₦airaland Forum

I will advise you take the teaching job, do lessons to earn more, do more academic upgrading phd, keep searching for any office work that catch your fancy aside marketing!! except your social and the street smart kind of guy, then go on with the marketing!! but I sense you are introvert.... stand to be corrected. all the best

am happy the way people are responding to encourage others meet their dreams. i intend to go to canada for MSc already applying to university of Alberta, married with two kids.though i have a supportive family, i intend travelling with my kids at once(it will ease my emotions). is anyone aware, if taking them will mar my chances of visa? tips to cope when we succeed or an advise on best measure to follow, maybe come for them after a while? am curious to know someone help pls!!!

sometimes i will be giving lectures to people or preaching in the dream. sometimes too i will be late for exams or get there without finding a sit to
settledown and finish my exams. am not a student, i work presently so it surprises me. just today wuz in a dream had plenty of cassava overflowing buckets i started arranging friends and relatives i will send them too, all of a sudden as if the base of the house we live in started caving in. someone please shed some light.

I will advise you to work with your family to resolve the issue but confront and report the priest depending on the facts you find out, especially his notion for embarking on marriage breakage mission. Personally between you and your wife alone have a long chat on the betrayal and insist on paternity test, looks can be deceptive if you rely on the fact that your kids are your look alike.

Generally people should concentrate more on worshipping God, loving others and rendering helps to the needy other than turning their priest, pastors etc. to their demi gods. I have come close to people who are supposed men of God and priest for that matter, most of them are materialistic and filthy.
Heaven at last should be our main aim!!!.

[sup][/sup][left][/left]is not compulsory your man must do house chores for you or at worst share it 50 / 50 with you.
most times we women cause problems for ourselves because we keep comparing our spouses with our neighbours, friends or relatives spouses. first understand your man, his beliefs, background, upbringing and strenghts before you embark on the journey of trying to force a horse to drink water.

Men generally love their free time at home just like kids. some are domesticated while most of them are not, so find out whom you are married to before you start sharing chores or having too much expectations from him in that regard. depending on your environment and other peculiar conditions, financial status and your ability to have help ( maybe relative or paid help), i believe we woman should manage our house chores and appreciate help when we get from our spouses, and free them when we don't. afterall some women don't help financially even when they are capable and some of such homes are still functional because the man is tolerant about it.

is all just maturity amongst mates, the way you make your bed....

pumpkin soup any day, again if i take lots of vegetable or fruit salad. but i like it cos
most times i feel lighter and relieved after purging.

He is very peaceful, kind and matured to a fault.
this endears him to all and sundry, am Blessed to be his wife.
my good God, thanks once more!

Nony J

well am really sorry for what your going thru but the way we make our bed sometimes...
you shouldn't have consented to that total finance disclosure. opening a new account will
bring so much trouble b.c he will believe you want to start controlling the affairs.
since you earn more and there is a general opinion that women breadwinners call the shuts, men with attitude problem display these acts and even more in a bid to prune the wings of their wives and some succeed in breaking their marriage.
i must commend your courage all the way and you are under obligation to make your marriage work, because is for better and for worse. you have to sit him down, talk to him gently and in a humble manner probably a day he is in a good mood. let him know you are supposed to take care of your family because they were there before him and will remain a part of you, and you need to look good too and be outstanding at your office and elsewhere.
marriage has no written formula, you use humility, understanding, truthfullness , love and above all prayers to continue to stir your own ship "marriage" until Christ come. most people face more challenges than you do,yet they are onboard and ones your out another sharp woman will enter and turn that man around.

My advice, Pls n pls, he is not yours. It is very glaring frm the way he talked to you concerning his stance on vows or oaths. Look somewhere else. Cheers.


i agree with the above response. the truth is true love is deep and forgiving. Dude wants his wife back and remember they have a son. if the reason for the divorce is true, she really hurt the guy, but i tell you real love will make him forgive her soonest and they will be back together. don't be a second fiddle for any man.  if you cherish the guy, help him reconcile with the wife. he will forever remain gratefull to you and God will bless you with a wonderfull man that will love you unconditionally the way this Dude loves his wife.

what am suggesting to you is difficult but in life we always get reward for sacrifices made. he belongs to her and that is  the hard truth.

i can see that your friend is yet to meet a man that deserves her(as per marry her) . at 28 she is ashamed of her condition and wants to hide her shame by doing it with you because she thinks men will value her more in relationship next time if she can sleep with them(which is a big lie). truth is her self esteem is now low and she believes she is getting old with her virginity believe.

please don't give up , don't do it else the friendship will die and she will not respect u anymore once she gets her groove back. just encourage her and pray for her.

The fact that he is not asking you for the help in the first place, shows he has conscience, ego and no plans to depend on you.
try to be more naturally generous as you say, so u will not feel bad helping and get the reward from God. Make sure he loves and later marries you because of love too,  very important else u won't be happy in marriage.  be patient he will pay u the loan, be wise about the help going forward since  your not too comfortable or used to it, so that it won't ruin the relationship.  
          Buying u the gift shows he appreciates u and not an ingrate too. But find out if his heart is with u, and not with a gentle sister down here. i see the guy to be the neat and clean type, not too ambitious (if not won't consider coming back to naija), question is,  outside cash, is he the type of guy u really want as a husband? is he ready for marriage cos i can feel u are over ready urself? take it one step after another and don't be pushfull on him cos it will backfire. all the best

to be candid with you i see no life or marriage threatening problem here. u need to communicate to your man verbally or if you feel emotions won't let , you could write them down when your alone exactly how you feel about the relationship and things he could do to make you happier. this is your choice of a life partner, make the best of him. except your fantasising with your ex or a new man and comparing the two. be careful because of your child.

I will use four words, Humble, Devoted , Hard working and an Achiever.

The Best Mum,

Dad was lovely to a fault and had great vision which is sustaining us where we are at the moment, i miss him daily,

Marriage can never be old fashioned. it is a Holy institution made by God for humans to enjoy. the benefits are quite enormous but the individuals
need to seriously and continuously work at it (Marriage) to survive. just like we take care of ourselves, our job etc. We need a whole lot of
patience, God;s grace , sincerity and above all genuine Love to succeed in marriage. People fail in marriage and either divorce or separate because
most of them are selfish, they don't want to make any sacrifice for their marriage to work. they want to eat their cake and have it while some
make it impossible for their wife/hubby to have peace of mind because they believe they are superior to them.
I am married and i tell you is a wonderfull experience . first make sure you marry whom you genuinely love, don;t be judgemental with your partner and in-laws , be very sincere in your words and actions and be ready to make sacrifice when necessary, God himself will fill your heart and home with Love and people will see happiness radiating in your face around you and within you.

Honestly i must say this a tight corner. but we have to face the realities in the environment we find ourselves in. presently u are the bread winner of your family and will continue to be for some years ahead until your student wife becomes economically empowered, a husband and a father of a young toddler and both need your presence and attention. i understand your kind of person that dislikes stress but u have to hold on more because is part of the sacrifice for the marriage. 1) think of relocating your wife to Lagos (prospect of getting a job for her is higher ) when she is done with schooling. 2) start searching for another job in a media house in Lag and possibly getting accommodation close to your work place. 3) you should also see if you can find a job in Abuja and relocate (the town is less stressfull than Lagos and good prospects too). but in all work towards being together with your family is very important whether the marriage is old or young. In Nigeria for now, Job satisfaction is still a Luxury. 90k cannot do much for you and your family, you should be aiming higher than 250k by being at the right place at the right time and developing yourself. my opinion shaa

how far with union bank house mates ?, any green light , info and update?

Dear fellow house mates, really want to write toefl exams how do i go about it, what materials do i need to practise with and where do i apply to write the exams? most university applications in the uk need the score, i really want to apply for msc abroad, thanks for ur quick replys ,lol

these gse guys are wicked oh, i tried to apply to other people with my score and the report said my result is not yet avialable for other companies which means the two months hostage is real, this naija when will the be free minded. what is wrong if ubn paid for people to write the exam? they are jealous that we should have paid direct to them, i guess ubn paid at a discount since we were many, gse people olee olee olee

sorry i really wanted to thank topup he is very wise , and not idupaul, the truth is we both love eachother but with all ur advise now i'v realised he is putting in place all the factors that distance can bring in into the relationship and placing the whole cards!!!!!!!! but the truth is that we don't like hearing our true love saying anything that suggest another person shd come into our lives. thanks all i appreciate ur love!!!!!!!!!!!

thank you idupaul, i've gained a lot of strenght from ur advise.

thanks Dear

we have being together since university days and he has got everything i want in a man, he will be leaving by sunday 14th for his masters in uk and greener pastures as usual, am hopeful in God but as a human being am so scared of loosing him to distance.  he said he will work hard towards our settling down but for any reason if i want to do otherwise by marrying another man i should inform him first! Am thinking if he is giving me a go ahead to check out other men or he is not sure of his ability to make it a reality cos he also said i cud work hard and join him ( if mohhamed cannot go to mountain, mountain should come to mohammed)[color=#006600][/color]   but the truth is with the job am doing now is almost impossible except God gives me a more financially rewarding job?  honestly am confused a whole lot of mixed feeling!!! am happy for him but for now am filled with a whole lot of mixed feeling,  we will be together on saturday i don't even know what  to ask him or what to say concerning our relationship! but i know what to tell him abt his academics

sweetheart put ur trus in God , if the man is yours Gpd will help put things in place for him fast so he can come for ur hand properly in marriage. but if he is going there to huzzle not as a geniune immigrant, he may do odd things like marrying a foreigner to find his feet and in the process may get stuck. but as ur scared he might cheat, don't cheat also urself untill yuo are supposed to, when is obvious is not working out again. best of luck[

i think ur paying for ur lack of faithfullness and concentration on ur fisrt relationship, because no two persons are the same u must find something different with another person and the feeling too. u can't also love them equally. get busy so u won't be demanding all the time in the world from ur man because marriage is for serious minded ladies. also pray to God because marriage is not about chosing the one u prefer amongst ur numerous lovers but about god's choice for u. maybe none of them is ur husband from God's record.

dat was how i met one dude one day i was stranded at the bus stop , he packed and picked me up. the only thing in his head for the relationship is sex , i ignored him and two weeks ago he resorted to sending me stinker tex msgs, i no do na by force. some nigaa guys can be very funnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

i think ur just worried uneccesarily, why don't u wait a little and watch events unfold at least till he goes back or 6 months after he has gone bak? he needs time to know uuuuuuuu come on u expected him to come bak and propose? do u know him well enough urself ? ? ? chatting or calling each other is not enough to say u know someone. or don't u care to know him urself? u shd even be more carefull b/c being abroad, has too many sides to it. Don't give an impression that ur desperate. marriage is not an end but a means to an end.

on my own, No cos i want to feel and know my man is my senior and on top of everyyyy, but to be sincere age has nothing to do with the Koko which is CHARACTER. once the guy is matured and on top of his game, he is good to goooooooooo

it will be difficult if u truely loved her and she didn't love u enough 4 her to be getting married to someone else, but as it is said guys are stronger emotionally but if it will make u uncomfortable, no need punishing urself. because u don't know her intensions for inviting u, it may be to show off to u , except u guys parted on a very good and matured way witout anyone taking advantage of the other person.

in my own opinion, i think he is very gifted in taeching the word of God. God gifted us differently as individuals and ministers too. for the miracle God knows best

if u love him u shd be humble enough to call him. as we ladys take our time to start romantic relationships more than the men, some guys too do same b/c some guys can be emotional too and may be he is that type. be humble enough to call him with time he will respond on same frequency with u. i beleive what will be will be.a man u even asked out urself migth turn out to mary u it doesn't really matter that girlish believe. go for him if u love him cos thats what i will do if i were u''''''''''''''''''''''