₦airaland Forum

No way, it could be bacterial infection and then your pingpong will get infected then you won't be able to use it at all. tradgic

OP I live in London and am white married to yoruba.
I disagree because I have seen much more recently white males with black women and it is much more commonplace now.
Also remember (gonna get shot here) that actually the most sucessful black men usually marry Nigerians.
I come from a middleclass family as does my husband. He was born in the UK actually but spent education years in Nigeria. If you look around you there are a lot more mixed race kids from poorer white backgrounds and the reason for this is that a lot of Nigerian men will take a vulnerble young white and lare her in with his charms.
What happens next? He wants her to go back to Nigeria and marry him in some church not do it here because many of them are just looking for visas and documents.
I am wary of any male who doesnt have proper up to date docs and passport and is dating a white girl because sadly this is what happens very often. ( and I have a few friends who this has happened to)
The women they tend to date usually have some kind of mental health issues (ok I get shot here!!) are depressed or have problems with family ect, they chose these women because these women are looking to be cherished and spoilt and that is what these men play on.

I am not saying they can't have normal relationships with whites or it isn't love ect but you get my point?
I find yorubas especially tend to keep marriages within their tradition.

Also many African women meet their partners in or through church /mosque ect(and you know how many people go to church here!) whereas maybe african men tend to go out playing more?
What do you think?

;DAgree with mac, I think there is a reason for our feelings. Unless people have been brainwashed with ideas which does happen.
I kind of agree that if one race came over here and took all our lovely English men Women would be quite pissed off, I guess that is only natural. But how many whites really live with their families in Nigeria and bring up their kids there? Not many. The 'results' of this interbreeding are usually confined to western countries no?
Surely if you go to another country to live, there is a high chance you will meet someone from that country.
If I came to live in Nigeria and wouldn't date any black men and just kept looking for a white man that would be a bit weird too wouldn't it?
...........and then I would be called something else because I wouldn't date a black man. We really can't win can we?
Once you have been together for a while or are married, skin colour doesn't even come into the mind, unl;ess someone else points it out.
I am much more concerned about his snoring tbh.

My daughter had very bad eczema as a baby and we went through cream after cream. Finally got so bad and infected ended up in hospital where she saw a dermo who prescribed her Eumovate( a steroid cream which is stronger than Hydrocort). It was the only thing that helped and has finally cleared it up. We even went as strong as Elecon on some occasions when it got really bad.
Dermos advice was to get it under control and yes it is strong stuff but it wouldnt harm in the lont term and some steroid cream is far better than horrid infected eczema.
But I'm in the UK
She also had allergies and still has to some along with asthma attacks but she is is steadily growing out of these.

Epiderm is another good one as is oilatum if it is not too bad.

It won't be recognised in the USA anyway and I would ask her not to register it yet even if she can. Are you sure he didn't do this little marriage intentionally? Most Nigerian men who want to be married surely know that this little arrangement wouldn't suffice?
This sounds like a very familiar story. Be careful!
Does the guy have documents in the USA and does he have his proper passport? (even if he has shown her one)
Please make sure you find all that info out before taking further steps in this 'marriage'
Not trying to steal her joy or anything but why don't they get married properly in the USA as well?
You have to have been in Nigeria before the proper wedding takes place as well (is it at least 3/4 weeks?)


It also means that because the marriage is not recognised nor will a divorce be recognised in any eventuality.
If Nigerian law does not recognise it or USA law doesn't then I would smell something dodgy there.
Has the woman met his family?

As above poster said, Inner London schools are something to be desired. I dread sending my children to one.
There is no discipline whatsoever. A teacher cannot touch a student yet a student may shout abuse at a teacher. They are brought up in threatening environments, some in poorer neighbourhoods where being in a gang is a kind of protection I guess. Parents cannot do much either. Kids rule the adults here.
I think many poeple come here to the UK imagining a bed of roses compared to their home countries but it can be far from the truth. If you don't have a good education or degree at least it can be very difficult to get any job. Many as well are here on false documents so they have little choice about jobs or showing their real identity.
Drugs of course goes hand in hand, its a way of making money for those who can't get money otherwise.

I agree with the above poster, I wish I could send my children to Nigeria for a few years to learn something else!

What happened to better or for worse?
I am English and it saddens me when this kind of thing happens here. You need to know how it all works or you will get sucked up and chewed out. It happens so often when people move abroad, suddenly they have things at their disposal they havent have before and I think sometimes going into a materialistic society such as ours is harder to deal with than the other way around.
I believe the man should be the main breadwinner or he loses his pride,self identity and respect.Maybe this has happened here?
If you are going to move abroad take your heart,your conscience and your dignity with you.

STUDIED FOUL, just an other Babay Mama with no Baba leaving on Benefits and we (the british taxpayer) have to pay for her housing, her food and her cloths and even if she can up hold her job, we have to pay for her child care via Working Tax and Child Tax Credit!
Wait and See, the Conversative Party will sure you pepper! And I am not sorry for you! Only for you child!

IS THIS POSTING FOR REAL OR JUST A MEN TOSSING ABOUT.

I CAN NOT BELEAVE IT!

You are spot on girl!

Oh thankyou Olowotee Think I was getting more stressed out with the kids and trying to type here at the same time
I'm not very good at putting across my words well anyway and then end up rambling on when in fact I am thinking out aloud. Then sometimes I end up thinking something totally different at the end

Thats very true Nene. I agree. I just wanted to highlight that racism exists in every place even sometimes in our own countries among our own people. Europe is still a divided constitution. When I was taking about ethnic minorities and mixing in up thread I was referring also to some European people who come and don't speak any English, or bother to intergrate like other peoples. Most of the time nowdays English resentment is aimed at our European neighbours who beacuse they are in Europe have pretty much the same rights and benefits as English people do whether they work or not. Although we have a high number of illegal immigrants here also from Africa and elsewhere, The Africans who do come over here are often in the medical profession, education ect and hold some of the top jobs - They are smart and get where they want to and generally do extremely well. I find that in general these africans tend to keep to marrying partners of their own though and if they do intermarry then they would want you to participate as much as possible in the yoruba tradition. (usually the yoruba families I think)
I think it's possibly the igbo's who tend to intermarry into poorer white families or at least have kids with them without marrying them. forgive me if I'm wrong here please.

C FOURS - My grandmother is Jewish and married an English man, she was non practising. That makes my Father Jewish by birth (matriachal) She was a Russain/polish Jew caught up in the SWW
My sister converted to Judaism (which took a very long time) She was NOT Jewish by birth as MY mum is not Jewish and married a Jewish husband and they both now live in Israel.
Don't be so rude when you have no idea yourself or where I come from. Where do YOU come from? Do you even know about your history?

I can't be bothered with this stuff really, you have made your point and obviously feeling very inadequate with yourselves. If some of you are worried about Nigerian men running off with foreign woman could it not be yourselves that are to blame?

they are no longer as influential as they were in the past because they have assimilated and blend in with the whites for the most part.

................

In Numbers 12:1, Moses is recorded as having married a non-Israelite woman who presumably followed a different religion. Aaron and Miriam criticized Moses because of this. God supported Moses' decision. He punished Miriam by making her leprous.

Matthew 1:5: This passage refers, without comment, to the marriage of Salmon, a Jew, and Rahab, a Canaanite. Their great-great grandchild was King David.


Jews were prohibited back then because of the RELIGION not because of race, creed or colour. The Torah is quite specific that a Jew should not marry a non Jew nothing about a white Jew marrying a black Jew.

Jews come from all over the world, they are different in that they do not have one set race between them so comapring them to Nigeria is not quite the same. An English Jew who marries and English Jew would bear little effect on the financial stability of Israel unless the two went to live there. They are a diaspora, scattered around the globe. They may help with Jewish projects in Israel but generally their wealth would be kept within the immediate family.

Speaking of wealth, do not most Nigerians abroad send home to family and friends in Nigeria? probably MORE than they might earn in Nigeria. I know my husband does and he is not even close to his family. Would I ever stop him? Of course not, that is his duty. If I were married to another white person we wouldn't have to worry about sending money home and people asking us to send it would we, so actually we are no better off, in fact it is the families of Nigerians abroad regardless of who they are married to that are better off altogether.
Maybe it is the emphasis on financial gain and pressure on Nigerians to show financial stability that doesn't help the situation. Rules, family name, status, finances - so much boils down to just that (not mentioning keeping the mother in law happy ) that I sometimes wonder where love is in all of this.
Of course these are all good things to keep our communities moving, but blaming whites for the problem is not going to make things better over there. Some of you are racist towards your own people and yet you blame the outside community for their racism in the past. Many of you bring in poor girls from the village to work for you and bring up your children do you not? Beating them when they don't do things right? You may not see this as a form of your past but in fact some of you are doing the same to your own people.
If you cannot live in harmony beside each other and treat everyone as equal there is no way you would do so to other races.
I don't see much change in Nigeria since the percentage of nigerians has apparently gone up?

If some of you come and post on a public forum about this kind of thing, it shows how offended you are about members of your race deferring. God knows how possessive you might be in a relationship.
If you were in happy sucessful relationships yourselves, I am sure you would not have the time to poke your noses into other people's, in fact more than likely you would be impartial, even happy for others who have the same joy and fufillment in their lives.
This post stinks of resentment.
I don't care what you call the way you speak about 'whites' but if I would talking about black people the way you are whites I would be called a racist. regardless of our past or present, it spurs hatred and that my friends will spill into your personal lives and relationships because it comes from the heart.

In conclusion, There are mixed race marriages all over the globe. White women don't just marry with Nigerians or Africans you know. Plenty are married to Asians, other europeans,Americans,Australasians and indians. You name it.
We all know that many Nigerians come here and marry whites for visa purposes and papers. AND belive you me so do Nigerian women. I often see a young black,pretty african woman with an old man and although I shouldn't judge it don't seem right to me. But there are also plenty of proffessional, well earning and well meaning people who get married out of their race and lead perfectly sucessful lives and marriages.
There are beautiful, smart, intelligent women in every race, including Nigerians so get used to it!
Sometimes beauty, intelligence and meeting the opposite sex is not enough to make a marriage work.
There will always be racist tendancies in any community towards some people or another. That doesnt mean every individual is racist.
Thank God there are some people on here who can see in another light and are not blinded by what they have been told or feel.
You can fault white women and society as much as you like but you can take the good and leave the bad if you want.
The things we might call illegal you might call acceptable and vice versa.


I hope you don't take any of this personally but you guys really have ruffled my skin as have some other posts on here. I'm clearly in the wrong place, ended up here through an internet search question yesterday and look where it has got me.

I don't think I or my generation can take responsibility for the past in which we had no dealings with, the same goes for anyone else. You are just breeding a new form of dressed up racial slur. Good luck to you guys because its really changed my attitude towards some things now.

But surely no painkiller would totally numb the pain, it just lessens it. You would still feel the baby coming, unless on epidural or general/local and you would still feel the urge to push? no

I'm in UK so its normal here but I actually didn't want him there second time around. I actually found it easier on my own. Its a strange thing is childbirth and although you want your husband to be the first to see the child etc, I felt totally detached from him during my labour. I felt closer to the midwife who was helping me. Is it a female thing? I don't know really.
I also made him sit up top at the first one because I didn't want him seeing all the stuff down there. I was embarrassed and felt kind of uncomfortable him seeing me in such a state which only made the labour worse as I couldn't relax. Luckily second time labour was really quick and he had popped out to get some chocolate when the baby appeared!

Micheline - I read the Michael odent thing and I think I agree with him on many points there. Even though he is a male and has never been through it himself!

Men can satisfy women by making sure she is the spple of his eye and keeping his eyes on the apple.
Also once a woman has accepted the man warts and all for who he is and what he is. If she can't do this she will never be happy because she will always be thinking the grass is greener on the other side.

ah ok mac, Have to say when I was in Nigeria everyone was very good to me as have my husband's family been. We are both lucky we have both very good families like this behind us. I think its just lack of understanding really and people adhering too much to steriotypes of the western woman and way of life.

It's up to the individual to decern what someone wants out of a relationship or marriage for that matter just as it would apply in relationships of the same race.
Anyway I should have read the whole thread before barging in.
I still find it hard to undersstand though Nene, why you would want to go live in another country and not take anything out of the experience other than qualifications or funds. That baffles me. I learnt so much from travelling and living abroad - In fact it is what made me me today. I am always thankful for those times, even though I may not have agreed with all the ways of the culture. It hasn't changed thend fact that I am essentially English, just my perspective on life.

Family is a great thing until it becomes a burden.

[quote][/quote]Oh and one poster said whites don't care who their children marry? Really? With the exception of poor whites, you think elite white families like the Trumps, Johnson & Johnson, Ford, Rockefeller, the Royal family n England would not bat an eye if one of their children decides to marry a black person? Seriously? They would want their children to marry another wealthy WHITE person.

Maybe true amongst the elite but does not apply just to the poor. I know many wealthy, professional whites who married interracially.

You can blame western women for stealing black men or black men for forsaking their culture, but the reasons behind a mixed race relationship are usually far more simple than you try to make out. (apart from the marriage for visa and documents people which is another subject)
When I see a western man with a woman of another race, I honestly don't bat an eyelid, its their choice, they have their own reasons and personal choices - its really non of my business!
and My brother has just got married to an indionesian woman with very dark skin

Right, am going to stop waffling before I get bashed

Its not all flipping WHITE PEOPLE. How about I say the same about all blacks?
No because I know damm well that not all blacks are the same and some have some common sense inside their heads to realise that white people are all different too.
These comments are so irritating to me. Its only since I recently came on this forum I have realised how small minded some of you people are. Its shocking. How ignorant of you to assume all white women are fat and don't respect marriage and all the rest - you need some more learning if you call yourself a Dr. A Dr of what excatly?!!
You seem to think an awful lot of yourself too ! Maybe you only got interest from clinically obese women because you are plain ugly?

@ mac Thanks. I'm glad that there are some people like yourself who can see things in another light. We need to get rid of the skin colour way of thinking whilst retaining our respective cultures but that doesnt mean that two cultures cannot come together. To me its kind of like a sign of peace and changing of attitudes. I don't know how my children will be accepted when they are older. They are still very young, I do worry though sometimes about taking them out of the mulitcultural metropolis that is London and into an all white or black community but I can only teach them to stand up for themselves and help them understand the best of both worlds. Am sure they are going to encounter this way of thinking at some stage and I know that will make me and my husband sad when it does.

I'm suprised you live in the US. Nothing wrong with you taking new skills and money back home, I would support that but why try and start up some kind of thinking like this in a foreign country - this is when people get irritated and angry, YOU are an example of your people, a reflection on your own country and this is what you want people to learn about Nigerians?
I really hope that the next generation will not have views like this and pray that parents will see sense and not believe all they are told but go and see for themselves.
Here in the UK black africans are generally the most accepted people because they partake of the community and learn to live in it side by side with white culture whilst retaining in some way their own identity. Some other minorities however are not seen in such a good light because they come over and just keep themselves to themselves which creates scepticism and fear of the unknown.
You are talking back about the history. No one will and blacks rightly so ever forget the tragedy of the slave trade and how awful whites were to blacks.
I come from part Jewish family, my grandad killed by germans in 2nd world war. My grandma hates the germans. Should I hate germans?
No, because a new generation has arisen, has been forgiven and has vowed that this should never happen again.
We accept this because we do not want to carry this burden on for generations and generations because of the damage it did.

You think you will stay bottom of the barrel people? Well thats the way you see it and I don't think your views are gonna help get you feel any different. You are stuck way back in time and bear a grudge in relation to your ancestors.
I don't know about in the US. I know some of it is still quite racist, but here in the UK ethnic minorities have the upper hand. There is no way we would be allowed to speak openly as some of you have done in this forum about blacks. It would be reported as racist. Its not English people who hold the top jobs, positions and houses here in the UK, We can't afford to.

[quote author=Latrice699@gmail.com]The white women pay been paying for years...[/quote]...and you know it? !! How naive you are.

OH Yes NEW ALERT: ALL WHITE FAT WOMEN marry handsome Nigerian guys.
Get a grip you lot.
SOME white fat women marry handsome Nigerian guys and....
SOME nice slim white women marry UGLY Nigerian guys.
Because all white women who date black guys are ugly, fat, drug taking drinking whores...................
There are a few of us who are not obese, educated, refined and family orientated white ladies who marry Nigerian men because we love them.


' true shi*t. I hate it when I see fit young and gud looking black male with fat junkie white. Especial jamaicans and yoruba,edo or benin,ibo boys dis shameless people have breed all d ugly white trash in uk.'

Shame on you for writing like that @ above poster. You mindless, brainwashed individual.

I don't know where the theory comes from either. I have a large white arse too like an above poster, although am not obese, I sure don;t have a pancake arse nor pancakes for supper. Ok if I had millions I might change a few things, but married with kids and am quite happy me just being me. There are beautiful girls in EVERY race. White, black, asian....maybe its YOU OP who fails to realise that and is just looking for some confirmation to supress your insecurities?

Nene,
I do understand where you are coming from in some way. we all want to keep our culture and our people, our history and our generational sucesses. It's a safe haven, our security and what we know. It is only when you step outside the box that you begin to understand that other communities have just as much to give as you can take away. That you begin to realise that there is life beyond home. Reading your posts you do seem quite ill informed about other cultures though do seem to be pulling on hear say and steriotypes to build your argument.
What if I believed all the Nigerian steriotypes I hear here in the uk? Believe me if I was so small minded I would NEVER have married a Nigerian man.
I love culture, languages, everything that brings me new understanding and new learning. Being part of a mixed race family has only enriched my life, even though I am still British, and he still Nigerian.

Wow, I have only read the one post. I find that OP quite disturbing. I am married to a Nigerian and have mixed race kids. My husband has a very balanced mentality when it comes to things British and Nigerian - that is what our marriage work. What makes it hard is the lack of knowledge, the steriotypes and the nonsense that comes out from family members who have no idea what they are talking about regarding mixed relationships NOW. We are NOT living in the past are we? We can't change those feelings that our ancestors have bore upon us, But you can stand up to change it.I have lived in Nigeria and other countries, I know where my husband comes from, his culture and upbringing. I want my children to reflect that too in their heriatage. Its a shame some people on here are so upset by certain types of LOVE - who are you to say that inter reacial relationships are not based on love?
In fact it is a hell of a lot harder than in a normal relationship because of all the rubbish that people spew to try and make it harder for you.
And above poster - I can assure you that my husband does not ahve any inferiority complex.

For those talking of money. Again its very often rubbish. You see a white person and think they have money?! Anyone who has any sense knows fulls well that we don't all have millions stored away in banks and live in grand houses. Most of us married to black men FOR LOVE are simple HOUSEWIVES with kids, with no savings and our husbands earn our keep. YES sound familiar - we are very similar arent we?!
My husband is the one who had the savings, the good job and the sucess when we met as were most of the mixed race marriages I know of.

And your 'values' you talk of?
Yes I grew up in a very strict christain family with 5 kids. Our values much the same as your own. When it comes to divorce I have realised that actually the rate of Nigerian divorce is actually quite high. Now I wonder why this is when we are so different because of skin colour or that your own culture is so seemingly superior to ours in our morals stances?
Thing about morals is guys, is that we have different morals, not that they do or don't exist. What we deem as immoral might be deemed acceptable to yourselves and vice versa. Christians and Muslims alike should know what those stand on.

Its not to do with what you talk of - its about you heriatage and keeping it clean, not defiling it with another colour. Now this again sounds familiar. Dangerous. I am glad you can be open and honest with your views over there in Nigeria. Here in the UK we would keep those kinds of comments to ourselves even though we are trying to eradicate such ways of thinking.
No white woman or man for that matter is going to say 'drop your Nigerian identity' for me. If they are in a loving relationship, they will encourage them to keep and admire it as part of their heiratage.

Here in London, I would say there as just as many black women married to white men as vice versa, I do not think this is a male 'problem'
Nigerian and other black women are seen much more frequently now in mixed race relationships.

and imo whatever the gift it should be appreciated and thanks said. I prefer material things that might help in the house ect but I am very appreciative when my husband buys other things, sometimes flowers. Recieving is not just about yourself but about making the giver feel respected and loved as well. It would take some pretty selfish person to throw any present back in the givers face - even if they didn't like it.

For those of you claiming to know why white girls like flowers, it's a load of rubbish. Some do and some don't, just like you guys. They don't do that much for me, Yet another girl might be overwhelmed by them. It does not depend either on if I grew up in the countryside or on a sidewalk in London or a street in Lagos.
.....'However, if you give a white girl only flower on a birthday when you have money to get her a good gift, she will consider another bloke on the side.' what a load of rubbish! ! It really annoys me how this kind of junk goes around. How many white girls have you dated that have done this? As in every country you have your different kinds of people. Are all white girls the same? That is like me saying all Nigerian girls are the same (and I know full well they are not) It annoys me how gullable some of you guys are sometimes. Stop listening to steriotypes and get some real life experiences from people who have some idea.