₦airaland Forum

all of the above is disrespectful especially these

Compare you with other women in presence of other women
He belittles and mistreats you in the presence of his friends and family

Got this from a site, Nairalanders please what's your take on this:

Coming home after a long day at work, I had only three things on my mind Shower, Dinner and Bed in that order. However, I walked in to see Hamid, one of my cousins, watching a football match with an expression on his face that said something was wrong and it clearly wasn’t the match as it had only just started. I contemplated interrupting his match to ask him what was going on or simply pretend like I didn’t see anything and just go have that shower I was already looking forward to. My caring or maybe curious nature got the better of me so I asked casually, “What’s up Sourface?”

“Nothing.”

“Ah, that means something is up. I’m listening.”

He seemed undecided whether to tell me or not but when he saw I wasn’t budging, he gave in and said, “It’s just some girl that’s pissing me off.” He said with a frown.

Now, this is not a new thing. Girls piss guys off all the time and vice versa, so I knew there was more to this story than he was telling. Even though I was tired, I decided to hear him out. Then, he passed his phone to me and said, “Read that text.”

I skimmed through the text and it went along the lines of, “Hey, I think you misunderstood what I was saying. I like you as a friend. I really do and I don’t want anything that will ruin this friendship we’ve got.” The sender was someone called Gbemi. I handed his phone back to him and judging by the expression on his face I could tell the text wasn’t what he wanted to read.

Hamid and Gbemi have been friends for years. They met in university during their undergraduate days. When Hamid met her, she already had a boyfriend and even though he really liked her he did the respectful thing and didn’t bother her. But few months ago, Gbemi and her boyfriend split up. Hamid saw this as a good opportunity to make his intentions known but not wanting to look like an opportunist he decided to wait it out. Now, there is another guy chasing Gbemi and according to Hamid, she is beginning to like this new guy and she talks about him a lot. So, not wanting to lose her, he decided to make his move. Not surprisingly, Gbemi was taken aback, but instead of taking that as a cue, Hamid pressed on. He told her how he had always liked her from the first day he saw her, he literally professed his love to her and when Gbemi wasn’t reciprocating, he got angry and told her he would talk to her later, and then hung up. She sent the said text after the phone call.

It was hard for me to say anything because I, like Gbemi, have found myself in similar situations where guys I considered very good friends suddenly expressed their feelings for me and I found myself at a loss as to how to react. But at the same time, I felt bad for Hamid, I felt even worse when he told me something similar had happened to him before. I wanted to hug him but I knew that would probably make him feel embarrassed so instead I told him not to worry that he would meet a nice girl who would love him madly, truly, deeply and all that.

He smiled and shook his head. “I know what the problem is,” he said, “I think I’m too nice.”

“No! What? No way! That can’t be a problem. Every girl wants a nice guy.”

“Well obviously not the girls I’ve been meeting.”

“No, that’s not true. Being nice is a good thing. You shouldn’t let these things get to you.” I was about to launch into a pep talk about why things were not working out and how I was certain he was going to meet a lovely girl when he stood up to leave.

“Don’t worry Ebun, you can’t understand.” He said as he picked his car keys and made for the door.

I was confused but shrugged it off. After all, I was only trying to make him feel better.

The next day at work, I was talking to Alex, one of my colleagues about what had happened to Hamid. Alex likes to think he’s an expert on all things relationships and the workings of the female mind so I asked what he thought about the whole situation. He said rather bluntly that Hamid was one of the unlucky guys who found themselves trapped in the Friend Zone. He agreed with Hamid that he was too nice because, according to him only nice guys found themselves in that zone.

Alex told me he had been a victim on a number of occasions and it took a while for him to realise what women were doing to him. I disagreed and told him it wasn’t our fault. He nodded and said, “Whatever. My point is the moment a guy sees a potential, i.e. a girl he wants something much more than friendship from, he has to make his intentions known up-front. Because the moment you approach them as a friend, you’ll forever be considered a friend. And believe me, that is the worst thing that could happen to a guy.”

I disagreed and pointed out that men are just as guilty but he wasn’t having it. He told me to ask other guys and they will probably say the same thing. I didn’t have any guys around to ask so I decided to bring it to the men and women folk of Bella Naija. So, what do you men say? Have you found yourselves trapped in the Friend Zone? Are we ladies responsible for putting you in there? What can guys like Hamid do to avoid this zone? And to the ladies, are guys responsible for the zones we inadvertently put them in? Is being too nice one of the criteria for getting into the zone? Are there other criteria?

Let’s talk!

2buff:
No be money she use take come your office? Abi una get free public transport for naija now?

abeg help me ask them o, like seriously wats d biggy. is he not going to receive an alert if she should withdraw more than she demanded.i am so sure most guys talking here fend for their girlfriend's family and not only their girlfriend.

abeg op why are you dating her if you cant trust her with little thing as visa card and pin. if a woman is going to run you down, your visa card and pin is even the least of the options.

na wa o, hmmmm. d way some people reply to comments ehn like say dem won publish book or na essay. Nairaland wont pay you for 10 pages replies and na still rubbish dem go yarn. LESS IS MORE OH!

Da_b¤§§.:
lol
Nobody likes being alone.

been alone sometimes is way better than been unhappy. our prayer is God should grant all of us happy marriages

me i am a YORUBA MAN'S PROPERTY any day any time. he misbehaves, i put him in the hands of God, if he says he is too stubborn and hard hearted i divorce him, re marry or stay single. marriage is not a do or die affair, been single is not a crime.its just an agreeement btw a man and woman in the presence of God.

and for you poster that is reserching on the divorce rate btw yoruba and igbo women, maybe you should go and lick stew or mop the sea, or pick beans or rather chop stone.

note: Yoruba women are industrous traders, fearless risk takers and powerful decision makers

That's your business

*singing wizkid*
i love my baby thats my baby, i will treat my baby right, hold my baby tight,

dnt worry guys, i have sent it

i want to send an sms blast to people specifically lawyers because they do yearly conference in dubai
and my company is like an agent that arranges people for such trips like hotel accomodation, visa, transport in dubai at affordable rates

i will like you guys to help me make like a bulk sms to people, though have done mine but i need professional touches

i want to send an sms blast to lawyers specifically and my boss gave me just 30 mins to do it. he is very meticulous and he is a critic
this is what it entails:

International bar association dubai 2011(oct 30 - nov 5)
arkgold ltd is arrangig airticket, dubai visa, hotel accomodation and dubai transport for this conference.
hotel and transport =$89 per day, dubai visa =$175.
ther will be business and social networking, sight seeing, boat cruise and dinner on dubai creek, tour of burj khalifa (eorld tallest tower), burj- al - arab (world most luxurious hotel, desert safari and lots more

arkgold limited is a dubai based coy operated dubai nigerian based lawyers

help me plsssss

i want to send an sms blast to lawyers specifically and my boss gave me just 30 mins to do it. he is very meticulous and he is a critic
this is what it entails:

International bar association dubai 2011(oct 30 - nov 5)
arkgold ltd is arrangig airticket, dubai visa, hotel accomodation and dubai transport for this conference.
hotel and transport =$89 per day, dubai visa =$175.
ther will be business and social networking, sight seeing, boat cruise and dinner on dubai creek, tour of burj khalifa (eorld tallest tower), burj- al - arab (world most luxurious hotel, desert safari and lots more

arkgold limited is a dubai based coy operated dubai nigerian based lawyers

help me plsssss

190:
[color=deeppink]First class maga's!!

smh![/color]


[size=18pt]CAN ALL WOMEN ON THIS THREAD SWEAR ON THEIR LIVES THEY HAVE NEVER ASKED THEIR BOYFRIENDS FOR MONEY FOR THEIR HAIR BEFORE      [/size]

I WILL PROUDLY SAY IT : I WILL ASK FOR MONEY FROM MY BOYFRIEND ANY DAY ANYTIME I LIKE BECAUSE HE TOO CAN ASK FOR MONEY FROM ME ANY DAY ANY TIME HE LIKES , i dont believe in asking and not giving back

190:
[color=deeppink]shut your st[i]u[/i]pid mouth up!!

OP hasnt bought a 100 naira card for a woman before

Is that how other women from other countries ridicule themselves

I have dated several women from several countries, not 1, not 2, not 3 certainly not 4

and i have dated Nigerian women (WOMEN I said NOT WOMAN)

and there clearly is a hugh difference between our women and other women out there

I wont go about bad mouthing our women but what i do know is the economical crises in Nigeria is the major cause of

our women been so loose and desperate and flawlessly fooolish!

In NIGERIA its a case of the highest bidder - ( where did the word - MONEY FOR HAND, NYASH FOR GROUND - Originate from )

do you certainly think there aint no truth in that quote!

use your damn sense - what i find breath-taking is, even if we talk from now till next YEAR our women would still do what they love doing best

- BEGGING!!!   [/color]

you are always an 1diot in your replies, when it comes to men matters a woman in nigeria, togo sudan is the same as a woman in america or UK and for crying out loud what has eceomical crisis got to do with all of these
ODE!!!

Nayah:
Mz Great, spending on woman it's not suitable because I think some women are quite lazy and exagerate but, and I insist a lot of woman try to be independant and are not that beggers as the op want to make you think, just that both sides have to be blamed

fair enough but get that idea off your head that spending for a woman is not suitable cos really most of u men spend for the wrong women cos of what y"all will get afterwards. like the yoruba adage that says na wetin you go chop nor go make you wise

i can bet on my life that all the guys that have commented on this thread are[b] FIRST CLASS MAGAS[/b], take it or leave it cos it runs through their gene but they wont know

yeye4live:
rose ure a big fool,dont go get a life kip on wating for a guy to fend for u,its only bastard guys that will comit mone into a usles ting lik u, go on sharing your Kitty instead of u to get a life

and who is the bigger fool here if you cant spend on your woman

most of the guys ranting here that women beg for money all the time
cant even take care of themselves or their family. if a woman begs
you for money and you cant afford it cos you are a broke a55 nigga
then shut the hell up like seriously. its only people that have cleared
their bank account for a woman should complain because m very sure
the OP has not even bought 100 recharge card for a babe before.

if you men dont encourage it then women will stop asking begging.

190:
^west african east coast bat

ode!! toh stupid who dash you

iyatrustee:
where do you get these wierd animal names from sef

its cos he is a wierd animal himself

Goldieluks:
just pray for God's guidance.

thanks goldie

iyatrustee:
@ mzgr8 Just take kia of urself. Tot it was 190 dat drove u out of NL

190 ke, make dem put am for photocopying machine sef, he nor plenty reach and i can see he hasnt changed from his mental ways

sure i will mosdef takie of myself

iyatrustee:
Mzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzgreat! where have you been

its one job i got dat has been keeping me off the fun fune here o. trust you are good
i don miss you die iya

Sharrap and gerraway jor

Please nairalanders, how do u know Mr right or your husband or this guyis the one that is meant for me. married women you pple are in d best position to answer this question cos men of nowadays we don't know what they want again

someone told me 190 and mr cork were deported due to fake documents. eeyaa m really feelinf sorry for them o

folahann:
Women sha!
They have forgotten they are the no 1 problem of themselves.

how? please prove it

from vacation ma!

iyatrustee:
you give her either your Atm card or give cash! so kini big deal

perfect answer till this thread is outdated

good evening y'all

good afternoon y'all