₦airaland Forum

God created the donkey and said to him.
'You will be a donkey. You will work un-tiringly from sunrise to sunset
carrying burdens on your back. You will eat grass, you will have
no intelligence and you will live 50 years.'

The donkey answered: 'I will be a donkey, but to live 50 years is much.
Give me only 20 years'
God granted his wish.
*******
God created the dog and said to him:
'You will guard the house of man. You will be his best Friend.
You will eat the scraps that he gives you and you will live 30 years.
You will be a dog. '

The dog answered: 'Sir, to live 30 years is too much,give me only 15 years.'
God granted his wish.
*******

God created the monkey and said to him:
'You will be a monkey. You will swing from branch to branch doing tricks.
You will be amusing and you will live 20 years. '

The monkey answered: 'To live 20 years is too much, give me only 10 years.'
God granted his wish.
*******

Finally God created man , and said to him:
'You will be man, the only rational creature on the face of the earth.

You will use your intelligence to become master over all the animals.
You will dominate the world and you will live 20 years.'
*******

Man responded: 'Sir, I will be a man but to live only 20 years is very little,
give me the 30 years that the donkey refused, the 15 years that the dog
did not want and the 10 years the monkey refused.'
God granted man's wish
*******

And since then, man lives 20 years as a man ,
marries and spends 30 years like a donkey,
working and carrying all the burdens on his back.

Then when his children are grown,
he lives 15 years like a dog taking care of the house and eating
whatever is given to him, so that when he is old,

he can retire and live 10 years like a monkey,
going from house to house and from one son or daughter to another
doing tricks to amuse his grandchildren.

That's Life. Is'nt it ?

_________________

underwear robber

why should she know?

na wa o.

olulu, na u sabi.

stingy son of a depressed father

my hot dog

carolina----awilo logumba

u need to be cained


if u were a lawyer

Harry was a poor tailor whose shop was next door a 2 Star Restaurant. Every day for lunch, Harry would eat his black bread and herring in the small garden at the back of his shop. He would always smell the wonderful odours emanating from the next door restaurant's kitchen.

One day, the restaurant sent Harry an invoice. Harry went to see the manager to ask why.

The manager replied, "You’re enjoying my food, so you should pay for it."

Harry refused to pay and the restaurant sued him. At the hearing, the judge asked the restaurant to present their side of the story.

They said, "Every day, this man comes and sits near our kitchen and visibly smells our food whilst eating his. We are obviously adding value to his cheap food and we deserve to be recompensed for it."

The judge then asked Harry, "And what do you have to say about that?"

Harry said nothing but stuck his hand in his pocket and rattled around the coins he had inside.

The judge asked him, "What’s the meaning of that?"

Harry replied, "I am paying for the smell of his food with the sound of my money."

trouble follows u

do i look like i do?

welli, where is ibkaye, ur pal?

A man went into a local tavern and took a seat at the bar next to a women patron.

He turned to her and said, "This is a special day, I'm celebrating."

"What a coincidence," said the woman, "I'm celebrating, too". She clinked glasses with him and asked, "What are you celebrating?"

"I'm a chicken farmer," he replied. "For years all my hens were infertile, but today they're
finally fertile."

"What a coincidence, the woman said. "My husband and I have been trying to have a child. Today, my gynecologist told me I'm
pregnant! How did your chickens become fertile?" she asked.

"I switched cocks," he replied.

"What a coincidence," she said.

A man and his wife were supposed to go to a costume party together one Halloween, but when the time came to go the party, the woman told him to go on without her, because she said she had a terrible headache.

The man reluctantly did, and the suspicious wife decided to see just how faithful her man really was. She put on a different costume and went to the party.

When she got there she saw her husband dancing with a young girl in a sexy costume. Now, even more suspicious, she decided to really put him to the test.

She danced with him and whispered that they should sneak into a bedroom. She insisted they leave the masks on and had sex with him.

Fuming, she ran home to wait for his return. When he got there, she innocently asked if he'd had fun. He told her he hadn't.

After a few minutes at the party, he and some guys had gone across the street to play poker.

He added, "The guy who borrowed my costume said he had a hell of a time, though!"

Golf Genie

A couple was golfing one day on a very, very exclusive golf course,
lined with million dollar houses. On the third tee the husband said,
"Honey, be very careful when you drive the ball don't knock out any
windows. It'll cost us a fortune to fix."

The wife teed up and shacked it right through the window of the
biggest house on the course. The husband cringed and said, "I told you to watch out for the houses. Alright, let's go up there, apologize and see how much this is going to cost."

They walked up, knocked on the door, and heard a voice say, "Come on
in." They opened the door and saw glass all over the floor and a broken bottle lying on its side in the foyer. A man on the couch said, "Are you the people that broke my window?"

"Uh, yeah. Sorry about that." the husband replied.

"No, actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie that was trapped for a
thousand years in that bottle. You've released me. I'm allowed to
grant three wishes-I'll give you each one wish, and I'll keep the last
one for myself."

"OK, great!" the husband said. " I want a million dollars a year for
the rest of my life." "No problem-it's the least I could do. And you, what do you want?" the genie said, looking at the wife.
"I want a house in every country of the world," she said.
"Consider it done." the genie replied.

"And what's your wish, genie?", the husband said.
"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle, I haven't had sex with
a woman in a thousand years. My wish is to sleep with your wife."

The husband looks at the wife and said, "Well, we did get a lot of
money and all those houses, honey. I guess I don't care." The genie took the wife upstairs and ravished her for two hours.

After it was over, the genie rolled over, looked at the wife, and
said, "How old is your husband, anyway?"
"35." she replied.

"And he still believes in genies?, That's amazing

meter go burn.

and were are the bigwigs: ibkaye, welli, lysaa, manickal, ziggymama, saucekid, cesky and the rest. a lotta newbies in here.

this thread ain`t dead yet?

a pussie is a pet.

inter 4 ever. i dnt giv a fuk abwt joser

how/why was her puszy exposed in the 1st place?

the genie

A man was walking along the beach and found a
bottle. He looked around and didn't see anyone so
he opened the bottle. A genie appeared and
thanked the man for letting him out. The genie
said, 'I am so grateful to get out of that bottle
that I will grant you one wish. I can only grant
one.'

The man thought for a while and finally said,
'I have always wanted to go to Hawaii. I've never
been able to go because I cannot fly. Airplanes
are much too frightening for me. On a boat, I see
all that water and I become very claustrophobic.
So I wish for a road to be built from here to
Hawaii.

The genie thought for a few minutes and finally
said, 'No, I don't think I can do that. Just
think of all the work involved. Consider all the
piling needed to hold up a highway and how deep
they would have to go to reach the bottom of the
ocean. Imagine all the pavement needed. No, that
is just too much to ask.'

The man thought for a few minutes and then told
the genie, 'There is one other thing I have
always wanted. I would like to be able to
understand women. What makes them laugh and cry,
why are they temperamental, why are they so
difficult to get along with. Basically, what
makes them tick.'

The genie considered for a few minutes and said,
'So, do you want two lanes or four?'

the Hot parrot

This guy is not getting along so well with his
wife and thinks maybe he'd like to have a pet he
can get along with. So, he goes to a pet shop in
search of a friend. After looking around he spots
a parrot sitting on a little perch. It doesn't
have any feet or legs. The guy says out loud,
"Geez, I wonder what happened to this parrot?"
"I was born this way," says the parrot. "I'm a
defective parrot." "Ha, ha," the guy laughs. "It
sounded like this parrot actually understood what
I said and answered me." "I understood every
word," says the parrot. "I am a highly
intelligent, thoroughly educated bird." "Yeah?"
the guy asks. "Then answer this; how do you hang
onto your perch without any feet?" "Well," the
parrot says, "this is a little embarrassing, but
since you asked I'll tell you. I wrap my little
parrot penis around this wooden bar, kind of like
a little hook. You can't see it cause of my
feathers."

"Wow," says guy, "you really can understand and
answer, can't you?" "Of course. I speak both
Spanish and English. I can converse with
competence on almost any subject: politics,
religion, sports, physics, philosophy , and
I am especially good at ornithology. You ought to
buy me. I am a great companion." The guy looks at
the price tag. "$200!" he says. "I can't afford
that."

"Pssst," the parrot hisses, motioning the guy over
with one wing. "Nobody wants me cause I don't have
any feet. You can get me for $20 just make an
offer." The guy offers 20 dollars and walks out
with the parrot. Weeks go by.

The parrot is sensational. He's funny, he's
interesting, he's a great pal, he understands
everything, sympathizes, gives good advice. The
guy is delighted. One day the guy comes home from
work and the parrot says, Pssst," and motions him
over with one wing. The guy goes up close to the
cage. "I don't know if I should tell you this or
not," says the parrot, "but it's about your wife
and the mailman."

"What?" says the guy.

"Well," the parrot says, "when the mailman came to
the door today your wife greeted him in a sheer
nightgown and kissed him on the mouth." "What
happened then?" asks the guy. "Then the mailman
came into the house and lifted up the nightgown
and began petting her all over," reports the
parrot.

"Oh No!" the guy says. "Then what?"

"Then he lifted up the nightgown, got down on his
knees and began to look at her body, starting with
her breasts and slowly going down and down, "

The parrot pauses for a long time. "What happened?
What happened?" says the frantic guy.

"I don't know," says the parrot, "I fell off my
perch."

the period

the kindergatten class had a homework assignment
to find out about something exciting and relate
it to the class the next day. When the time came
for the little kids to give their reports, the
teacher was calling on them one at a time.

The teacher was reluctant to call upon little
Johnnie, knowing that he sometimes could be a bit
crude. But eventually his turn came. Little
Johnnie walked up to the front of the class, and
with a piece of chalk, made a small white dot on
the blackboard, then sat back down.

Well the teacher couldn't figure out what Johnnie
had in mind for his report on something exciting,
so she asked him just what that was. 'It's a
period', Johnnie explained.

'Well I can see that,' she said, 'but what is so
exciting about a period?'

'Damned if I know,' said Johnnie, 'but this
morning my sister said she missed one. Then Daddy
had a heart attack and Mommy fainted.'

nice jokes man.

me thinks LFS is the best coach we could have gotten. i jusr hope he can cope with the rigors of the Barclays premiership though. [[/b]color=#000099][b]chelsea for eternity.[/color]

i fancy the poster above me.

i have banning rytes, i'll ban u. u want that ?

hurt people are so hurt to hurt other people, cuz they don't want other unhurt people to get hurt.

@welli

take it easy with me girl

@ibkaye

oya , maddam, gerrout now or. . . . .?

pimpress

shawty like mine.