Lukmanraji: My gf of seven years has been giving me attitude recently which I noticed sometimes last year. I observed that she always check my phone to look for something to hold against me. Yes, she suspected that I'm having something with someone. So, every time she's around me, she always find one or two thing that will lead to argument and all that. Aside that, the respect, love and intimacy between us reduced drastically.
Fast forward to this year, She successfully read a chat on my phone where I was talking dirty with someone. That's the genesis of the whole mess I'm in right now. She just walked out quietly and decided to end it all. Since then, I've not been myself because this is the person I have planned to live the rest of my life with. So, I started begging her but she's not giving me any green light. I called, messaged her but no response. I asked my Junior brother to beg on my behalf but she didn't succumb to that not until my dad intervened to apologize on my behalf.
So, she call me that we need to see. I rushed to visit her and apologize again and again. She agreed to continue with the relationship but she hasn't forgiven me. After few weeks of the whole issue. I suspected that she's hiding something from me. Then one fateful night, I spy on her phone when she was unlocking her phone. That night, I was able to access her phone while she was asleep.
I checked her WhatsApp, I discovered that she has been clearing her chat with one particular guy who happens to be her friend from NYSC since 2021. They became close as they both work in the same financial institution but in a different branch. Then I went further to her Instagram page to see what's going there.
To my greatest surprise, I discovered that they have been having an affair since 2023. My gf has been throwing herself to this guy, they have been going to the cinema together and other places. On her birthday, my babe and this guy went out together without my knowledge, they both book uber to somewhere without my knowledge, they were both sharing their feelings online, talking about marriage, how to raise their kids irrespective of their religion differences and my babe even throwing herself to the guy for sex. Everything thing I found in their chat especially how my babe has been treating this guy with love and respect is the opposite of how my babe has been treating me lately.
So, I screenshoted all the evidence and save on my phone. I then challenged her that she's cheating on me with that guy but she blatantly denied it. Not until I showed her all the evidences with me before she began to cry fowl and started debunking all I saw. She claimed that they are not true, they were just playing and not into any thing serious. They are friends and that's how they banter each other online. All her excuses were not genuine but I still forgive her on one condition that I don't want to see her with the guy again and she should cut off any form of friendship or relationship between them because I had done something more than that to her just recently and she forgive me.
Meanwhile, during the cause of this issue, I proposed to my gf that we should take this relationship to the next level by seeing her parents this year and maybe by the end of the year, we do the whole thing. The shock response I got from her was that she's not in a rush to settle down with me. Not even this year as she's just healing from the heartbreak I caused her and I can't use marriage to tie her down then I continue breaking her heart. There's no how I tried convincing her that I am a changed man now as I am ready to take responsibility and be a responsible person.
After few weeks, I logged into her whatsapp on my system and then again I found out that she's still talking to this guy and they were even planning on going out again. I got angry and send proof to her but guess what, my babe para for me for cloning her whatsapp on my system. Hell almost let lose that evening. This time around, she felt unapologetic about the primary issue that I warned her to desist from. Funny enough, after close observation, I learnt that they move their chats from whatsapp to Snapchat where their chat is just "view once". Then I knew that this lady is not ready to stop talking to this guy. I have shouted over and over this matter but this time around, my babe is now feeling lackadaisical about this issue.
Right now, my babe is now comfortable with the guy and she's now sitting on defense about this matter. In our last conversation, my GF literarily told me that she doesn't love me anymore. And then she started rewinding all my past during the cause of the relation and using it as an excuse for not been able to love me like she used to. In our conversation, the only thing she didn't mention is that we should go on our separate ways (break up) but everything she said to me indirectly simply means that she is done with me.
I felt unloved as this is the woman I never placed anyone above, this is the woman I've nurtured when we were in school and outside school. I respected her and love her so much that she has become part of me. My parents, family and friends are expecting us to tie the knot soon but here is my babe telling me she's not in love with me anymore. I felt unloved about this whole thing and I'm heartbroken.
I am lost and crying inside silently as I never expected someone I have sacrificed something huge for before to be acting like this to me. I'm depressed. I need mature advise from you guys. Thank you.
In as much as I understand your plight, I would advice that you take it easy on yourself. Cut every means of communication with her. YES! It won't be easy, but with time you will be alright. Do not attempt to beg her becos it is very clear that the love is gone...thats if it was ever there from the beginning. Do not be in a hurry to get into another relationship. Instead, focus on yourself- career, profession, finances, etc while you improve on yourself in all ramifications. The truth is that her male friend is just whining her ni. Smart guys wey wan just chop a lady know how to play on a lady psychologically. Most ladies fall for it. She started dating the guy when she was going through your phone. Her guilty conscience made her to be going through your phone to compensate herself of her wrongdoings if you were also doing same. Soon, her eye go clear nd she will come back. Abeg, no accept her apologies together with that of her ancestors. A WORD IS ENOUGH FOR THE WISE. Mr. Sprint
Racoon: Wait o! It is IMF that is ruling in Nigeria now?
Me sef taya for the IMF said we should do this and IMF said we should do that... IMF serves the interests of the west... Make dem point out any of the ideas of IMF wey don work for Naija.
Obainoman6: You were not wise and that wise couple have run you street, its a normal thing where i live mugu must always fall for guyman to chop. Right now that wise couple will be enjoying the stuffs they bought from your shop while toasting with a cool bottle of wine and celebrating. Take your L peacefully.
It amazes me how some people refuse to connect the wire from their brain to their mouth/hands. God has given you the brain to think rationally and critically on issue that pertains to what everybody could learn from, but you chose to be stupid.
Unclebayo: people will class you The way you class yourself, its the teacher's fault
It's obvious you are not a teacher and you are not a rational thinker. The people that feel the direct impact of today's moral decay among teenagers and youth are the teachers... This moral decay is majorly caused by the kind of family that it seems most people are trying to encourage... THE BABYDADDY and BABYMAMA kind of family...
[In an economy that works, everyone is busy.quote author=papyjaypaul post=129093591]
Misery loves company.
In Nigeria, some people are doing so well, they are successful in their fields. In the abroad, people are doing so well, they don't have time for sorry story. They get up and succeed. Why do you think it is lonely at the top It's because many people give up on their way to the top. That's why it looks like it is difficult to find successful people. They are so busy with maintaining their success, you will have to find them to interview them. The ones that are not successful will be whining about life. Life is what you give to it.
IconicR: Someone I know is secretly dating her cousin's husband, the said man was responsible for this lady's new job and she works directly under the man , same office and everything.
They all work at the same place but wife works in a different department, the annoying part is that this lady is far older than her cousin, a divorcee who is yet to remarry. I saw all their love messages to each other but they've not had sex because the man was complaining that she claims to love him but they have never made the love. I stumbled on all these when she asked me to take a picture of her with her phone and the love messages of that man came in, I quickly exported all their chats to my phone and I saw everything, I couldn't even sleep that day because this aunty is the last person I ever expect such deadly snaky habits from.
Now whenever I see all of them together I cringe, knowing fully well what's secretly going on. The thing is bordering me and I feel I should exposed them before they commit the abominable act of sex
Though from their chats she has resisted all kinds of moves from the man aside their exchange of love words. Another side is that this aunty and the man travelled together recently and came back the next day but from their conversation it doesn't look like anything happened but I don't know if they slept in different rooms.
Aunty has always told the man that she won't do anything with him that will hurt her cousin but the man keeps pressuring her. So my own is I'm so uncomfortable keeping this secret , I'm so tempted to confront this aunty that I know what she's doing but I'm still holding myself back.
What do I do please because I can't promise of keeping this secret and minding my business, I just can't.
Please how do I go about this?
My own is for you to use your brain before using your emotions.
The funny thing is that those that were there are still the ones that would be at APC rally and would also be at Labour rally. Rallies these days are ALL JOIN.
What is Sowore? Sowore is a person who doesnot know the difference between being an activist and being a politician. ...this is the reason why he has lost his relevance among the youths.
I don't know why we like to celebrate mediocrity. Those that haven't walked the length and breadth of Lagos might agree with you. But for me, i won't agree that Lagos is the most beautiful. Lagos is just an overhyped state compared to how it is supposed to be in a SANE country. Why not give us pictures of Ayobo, Alagbado, Ipaja-command, inner part of Fadeyi ( where you will still find mud houses) etc before concluding. I SPRINT
Romance / Re: My Relationship Of 7 Years Is Going Down. I Need Help!!! by MrSprinter: 10:10pm On May 14
It's because many people give up on their way to the top. That's why it looks like it is difficult to find successful people. They are so busy with maintaining their success, you will have to find them to interview them. The ones that are not successful will be whining about life. Life is what you give to it.