JamesVIIILegend:
OPEN LETTER TO MTN from a Common Customer

Dear Network,
I would like to appreciate you for all these years I have used your network to call, send texts and browse the internet. Though I paid for them, I still like to thank you for making it possible. I am writing this letter to you in the light of so many things I and my friends have suffered in your hands. And since calling your customer care is like pouring water in a basket, I will just write this letter with the hope that some people that matter will address this matter from this living matter.
Firstly, I will like to tell you about your customer representatives who I believe you pay an ample amount of money to attend to us; the customers. I will like to expose them right now. Because I choose not to believe you are aware of the advice and directions these people give. In all my seven years of using your line, I have only come across a single call care agent who really did something about my complaint. The others will either tell me to try again or just prescribe the old and worn 'Switch off the phone, Remove your battery and switch it on again'. As if it is a magical wand that will turn even water to wine. And another painful thing is to call your agents and hear them say, 'Sorry, there is nothing we can do about it'; something tells me that 'Sorry' make it even worse. Having waited for several minutes, some hours before one's call to the call centre is even picked, one will still have to explain himself painstakingly and then answer some questions which should even be rhetorical. And after these waste of time, battery and energy, the faceless lady with a fine voice will say there is nothing she can do. And to rub salt into wound, she will now go ahead to advertize products. I won't blame people who end these calls and break both phone and sim.
Furthermore, these unsolicited messages you send to us are getting unbearable. Imagine the grevious disappointment when I ran to read a text expectantly, only to see it was one of your numerous 500XY advertizing whatnot. This matter has come to a burdensome level such that most of us do not even bother to read text messages anymore, missing important information in the process. And what about those who have deleted stored information on their phones in a bid to delete your ever-incoming messages? And when my brother requested that these messages be stopped, your agent asked if he can off adverts on TV. Well, I ask you too, did I ever register my details, taking passport and giving fingerprints to buy a TV station?
In addition, your way of sucking off our money is quite inching towards Robbery. It has gone to the extent that I have proposed a theory that you guys have what I call a 'Department of Thiefery and Deduction, DTD' that works like the Devil himself; giving us an apple and collecting our Gift of Life in exchange; offering us one kobo to collect a thousand naira in return. Though I know this sounds like a conspiracy theory, but something tells me it is real. Because I cannot simply fathom how you do it. A person makes a simple mistake and as if you have been waiting all your life for him to do it, his full credit is wiped off. I mean, just sending a code by mistake and a newly subscribed data plan is stopped. You think that is the person's fault? Okay, what about my dad who tried subscribing for your 2500 naira 4.5 gig data plan? After clicking subscribe so many times and satisfied that it should have gone through, he connected his browser and checked his email; I mean his email. Only to find out the subscription was ignored and his credit was chopped off. And what about me too; I have called your agents so many a time that I have even stopped now. I will have enough data to browse but will you deduct my browsing charges from my large data? No sir! You'd rather jettison the data and dip your hands in my credit. And while I stay here, watching videos online and laughing, your DTD is sucking away my credit and smiling. And there is absolutely nothing a common man like me can do except to get irritated and vexed. Never have I heard of a day a customer's unjustly deducted credit was restored. Never.
In conclusion, time and ink will fail me to talk of the times two phones will be placed side by side and that woman will say in her usual high soprano, 'The number you have dialed is switched off'. Anyway, you have taught me to be tolerable and slow to anger. You have also taught me to never expect anything free. There is always a string attached with MTN; gifts always come with a bait. And I won't blame you too much. There are other networks and still, with all these your excesses and outright wickedness, I still stick with you. Even when migrating to another network will not change my number, I am still staying here for you to continue 'barbing my head'.
And if this letter find its way to your hands, which I doubt it will, remember to look my name up in your data and reward or punish me for all I have said.

Yours Irritatedly and 'fed-uply.