Adults misunderstanding kids’ questions is the thread we didn’t know we needed – the 24 most awkward
Oonagh Keating. Updated September 13th, 2018
Twitter user, Andy Ryan, told a joke about misinterpreting a child’s question and it went viral because it’s pretty funny. Read it for yourself.
Daughter: What does gays mean? Me: Well you know mum and dad love each other – two men can love each other the same way Her: So what's 'penetrating gays'? Me: Er… read me the whole sentence Her: "She stared at him with a penetrating gaze" Me: Oh
— Andy Ryan (@ItsAndyRyan) September 11, 2018
See -funny, right? But, even though Andy was joking, it reminded a lot of people of genuine misunderstandings in a similar vein, making one of the funniest threads you’ll see this week. These are our 24 favourites.
1
This reminds me when my little brother asked me what a “ho” was and I told him that wasn’t a nice word where did he learn it from? Then he replied “my farming game”
— Zainab Alsayegh (@ZainabAls) September 12, 2018
2
Playing murder mystery game with child. Reads character sheet. “Mum what’s porn” “er naughty pictures of ladies naked” “oh, ok” later….. “And then I had to pawn the necklace to settle my debts”
— E_III_R (@E_III_R) September 11, 2018
3
7 year old son was learning to read and asked what semen was. I began to explain but then I started to wander why that word was in a children’s book. So I looked at the page. It said “c’mon”
— Liz (@LingoAcademy) September 12, 2018
4
Daughter (rushing in from playing out) “Mum what’s it called when u go on top of another person in bed?”Me “Erm it’s called sex” Daughter “OK” (rushes back out) 5 mins later. Daughter (rushing back in) ” Mum u r wrong – it’s called bunk beds & Emilys mum wants a word with you”
— Nicky Doherty (@Ndoh71) September 12, 2018
5
My niece asked a question about “French kissing” when she was little, which made for a brief awkward moment until we realized she meant kissing people on alternate cheeks.
— Michael Hat ︽✵︽ (@RexDart1) September 12, 2018
6
Child: mom, how do you spell “penis”? Mom: Uh. P E N—what’s the context, baby? Child: I’m writing a Fathers Day card! Mom: !!!!?!! Child: And I’m saying “wishing you happiness” and I got the “hap” part already!
— Zina Petersen (@ZinaNPetersen) September 12, 2018
7
My mum’s fave story to tell is when my sister (about 5yo at the time) asked what a cock was. After trying to keep cool and explain that it was a rude word, the full sentence was revealed as “The cock crowed at dawn.”
— Rita Lennon (@RitaELennon) September 12, 2018
8
Wonderful thread! Must add ‘Mummy, where did I come from?’ ‘Well, ….. ‘ basic biology .. Puzzled child ‘ But new boy at school comes from Birmingham ‘
— Norah C (@Norahe7) September 12, 2018
9
My sister-in-law’s 8yr-old son asked her what sperm was. She spent a great deal of time trying to give him his first “talk”. After she was done, she asked him if he understood. He said, “what does that have to do with sperm whales?”
— Colin McGovern (@cmcgovern) September 12, 2018
10
Had a similar situation my daughter asked what a dick-taker was when she was 6 I started to tell her it’s not nice to call people names but then checked where she heard it. The news was talking about Hugo Chavez dying DICTATOR
— roiannenedd (@roiannenedd) September 12, 2018
11
My eldest aged 6 or so asked me what incest was. It emerged that what he actually wanted to know was what the key just above “delete” and below “print screen” did.
— Albert Herring (@Albert_Herring) September 12, 2018
12
My mam told me a story about her being a little kid, and asking her mam if they were b*st*rds. Her mam went wide eyed, chased her round the sofa and said, “What did you say?” thinking someone had been talking crap, turns out mam was trying to say baptist, as in the church
— SWINE (@SWINEOFFICIAL) September 12, 2018
13
I have a 2 1/2 year old daughter that asked what “hostages” was. I explained and she still looked confused. My wife asked, “Did you mean sausages?”
She meant sausages.
— Jared Mason (@JaredEMason) September 12, 2018
14
Son asked...mum, what's Vice? I gave explanation suitable for 5yo ears THEN asked why he wanted to know. Eyes like saucers he said "I've been made captain of it in my class"
Carmel @Carmel63984298
Some people cunningly swerved genuinely awkward questions. 15
i was in the car with my son once, and he asked me what a cougar was. i said, “a mountain lion. sometimes they’re called pumas or panthers” without missing a beat. we both knew that isn’t what he meant, but neither of us said anything.
— sister mouzone (@blackgirldating) September 12, 2018
16
We were in the car once with my parents when my brother asked what is a virgin? My dad gave him a lecture on undiscovered land
— Asimah (@asimahNShah) September 12, 2018
17
I’m just reminded of dad’s explanation of “hooker” in a Mad Magazine reference as someone who makes rugs.
— Rick Bruner (@rickbruner) September 12, 2018
Others shared some charmingly innocent childhood misinterpretations.
18
2 years ago, my then 10-yo came to us, novel in hand, and announced “If this means what I THINK I means, I should NOT be reading this book!”
She was appalled that author wrote that two characters had “exchanged pleasantries”.
That term is now our family’s go-to euphemism.
— Just Dave (@d_m_s_1972) September 12, 2018
19
As a young’n I was scandalized by someone “kissing her temple” in a book. I had never heard of a temple before on a body and all the to-do about virginity being sacred made me think it was an obscene act.
— Julie V. (@wishingbee) September 12, 2018
There were also some embarrassing word mix-ups.
20
One of the ‘posh’ girls at our primary school got very confused and answered a question about Queen Elizabeth I with “Elizabeth Vagina” My how we laughed.
— Webhead (@SarahDirtyHorse) September 12, 2018
(Naptu2's note: I think the answer was meant to be "Elizabeth Regina", that is, "Queen Elizabeth" in Latin)
21
My little nephew called me once and said a doctor wanted to remove his “testicles” and my sis in law screams in the background “tonsils! Omg tonsils!” So it was a rollercoaster of emotion for 30seconds
— K.M. Galvin (@KelsieGalvin) September 12, 2018
22
My Sister once asked me if we were Catholic or Prostitute?!
— Nicole Connell (@BradsMrs) September 12, 2018
23
Age 8 first overseas vacation announced to my mother in a packed solid dinning room in a rather loud & enthusiastic shrill “I’ve just seen the biggest testicles ever seen”… I can still see her raised eyebrows & rye smile now. I still smirk at the word tentacles
— Moira C. Delaney (@MoiraDelaney66) September 12, 2018
24
My pals 3 year old had first trip to cinema and full of joy told me his favourite bit of the trip was the cockporn! The what? I said. ‘popcorn! POPCORN!” Said my exasperated friend. Yes said the 3 year old “I love cockporn” … he told his nursery teacher, neighbour, and granny
— Galloping Catastrophe (@gallopingcatast) September 12, 2018
One person shared a misheard line from a popular film, which would have very much altered its reputation.
That line in Sound of Music where Maria runs to Mother Superior when she realizes she’s fallen for Cpt. Von Trapp-Mother Superior says “Maria, what is it you can’t face?” But with her accent, I swear it sounds like “Maria, what is it you c*nt face?”
— Brigit Michaela (@lilyvnshtp) September 12, 2018
Other pictures = The road will have a dedicated truck lane and set back for a future rail project in order to prevent the kind of problems that we have in Apapa (where trucks keep parking on the road).
…Governor, Cabinet Members Inspect Construction Work
Barring unanticipated event, the construction of 18.7-kilometre six-lane rigid pavement carriageway from Eleko Junction in Ibeju Lekki to Epe T-Junction in Lagos State will be completed and commissioned. This was the assurance from Governor Babajide Sanwo-Olu when he and members of the State Executive Council went on an on-the-spot assessment of the project, on Monday.
Sanwo-Olu was excited by the pace of work on the road, persuading the contractor handling the project to increase its momentum in order to push the progress to an encouraging level before the end of the year.
The Governor flagged off the first phase of the expansion on the Lekki-Epe Expressway last November, kick-starting the rehabilitation of the 40-year-old infrastructure. The second phase of the project, which will start later this year, stretches 26.7Km from Eleko Junction to Abraham Adesanya Junction in Eti-Osa axis.
At the time of the Governor’s inspection, the contractor had completed a stretch of 3km on the lane from Eleko Junction inward Epe, while the right-of-way for the entire project has been fully cleared.
After communicating the work progress to the Governor, representatives of the contractor led Sanwo-Olu and cabinet members on legwork for assessment of features on the completed stretch, including drainage channels, kerb and segregated lane for heavy-duty vehicles.
The Governor was optimistic the project would be delivered on record time, charging the contractor to scale up the pace of work.
He said: “This exercise is an on-the-spot assessment to view the status of the 18.7Km six-lane rigid pavement road construction we are doing from Eleko Junction to Epe. The contractor has been active on site in the last six months, and they have touched every part of the entire stretch. We are currently assessing the project from the 3km lane already completed. On either side are three lanes. Two lanes are for cars, while the last lane is for heavy-duty vehicles. There will be 1.5km pedestrian walkway on both sides.
“We are happy with the progress of the project, because the contractor works day and night. I believe the work is on track. Residents on this corridor are also happy with the level of work done. They are waiting on us to hand over this important infrastructure to them in earnest.
“The beauty of the work is that it has reduced the journey time, even as the road is still being constructed. There is no hindrance on the road; motorists have the right-of-way for free movement. Not until when we finish the entire construction, we would have the full benefit of this investment. We are happy with what we have seen and we believe that the contractor should be rounding off the work by end this year or first quarter next year.”
CAPTION:
PIX 1 L-R: Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babajide Sanwo-Olu (middle); his deputy, Dr. Obafemi Hamzat (second right); Special Adviser to the Governor on Works & Infrastructure, Mrs. Aramide Adeyoye with representatives of the contractor, Craneburg construction during an inspection of the ongoing rehabilitation and upgrading of the Lekki-Epe expressway (Eleko Junction to Epe T-Junction) on Monday, June 14, 2021.
PIX 2: Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babajide Sanwo-Olu flanked by his deputy, Dr. Obafemi Hamzat (right), and the State’s General Manager of New Towns Development Authority (NTDA), Mr. Aboyeji Olakunle, during an inspection of the ongoing rehabilitation and upgrading of the Lekki-Epe expressway (Eleko Junction to Epe T-Junction) on Monday, June 14, 2021.
PIX 3-5 : The ongoing rehabilitation and upgrading of the Lekki-Epe expressway (Eleko Junction to Epe T-Junction) inspected by Lagos State Governor, Mr. Babajide Sanwo-Olu and members of the State Executive Council on Monday, June 14, 2021.
The Lagos State Ferry Services has announced plans to transport the Super Eagles to the 2021 Africa Cup of Nations in Cameroon by boat.
LAGFERRY Managing Director, Abdoulbaq Balogun, said they considered the boat trip following the success recorded in the Eagles trip by sea for their AFCON qualifier against Benin Republic in Porto-Novo in March.
“We plan to take Nigeria’s Super Eagles to Cameroon for next year’s Nations Cup after achieving that of Benin Republic — this is a goal we have set for ourselves.
“While onboard, you get to enjoy free Wi-Fi; there is also USB pots and a lot of side entertainment and side attractions enabled by technology.
“It was a major milestone for us to transport Nigeria’s national team to Benin Republic through the waterways.
“Coming on board LAGFERRY through the international route to Benin Republic is a mind-blowing experience. We were excited to be part of it,” Balogun told newsmen on Tuesday.
Balogun said the success recorded in the Benin game, where the Eagles won 1-0 away, was as a result of the trouble-free trip.
“It reflected on the field of play and it showed on their (players) performances because they came out victorious in the game,” Balogun added.
The Eagles travelled to and fro Benin Republic by boat with many of the players and officials praising LAGFERRY for the trip.
The 2021 AFCON takes place in Cameroon between January 9 and February 6, 2022 after it was postponed from 2021 due to COVID-19.
Ishilove: If all the members of your family are in your contacts, then yes, they will also be involved because the moment you click on 'I Agree' it is legally binding. There are many rabbit holes in all these agreements that people overlook when signing digitally and even on paper. Abi no be you carry yourself go meet them? You will have to play by their rules because you have given them the legal ground to.
It doesn't work that way. They only have dealings with the person who took a loan. They need to be very careful about the kind of messages that they send to other people. The other contacts did not sign any agreement with the loan sharks and the loan sharks need to be really very careful about the kind of messages that they send to them.
Governor of Lagos State, Mr Babajide Sanwo-Olu today commissioned The Yaba Bus Terminal. The terminal is one of the most modern of all bus termini in terms of design and physical attractiveness.
The white teflon covering being a waterproof fabric gives the terminal a unique look and would complement our Lagos Rail Mass Transit (LRMT) Red Line rail infrastructure which are just on the horizon. The ongoing Yaba Train Station which would be integrated with this Yaba Bus terminal, thus making Yaba a major transport interchange.
On the left is Murtala Muhammed Way, which will be the take-off point for the overpass bridge over the rail lines to take traffic into Ojuelegba Road. The overpass bridge is government’s answer to eliminating the incidences of train accidents at level crossings.
The bus terminal has loading and off-loading bay for up to 15 midi and 4 high capacity buses per loading time, stable for 20 high capacity buses and public conveniences, water treatment plant, perimeter fencing, perimeter lightning.
It has a generator house with 200KVA generator and 500KVA transformer, muster point in case of emergency, pedestrian walkway, external lighting, Traffic system management (TSM) and signage among others.
Terminal Building consists of:
• Ticketing Area and sitting area • Restaurant area with kitchenette • Commercial stores: • Control room • Passenger information display board • Offices • ATM point • Sit out area on the first floor
The buses from the Yaba Bus Terminal shall run the following routes:
esnbrutality: LAGOS STATE NO GET MOUTH FOR THE MOVES OF FHA.
EVEN THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT OFFICE IN FESTAC TOWN IS BEING CONSIDERED FOR DEMOLITION.
FESTAC TOWN IS A PURELY FEDERAL GOVERNMENT ESTATE. THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT IS A SCAM.
SO @naptu....its was the FHA TASK FORCE THAT DEMOLISHED THAT AXIS..WHEREAS THE LOCAL GOVERNMENT WAS COLLECTING ILLEGAL TAXES FROM THEM.
Goldenurch: Don't mind all these people spreading unverified information..instead of reaching out to FHA for the exact version or accurate details, they are crediting the demolishing to Lagos State..wetin concern Okada man with seat belt?
I wish I had seen this earlier.
It is always very important to read the text before reacting to it. What are you reacting to if you haven't read and understood what was written?
It was clearly stated in the article that the FHA invited the Lagos State Task Force to carry out the demolition. Of course I know that the FHA owns Festac Town. I have been going there since the late 1970s when it was new and houses were still being allocated. Read what is written in the article.
Family › Adults Misunderstanding Kids' Questions. by naptu2(op): 4:26am On Jun 17, 2021*. Modified: 6:49am On Jun 17, 2021
What do you think I did there??
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