₦airaland Forum

0luwatope:
Hi guys, am actually looking for comedians who can post on a particular web everyday. Dont worry I'll pay you weekly. name your price lets talk here

Am interested

Her only hope of expo has been taken away,so she had to cry through out the examination because she had nothing to write..sorry ehn,no b today una start

Her only hope of expo has been taken away,so she had to cry through out because she nothing to write..sorry ehn,no b today una start

But 9girians y all this,y all this jungle justice nd inhuman behaviour. All the politicians that steals this country hard earned money,y haven't u burnt dem all,although what the guy did was bad but does a bike worth his life. This people that killed him,can they even create an ant. For christ sake he didn't kill anybody. After beating him up,he can be taken to kirikiri 4 further torture(there they might even blind his own eye there). Must we sin in place of correcting another sin. In the case BH,they have killed so they must be killed. How do they even feel doing all this,how would you feel seeing your relative or your parents receiving jungle justice. God help Nigeria
#ProudlyNaija
#SayNoToJungleJustice

Both d court nd d man are foolish..wen no b rape,d man didn't even go to her house,d woman carry her toothpick leg go the man house. What was she expecting. Better let the innocent man go..But the husband is not just a fool,he is a bloody nd compound fool

Lol,dis is so true Done it b4 sha,wen I ws still learning

Lwkmd,I can't stop laffing...all you wrote is so true,am guilty of soaking d pots...mum is good at that sponge stuff(even wen u wnt 2 wash d plates out of ur own good will,they wuld still talk)...lol
Good one bro

modelmike7:
.... Prophetess of doom. Guess that was how you were deflowered at that age?! On everything that was written, this is all you can think of?! Pathetic! Oshisko!!

Exactly what I had in mind,out of everything that was written,that is what he could pick.How would such a thing even come to his mind.A little girl is making it and he is there talking about rubbish.He should go and disvirgin her if others do not it.Rubbish!

11 GOOD WAYS TO IDENTIFY A NIGERIAN
Woke up this morning and all this just came into my
head,read and enjoy.
1) Its only a Nigerian mother that would go to the
market and price something from the actual price
(#5000) down to (#150) all in the name of "jale jale" .
(Our mama dey vex)
2) Its only a Nigerian that ask questions like
Guy:how old are you?
Girl:am 25
Guy:hmmmn,have you started seeing your monthly
visitor?
Girl:nahhh,just a red juice that comes out of me.
(Some guys sha)
3) Its only a Nigerian that would count money from
the ATM after receiving it.(We trust no one,not even
machines)
4) Its only a Nigerian parent that would tell you they
never had a gf or bf till marriage.(Holier than thou)
5) Its only a Nigerian parent that would tell you they
always came out first in there class.(Gurus in tha
house)
6) Its only a Nigerian girl that would date 6 guys and
sleep with all of them and still say "am playing 6
guys".(Common sense revolution hasn't reached
everybody)
7) Its only Nigerian mothers that renders slaps that
can format the 32gigabyte memory card in a child's
brain.(They are gifted)
Nah only for naija your paddy go travel go togo
come back with american accent.(At least him comot
from Nigeria border).
9) Its only a Nigerian girl that would send you a
request on facebook and still expect you to say hi,fine
you say hi first and she'll still be telling you "yh" "kk".
(School to learn how to chat must be opened)
10) Its only a Nigerian pastor that would distribute
anointing for cars and mansions but does not even
have a wheel barrow tire.(Anointing no reach dere
side)
11) Its only in Nigeria whatsapp and facebook that
Jesus,God and devil use to chat(They all have
facebook,whatsapp and twitter account).
I drop my pen at this point!!
Lol,am still proud to be a Nigerian even though Nigeria economy wan kill persin.
#ProudlyNaija
Writer: Mr lamdee

BeeBeeOoh:
That was how my neighbour's daughter grew nyash over night till I take a closer view at d Bum-Bum..

U go dey scope persin pikin yansh...lol...all dos gals dat wnt 2 hv ass by force by fire

kelvee:
3. Coconut water and dullards I’m sure the reason why many of us stayed away from coconut and it’s water was because our parents told us that coconut water makes children dull.

My dad still says that up till now..lol

Lalasticlala
10 SIGNS TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE BEING FOLLOWED FROM THE VILLAGE.
1) If after buying heaven and earth for your babe in a supermarket and u try to redraw some money frm d atm and it tells u "insufficient fund",u check your account balance nd u see "01.00n" den u remember dat u have an outstanding loan......my broda or sista dey re at work.
2) If u have written JAMB up to the extent dat JAMB now registers you for free and gives your family members discount...brethren u need special deliverance from daddy G.O himself.
3) If d moment u enter a place nepa takes light and d moment u are going out,d light comes back...my broda or sista u are carrying anti-nepa on your head.
4) If you have transferred money 2 the wrong account 6times now or whenever someone wants 2 transfer money 2 u,its goes 2 a wrong account...brethren badlock has become your companion...a 3day crusade must b held on your behalf.
5) If you try calling your bf/gf's numba and mtn forwards your call 2 your dad's numba and the first thing u say is "hello darling,last nite was really fun on bed with u,dnt mind my dad,he didn't notice a thing"...my broda my sista your enemies are right at your back.
6) If after buying your multi-billion naira mansion and your buggati veryon W32 engine,your mom wakes you up tells its time for church...brethren i recommend olive oil 4 your sickness.
7) If after eating bread and suya in your dream,you wake up the next morning and find bread nylon and suya paper on your bed...my broda my sista u need serious belle cleansing.
If when downloading a very important file from d internet and your fone goes off when it reaches 98%....brethren your head needs 2 b washed with holy water.
9) If u buy 1000n recharge card from hawkers on d road and u load it 2 find out it has been used...my broda my sista pastors worldwide needs 2 gather and pray on your behalf.
10) And if after reading this you don't at least smile...brethren you need a holy bath at eleguishi beach.
Feel free 2 add yours....

ireneony:
Tosin u are so on point, especially no.6

Sometime last year, Mrcork came to my home unannounced. That niggah was my very good friend then.

I was in the bathroom taking my bath and same time listening to music with my beat by dre
The niggah went to the bathroom And bumped in without knocking.
At first I was startled......I had a second thought and I smiled to myself

The next thing I did was to lock the door
I grabbed him, I tore his shirt and remove his trousers. ...I was fast as usain bolt...I bleep the hell out of him
After I was done..mrcork was crying.

And that was the last time I heard from mrcork

Chaii...so that's how you just raped that guy,its not fair ooo