₦airaland Forum

This car is only a year old - fairly used, in very good condition, very clean (never had so much as a bump or okada scratch!) and going for a real give-away! Yes, we can negotiate, but best price offer rides off with it! Tell you a little secret about this car: NEVER NEVER underestimate the power of a hatchback. It may look small but it is tough! This car is tougher than the Toyota Yaris Sedan why? It has a 1.4L engine whilst the Yaris has a 1.3L engine. Beat that! - KYC = KNOW YOUR CARS!!

Brand new at DANA: N2,450,000
Brand new at Germaine Autocentre: N2,475,000 - call and ask, they might give you a mini discount if you negotiate really hard and sell your house! lol, but well,

Oh - most people call me () asking 'why do you want to sell your car?' - i wonder what the reason has got to do with it but to ease your worries, I am a non-nigerian working in Nigeria, soon leaving nigeria - didnt use the car a lot and now i might as well get rid of it!  I obviously cant take the car on the plane with me.  Please don't kill me with questions that are really not necessary.

Specs include: A/C Front
A/C Rear
Power Locks Power Steering
Keyless Entry
Air Bag Driver
Air Bag Passenger
Air Bag Side Alarm CD Player
Power Windows Rear Wiper
Power Mirrors

Mileage: Less than 11000 Miles. Color: Black Interior: Grey Style: Hatchback Drive: 2WD Fuel Type: Petrol Gear Box: Automatic Doors: 5 Engine: 4 cylinders

See pictures below and if you need more pictures - ask! Insurance still valid and comprehensive until June - yes you can have it! Other nice perks including free brake fluid!

Call Kathleen on 08074965044 for more information. ONLY SERIOUS BUYERS PLEASE (do not call to waste my time and yours!) - oh and know a bit about cars (just a bit) that will enable us have a more 'serious' discussion. Honestly, KIA is the new Toyota, Hatchbacks are the new Jeeps and fairly used is the new NEW!- after all, it's been tried, tested and now it can be yours! LOL. Car has been serviced twice and has another free service to go at Germaine Auto Centre. You can either buy this or get conned by those who toy with the Ondometre, seriously.

You will have fun finding parking spaces no one else can park in, and maneuvering through traffic with this baby - trust me! Wanna inspect? With pleasure! Call me - 08074965044

@Ademlabi - i sent you an email to your yahoo inbox, on something quite different and i would be glad if you can check it out and get back to me. thanks

After the success of the 2008 edition, the city of New York will host the second edition of the international meeting on Strengthening Municipality Capacities titled: the "NEW YORK MAYORS SEMINAR" beginning May 6 through May 8, 2009.

This meeting will again bring together mayors, administration representatives, institutions in charge of municipalities and players in municipal development from Europe as well as Asia, Africa and America. The key theme for the 2009 seminar will be: "Municipalities and financing for development infrastructures." It is therefore with great pleasure that they look forward to welcoming you to New York. They are dedicated to making your participation in the sessions a real opportunity for competition, enrichment of experience and networking.

For more information please visit the website at http://www.mayors-seminar.com http://www.urbanicityalerts.org/urbanicityalerts/NYMayorseminar091.htm

Please spread the word to your local governments!!!!!

Thanks - it is not something everyone can learn from and I have changed my mind so dont worry about being 'bothered' by someone from Nairaland.

@MrPataki
Hi. You seem to be the 'expert' on UK visa appeals on this thread. I have been reading what you have shared and I must say those have been quite helpful. I have a few personal queries I would like to raise, which (if are not too much for you to respond to) I would like to send privately to yourself. Perhaps an email address to which I can send them? Quite important. I'll appreciate. Thanks

naah

wow!

because we are all bored to death,

what is the law of attraction?

no you no bi GOD - you be just small god for music!

lalaboi - i bow for you

repeat:

i bow for you!

eheinn! See what i'm saying!? Small time we all go start to pay lalaboi's services o! Di way di guy dey represent - i don dey fear! soon he go begin dey charge we research, uploading and maintainance fee

lalaboi - make you no retire o! we go give you medal of honor first!

@Lalaboi,

I dey fear for you o! my broda. You are now in trouble, abi you go find all the songs for this earth o! King of uploads. I get a lot of faith for you.

By the way - thanks man! I do appreciate all your efforts!!!

Marvin Pentz Gay Jr, American soul and R&B singer-songwriter, instrumentalist, record producer and performer - Shot and killed by his dad Marvin Pentz Gay Sr. after a family Fued.

lalaboi:
dnt mind this again!

uploaded errthing as stated bt dey wer skipping! so i deleted them! am gona re up them l8r! check by thur

so did you delete them all again? haahhhh!!!! haba! And here I was rejoicing, hurry now mennnnnn,

lalaboi:
mizkay!

check in by thursday! som of d songz will be der!

I will do just that my dear, I bow for you!!! Thanks man!

nana:
Jaga Jaga
http://download.yousendit.com/EA4F32D65A9E64A4

My sista - I thank you! God go bless you well well, one day

[Sorry. . .I don't get how to download from espnips. It seems like the only thing you can download for the past few months are widgets?
[quote][/quote]To download from esnips all you need to do is register , it is free! I have been downloading for the past 2 weeks from lalaboi's bizness files !!!!

lalaboi:
biko! hw many times i 1 post this? lol


http://www.esnips.com/web/lala4boisBusinessFiles

e no dey expire! just register and u can download anytime

and watch out 4 updates!

My dear - I can't thank you enough, I have thouroughly enjoyed what I have downloaded from your page! Fab thanks!- However *coughs* I really need the following and I am sure only you can help:

- Mountain Black/Mad Melon - Danfo driver - original version
- Fabulous Benjy - Swoo
- Mr Lecturer III - Eedris Abdulkareem
- Nigeria Jagajaga- Eedris Abdulkareem
- Soul E- Baba dey here (there's a link to download it here but it is just a preview)
- Hapuya like that- Morachi

I just dey beg you - I know say you don tire but i dey beg you!!!! Thanks!

Life is like a box of chocolates, you never know which one you might stumble on!

Much as I do not condone with Immorality - I am certain there are more important issues/priorities that need the Honourable Governor's attention in Lagos than just chasing after flimsy pieces of cloth over the a$$es of Lagos ladies no?

desorlah:
Funny though.

@ poster, so why did the chicken cross the road? I need to hear your own answer!

well my answer is - 'the chicken crossed the road because the road could not cross the chicken. if the road cannot cross the chicken, then the chicken must cross the road, '

This made me laugh after a hard day's work - hope it does make you laugh too!!!
So WHY EXACTLY DID THE CHICKEN CROSS THE ROAD? A few of your celebs give you the answer: -

GEORGE W BUSH
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the road or not. The chicken is either against us or for us. There is no middle ground here.

BILL GATES
I have just witnessed eChicken2003, which will not only cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important documents, and balance your checkbook and internet explorer is an integral part of eChicken.

MARTIN LUTHER KING, JR
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to cross roads without having their motives called into question.


GRANDPA
In my day, we didn't ask why the chicken crossed the road. Somebody told us the chicken crossed the road, and that was good enough.

A TYPICAL NIGERIAN
Why are you asking me why the chicken crossed the road?
Abeg, i don't want wahala o! I am innocent.

UNCLE SEGE
The chicken is so happy with her new GSM and big salary that she crossed the road to vote for me again.

GANI FAWEHINMI
Why won't the chicken cross the road? When there is no light in her house. No fuel in her car! No food in her stomach!
No job to do! Armed robbers are after her eggs, the schools are closed , why won’t it cross to the other side?

CHRIS OKOTIE
The question strikes to a mind a perpendicularity of oblivious occurrences. The rationale for the crawling species of the henfolk for advancing across the broadway to the obvious greener side, portray a phantasmagoric allegory in my homosapious mind, that there is a reason. The metaphoric proposition may be that it is gonna cast its vote for JP and hence justifying its subconscious mind that she has done her civil biddings.

Source: Anon.

Seun, what can I say? The guy is an ass sometimes - a real ass, honest! I want my private messages back - really I do, I almost got the man of my life and Seun went and ruined it all, sniff, sniff,

One word - CRAZY!!!


[b] White-American Woman
o First date: You get to kiss her goodnight.
o Second date: You get to grope all over and make out.
o Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position.
African-American Woman
o First Date: You get to buy her a real expensive dinner.
o Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner.
o Third Date: You get to pay her rent.
o Tenth Date: She's pregnant by someone other than you!
Irish Woman
o First Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
o Second Date: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
o 20th Anniversary: You both get blind drunk and have sex.
Italian Woman
o First Date: You take her to a play and an expensive restaurant.
o Second Date: You meet her parents and her Mom makes spaghetti & meatballs.
o Third Date: You have sex, she wants to marry you & insists on a 3 carat ring.
o 5th Anniversary: You already have 5 kids together & hate the thought of having sex.
o 6th Anniversary: You find yourself a girlfriend.
Jewish Woman
o First Date: You get dynamite head.
o Second Date: You get more great head.
o Third Date: You tell her you'll marry her and never get head again.
Middle Eastern Woman
o First Date: You fill out the mandatory family questionnaire listing all your assets.
o Second Date: You go out to the park with her and her whole family comes along.
o Third Date: She claims she's a virgin and refuses to have sex with you.
o Fourth Date: She makes up for the past ten years of sexual deprivation in one night. You're rushed to a hospital for exhaustion.
Latina Woman
o First Date: You buy her an expensive dinner, get her drunk on Riunite, have sex in the back of her car.
o Second Date: She is pregnant.
o Third Date: Move in with her, her two cousins, her sister's boyfriend and live happily ever after eating rice and beans in the Bronx .
Polish Woman
o First Date: You go to pick her up, and she isn't home. She gave you the wrong address.
o Second Date: You decide to meet at a restaurant. She gets lost getting to the restaurant and then again going home.
o Third Date: She's pregnant. She's not sure if its hers.
Korean Woman
o First date: You get to buy her an expensive dinner but nothing happens.
o Second date: You buy her an even more expensive dinner but nothing happens again.
o Third date: You don't even get to the third date and you have already realized nothing is going to happen.
East-Indian Woman
o First date: Meet her parents.
o Second date: Set the date of the wedding.
o Third date: Wedding night.
Nigerian Women
o Yoruba
+ First date: You take her to an Owambe Party, naturally she does not put on an under wear. You have sex with her standing behind a car in the dark end of the street.
+ Second date: You meet her in a restaurant just ordering a plate of amala and two kpomo, she sees you and orders for salad, chicken, goat meet, turkey, etc. you go to her house and have sex.
+ Third date: She is pregnant, but not too sure who is responsible.
* Ibo
o First date: She tells you about her being the first born of the family, and has twelve others to take care of. She eats and drinks, no sex.
o Second date: Her father is very sick and needs some money for urgent treatment. She shows you enough just to entice you.
o Third date: She has never tried it before, you are going to be the first person; however, she has two kids at home, so promise you will marry me.

Hausa

* First date: Get drunk, eat a lot of suya meat, have sex.
* Second date: get drunk, eat meat, and have sex.
* Third date: Get drunk, have sex; lets get married.

Rivers State

* First date: Where do you work, oil or gas company?, Good, go to club, get drunk, have sex.
* Second date: Pay for house rent, assist in setting up business. Play along, then off to her house, good sea food, and more sex.
* Third date: Informs you of one or two previous kids she has for two different men, and then the big one; she is pregnant for you, consider marriage or my Ijaw brothers will be after you.

Cross Rivers

* First date: Rather you eat at home, makes good delicious Edikankon soup with lots of fishes and meat. Cleans up the house everywhere sparkling even before you are out from the gents. Serves you the food nicely, with a lot of sweet soothing words. Goes to the room, makes the bed and bingo, have sex.
* Second date: All your cloths washed, the house swept, moped, and dusted. Water to wash up after a hard days job Food is ready before you can change from your work cloth. Sweet words of praises, and swap; have an exhausting marathon sex.
* Third date: Cloths washed, house clean as never before, food is ready and served as if in a restaurant, then another exhausting rounds of sex.
* You are the one to now ask, "will you marry me". [/b]

Credit: Anon

Recently I've found my hands reaching only for relationship books off the bookshelves , and surprisingly enough I have come to enjoy how intricately some writers come up with words and quotes describing what really goes on during the battle of the sexes. Have you ever felt something in your relationship and just didn't know how to put it? Well - welcome to (some) of the most knowledgeable quotes ever written by the all-knowing relationship experts, Which number do you like best Add yours if you wish!!!!

1. A man chases a woman until she catches him
2. A woman worries about the future until she gets a husband. A man never worries about the future until he gets a
wife.
3. The definition of a man? A life support system for a penis
4. A Woman needs to know but one man well to understand all men; whereas a man may know all women and not
understand one of them
5. 100% of divorces begin with Marriage
6. The more the nagger nags, the more isolated she becomes
7. Men's brains are mono-tracked. They can't make love and answer questions on why they haven't taken out the
garbage at the same time.
8. A woman usually wants to be heard, not fixed.
9. In heaven, every man has 3 remote controls and all toilet seats are left up.
10. Men dint want to know what's on television, they want to know what else is on television.
11. Men dint get lost - they simply discover alternative destinations.
12. Moses wondered in the desert for 40 years, he wouldn't ask for directions either.
13. Why does it take 4 million male sperms to find a fertilized egg? Not one wants to ask for directions.
14. For a man, one pair of shoes, one suit and a couple of shirts will last for many seasons. The same hairstyle endures
for years, perhaps decades. And even better, is wallet, as a consequence, will last far longer too.
15. A woman will dress carefully according to the weather, the season, fashion, her own coloring, where she is going,
how she feels about herself that day, who she's seeing, what she'll be doing. A man merely performs the sniff test on
a piece of clothing he's left lying over the arm of a chair.
16. We always hold hands, if I let go, she shops.
17. What can you tell from a well-dressed man? His wife is good at picking out his clothes.
18. men will use a well-planned, direct approach to get what they want. Women prefer emotional blackmail.
19. All men are the same. They just have different faces so you can tell them apart (Marilyn Monroe)
20. A man equates being given advice by a woman as saying he is wrong and that she doesn't trust him.
21. The only difference between men and boys is the price of their toys.
22. Men can feel overcome by emotion when watching sport but seldom in an emotional relationship.
23. "My wife said if I didn't stop being so obsessed with Manchester United, she'd leave me. I'm really going to miss her."
24. Adam and Eve were the happiest and the luckiest couple in the world because neither of them had a mother-in-law.
25. Men's brains are solution-oriented, Women's brains are process-oriented
26. Men prefer looks to brains because most men can see better than they can think.
27. A woman's face is a canvas upon which daily, she paints a portrait of her former self. (Picasso)
28. The only fashion shows many men will actively enjoy are swimsuit parades.
29. DO NOT read women's magazines, they will only make you feel ugly
30. Sexual attractiveness in 50% what you've got and 50% what others think you've got (Zsa Zsa Gabor)
31. When a man sees a naked woman, he becomes dumbstruck. When a woman sees a naked man, she usually bursts
into laughter.
32. People say they love the truth, but in reality they want to believe that which they love is true. (Robert Ringer)
33. A woman will lie to make you feel good. A man lies to make himself look good.
34. The number one question men ask that makes women lie: 'How was I?'
35. The truth will set you free, but first it will piss you off. (Mal Pancoast)
36. What's the difference between lying to the taxman and lying to your wife? If you get caught, the taxman still wants
to screw you.
37. Men value accomplishments, women value relationships
38. The young man was terrified about the first time he'd have sex with his girlfriend as he was sure his penis was too
small. Eventually, he realized he couldn't put it off forever, and nervously asker her back to his place. Tentatively, he
began to take off his clothes, then turned the lights down low. Nervously, he finally put his erection in her hand and
hoped that she might not notice its size. "No thanks," she said, "I don't smoke."
39. A man's body symmetry is more important to a woman than his facial symmetry - which is why champion boxers can
still often attract beautiful women.
40. There are two theories to arguing with women. Neither one works. (Rodney Dangerfield)

So - there you go - credit for the rest of the quotes go to Steve Nakamoto and Allan and Barbara Pease, ENJOY!

this is absolutely freaking FANTABULOUS!!!! AWESOME! but give credit where it is due men

aslo - one rotten egg in a basket doesnt really mean all the rest are rotten no matter what they say -

i love Nigerians

I just do!

tried to check and see for myself but it gives an error message 'This account has exceeded it's bandwidth quota and has been temporarily disabled'. i would have thought the organisers of an event of such magnitude will be able to afford more bandwidth quota just for the sake of publicity no? Need some tips from Tiara Banks I suppose,