Hmmmmmmm, In my opinion the best thing you could do is to file for divorce and move on.
He already started seeing another woman and he`s taking an advantage of you. He obviously does not love nor respect you.
You don`t deserved to be treated like that. I
seriously wonder why this guy moved abroad and married & had a child with a foreigner ( perhaps for papers )

Good luck!

gentledove:

i have heard also of baby that another foetus was found inside of her. wonders shall never end.

That`s not a " wonder " , that`s called " Fetus in fetu "  Very rare though.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fetus_in_fetu

GETLUST:


SEUN AND CO NEED TO CREATE A PSYCHIATRIC SECTION WEY GO DEY CHECK POSTERS MENTAL STATE OF HEALTH BEFORE them GO POST TOPICS FOR NAIRALAND.


CHIKENA.

ROFLMAO!

Advising her to try as much as she can to avoid from doing this wrong is not the sollution.
It`s not good if you have to walk on eggshels.
Because some people cannot help it that they are a lil bit clumbsy.
I`m also that kind of person. I can be doing 20 different things and forget 1 thing or accidently drop something.
Hubbs not happy about it and yes, he can nag ( uhmm he`s a perfectionist ) too. What i always do is take a deep breath and ignore the nagging or i ask him if he never accidently dropped a plate or forgot to close the gate.

bullocks! I`m white but i don`t go to tanningsaloons , neither does any of my friends and family go to those saloons.
We`re happy the way we are!

and NOT all black people bleach and straighten their hair,

So, because you are active in the church , bake cake for them and visit them that makes you an expert on Nigerian men and their relationship with women??
It`s okay to discuss about different cultures but what you do is generalizing.

I have been to Nigeria 3 times and stayed up to 5 months , still i believe i have a lot to learn about the culture.
And so far majority of the Nigerian men we know are not like the men described in that article.

I guess i married Mr perfect
He can cook , clean , do the laundry and he`s a great father for our 2 year old daughter.
I don`t have to ask him to help me out in the household & he`s always been like that.
In fact , most of the men in his family help their wives , it`s some of the wives who are very lazy. One of the men works 6 ( sometimes 7 days & in shifts ) a week, still he helps out with some of the housework while madam sits at home and complaints it`s difficult been a stay at home mum.

onyinye I have two words : DOUBLE STANDARDS! What if the husband has had a bad week? Does he have a reason then to slap his wife?
`C mon a grown woman will tell her husband what`s worrying her . There`s no EXCUSE for someone , man or woman , to slap his/her wife/husband.
I think the wife of TS deserves a second chance , but i think if she does it again he better divorce her or seek counselling.

Simi : There`s nothing wrong with defending your opinion , however you can do that without calling people names.

2 : No i didn`t discover africa. It only takes a lil common sense and some historybooks or google LOL to discover that different groups of people with different religions/cultures/customs have been changing over centuries.

Well, so because those Nigerian friends agree with you that means the article or what you believe or heard is correct?
NO wonder the agree with you , who wouldn`t get tired of arguing the same issues over and over again with someone who only knows how to throw insults if you don`t agree with her??!!!!



As for culture and customs : They CAN change & evolve!!

And please , stop calling people insane , stupid ,bastards , etc etc It`s very bad .
you do know a lot of DIRTY WORDS For someone who says English is not her first language ,

To be honest , that your boyfriend didn`t stand up for you immediately should be enough reason to RUN!
Don`t forget , Nigerians are very family oriented and you`re in BIG trouble if mama doesn`t like you.
I hope you`ll be able to go trough all this, because it won`t be easy!

Leilah:

Thats true in a way justgood. See the western men know the women wont put up with that so they cover it up better.

Are you sure about that? Cause many western women DO put up with that crap and forvive their bf/husband more than 1 time.
I think it`s ( generally speaking ) in women to have a forgiving spirit, Wether she acts like she truly forgive him , well that`s another story!

Queen ; I agree with you!

SimiBrasil:

monatoetje

You didnt answer my question. Are you JustDumb sister ?
The Queen of Bullshit ooo
Y don't make 1 gol !
Since when I interested about prof something about Brasil ? I have already said, do you want talk about Brazil, open a thread.
I am looking for a healthy discussion and international interchange and learning, but some bastards come out from bush during the way/journay, and obligated ourselves to be rude with words, but the focus was not that.

Right, Thank God you are not rude & you don`t participate in all the name calling  

You call that courage? It doesn`t take a lot of courage to talk crap on the internet LOL Lady , to me you are nothing but a troublemaker. You`re not posting these threads to discuss about issues that interest you. You`re ONLY  looking for a way to bash people from other groups, to make you feel better about yourself and your country people.

KarmaMod:

It is very relevant. You are making excuses now so I'm going to ignore your rants. They did something bacause of the backlash. If you sincerely think that's something to be proud of, that's your own cup of tea. The fact that the whole world had to intervene before the govt FINALLY did something is embarrassing to ME as a Nigerian.

and I never said you put devout Christian, I said you put it in bold implying that it was important therefore I have the right to pick it apart which I did.

Is English your first language because it seems like many people are having trouble understanding things.

No, English is not my first language. I always prefer to make an entire sentence bolded.

Why would you feel embarassed about it?? Of course it is not good, but there have been a lot of scandals and fraud in the west as well, so i see no reason why you should feel embarassed about this.

SimiBrasil:

monatoetje

Sometimes, the order of the facts afects the results

"that a governer and the president from Nigeria did something, wether it was before or after the pressure from the west - is TOTALLY irrelevant."

No, is not irrelevant. If the case were not well know maybe the women d die , more one, and no one would notice her absence for lack of information.
I have already heard about jungle justice in Nigerian

Now, y are saying it is irrelevant for don't loose your proud! Smart Girl

Then , why don`t you STOP talking to those bushpeople and stick to your own " smart " people
Apparently , " we " are not from the same class!

Seriously, you sound like a typichal angry/bittered white woman who had 1 bad experience or heard 1 story about some bad Nigerians, Won`t surprise me if you believe that Nigerians still live in huts LOL

SimiBrasil:

monatoetje


STOP LIE ! IT IS UGLY
COPY AND PASTE THE SENTENCE I WROTE THAT ? Are you JustDumb sistah ?
I talked about the population and not the goverment, but even the governement JUST HELP THE WOMEN BECAUSE INTERNATIONAL PRESSURE.

It is written in the bbc article too. The link y just sent us.

"Come up with a better excuse. That was pathetic."

Not a lie, you wrote that on the same page , dummy!


[b]Quote from Simi on page 9 [/b]REMEMBER ALL, IF WE, FOREIGNS HAVE NOT FIGHT FOR SAFIYA HUSSAINI LIFE / AMINA LAWAL ??, she/they would be death on this exclatly moment.

It doens't matter which part of Nigerian it had happened, the fact is IT HAPPENED WITH A NAIJA WOMAN, I don't care about her religion. You nigerians , from the rest of Nigeria were suppossed to fight for life and "not" the international community.

KarmaMod:

what is not the point? Please stop embarrassing yourself with the lame excuses. First off its good "Samaritans", secondly the whole thing about Obasanjo IS relevant because you felt the need to put "being a devout Christian" in bold so yes I'm going to comment on that. Finally, they didnt do ANYTHING UNTIL it became an international spectacle

Is that what you are proud of? the fact that it's when people started protesting around the globe that government finally decided to do something? Even then, til now the practice STILL continues so what difference did it really make?

Once again, come up with something better. Thanks.

Again, Obasanjo`s personal live has nothing to do with this the convinction of these 2 women.
Secondly , i did not put " devout Christian " the journalist from BBC did LOL  Simi claimed it was ONLY the WEST who did something , fact is : that a governer and the president from Nigeria did  something, wether it was before or after the pressure from the west - is  TOTALLY irrelevant.

KarmaMod:

Lmao @ Obasanjo being a devout Christian

is this the same Christian with numerous wives? The one linked to sleeping with his daughter in law?

the one who ONLY intervened on this woman because the whole world complained and they stopped Miss World from taking place there. It was even on Oprah. It would have been stupid for him NOT to intervene. How about abolishing that whole barbaric Sharia act all together, maybe then people would have taken the decision seriously

Come up with a better excuse. That was pathetic.

Uhmmm, that`s not the point. The point is that Simibrasil claims that while the good Samirants from the West were fighting to free those poor women , the Nigerian president & the Nigerians were just doing nothing,
The report proves otherwise.
How many wives Obasanjo has , wether he`s a devoted Christian or not and if he slept with his daughter in law has totally irrelevant .

Source : http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/africa/1891395.stm

Sharia court frees Nigerian woman


An international campaign backed Safiya (bottom right)

A Sharia court in Nigeria has upheld the appeal of a Muslim woman who had been convicted of adultery under Islamic law and sentenced to death by stoning.


Others have committed worse crimes, but because they are men and because they have influence in high places, they are not punished

Safiya Husaini 
Safiya Husaini won her case after the court in the northern town of Sokoto said the original ruling was unsound.

But as the verdict was announced, it emerged that a second woman has been sentenced to death by stoning for adultery.

A Sharia court at Bakori in Katsina State sentenced Amina Lawal to die after she confessed to having had a child while divorced.

International attention

In the courtroom in Sokoto, Safiya, smiling broadly, was surrounded by the world's media as she held her one-year-old daughter in her arms.

It was the conception of Safiya's child out of wedlock that had been proof enough at the first trial of her adultery.


Click here for a map of Sharia states


But in Monday's ruling, judge Mohammed Tambari-Uthman said that because the alleged act had taken place before adultery became a criminal offence under Islamic law, her case should be dismissed.

"The first court,  that convicted her did not follow the appropriate procedure. The police report also did not give all the necessary information related to the offence," he said.

The BBC Lagos correspondent Dan Isaacs says the ruling will be welcomed by human rights groups around the world.

Eye-witnesses

Anti-adultery laws, however, remain on the statute books in 12 northern Nigerian states, which have reintroduced Sharia law in the past two years.


Thieves risk having their hands cut off

Under Islamic law as practised in northern Nigeria, pregnancy outside marriage is sufficient evidence to convict a woman.

In contrast, four eye-witnesses are required for a man to be found guilty of adultery.

The man named by Ms Lawal as the father of her baby girl admitted they had a relationship but denied having had sex with her.

Charges against him were dropped after no witnesses came forward.

Ms Lawal now has 30 days to appeal against the sentence or she faces being stoned in eight months' time - when she has finished breast-feeding her daughter.

Politicians

Federal Justice Minister Kanu Agabi last week made public a letter he had written to the governors of the northern states, advising them to "take measures to amend or modify the jurisdiction of the courts imposing these punishments".


He said Muslims should not be subjected to more severe punishments than other Nigerians.

He added that he was receiving hundreds of letters every day, protesting against the discriminatory punishments imposed by some Sharia courts.

Under Sharia law, a few convicted thieves have had their hands amputated, while those found guilty of drinking alcohol have been flogged in public.

Nigerian President Olusegun Obasanjo - himself a devout Christian - had personally intervened in the case of Safiya Husaini, calling for her acquittal.

The reintroduction of Sharia has sparked religious riots between Muslims and Christians in many states, leaving thousands of people dead.

Some analysts feel the issue is being exploited by politicians ahead of general elections due early next year.
-----------------------------------------------------

@ Simibrasil : you were saying again?l

SimiBrasil:

monatoetje

It doens't matter which part of Nigerian it had happened, the fact is IT HAPPENED WITH A NAIJA WOMAN, I don't care about her religion. You nigerians , from the rest of Nigeria were suppossed to fight for life and "not" the international community.

Some people there think they re God to judge/guilty someone to death because no sense reasons.

I live in São Paulo, but when bullshit happen in others city (inside Brasil) the population get involved anyway.

So I don't think I am going to far, I am too close.

In that case i was  expecting more understanding on how it feels when an entire population is being generalized based on what happened to 2 women.
Religion does not matter BUT the culture and practises of that part  do, like i said earlier " we are all PRODUCTS of our upbringing "  .  in some parts of the world some groups still believe that whoever commits adultery should be stoned.
Backwards? YES ! but you cannot hold the rest of the country responsible for these acts! That`s simply wrong and in fact , tells us MORE about the person WHO SAYS it than the people he/she is talking about!

Ps : Although i am not born in Nigeria, in fact : i don`t have any African blood running trough my veins , i will still take that as a compliment that you called me a Nigerian!

SimiBrasil:

" Is absolutely ridiculous a brazilian woman talk bullshit about our country"

"western values"

REMEMBER ALL, IF WE, FOREIGNS HAVE NOT FIGHT FOR SAFIYA HUSSAINI LIFE / AMINA LAWAL ??, she/they would be death on this exclatly moment.

The cousin who bleeped her and is married with 2 women went to the court and became FREE
AND SHE, SHE DESERVES TO DIE ?

Oh my Godness, and it doenst happened 100 years ago, it happened "yesterday" !

Simi , i think you are going to far now.
So, only in Nigeria women are held hostage  by their men and family`s to be used as slaves?
Please , let`s not forget that Amina & Safiya were  born in the North of Nigeria, which is mostly islamic. They still live under Sharian law ,which  is different from the rest of Nigeria.

funny to hear that Nigerians don`t like salads. When we go to Nigerian parties they always have salads ( WITHOUT MEAT or CHICKEN! ) and everyone eats from it,

JustGood:

Yep. That's what makes the Nigerian lady unique and that's why Nigerian men always want to have naija ladies.
The only thing some people have in life to show is that they have been outside the country so they want to try and make Nigerians feel that they have learnt things that are better than what nigerians practice; so they will say and do anything just to denigrate what obtains in Nigeria.

Any woman who is unable to settle down in life has no business advising other women. How can a failure advise people on how to be successful?

unique? So you`re saying that majority of Non Nigerian women don`t show respect?

I do think that it is easier to be married to someone who shares similar background/culture, but i totally disagree in terms of " Respect " That term is been used to often by people who do not even know what " respect " means,