to them at that time. Why should a prostitute feel shame? Besides, everyone bleeps for money in this country. Girls keep boyfriends to pay for their hair, clothes, make-up, gadgets, rent, and whatever. Women get married for financial security. It’s all sex for money. It is hypocritical to look at prostitutes with a crooked look. ” “Yeah well, hypocrisy is what we do best.” Ibe mused. “I’m still worried for you. I don’t like this thing you are exposed to on a daily basis.” She touched his cheek affectionately, “you’re really sweet to worry about me, but I have been on my own, on this path, since I was fourteen.” “Nine days to the thief and only one to the owner.” He cited the popular saying, “It’s best to quit while you are ahead. You are a really smart girl…….i’m sure there is nothing that you would not be great at. Have you ever thought about finishing school?” “What for? They have nothing to teach that I haven’t already learned. I have read more books than the average Nigerian student. And that’s because I realized, being out of school, I had a lot to make up for. While they sat in classrooms doing the barest minimum to move on to the next class, I explored subjects for the only sake of knowing. Why should I go back to school to re-learn the things which I already know?” For the certification, Ibe did not say. He kissed her on the temple. They were similar souls – bound by their ideologies and convictions. And it was a marvel to see these qualities in one so young. He understood her perspective of things all too well; it was as if they were standing at the same vantage point, looking at the world. Maybe she was right: education might only ruin her. It might only make her ordinary. He wrapped both of his arms around her lithe figure to provide her with more warmth than the flimsy party-dress could provide, and they fell asleep together. There was only about an hour of the night to savour before they had to be up again. But they allowed themselves three. When Ibe opened his eyes, the sunlight flooded in through the curtains, and caused him to squint in irritation. Sidi lay peaceful beside him; her face was angelic in oblivion. He heard the knock on the door, and realized that was the sound, which had roused him in the first place. “I’m coming!” he grunted after further persistence rattled his door. He flung it open, determined to begin with a telling off. But then he saw Kioba standing in front of him – tall, elegant, with an anxious look in her eyes – and he wondered if, perhaps, he might still be dreaming. |
3 At about two in the morning, a dark coloured SUV pulled to a stop a few hundred metres from Sidi’s home. She alighted, staggering slightly as she misjudged the level of the alcohol coursing through her blood vessels. She mumbled her ‘Good night’ in a daze without looking back to the driver, who had been her companion for the evening. Rather, she had been his – spruced up, paid for and used to his satisfaction. She had forgotten his name already; he was not one of her regulars. But he had paid well and he exercised. So he was fit enough to do his business without dripping his sweat all over her, and he didn’t have that protruding belly which ignorant rich people seemed to cultivate as a statement of their wealth; as if it were ever in doubt. But he partied hard, with alcohol and pills. And he didn’t like to do that alone. All considered, it had been a decent evening’s work, and Sidi couldn’t wait to fall into bed. She never allowed her clients to drop her off at the junction closest to her house, because she didn’t like it when they knew where she lived. She had made experiences that had taught her that it was safer to keep her address a mystery. There was a client she once had, he had fallen hopelessly in love with her and had subsequently proposed to marry her. She had, of course, turned his offer down, believing him to be mentally unstable. She was not far from the truth, as she came to discover in the ensuing weeks. He harassed her constantly. At first, he had tried to guilt her into accepting to marry him, claiming that he could not live without her and that he was inclined to commit suicide if she did not accept his offer. Sidi had been less than sympathetic refusing to be culpable for his impending death by foolishness. Then he tried to shame her into marrying him, telling her that a common prostitute could not be too choosy when considering a husband. He told her to give thanks to her God, for even sending her one man who nursed a desire to make her his wife. And when he saw that Sidi was unmoved by his denigration, he started to get violent. He told her that he would get away with raping her and even killing her, because a prostitute didn’t matter to anyone in this society. As much as she had tried to keep up her stoic front, his threats bothered Sidi. They bothered her because she believed him – he would have gotten away with anything. Nobody cared about prostitutes. Stilettos in hand, swinging by the straps, she walked in her bare tired feet to her junction. A police van emerged out of nowhere and stopped, purposefully, in front of her, cutting off her stride. She was immediately filled with a sense of foreboding. Two officers got out, hauling along their ever present tedious rifles. “Madam may we know who you are?” the first officer approached her menacingly. “I’m –” Sidi was disconcerted by the question and the bright lights from their van. She blinked to adjust her eyes to the glare. “Your identification card!” the second officer pressed impatiently. Sidi let go of her shoes, sending them hurtling to the pavement, and she rummaged for her national ID card in her oversized hand-bag. The second officer snapped the laminated card out of her outstretched hand and looked at it without actually seeing it, “Wetin you dey do for road by this time?” “I’m on my way home.” Sidi said “From where?” “A friend’s place.” The police officer took in her flimsy dress with a look of utter disgust. “By this time?” “Yes.” “Eheh! Why you no sleep for there?” Sidi did not respond. “Na ashawo work you from come abi?” the officer said disdainfully, “Oya, enter motor.” He instructed her to get into the back of the van. “Officer, am I under arrest?” “I tell you say make you enter motor, you dey ask me question. You wan resist?” he opened his eyes wide to intimidate her. He took a menacing step in her direction and Sidi weighed her options. There was no soul in sight except for the people clustered by the van. She stood a better chance if she co-operated with these men. Too many lives had already been wasted by trigger-happy policemen over little misunderstandings. She decided to get on the back of the van. She discovered she wasn’t alone. There was one other woman seated at the back – a scantly clothed, heavily made-up woman of the night; just like she was. “Amos! Amos! I done tell you say I never get any hustle yet now. Na you dey even kill my time; I for done get something already, take settle una!” the woman – she was plump, aged and wore a bright red wig – shouted after the second officer who ignored her. “My friend shut-up!” the first officer barked. They got moving. “I no dey like this kind thing!” the red-wig complained, “See as pesin go come waste him time!” “No be station we dey go?” Sidi asked. “For where!” The red-wig said, she seemed well acquainted with the squad. “Na free pussy these ones dey find. Na to drive us go enter bush now. After them do finish, them go free us.” Sidi did not want to be ‘free pussy’. She was not as accepting of this situation as the other woman appeared to be. The woman with the red wig chewed on gum, carelessly; waiting for enough time to pass, to see the inevitable molestation safely into the past. It was only time that was her worry. It did not occur to her that she should resist or otherwise influence the situation. To her, it had already happened, at some time in the future. She had accepted that there were only two kinds of fucking – married fucking, which was the only acceptable kind, and whoring. And when one was whoring, a Bleep was a Bleep, and there was no difference between any two. Fornication, prostitution and rape; there was a LovePeddler involved in all three of those, and whores didn’t make a fuss about collecting dick. But Sidi made clear distinctions for herself. She alone chose the people she slept with, and she did not care to give up that dignified freedom of choice. Her body was hers; to do with as she pleased. And if it was her pleasure to have sex with men for money, then that should be respected. It did not make her public property. It certainly did not make her the property of the police force. They came to a halt somewhere, off the main road. The officers asked Sidi to come down, and they walked some distance away from the van. “Eh-hehn, baby! What are you saying now?” Sidi had not been saying anything, but she let him continue without pointing that out, “Do you want us to carry you to the station?” The officers had changed their approach. They had dropped the crude pidgin and were speaking to her like men toasting a female in the street – best effort street English. Sidi realized then that these officers might actually believe that she was not really a prostitute. They only wanted to take advantage of the compromising situation they had found her in. “I would prefer it if you let me go. But what option do I have?” She saw their eyes roam boldly over her body – unabashedly declaring their lust. “We can’t let you go like that. You have already committed the offense.” The second officer – Amos – pointed out, “But we can discuss.” “Officer, what is my offense?” “You still dey argue that one?” the first officer asked with a chuckle. “We have you on solicitation, so you better address your mind, if we don’t talk very well, here, you will sleep in the cell.” There wasn’t much left of the night to endure, Sidi considered. But there were worse things to fear from being in police custody than the giant mosquitoes and the smell of urine. Sidi was tempted to argue the supposed charge but then, she realized that the officer had said ‘we have you on solicitation’ and not ‘you were soliciting’, and she knew that it would be fruitless to argue anything; she was a fish caught on a hook. “I don’t have anything to give.” Sidi played up her ignorance of their intentions. “A fine girl like you! You always have something to give.” Officer Amos smiled. “You should know what I am talking about.” Sidi’s stomach turned in disgust. They were suddenly distracted by a figure hopping from the van to the floor, and running away into the night. “Heh!” the first officer raised his voice above the wind in a futile attempt to get red-wig back into the van. “Leave am! I done chop that one tire.” Officer Amos said, barely paying the fleeing woman any attention. Sidi had not realized how much she had relied on the presence of red-wig until she was gone. She now felt even more vulnerable in this deserted place with these two men who had sworn to protect and serve the community she was doubtlessly a part of. She looked back to Officer Amos and saw a smirk on his face – one that let her know just how much he enjoyed having her as their sole captive. “I can take you to an ATM.” Sidi offered. She had twenty-thousand in cash in her bag but she wanted to get out of this hapless area. They were less likely to try anything on the main road, which had felt the footfalls of a human being fairly recently. “How much?” Officer Amos was determined to keep his focus on her body. “I have five thousand naira in my account.” She knew she had to make it attractive enough for them. But Officer Amos appeared unimpressed. He wanted to Bleep her. The first officer watched officer Amos for a reaction. When he got none, he jumped in, “Amos, na small girl be this, leave am, make we carry the money go.” “Which small girl? You see woman like this, talk say na small girl?” Sidi allowed them argue over it, reserving her energy for the resultant verdict. |
“So, will you be my girlfriend?” Ibe had an anxious look on his face. It was after school, the day he had kissed a girl for the first time in his life. The day he had grown ten feet in an instant. He had ditched his friends to walk Kioba to the car park area. “What makes you think I would agree to be your girlfriend?” Kioba had challenged with a fiery look in her eyes, “You are so……. uncool.” “But you kissed me.” “I have kissed a lot of boys.” She pointed out with a humourless chuckle. “I don’t care about that.” She showed her exasperation. “It’s not for you to care or not care. I am not apologising for anything.” “I didn’t mean it like that.” Ibe was getting frustrated, “Look, Kiki, all that I’m saying is that I really, really, really like you. And I would really like to be your boyfriend.” She stared at him with a funny look in her eyes. He couldn’t read it. “Why do you think I kissed you today, Gideon?” “I don’t know.” “Do you think it’s because I like you?” “No, I don’t think you kissed me because you like me. But I’m hoping that you do like me, underneath all of your posturing. And if you don’t, I’m hoping that I can make you.” She stared at him; there was that enigmatic look again. “I don’t like you.” She said eventually. “Then, just say yes, you will be my girlfriend and I will work on fixing that.” She laughed. “You are an idiot.” “I know. Say yes.” He urged, nudging her playfully on the shoulder as they walked down the road, “Please? Say yes.” “You want me to be your girlfriend because you think that I will have sex with you.” She said knowingly. “I wasn’t even thinking that!” “You were.” She accused him doggedly, “You think that because I make out with a lot of boys, I would have sex too.” “No, i definitely do not think that!” “Good!” she said forcefully, “Because that is never going to happen. Trust me, it so won’t.” “Kiki, I am fine with that. I’m not looking to rush into sex any time soon, anyway. I only just had my first kiss!” He realized too late. He had spilt the beans and lost way too many cool-points. “I thought you said you kissed all those church girls.” She teased. “Well, this – this one felt………real?” “Relax Gideon! I knew you were lying then.” He worried that she would see him as………well, uncool. “But I have done other things……..with girls.” “No, you haven’t.” “See, you think you know me, but you really don’t.” “Surprise me then.” She invited. He tried to come up with something edgy and shocking. He couldn’t. And then he gave up trying. “See? Nothing.” “But I’m open to trying all kinds of stuff.” She gave him a sidelong glance. “Gideon, you are a good boy. Don’t try to change that for a girl.” “I’m not trying to change for a girl; I’m changing for you.” “Ugh! That’s just some boy bullshit thing to say.” They had gotten to the parking lot, and her driver was already parked at his usual spot, waiting. “It’s not……. bullshit. I’m telling you what I feel in my heart.” “Bullshit.” She insisted simply. She turned on her heel and got into the back seat of the grey Honda Accord. And he watched her being whisked away. If that’s the way she wanted to play it, he thought in desperation, then he was up for it. The following week he had convinced his friend Timothy to have a party at his house. Timothy Okri went to a different school from the one Ibe went to, one where his father paid a ridiculous amount on tuition. It was a trip, in its own right, to say he went to that school just so that he could watch people mentally set stacks of cash on fire, and wonder how his father did it every term. Timothy was the only person Ibe knew, who was both rich and ‘happening’. He knew that a party at Timo’s house would impress Kioba. “There is this thing at a friend’s house on Saturday – a little get together. Do you want to come with me?” Kioba looked at him in disbelief. “A party?” “Yes.” “Gideon, what are you doing?” “I’m trying to show you a different side to me.” He shrugged casually, “So? Do you want to come?” “Since I know that you went out of your way to set this up for me, I should have to come.” He sputtered. “I didn’t. Go out of my way.” “No?” “No.” he assured her. “It’s actually Timothy Okri’s party. You know, the son of –” “I know who Timothy Okri is.” She said. “Okay, so I will pick you up by five?” “Pick me up?” she asked amused. “Yes.” He insisted. That Saturday Ibe made several errors in judgement. First he had taken his uncle’s Mercedes out of the garage. He did not have a driver’s licence, and he had never really driven a car before. He only knew how to do it in theory. And the fact that it was an auto transmission vehicle, made his plan seem all the more plausible; but it was really only a beckoning abyss. Secondly, He called Chuka to ride shot-gun with him, and his rascal friend came with a bottle of Squadron and a pack of Benson & Hedges to take the edge off. Ibe was delighted for the ammunition to wage war on his boring persona. He thought it would be a good idea to pick his soon-to-be girlfriend up, slightly tipsy bad boy style; so he indulged himself, and little too much. He had never had alcohol or tobacco before; the horrible tastes seemed manly enough, and so, he steeled himself against the repulsiveness of the medicine he was sure he needed to become the man who would be worthy of Kioba’s affections. They got into the car at half past four. And that was all he could remember about that day. But he had awoken on a hospital bed staring up at his livid uncle and relieved aunt. And the bruises on the Mercedes told the rest of the story. When he got to school the following week, he suffered from a severe case of hurt pride. Everyone had heard, from his uncle’s rants, that he was a stupid boy who had never driven a car in his life, and yet had somehow been possessed to take his uncle’s car out to the road after consuming a whole bottle of Squadron. They also heard that he had received a good beating to cure him of his stupidity. “Hey.” Kioba collapsed into the seat beside him after an English class. “Hey.” He said despondently. “How are you feeling?” “Wounded.” She tilted her head that way, “I’m sure it’s not as bad as it looks.” His intended smile translated itself into a grimace. She took his hand in hers. “Gideon?” “Yes?” “Yes.” “What?” “Yes, I will be your girlfriend.” He was wondering, but he did not dare ask why, because he feared she might change her mind. “Oh, this is all it took to get you to say yes?” he joked, “I would have broken my legs for you.” “I think that might be true. You are a very crazy person, and if I don’t say yes to you now, you’ll just keep hurting yourself. So please, you win. Just stop trying to be cool.” She got up to leave, but then he pulled her back and kissed her – exactly like she had taught him to – in the middle of the classroom for everyone to see. “Please don’t ever do that again?” she asked as they broke apart. But she wasn’t angry. And he could only smile sheepishly. Their last year of secondary school, Ibe had been filled with three convictions: that he would never look good in yellow; that he was destined for extraordinary things; and that he would walk through fire for Kioba Lawson. In the year they had dated, he had felt his heart open like a giant vortex pulling her deeper into its whirl with every resounding beat. She filled him with such happiness and purpose, that he didn't want to even imagine ever being without her. He liked it when she rested her head on his shoulder, like it was the most natural thing in the world to do; or when she curled up next to him while they watched a movie; or when she held his hand in public. And he enjoyed the trifecta as they sat in the food court at the shopping mall; he barely moved because he did not want to disturb the sensations coursing through his body, as he held her close. The four of them - Ibe, Kioba, Timothy, and Thelma, who was Timothy's girlfriend - had gone to see a movie together, and they were having smoothies after the fact. "I am so happy we are all still going to be together next year." Thelma beamed, "At least, the end of secondary school won't have to be so tragic. Can you imagine leaving all your friends behind?" "Yes, we are so lucky we all got into ABU." Timothy agreed. He had his arm around Thelma's shoulder and she held onto his roaming hand, halting it from wreaking havoc. “Yes, even you!” Ibe remarked, referring to Timothy. “And that’s the most surprising part.” Timothy stared at the cozy couple across from him, "Kiki and Ibe, do you guys want a room? No smooching in public!" "Look who is talking!" Kioba said, "You have been groping Thelma's boobs all afternoon!" Timothy flashed the devilishly handsome smile he practiced regularly when no one was watching. "You saw that?.......Did it turn you on?" "Ugh!" She turned her face away in disgust. "Timothy what's wrong with you?"Ibe demanded harshly. He held his hands up in innocence, "I'm sorry! I was just teasing her." "Well, don't!" Ibe persisted. "You were just disrespectful to every single one of us at this table." "True" Thelma held up her hand and nodded in agreement, eager to let him know she was still there. "You guys should stop being so serious! I said I was sorry." He stared at them again, "So, I guess that means I'm not allowed to ask if you guys have finally done it yet?" Thelma's hysterical laughter rang out like instant bells, while Ibe and Kioba ignored him. "I just don't understand what the big deal is? You guys are obviously into each other, why don't you just get it over with." "Maybe they want to keep having something to look forward to." Thelma mused. “Don’t get rid of the magic all at once.” “All at once? It’s been over a year!” Kioba pointedly excused herself to go to the ladies'-room, and she asked if Thelma would go with her. Thelma nodded and reluctantly got to her feet. When the girls were gone, Ibe slapped Timothy over the head, which, he knew, was precisely what Kioba had hoped to orchestrate. "Stop messing with Kiki!" He warned, "What is the matter with you?" "Ow!" He said in exaggeration of the pain that Ibe had inflicted upon him, "I'm just looking out for you." "What is that supposed to mean?" "I want to make sure your gir is loyal." "It's not your place to do that." "Then who else is going to? You are my person, and I need to have your back on this." Ibe hesitated. "Look, Timo, it is not your place to intrude.......but Kiki and I, are good, so please just stay out of it." "Then why won't she bang you?" "Are you serious right now?" He murmured "You must have thought about it yourself. She's way hotter than you-" "Thank you very much for that update." He said with sarcasm. "Anytime! Look, if she wanted to Bleep you, she would have done it already." "What makes you think it wasn't my idea to wait?" "I know it wasn't, because I know that you are not stupid." "What?" "Only a stupid person will hold off on that. And you are not stupid. So, that leaves us with option number three: she is not feeling you like that." Ibe thought about their passionate make out sessions – the way she always held him like she wanted to shield him from all the bad things of the world, and he knew that Timothy was talking nonsense. "Okay, noted." "What does that mean, 'noted'?" "It means that I have heard you, but I still need you to stay out of it. I want what happens between Kiki and me, to stay between Kiki and me." "She is going to break your heart." Timothy warned. "I will take my chances with the broken heart. Just leave it alone." "Suit yourself." "I will. And I mean it – leave it alone!" When the girls returned, it was time to leave. It was already dark outside. They all climbed into Timothy's Rav4, Ibe and Kioba sat in the back seat while Timothy kept groping Thelma in the front seat as he drove them home. First, they went to Kioba's house. It made sense that she be dropped off first. "Thanks, Timothy." She said as she got out Ibe got out of the car too, "you guys should go on, and I’ll take a taxi later." He took Kiki's hand, and they walked to her gate. "Do you want to talk a bit before I go in?" Ibe sensed that it was she who had something to get off her chest. "Yeah, sure." They sat down on the pavement of the gate-house. "Are you still upset about Timothy?" "I am not upset about Timothy." She stated emphatically, "I am worried about him. Worried for you." "Why?" "Because I think that he is a bad influence?" "On whom? Me? I'm not that impressionable." "I know you're not. I meant that he is a bad influence on our relationship." "Kiki, he's my friend." Ibe pointed out in a subtle plea. "Yeah" she said in resignation, "I know." "I spoke with him while you were in the bathroom." He said to give her some hope, "he is not going to be so......insensitive again." "Okay." She didn't say that she thought Timothy had his designs on her. It would sound conceited. She decided she would personally keep her distance from him. "Seriously, you don't have to worry about him." He linked his fingers with hers. "Okay, just forget I said anything." She kissed him on the cheek. They sat in silence for a while, and watched dark shadowy figures walk by. "Are you nervous about Uni?" "Of course, I am. Entirely new environment, so far away, new people.....yes, of course, I am nervous. But I'm also excited. And I'm grateful because I'm still going to have you there." He squeezed her hand in acknowledgement. "Kiki?" "Yeah?" "I love you." She searched his face. But she stayed silent and he started to panic. "I have felt it for some time now, and I didn't say anything because I didn't want to pressure you or scare you with……… these feelings. I don't want you to think that I am expecting anything from you in return, because I am not. I just need you to know it. And I'm saying it to you now because we are going be in a different world soon and I have no idea how it is going to affect us. We obviously will be dealing with so many changes and some uncertainties, as well, when we get to ABU, and I feel like we can carry along this one sure thing with us. And I want you to know that it happened here – that I have fallen for you very quickly. So, just know it: I love you." He couldn't see her face in the dark, but he felt her lips on his, as she zeroed in for a long passionate kiss. *** Kioba did not come back to the site in the following days, and that suited Ibe just fine. He was able to complete the work without the awkwardness of having to see her but not speak with her. He knew exactly why she stayed away, even at the risk of having to rework several sections without the close supervision, and he was secretly grateful to her for being so considerate. |
Ibe watched as Kioba – the woman who had broken his heart too many times – spoke with the foreman. He took her around to inspect the newly erected walls and she pointed out certain corrections to him, which he noted in his jotter. And then, within minutes, she stood only inches away from Ibe. “Gideon.” Her expression was inscrutable. She had always been able to hide behind her eyes, even as a child. Ibe nodded his greeting; unsure about what to say. Was she Kioba? Or Madam? Or Mrs. Okri? He did not know anymore. Too many things had happened, to turn them into different people than they were the last time they had seen each other, but he still carried the full measure of the hurt in his heart. He felt his own shabbiness more intently, next to her sophistication. She opened her mouth as if she were about to say something. But then, she seemed to change her mind about it. She turned away and continued going over the works, making a decent job of dismissing the ghost from her past. And then, she was gone. As planned, Ibe worked late into the night. He had brought a powerful lantern to suspend the darkness and he had also been able to convince a ‘labour man’ to stay on with him – Boniface; he didn’t mind making a little extra money either. Together, they braved the swarm of mosquitoes that had gathered to enjoy the rare feast within these bushes. “Oga, e be like say you and our madam una know unaself before?” Boniface asked as he dumped a fresh head-pan of grout for Ibe to use. “How you take reason am?” Ibe asked with no interest to pursue the conversation. “Na the way she been look you, na him make me dey talk like that.” Ibe placed a new row of masonry units and used his plumb to ensure they were level. “We been dey the same school.” “Eh! You see?” Ibe didn’t know what there was to see. “Na Engineer she too she be?” “No.” Ibe said as he began chucking in the grout between the gaps, “She’s an Architect.” “Won-der-ful! I for talk am self! The way she dey come site every day, dey look the work. I know there must be something.” Ibe did not respond to Boniface’s astonishment over Kioba’s occupation. He was now more concerned with completing his task as quickly as possible. He did not care to be here any longer than was absolutely necessary. Was he laying blocks for a house in which Kioba would live with her husband – his former best friend – Timothy Okri? The thought of it made him sick to his stomach. But beggars couldn’t be choosers, and he had to pay his rent. “But Oga, you dey lucky o!” Boniface was saying, “E be like say your matter done settle, because that madam, na big woman she be. And she fit find you job self.” Ibe nodded, not willing to commit himself any further. And in the silence that he was desperate to preserve, his mind took him on inevitable journeys he would rather not travel. |
That Friday night, Ibe knew nothing about making paper except that it was gotten from trees and magically turned into thin veneers. He didn’t know much about starting a business either. And so, he spent the whole of the weekend educating himself on the intricacies of a prospective paper business. He learned about complexities he never imagined were involved in the paper production process. As he read through the research material, he followed the tree trunks in his mind’s eye, from the moment they made their entrance into the paper mill. The process began with debarking wood logs and reducing them into tiny sizes called kindling. Then the kindling was turned into a paste or pulp, which was essentially the same thing – a slurry mixture of water and kindling. The pulping process involved cooking the paste in alkali at high temperatures to remove the impurities in the wood pulp; and grinding it to separate the fibres. The fibres were subsequently washed, bleached with chlorine dioxide to give it its white colour, and then dried. Lastly, the dry pulp was analysed for anomalies to keep to the desired quality, and then rolled out in a press for adequate sizing and packaging. The processes incorporated several sophisticated machinery ranging from the debarking drums, the chipper, pulper, to the fourdrinier; and Ibe realized, with a sinking feeling, that this business would not be started with pennies. He also discovered that he could begin the paper making process by pulping old newspapers, periodicals and other kinds of discarded paper instead of kindling, in a much cheaper recycling process. He would have to de-ink the pulp to remove adhesives and ink by a process of floatation; and pass the fibre on for subsequent washing, breaching and drying. On the business end of things, Ibe was dispirited to get further confirmation from the books that starting up a paper mill would not only be capital intensive but labour intensive as well. It was a tiny bit comforting to note that one could expect to break even within a couple of years of production, if the product was good. A research of the market showed that the there was room for indigenous players. The Nigerian government spent about fifty billion naira yearly on the importation of paper to supplement consumption needs! The three government-owned paper factories which were established in the 1960s and 1970s, spread across the country, lay in a comatose state since the 1980s, when optimum productivity had seen paper importation fade. A decision to privatise, at the turn of the century, in order to reduce bureaucracy, bad management, and corruption, provided a short-lived improvement. The factories were being run then by foreigners who relied on the importation of long-fibre pulp, pulping chemicals, and technical expertise to remain operative. In the long run, however, the unavailability of home-grown talent had proven too overwhelming. But Ibe did not lose heart; so long as there was a need for it, he was determined to supply it. Considering the challenge of sourcing long-fibre trees and the massive expense, Ibe favoured beginning with a paper recycling business. It was more flexible cost-wise because it could be scaled to suit a relatively prudent budget. He would still have to invest heavily in land, building facilities, machines and raw materials; but while he was looking to secure the capital, he could start off by collecting waste paper and delivering it to already functioning plants. Ibe rounded off the weekend with a sketch production of his business plan, and slept on it. He would get started on it as soon as he had gotten the small matter of his rent out of the way. The following Monday, he laid blocks at a construction site. He had worked as a mason before – a skill he had remotely acquired by watching the experts, while he was looking to make some quick cash to pay the ever lingering bills. He had started out hauling blocks, mixing concrete and providing general ‘labour’ for the masons who worked on the sites. But he was a quick study and a meticulous man; and when one of the masons had thrown a fit over his meagre wages and refused to continue his work, Ibe had seen an opportunity and taken advantage of it to impress the supervisor. And, he certainly had been impressed. His name was Mike, and he had asked Ibe to give him a call whenever he needed these kinds of jobs in the future. Ibe had called him that Friday and Mike had told him that there was no opening at the moment. Ibe had practically grovelled, impressing upon him how dire his situation was. Eventually, Mike had been able to find him something, and at the expense of some other poor fool, he had set Ibe up on one of his sites in a fast developing area of Port Harcourt. Ibe knew about the collateral damage he had left in the wake of his hustle, but he was too consumed by his own desperation to care about anybody else. He reported for duty by a quarter to seven because work was scheduled to start at the top of the hour. There were no overalls or any other safety gear given to workers on these kinds of sites, so he changed into his dirty jeans and old Timberland boots. He did not bother with a shirt in the heat. Luckily, he had been able to convince Mike to pay him by the mile-stone and not by the day. On the average, a mason laid ninety concrete masonry units per day, but he was determined to work extra hours to cover, at least, one and half of that; and if he found the strength and a enough power to provide lighting, maybe twice the number. At the rate of three-thousand naira, he would be able to raise a little more than the twenty-thousand which he needed by Friday evening to complete the payment of his rent. The sun shone brilliantly, and it would be a beautiful day if one were lounging by the pool or at the beach, with no care in the world. On a construction site, however, right under the elements, this was a merciless day. But at least one could take comfort in the fact that it was not raining. Too much sun was better than rain, because it allowed progress to be made. The workers remained good natured through it all, and they shared the kind of crude banter that Ibe was not very comfortable with. But he worked hard to fit in, by laughing whenever he thought it was appropriate, even if he didn’t have stories of his own to share; at least, not any kinds that would appeal to their rudimentary sensibilities. “Oga, them talk say you be graduate?” one of the masons addressed Ibe. They had refused to call him by his name, preferring to use the term that afforded some distance and respect, because they saw something in him that was different. “Yes, o.” Ibe underplayed the significance of it, “You done see as e help me so?” The mason shook his head in sympathy. Then he spoke to everyone in general, “As Nigeria dey now, eh? Office job no dey again! If you wan help yourself, na to carry tools do all these kind dirty jobs o!” “Who tell you say office job no dey?” another man challenged, “No be people dey work for Shell? Or Total? Or even Mobil? Na only luck person suppose get. But as for – jobs dey.” “Sometimes too, na the course wey person read dey cause the wahala. All these people wey dey read History or Philosophy…….wetin them dey carry that wan do?” “Na Banks dey carry those kind ones. When they reach there, them go begin do marketing.” “That Bank marketing job, eh! No be ashawo work be that?” “Na so, now. You no see as girls dey full that area? And them dey pick them o! Na only the fine, fine ones fit do the marketing.” The man spoke as if he were an authority on the matter, “You no see as the woman wey get this site be?” “Na banker she be?” “Na banker now!” “The woman fine, sha.” “She try! Na so them dey be.” “That woman done marry?” “She done marry now, her oga done even come here like three times.” He bragged like he was talking about his personal protégé, “One correct man like that. Clean! Sweet dressing.” “Wetin the man dey do?” “I no dey too sure, e fit be say na business man him be. But you go fit see him money for him body.” “Okay, oookay……I done remember. Him dey drive that Range Rover – white.” “Eh-heh, na him!.....if na me be that man, with all the money wey I get, I go tell my wife, make she stop to dey work for that bank. Make she dey house dey look my pikin, dey chop my money. Na so e suppose be, as far as the money dey.” “She done get pikin?” “How she wan get? You no know as bank work dey be? Na twelve midnight them dey take reach house. By that kind time Oga go done vex sleep, wetin concern am with woman again?” “Ah! I no fit o!” “Na e be the thing wey I dey talk. Na to bring am come house, open small shop for am. So that she go fit get something doing.” “Na true you talk.” Said the mason, “Me self, I no go like make my wife get oga for office. I no go like make she dey call am ‘sir’, dey run up and down for am.” “Ah! That thing dey very dangerous, because that oga must do something with am. Him must show himself.” “Ho-ha!” The two men laughed indiscriminately, letting the crunchy disturbance ride in the thin air. As if he only just realized that Ibe had been excluded from the conversation, the mason turned his attention to Ibe again. “Oga, abeg, which course you read for that university?” “Chemical Engineering.” “Ah! So na Engineer you be? Come be chemical, kwa? And na here you dey, dey do mason work?” he hissed. “Nigeria done spoil! If na before, as you graduate with that kind sweet course, the very same day, them go give you key to your house and better motor.” “What are you talking!” the other man said in passionate agreement. People spoke fondly of the good old days and did not mind embellishing their stories. They spoke of good times, where the streets were lined in gold. It was safe to assume that the times they described, with such nostalgic sentiments, were not witnessed by anyone throughout the ages. But it gave people hope for a better future, to look back to a glorious past. It could one day be achieved again, if it had been done before. * Shortly before four o’clock, which was shortly before the official closing time, a black Toyota Corolla drove into the cordoned compound. “E be like say the madam done come.” The mason remarked with an indicative nod of his head. Ibe watched with keen interest as the door to the passenger’s side opened and the woman got out. She was dressed in a dark business suit, and she had the superb figure to wear it well. She started to walk towards the construction workers but then she turned around, removed her jacket and tossed it into the car. The unforgiving heat was giving the men something to ogle at, as she proceeded to walk towards them in a sleeveless camisole. Something about that gait is strikingly familiar, Ibe thought to himself as he squinted to filter the light, pulling her into focus. She was almost upon them when he saw her face, and he felt as the blood drained instantly from his. *** “Have you ever kissed a girl?” There was a wicked glimmer in her eyes as she stared at him, waiting for his reply. “Of course, I have.” Ibe lied, shifting uncomfortably. They were both sitting on a dewy log behind a laboratory block during the break period, hovering on the brink of accomplishing a dare. Two awkward fifteen year olds – rather one awkward fifteen year old; Kioba at fifteen was already a swan. She was the popular girl, the early bloomer, the one every boy wanted to be seen with and every girl wanted to be best friends with. And Ibe’s friends – Chuka and Daniel – had dared him to kiss her. It was a stupid dare, and he never expected it to go anywhere. He had walked up to her, carelessly, she was sitting on a desk talking to some of her friends, and he had brazenly tapped her on the shoulder. He would say what he had to say, she would call him an ‘idiot’ and it would be a good laugh for everybody. At least he had not chickened out of it. “Kiki, hi” “What’s up, Gideon?” She was the only person who called him by his middle name. It started out as a joke but then it stuck. “So, Chuka and Daniel just dared me, they said I wouldn’t have the guts to give you a kiss –” She had shot a fleeting look in the direction of the brains behind this quest. They were cowering in the back of the class, still finding this very amusing. She stared Ibe in the eye, “Do you?” “What?” “Do you have the guts to kiss me?” her friends were giggling. “I-” she raised a quizzical brow at him, “- wouldn’t be talking to you right now if I didn’t.” “Okay, then.” She challenged, “But it has to be a real kiss…… with tongue.” Ibe had nodded stupidly, and wondered if he should go in for the kiss that very instant. “Not here,” she warded him off, “Break time, behind Physics.” And break time behind Physics, sitting beside her on the log, he found himself stalling. If he got it wrong she would laugh at him and tell all her friends that he was an awful kisser. Or that he had bad breath; or something. He hadn’t thought this all the way through. “Whom did you kiss?” she asked. “What?” “Whom did you kiss? You said you had kissed a girl before.” “You don’t know any of them.” Ibe said too quickly. “Just girls from…….church.” “You kiss girls in your church?!” He wondered if her slight outrage was a good sign of his growing credibility. Maybe she thought him attractively bad; or attractively dangerous, now. “Sometimes.” “Sometimes?” she regarded him pensively, “Okay, so show me.” Ibe felt his clothes grow a little tighter; especially, around the seat of his trousers. “Have you……….ever kissed a boy before?” She had laughed at him. It was a soft laugh that took the sting out of her mirth. “Of course, I have.” “Whom?” “Well, the first time………Eze Arimah.” “Isn’t he in the set that graduated two years ago?” Kioba nodded. “Yes, he is three years older.” “Was he your boyfriend?” Ibe felt suddenly intimidated. “Sometimes” she said vaguely. Then she took his hand, “Are you going to do this or not?” Ibe broke into a sweat; his heart beat wildly. “Okay, Gideon look –” She said in exasperation when she couldn’t take his reticence any longer, she held his face between her hands, “Come here. Just – relax…… okay? Relax. Don’t feel like you have to do anything to make this interesting. Like don’t poke your tongue into my mouth –” Ibe panicked, she was making it worse with these instructions, “I’m going to kiss you and you will part your lips only…….when you feel you can’t hold back anymore. Okay?” He nodded, anticipating a severe implosion. She touched her lips to his – gently. Then she pushed them against his. They were very soft and pliant. And he could smell the sweet scent of her lip balm. It was lips touching lips, like that, for….ever – kneading and coaxing. And although he wanted to taste her lips with his tongue, to see if they tasted as sweet as they smelt, she had warned him to hold out until that moment when he couldn’t anymore. So he endured the torture of holding back. She grazed his lower lip with her teeth and it sent exciting sensations down his spine. It was curious; how she could touch him in one place and cause him to feel it in several places all at once. She brushed the tip of her tongue across his upper lip, and he struggled to keep his balance. Then she pulled back, and he couldn’t take it. He parted his lips and chased her mouth down with his, and even though she had warned him against it, he pushed his tongue into her mouth to explore hers. It was very tentative at first, but the reaction he got from her encouraged him to proceed and he grew bolder and more forceful. He clung to her for dear life. And then she pulled away. It took Ibe a while to focus. He saw that she was struggling to regain her composure as well. “Was that okay?” he asked, hopeful. “Yeah!” it was a breathy and high-pitched gasp; a little bit too detached. “How was it for you?” Ibe smiled. “Crazy…….fucking………. sick.” He did not ever want to stop kissing her. Kioba saw that he had shot his trousers. Ibe followed her gaze and became suddenly embarrassed. “I’m sorry” he said as he dabbed his hand-kerchief at the stain. But she did not turn away in prudish disgust. “It’s okay, Gideon.” she smiled, “I’m actually flattered.” “I think we should get back to class.” She nodded. “What are you going to do about that?” “I-” he looked at his soiled trousers contemplatively; “I’ll just rinse it and fly my shirt over it?” “Okay then, my work here is done.” She got up to leave. “Kiki –” he restrained her, “Thanks, thank you.” He felt stupid as soon as the words were out of his mouth. And by the expression on her face, he could tell that she thought it was weird too. Thank you? Really? “You owe me. Gideon.” She said and walked back to class alone while he tried to make himself decent. When he eventually got back to class, Chuka and Daniel swarmed all over him in excitement. “Did you do it? Did you do it?” Ibe had nodded, as cool as you’d like, but with a whole lot of self-importance, “Dog!” they hailed him, with a respectful bump to his fist. He caught Kioba glancing back at him. And when their eyes locked, across the crowded classroom, he felt something inside of him change forever. *** |
After this evaluation, some women will decide they want good companionship, or someone responsible to raise kids with, or whatever else there is to want from the plethora of things men have to offer. But all these requirements shrink the pool of eligible men. Because not all men can give a certain woman good companionship. And not very many would be considered responsible father-types by a specific woman. For the women in focus, if they cannot find what they are looking for, they would stay single. It is not a matter of life or death if you are looking to meet desires. If it comes, hurray; if it does not, life goes on. 
. Yeah, you can say that too.


........no sex on tv is for minors. 