I understand the pain a lot of you feel. The late Engr. Funso and I sat beside each other on a commercial flight from Abuja to Lagos last week and had a very stimulating discussion. We promised to keep in touch, only for this to happen. He was such a gentle-man and sometimes I wondered what he was doing in politics, especially trying to govern a volatile state like Lagos. Even within PDP, he had Adeseye Ogunlewe, Ganiyu Olarenwaju Solomon (GOS) and Musiliu Obanikoro to contend with. Men that try to give the impression of being urbane, when they are actually more vicious than the next man. But like we all know, such is the futility of life, and we shall all return to Allah, though we know neither when, nor where, nor how.
However, my advice to those who allow their emotions get the better of them is this, no amount of violence/revolution would bring about a cure for the Nation's ills. It has to start f with a determination from all of us to ensure that those who get to office are people whose abilities and pedigree are not in doubt/can be trusted. We can draw inspiration from how the people of Kano and Lagos states resisted the PDP onslaught of 2003.
Let's keep watching and doing our little bit where we can, because the build-up would get bloodier in the days ahead.

@hotstepper, really envy you. At least you can plan your holidays ahead. By virtue of my having willingly assigned my life to the Government of the Federal Republic of Nigeria, I'm at the mercy of the whims of 'you know who'. On the upside, I can see the world and i'm guaranteed an entree to anywhere on the continent.

@hotstepper, Nagode. Why wait till December before coming home to see your folks?

@Todd Terry, though I'm based in Abuja, I fly into Lagos frequently on assignments, so I'll reply to the best of my knowledge.
1. Nigerians are basically very friendly and accomodating, though Lagosians are usually very harried. Nigerians place great importance on showing respect to people older than you, and for survival, just utilise the same street knowledge you'll use in either NY, Rio, Jo'burg, London, etc. to safeguard your valuables and you'll be just fine.
2.There are several white people in Lagos so you wouldn't look out of place. You'll hardly encounter any display of racism, and people would actually go out of their way to assist you, though they'll teasingly refer to you as 'oyibo'.
3.4.&5. MMA isn't that difficult to get out of. The immigration guys are pretty okay, but the ones to watch out for are the snotty nosed customs, NDLEA and SSS dudes, though I rarely have difficulties with them (maybe due to where I work and my social status). If they ask for 'something for the weekend', 'anything for the boys' etc, you can oblige them if they were nice (but never more than the equivalent of $20). If they get too belligerent, start taking down their names and serial numbers.BTW, if anyone approaches you and tries to sound officious, DEMAND for identification and request to know what his agency does from one of your fellow passengers.
6.7,8 &9. Since there'll be a driver waiting to pick you, there shouldn't be much fear of that. It's not as commonplace as people make it out to be. In all my years of flying into Nigeria through LOS/MMA, I never experienced such, and now I prefer going thru ABV (Abuja) b/c it's more relaxed and organised. However, to ensure that it's really the guy sent to pick you, there should be some form of code. Unless your driver is licensed, forget about the  gun, because it wouldn't be much use if you come across robbers b/c their weapons are pretty sophisticated and if they know you're armed, they're shooting you guys outright, and if the cops carry out a routine search, see the gun and your driver isn't in the armed forces, then DAMN!! You guys are in for it. It is also advised that the car used in picking you up is a bland, everyday car like a peugeot 504(with an A/C for the heat).
10 & 11. Yup!! VI has the best hotels in Lagos, and it's location is very central to whatever you have to do in Lagos. Try the Protea Hotel, Sofitel Moorhouse, Eko Hotel. There are also some nice classy small hotels. I'm sure that Nairalanders can recommend more. VI is roughly 40mins from MMA when there's no traffic. But that's the caveat, because Lagos traffic can be excruciatingly horrible and make that distance at least 2-3 hrs.
13. Petrol is N65/litre (roughly 55cents).
14.Try your hotel BDC (Bureau de Change) or any of the commercial banks that abound in VI. At least you wouldn't get stiffed of your money and you're sure of getting genuine Naira notes.
15&16. I guess that the real Lagosians here can answer that.
17.No, you guys would look perfectly normal, and if there's any wahala (problem), your friends can use 'ogboju' (chutzpah) to extricate yourselves.
18. Average tip ranges from 50 to 100 bucks, 200 naira if the service was exceptional. NEVER tip taxi drivers.
19&20. The beggars in Lagos swarm like flies. If you have to give, it shouldn't exceed 20 naira. And it's not all beggars you must be sympathetic to. If you're not in the mood, simply ignore them. Same with the ubiquitous street hawkers. A 'talk to the hand' expression is sufficient. DONT make eye contact with them, or you'll end up buying what you didn't set out for.
21.Of course its best to fly to Calabar from Lagos. Aero Contractors has one daily flight and are the best option on that route. ADC airlines has a greater frequency on that route but use a 737-200. Is AB referring to Aba or Abia? Or is it Abeokuta?
22. Considering that you're coming from Canada, be weary about typhoid, meningitis, and the heat and horrible stench that is endemic to Lagos. When you get to Calabar, the difference would be too visible. Very clean, peaceful and orderly place, with warm friendly people and beautiful cuisine.
23. Bottled water is everywhere, and most of them are from springs apart from Eva and Aquadana. Always ask for Swan and Ragolis first, before the others.
24. Budget roughly $100 per night for a room in a very good hotel.
25.Most  hotel Car hires ask for roughly N1,500.00 per hour.
26. For police checkpoints, when they refuse to pass you guys on immediately, slip the driver N20 - N50 to pass on to them. He'll know how to talk to them if they're being too belligerent.
27. I guess that others can fill in this part. But as a parting shot, don't criticise Nigeria in the presence of Nigerians, but allow them do so themselves. If possible, try visit other parts of the country to really appreciate Nigeria and Nigerians. I recommend Abuja,PH, Jos and KD. And if you're flying (which is preferable for journeys above 3.5 hours, I recommend Aero-Contractors, Virgin Nigeria and Bellview Airlines. Pity I can't fly you on one of my equipment though.

Sure my brother. The burial went ok, though I still had to crack a few heads there in the village (how else them go take know say big boy don land?).

@buchio7, you hit the nail on the head! We know that once you fall in the bad books of the powers that be, any excuse can be used to go after you, and even when no case can be established, then some of your proclivities are used to blackmail you. It's a staple of those in power in Nigeria, and would always be. And woe betide you if the man in charge is as vindictive as Obj and Abacha (at least IBB would try seducing you to his side first, the rest of them use sledgehammers).
In relation to the fishy story behind Adenuga's wealth, I had pointed out earlier that those with access always take care of themselves, but the question is, how many of them actually turn it into real wealth that endures? I can give you several examples of those that actually made more money out of IBB/Abacha/Abdulsalami than Adenuga did, but where are they now? buchio7, do you remember the stunts Arthur Eze pulled in Enugu during that era (afterall his wife taught you & i at fgce)? And I actually heard IBB saying to someone (the man who introduced Triax to him in the early 80s b4 Triax swerved him of his own share of the goods) that he gave him deals worth well over $4billion (not million, and USD, not NGN) but that Triax had nothing to show for it as at 2002. What of Bashir Tofa who was making roughly $30million per month in the late 80s and early 90s? I see him when he comes to hustle for jobs here at Abuja in order to keep up appearances. What of the late Clarkson Majomi? And the fabled wealth of the late MKO Abiola (though that can be blamed on Abacha frustrating his businesses. But his dilettante children also played a big role in crumbling the empire, despite the restitution given by Abdulsalami) The list is endless. So please, inasmuch as I can't stand "Chairman", let's be balanced about the issue at hand and give him credit for his contribution to the economy.
@old glory, still with regard to your analogy about the presence of competition crashing tariffs, I pointed out that the operating environment in Nigeria is such that you can't go below a minimum tresh-hold in order to ensure your company's continued existence. If it's not infrastructural issues (building your own mast, which isn't the case elsewhere, providing your own power thanks to the erraticness of PHCN/the locale not being on the national grid, providing an access road to the base station, etc) to social issues (e.g security to prevent Niger-Delta youths from seizing a base station, mushin youths from stealing cables for use as clothes-lines - don't laugh, it happens to MTN) to regulatory issues (NCC and other agencies imposing all sorts of charges and raising them arbitrarily) among others. I'm sure that buchio7 can enlighten us more, having worked in Nigeria's telecoms sector. We have PTOs who offer lower rates and other value add-ons, but they don't have the continuity of existence and level of penetration required to make a difference.
Any further comments?

WOW!! I can't believe the underlying strain of envy that has been reflected in the greater part of this thread. And even when the situation that warranted Adenuga's invitation by EFCC was revealed (movements within the PTDF a/c in ETB. That's an operational issue BTW for which the Branch Manager/AGM/ED should be held), in typical Nigerian "witch-hunting" fashion, we go after a member of the board.
And here on Nairaland, in juvenile fashion, our arm-chair critics who delude themselves about the existence of an utopian and egalitarian society, now try to cloak their envy (because I can assure you that if they had access to the corridors of power the way he did, they'll commit far greater economic crimes) by stridently calling for his head.
Don't get me wrong, I'm not a fan of "Chairman/The Guru" as some of our mutual friends call him, and I personally have a lot of dirt on him that would stick, but let's not allow our emotions becloud logical reasoning.
People here have accused Adenuga of collaborating with past regimes in order to enrich he and his associates in the corridors of power. Well, you've just betrayed your lack of understanding of the way high-stakes business and politics is played the world over, especially in your "beloved United States" and our dynamic Nigeria (which is actually one of the easiest places in this world to have access to the corridors of power - I challenge you to show me anywhere else). At the risk of ruffling several feathers, you've revealed yourselves to be the kind of "middle-class drones" who display a self-righteous attitude about the situation in the land but never bestir themselves to actually do something about it, hoping that things would correct themself eventually. Yes, things do correct themselves, but only for those who pick up the gauntlet and rise up to the challenge. More often than not, they act only for their own preservation and self-interest. But I digress.
I would like @old glory to tell us which position Adenuga held in government that gave him access to state funds to loot? I would also like him to tell us where Adenuga was accused of money laundering and tax evasion. And as for his analogy about verizon, cingular etc crashing market tariffs, I can only smile at his lack of practical knowledge of the operating environment and state with all confidence that if they were here, they'll toe the same line with MTN and co. and believe you me, I've used these networks elsewhere(MTN in SA and Uganda) and I'm not charged as much. And that bit about holding the handset as a satellite receiver, was one exaggeration too many.
Abeg I don tire to take panadol for anoda man headache. I've got a Jet to go fly, and Buchio7, have u called Scunty?

To start with, it is bad economics to accumulate that amount in the foreign reserves, when the domestic economy is depressed. For the young man (Afeni I believe) who mouthed the high-school textbook argument about the need for a weak currency, please remember that there is no such thing as perfect market conditions in the real world, thus consigning theory to what it is, theory! I'll advise you to acquaint yourself with the work of J.M.Keynes and J.K.Gailbraith for a close approximation of how to revive a depressed economy.
Furthermore, the Nigerian situation has been known to defy prescribed economic models, and that deliberately holding down our currency has done us us no good. Instead, we are working towards boosting local productive capacity and consumption through infrastructural investment. We believe that while this is taking place, we can also leverage on the ingenuity that is inherent in us as a people and diversify. But that is a story for another day.
It should also be noted that throwing money at a problem would not neccessarily solve it. There would still be structural imbalances that require socio-political solutions, and reformation of enabling frameworks. Thus in a nutshell, the Government can not go it alone. As some posters have pointed out earlier, greater investment is being made in some key sectors which would , Insha Allah, bear fruit when this administration is out of office.
With regard to the presence of such a huge amount in the reserves granting us access to credit, I categorically state that (and you can hold me to this) this administration has no plans to engage in such, and with the passage of the proposed fiscal responsibility act, the order of prioritization of projects would be more pronounced.
On a parting note, it should be noted that your reserves are meant to indicate your ability to fulfil import cover for a period (6 months for most economies when their GDP is taken into account. Ours is 5 years) honour international financial obligations, and enhance monetary operations (ask the IMF wetin dat one mean).

I even want to ask the originator of the topic how the guy ended up with her number, if she wasn't secretly 'eyeing' him before he made the move to ask for it.

Funny that you guys are sounding so peeved. Afterall in Nigeria, it is a known fact that there are plenty men who sleep with their wives/girlfriends/mistresses' sisters. Infact some even marry them both, e.g. former speaker Ghali Na'aba married his wife's sister less than a year after he lost his wife. And there are several instances (and I speak from personal experience) where 2 sisters in the same house would be chasing/sleeping with the same guy. So wetin be una beef?

Given my extensive experience around Nigeria (which is to be expected given my schedule of duties for the Government of the Federal Republic) and the level of interaction I've achieved with these fellows, my honest opinion is as follows:

Worst Governors
North West - Ahmed Sani (former colleague of mine who's doesn't practice what he preaches, living a decadent life of debauchery with his cronies and deceiving the masses)
- Adamu Aliero (Kebbi State - can't even point to one vision plan apart from reviving the Argungu fishing festival, the capital, BK, is just a glorified trading post with no decent hotel)
- Saminu Turaki (Jigawa State - has a lofty vision, and would have succeeded if he wasn't into governing from LHR, JFK,SIN,HKG,DXB,JNB and FRA airports. i.e. He attends to matters of state, awards contracts and treats files at the executive lounges before boarding the next flight.
North East - Senator Ali Sheriff (more concerned with his 75 jeeps and a hummer to match every colour of his pair of shoes) is still enjoying the effizy of his office. Maiduguri's once vibrant kanuri business community is running to Chad and Kano because of the Governor's non-challance.
- Bonnie Haruna (Adamawa - enough already said in an earlier post, I can only add that you try locating a decent hotel in Yola if you won't come up with horrors)
- Rev. Jolly Nyame (Taraba - 3 terms in governance with nothing concrete? Jalingo gives me the shivers. i can't even try landing a plane on that airstrip he points to as his most visible achievement).
North Central - Abdullahi Adamu (Nasarawa, no contest. He actually lives in Abuja, and goes to Lafia 2ce a week for a couple of hours to run the state).
- Abdulkadir Kure (Niger - is more concerned with sitting back and doing nothing since IBB, Abdulsalami, David Mark, Lawan Gwadabe and Gado Nasko (who diverted FCT projects to minna) had done all the work.
- Joshua Dariye (Plateau - see what he and Mantu have done to our once peaceful state. infrastructure in J-town is dead).
- George Akume (Benue - really has no idea of what to do with power other than settle petty scores).
South South - Lucky Igbinedion (Chei!!! My beloved benin city has suffered!! what did edo do to deserve him a second time? Anenih has plenty questions to answer!!)
Peter Odili (Just like Lucky, but has access to more cash. PH that was once the 'garden city' is unbearable. As for the level of brigandage in Rivers, )
Victor Attah (woke up when he had 20 months to go and is feverishly trying to leave a legacy in AKS).
South East - Achike Udenwa (still the same infrastructure I've known in Owerri since the time of Mbakwe. even had the temerity to list the opening of Mr. biggs as one of his achievements. what a gas!!!)
- Orji Uzor Kalu (Umuahia is still in the state it was when my pop was in Biafran Intelligence. Aba still has the level of filth and lawlessness that i knew in my youth, and as for his "populist" style of governance, he can't even hold a candle to the Ashiwaju and Mr. Spotless (Fayose).
South West - Adebayo Alao Akala (Oyo - the dude doesn't have a plan, and when you ask him he turns around to claim that he's hamstrung by Adedibu. whew!!)
Prince Olagunsoye Onyinlola (Sometimes we actually wonder if it wasn't a mistake giving him the Osun seat instead of Omisore).

But of course, I have to acknowledge those that are performing creditably, and that is not just in terms of infrastructural development, but working on a sustainable vision:
Donald Duke (if only he could drop his vicious brand of politics), Gbenga Daniels, Ashiwaju Bola Tinubu, James Ibori (I'm sure some of you would be shocked but go round the whole DT and compare with 9 yrs ago), Chimaroke Nnamani (leave thuggery and elimination of opposition aside), Sam Egwu (has a very workable vision and is concentrating on education which is the key, considering how backward Ebonyi used to be), Bukola Saraki (correct man), Ahmed Markafi (you try governing a volatile state like KD), Adamu Mu'azu (another correct man - sometimes i can't believe the pace of improvement in Bauchi, its astounding especially when you consider how much the state receives from FAAC, and his ability to maintain the peace despite the level of volatility), Attahiru Bafarawa, Bukar Abba Ibrahim (he's had 3 terms and hasn't done badly - take a trip to potiskum, damaturu and Gashua, and compare with how they used to be) and last but not least, Mohammed Danjuma Goje (who has done a lot for Gombe within so short a period).

Anybody wey im name no dey the list, na 'all motion no movement' person like them Agagu, Ibro, Shekarau, Goodluck Jonathan, etc.

I can assure Chxta that the "distinguished senator" wouldn't be at the wheels. It would be one of his flunkies assigned to do such jobs.

Rightly pointed out my dear. What we need is a Nigerian President not an ethnic jingoist. And thankfully, the dynamics of getting power in Nigeria would not allow ethnic irredentists get beyond the primaries. Maybe they can try the guber positions in their states and see how far they'll go in the exercise of power.

Don't tell me you were there too? How long ago?

I'll advise him to go with First Inland, their pay is better than the UBA, and they have greater room for expansion/opportunities. Skye bank is still shaky with the regulatory authorities.

I can think of two outright, the events leading to the civil war (including the war itself) and the fall out of the annulment of the june 12th 1993 election.

I find it very amusing to read the posts that some of you kids put out. Apart from a few noticeable exceptions, most of you are more concerned with spewing forth parochial, ethnic, sentiments and vitriol, thus exposing your level (and lack) of patriotism, willingness to fit into the new global realities and society, as well as a desire to work towards taking Nigeria to the next level. I mean, a lot of people here sound like spoilt brats and I'm pretty sure they've never opened their eyes and taken an indepth look into the people that make up our great nation and the factors that unify as well as strengthen us.

On a personal note, I do not care where the next president comes from, as long as he/she builds up on the foundation Obj has laid and doesn't repeat the grievous mistake of leaving out the welfare component of a reform process. Afterall the issue of zoning did not arise pre-1999, and we got along better, before the present crop of leaders (at least a good number) who were not prepared for power took over and corrupted the entire process which has brought about the present malaise. So to all those who are spouting the kind of politics you can only hear among the ignorant fellows in a typical Nigerian market/motorpark/peppersoup and fish joint (and I've been around a lot, especially when I want to unwind/go incognito ) I say, go get some enlightenment and come down to Abuja let's talk!!!

I remeber walking up to a group of girls at a club in Lusaka, Zambia, and after they turned down my request for a dance, i unconciously replied in pidgin; ' how una go come club no go wan dance??!!!' to which the leader of the pack replied me; ' bros which part of naija you from come??' Needless to say, I was stunned. It turned out that she was from ogun state and was working there as an expatriate.

And for those who claim that Nigerians go to all sort of places because of the prevailing economic situation, I can assure you that thats not the main reason. We all have a major sense of adventure and its been on even before independence. Whenever my driver tells me about places he went to when he was younger, the Nigerians he met, and the wild oats he sowed, you'll understand what I'm talking about.

Well I actually know the senator with that plate. His Rolls Royce actually just has the numbers "666" and nothing else. clue: He's from Imo state and Chxta can't stand him.

If I wrote on my boarding house experience, it would definitely fill a book. And @Nutter, from that story of yours about the great yam-po massacre, I definitely remember that night (fgce in the early 90s). Man, weren't we livid. But when I look back at the stunts we pulled then, and how polished and refined most of us appear to the world, i can't help smiling. Definitely my kids would go to a boarding house, preferably in Naija.