₦airaland Forum

Joshuaforever: Most people don't know the scriptures. The bible says that He(Jesus) was made poor so that through his poverty, we might be made rich. When worldly people(sinners) get rich, no one complains but when men of God get rich people are upset. The bible says it is God that gives power to get wealth.

The person who said this quoted verse, Paul, was he rich materially? In fact, what does he say just a few chapters later in 2Cor 11:27?

Look, the great JC was on earth and your bible has many of his quotes; why didn't he preach the kind of prosperity attributed to his name?

Anyway, why is this a surprise? The non- literal meanings of a lot of bible verses mean we can tweak them till Kingdom come. After all, nobody laments " I don't understand this people sef- when was I blind? I can see!"

And show me a person who has plucked out their eyes or cut their arms to avoid sin (Matt 5:30).

Chinua said it best: why would the people of Nigeria have any issues with corruption when their own dream is to be part of the prosperous people when they get the chance? Is it not Naij? A place where people will scream 'Jesus, Jesus! Hallelujah', until it's the prayer is not working then the juju comes out?

5 out of 10 pastors being Nigerian tells you everything you need to know about Christianity and money in Nigeria. We will tell ourselves 'Let us be like Jesus!' But when it comes to reading the parts where it's obvious he didn't have dough- never fear, we have pastors who will do amazing conversions for us

i.e., Jesus' sandals were equivalent to Italian handmade shoes today.

If people were to list ALL the verses that seem in favour of riches VS the ones that weren't (esp. New Testament) you would see that more point to the latter ( esp as far as material wealth is concerned), but even with that people who's number 1 goal is to be rich will find a way to bend the verses.

The truth is, this type of Christianity has the perfect home in Nigeria - you can smell the desire for riches ( and what they will do for it) in the air. It's like a divined form of playing the lottery.

paris10: Sagamite.. moronic or not, not a single one of you guys accept that you bunch treat your wives as slaves. You intentionally ignore the fact that some women go through abusive relationship, yet ignorantly ranting your displeasure over facts.

I still stand by my assertion... men cheat and in a huge volume. And if your wife cheat and you file for a divorce, then you're an hypocrite. What is good for the goose is also good for the gander.

For any philosophy students, this is baby logic 101.

All you had to do was address your venom to MEN WHO CHEAT or MEN WHO MISTREAT WOMEN. But no, you want to use what you have seen 40%/50%/75%/85% of the time to become an undisputed fact. That's flaw no. 1. Because you are more or less saying that the man that doesn’t cheat should still pay for the sins of the ones who do. This is a typical bitter woman argument – too angry to see that not every man is the same.

Flaw no.2 : Men cheat, why shouldn't women cheat? I hate all cheats, but this sentiment is flawed on too many levels. But, why go into it? I'd only be writing for myself and the choir.

But this is an entertaining thread. It reminds me why arguing/debating with ones partner is usually a waste of time.

P.S I'm just play fighting with you, pls don't take any (or much) offence.

Your argument is still flawed, though.

paris10: I see a lot of opinions spiralling about without the need for an in depth findings on the suffering of Nigerian women in the hands of their supposedly husbands.

Do not misconstrue my write-up and base it on an opinionated ideology. What percentage of women do you know who are being treated harshly by their husbands? Or which research have you conducted on domestic violence?

Nigerian men are egocentric and self-centred...controlling their women like a robot and brainwashing them to accept abuse as a norm. Now that this issue of compensation has been raised, men are going defensive and voicing out their frustration on this idea. Maybe if you treat your women right you wont have the fear of divorce with benefit!

What should it be based on then? Your 'objective' ideology? Have YOU conducted research on domestic violence? If your thread was on the women who have suffered from domestic violence why did you add the issue of cheating? I knew there was nothing rational to see here.

Enjoy your FP.

Okay look - whoever wins, God bless Africa.

Let us avoid a "It will be a criminal act if Yakubu doesn't win African..." thread tomorrow.

Haha, mods. - any chance of putting this in the Jokes section? At least half of it...

No one can deny that Nigerian women go through a lot. And there probably should be situations where the courts should come in to ensure that the women who are truly suffering unfairly should be taken care of. But you've allowed your emotions to carry you away from the direction of logic.

First you say even if the woman commits adultery she should "share from the spoils". And then you add further down, "You married her promising you would take care of her." I don't really know how vows go, but surely the wife promised to be faithful as well - maybe that can be grounds for voided vows (Don't remember the last time I heard vows go into who takes care of who financially, but cool)?

Then you add to a commenter’s response, "Who cares if she earns more!" So what is this about then? Religion? Sexism? Wanting to 'win' at all costs? If the lady earns more 1.) What logical explanation could there be for the man to give her money?? Is she still suffering while being richer than her husband? 2.) If the woman who earns more divorces her husband, does he get some of her cash too?

See, things work better when you are more understanding of both sides and not self-centred. Trying to ensure women benefit no matter what goes on in the marriage will ensure that women will be on one side and men on the other in this fight against the injustices of marriage.
What the courts should be doing is making sure no one can leave a marriage for silly reasons (Sorry, this won’t cover adultery) without being penalised financially or in other ways.

Mondisweets: I have noticed that a lot of guys (on NL) hardly ever think a man can go wrong in a relationship. For instance, if someone created a thread that his girlfriend cheated on him, guys are quick to insult her and tell him to move on and if a girl creates a thread that a guy cheated on her, most of the guys will probably say that maybe she just wasn't good enough or use the same old "men are polygamous by nature" myth. A relationship will never be happy and healthy if you think its all about making the man happy.

A lot of guys tend to say women don't know what they want, but have you actually sit down to talk to your woman to know what she wants? Just because your grandfather told you that your grandmother liked A,B,C doesn't mean every other woman Goes with the same list. The biggest problem with guys (especially the NL ones) is that they don't take time to know what a woman wants and how she wants it. For instance, guys complain that most girls aren't adventurous, remember we all have different personalities and react to things differently (just because you like watching cage fighting it doesn't mean your woman has to like it too) take time to know what your woman likes. Don't be the boring guys who expects his woman to love playing FIFA while you don't even attempt to do anything she enjoys the most with her.

Most guys would rather leave a relationship when things get tough rather than fixing it. Most guys believe that once they betray a woman's trust and she forgives him, it means that everything just goes back to normal at the snap of a finger, but that is never the case. You take time to build that trust again, your actions will determine if you are worthy of being trusted again. Don't do anything stupid that you know will jeopardize your relationship and expect everything to go back to normal simply because you apologized for your silly actions. it has to go beyond a mere apology, your actions have to prove it too.

Every woman has her own likes and dislikes. The biggest mistake you can make is assuming that what you did for an ex will simply work on any other woman. This is the reason why i believe you have to know your woman before you decide to date. Drop that, "if i don't ask her now another guy will do it before me" mentality, a sensible person worth keeping wouldn't just jump into a relationship with someone she hardly knows. Whats the point of rushing into a relationship and then come back on NL making noise about how difficult women are. Who told you to rush into a relationship with someone you don't know. Don't assume all women want the same things and the same treatment. We differ

you would rather talk about your partner. this is the most immature thing that a lot of guys do, if you woman cant make your favorite dish the way you like it, instead of talking to her about it you would rather go tell your friends how much of a bad cook she is. If you know how to make it better why don't you spend that saturday weekend with her showing her where she is going wrong instead of talking about it to your friends sunday to sunday, which never resolves anything. Same thing goes with sex, if she just lies there like rotten wood, why don't you start telling her want you would want her to do. Stop going to your uncles weekend after weekend asking him for advice, he isn't the woman you are being intimate with, he cant possibly know how she likes it. If you think he knows best,maybe you should consider dating him instead you can make suggestions during the act or better yet if you. Are comfortable with it, have a day you will sit down and talk about what you really want when you making love. Some of you may even be surprised that the reason why she never puts energy into it is because you will just be wasting her time, you never attempt to please her.

being pretentious will not do any good in a relationship. lying about your financial status, occupation or your background will only damage your relationship. Don't go on dates you cant afford simply because you want to please a woman, because once you start big she will be expecting that you maintain the same standards. If you know your are just an ordinary clerk dont try and make it sound like something else big and fancy, because the day she figures how fake you are, she will leave you faster than you can say her first name. Let a girl fall in love with you, nit some cooked up guy you wish you were.

As much as you think you are the captain of the ship, a relationship still requires effort from both parties. Its not just about a woman pleasing her man, but its about both parties pleasing each other

You've put down good points, but this is what I've noticed about most of these type of threads on NL - BOTH by men and Women - They are constructed to look rational, but it's really just someone ranting. Man A says why do women do this - Some men concur, some disagree, some women yap Man A (actually, lets be honest; most women with yap Man A). Woman A says why do men...you see where this is going.

If all of this stuff is not enough proof why it's critical (forget about it being important) to 1.) Know thyself 2.) Recognise who you want 3.) Never settle for less then I don't know what will be.

It's just a never-ending circle of the blame-game out here, and both genders are playing it. If science were to prove that we are responsible for what we bring into our lives, expect millions of people to commit suicide that very day; some of us aren't built to live in a world where we can't point fingers at someone else.

Not being funny, but the OP - a woman - is accusing men of being 'hard to please' and being guilty of the above

Wow.

Anyhoo, the most important thing to realise is that if it's a group of men that are guilty of the above, then maybe you should think of each one as an individual. And if one person is guilty of the above, then your thread title is incorrect.

And if you're trying to tell me all men are like this ( no. 2-8 make no sense to me and no. 9-13 are typical feminist stories (I hate ALL people who smoke!!lol) then all I can say - and I'm not being disrespectful, only honest - stereotypes attract stereotypes.

naija noni: Of course enyeama deserves d award over mikel.
But he wasn't nominated.
Another nigerian was=Mikel
Nobody is sayin Mikel is better dan Yaya.
Or Mikel's individual performance was better than Yaya.
If Yaya wins it,Okay.But its none of my business.
He's not 4rm my country,he doesnt play 4 d club i support.
If Mikel wins i'll be happy becos he 's 4rm my country and he plays 4 my club.
It might give him more confidence
and that could also affect d nigerian national team and chelsea in a good way.
Una dey carry am for head like say if mikel wins the award,them go sack u for work or u go fail ur exam or u go commit suicide.

No offence, but this sentiment is a little yucky. I thought we were all one in Africa. And if so, there is no way anyone deserves the award more than Yaya. No one. Okay, maybe Vincent, but really? Ligue 1?? And for something he did in the last 3,4 months?

And I write this as a super-Nigerian. If there's such a thing, lol.

You guys are funny. Season 3 is dope, but Shuga for me will always be defined by Season 1 and 2. I know we always think we have the best of everything in Nigeria, boys and girls included, but I happen to think some of the girls from the last 2 seasons were nice. And while a few girls in this nigerian one are cute, none are 'over-stunning'.

But i have to say, the cinematography and the little visual effects of the current season - too much!! Loving it, so modern and creative. And I'm happy Femi and Leo are back.

All in all, Shuga is repping and I hope the creators take the franchise to other african countries. In fact - *brings out a sheet of paper* - here's a little wish list:

1. Cote d'ivoire
2. Ghana
3. Mali/Senegal
4. Benin Republic
5. SA or Burundi
6. Algeria??

Ahhh, just go everywhere!!!

Not a bad thread, not a bad ride. By reading this thread it's obvious why we need a super man or super woman president, because 80% of the people on this site (who love abusing the government) cannot and will not contribute more than lip service in the quest to make Nigeria great.

I'm not a preacher, i'm not trying to be on my soapbox, but how do we expect Nigeria to be truly independent and prosperous if we don't see that our creators have to start from somewhere? We laugh and laugh and say 'I'd rather buy a car from elsewhere, haha/etc' and then when a white person calls you a primitive prat who can't create something useful to save your life you will start to blame the government.

I'm looking forward to the day Nigerians create cars from company to conception to completion. And then the Government can put super, super, super tax on imported cars to 'politely' coerce Nigerians into supporting our own. Then when the creators get rewarded handsomely they can make even better cars.

Ngokafor: ....Una no dey tire for all this list??.Nobody is perfect,the earlier you guys shouting 'yeah op on point' realises this the better for you.If you can get 60% perfection,count yourself lucky and grab her with both handsooo!...the remaining 40% is where patience,love and maturity on your part as the man comes in.


....or else you'll be known as a professional wife-searcher by your happily married friends and family members with kids in high school or University.Forever harassing them to look for a wife for you after personally failing over the years to get your ultra-perfect 'stepford wife'.


...I have seen this scenario play out time ad time again in guys/men who on a good day have no reason to still be single and seriously searching at 40years and above..a word is enough for the wise.

I'd rather be a professional wife-searcher than a professional adulterer, professional complainer or any of the other symptoms that arise from being in an unhappy marriage. People are always queuing up to inform the masses that "no one is perfect" or "happiness is in learning how to compromise" - where you get the proof for those statements I'll never know. Especially when people are divorcing left, right and centre or keeping their pastors busy on 'marriage counselling duty'.

Anyway...these kind of discussions can take us til the return of Jesus, so I'll just bow out with the famous quote from Henry Ford:

"Whether you think you can, or you think you can't--you're right."

CHESSBOARD: I talk am, na only a YORUBA man go marry this weedo( weirdo).... IGbos have taste when it comes to choosing a wife, not a Too-decay

Later you'll go on another thread and accuse Yorubas of being tribalistic...#dontgetit

Baking soda is bicarbonate of soda, it's different from baking powder. And although the op did give a warning, be very, very careful with it as it's also been said to damage teeth and cause cavities.

Tribalism seems to be a convient answer for Nigeria's problems...even more so than consumerism/materialism, ignorance and corruption. And the problem of this so-called tribalism has never been tackled adequately - how many other countries have a history of tribal disharmony from the get go like Nigeria? If they exist, don't they have the same issues? Our colonizers took advantage of this disharmony to serve their own interests. Has the disharmony been rectified or just swept under the carpet? And we're surprised it still exists? One man tells another man or a group of people, "don't be tribalistic!" and what, the problem is just meant to disappear?? Is that how problems are solved in the real world? You are fighting with your partner and then you say to him/her, "stop doing that" - do the issues miraculously disappear?

The dynamics of SA and Nigeria are different. Apartheid might have been a great uniter amongst the black people of SA; why fight another tribe when both of you have a bigger enemy that is trying to deal with you both?

We need better solutions in Nigeria, possibly intellectual ones, because for all this talk about forgetting about what tribe a person comes from, I do not think English is the answer. Failing that, we need more people to be politically-savvy and fight the numerous injustices that exist. It's too easier to fall into a "if I can chop after you, everything is okay " mentality.

Is this really being submissive, or is this what a 'real' (lots of fakes out there) feminist would call being submissive? Wouldn't this be normal in 75-90% of african households? Or am I really dated and out of touch?

Either way, there is nothing wrong with being whoever you want to be. I tend to see 2 trends now: Females who call themselves feminists when they really mean they want to have everything (in a relationship) their way, and females who are far from submissive who enter some sort of unwritten agreement to behave as such in exchange for total security. I imagine there's a little bit (or a lot) of overlap between the two.

Anyway, we live in a free world, everyone should do whatever makes them happy.

You have started lying again, I see.

RationalDude: Good day.
So, I was having a conversation with one of my religious friends and we delved into the topic of premarital sex (is it wrong or right), while I maintained that it was neither right nor wrong since it had its merits and demerits, he disagreed with me claiming that there is more to sex than just the physical and then he went on to add that there is a spiritual side to sex.
Urging him to clarify on what he meant by that, he said that when a man and a woman make love, they become bonded and become one with each other sharing in each others problems and happiness and that when a man sleeps around with multiple women, he becomes fragmented and his fortunes would dwindle and so on......
While I don't subscribe to his notion of sex being spiritual, I still want to know what the general public thinks about this issue so I ask, is there a spiritual side to sex?

I think your friend is right: I think there is a spiritual side to sex. I also think that the spiritual aspect to sex goes way beyond the 'premarital sex/ fornication' discussion. The esoteric Christians and Sufis as well as other spiritualists often have lots to say on the topic. It's a topic that has been criminally glossed-over/ignored (IMHO), since it's so important. You only have to read 'think and grow rich' where the author is talking about why many men don't become successful til 40 to see how deep the rabbit hole may go...

Too many fanatics on both sides of the argument. Unnecessary abuse.

There needs to be more love, because by nature a devout christian/Muslim cannot speak the same language as a pagan or an atheist. No matter how rational the Christians/Muslims try to sound, the gentle truth is that you can't be obedient to your religion and be unbiased at the same time, it's been made impossible. Rational arguments are really only for people without binding attachments to any position.

So let those of us who want to learn about our traditional religions do so in peace, and let the more knowledgable continue to feed us with what they know. And let those who are against these religions and don't want to learn anything, visit other Christian/Islamic friendly threads.