Baby mama: Dealing with inlaws

If I wrote everything I have known and learnt over the years,this site may crash but I'll keep it simple with tips on what works.
Women,let me say this first off,you can never ever win fighting your mother in law MIL.
You will always lose.
I am speaking from experience
Badmouthing your MIL to your husband is like stabbing the woman who bore him and gave him suckle right there infront of him.
No man with blood in his veins will take kindly to that.
No matter how bad she seems or you think she is,she is still his mother and he loves her and will not disown her because of you.
Save yourself the headaches and bouts of explosive diarrhoea and love the woman.
Bite your tongue if you have to.
Kill her with love even if for your husband's sake.

Understand that she's from a different generation and her ideas and interpretations are very different from yours.
If she had a polygamous marriage herself,cut her some slacks
If her husband abandoned her, cut her some more slacks
If she's illiterate,some more slacks.
If your husband happens to be the first son,only son or only child,try to be a little more understanding
Be a good reader of moods and be ready always to douse any tensions.

Having said all that ,there are some MIL's that are trouble makers and are bent on running a wife out of her home because she has an idea of a perfect wife for her dear son and it's not you.
These ones don't respond to love of any kind.
This is where the man must stand up and be a man because his mother has overstepped her bounds and he knows it.
He knows his mother and her capabilities way before he met you so an honest ,loving husband should not expect his wife to 'quench' trying to please an impossible mama.
Never confront mama, let your husband do the confrontation and make her leave if need be for everyone's sanity.
Anything you say in these instances will always be misinterpreted,so say very little if anything at all.

Some families actually do institute rules about inlaws not moving in permanently.
I wholeheartedly agree with that.
Anyone can visit but return promptly to their respective homes so it's clear who the madam of the house is and everyone else including your mom and his are guests.guests with a valid retun ticket to their homes.

sori to interupt, am married with a cute boy nd my marriage is over a year nw, am in my 20s so is my wife (pretty young huh) i love my wife dearly and everytin seems ok until couple of m0nths ago wen her m0m start coming nd trying to make decision 4 us, wenever she is around everyting in my house change,i no longer see my wife beside me watching movies or spending time together, al her time she spent them in the guest room with her m0m nd weneva she cums out her attitude changes nd she become angry at any word i speak,few days ago i reported her(my wife) to her aunt nd her aunt ask her, i dnt knw wat happen at the background bt after her aunt left a whole new fight erupted, dis time is my mother inlaw nd me which is quit absurd, she told me to my face that she once told her daughter nt to marry me for sum reason she neva gave bt she went ahead nd married me,she said some ugly stuf that am even ashamed to write here, and it was obviouse it because i told sum1 abt the whole tin she is doing nd al dis while she was naggin nd insulting me, my wife kept mute nd i neva said a word cos she told me she wil make her daughter leave me nd i wont be able to to take custody of my son til he is 7yrs(according to sharia law). . . .for weeks we never ve peace in the house cos everyday new issues keep coming up until she left abt 2weeks ago nd nw the wife i fell inlove with and married is back nd calm nw that for almost 2weeks nw we ve neva experience a slight agurement tlk more of exchanging words,we started eating together againg nd even spend time inside the kitchen together cooking nd cleaning, she is back to her funny loving ways. Bottom line is, its nt jst guys mums atimes thats the problem, i pray no guy experience dis again cos during dis hard periods my wife tinks i hate her mun nd she get vry defensive of her cos she taught i like looking down on her family nd nw her brothers stop talking to me nd nt even picking my cals for wateva reason i dnt knw nd al am doing is nt allowing other family members interfere with my decisions or trying to make a decision for my family cos the taught am young nd i ve tried so much to keep my own family away.

I need a gadget importer. . . Am into buying and selling stuff like blackberry fones, ipads, android fones like samsung fones and iphones. Am buying to resell pls if ur price is reasonable pls give me a call on 08038452528. . . . . Neneslim. . .
Note i dnt deal with scammer, i wil only pay for what i see in cash.

For the record, another arsenal rival is loosing already. Sunderland 1 - 0 totenham. . . . . Wat a saturday abi al of them they mourn Mandiba ne?

Atlast i made fp. Chai TGIF. I wan comment my reserve. Op close thread wait 4 me

Trachea: I am not surprised at the kind of response this thread has generated( so little). It only points to the kind of attitude nigerians show towards teaching. Everybody has this pipe dream of working in an oil coy or bank or multinational. I work in an international school and i must tell you that the op is not exaggerating. My take home is over 200k monthly and i have accomodation. some of my colleagues earn as much as 300-400k. A friend of mine just got a job as a vice principal for 750k in a new school. So instead of wasting away pounding the streets of lagos or ph, its better to start early and make something of yourself. @OP can we contact?

pls help me cos i ve passion 4 teaching bt i dnt knw where and how to apply in any sch. Am a graduate of banking and taxation frm an international university, i jst finish nysb bt the truth is i want to leave home and start anytin elsewhere far away frm home, hw much the sch wil pay is nt the problem cos am comfortable on my own i jst want to follow my dreams nd my passion is teaching. I cn send u my cv if u want.

slightlyMad: when i get 2 huge jugs wey i dey find person wey go help me fall am, ehn! some men wicked o

am interested in falling those jugs. . . Pm me make wey start na. . . Hehe i they wait.

I hope say no be diz water Gej drink wey go turn im belle 4 london cos mehn na any kain miracle tinz 4 2015 abi no be last wik baba presido sick so nd the water don they there then.

Mehn na wa 6. E cum be enugu again. . . Hw the water tak no say igbo ppl fit market am wey im appear as at the time wey naija economy no gud. Nxt tin u go see one ibo man they sel am 4 lagos. . . . Igbo kwenu! ! !

Permit me to say this, how on earth did gej allow this to happen? Cos even obasanjo warned him that u cnt loose 7governors to an opposition party wen u re close to an important election year where u re seeking re-election, beside apart frm amechi al of the other governors ve been in polities long before gej nd this guys re heavy weights in there states, forget the pdp syndrome if dis guys re nt strong in there state i swear to u they cnt win election, nd apart frm amechi, d rest of G7 govs re totally in control of there states, they re nt afta pdp in governorship election. They jst want to to fk gej up 4 taking them 4 granted. Listen sentimements aside this guys al ve notin to loose nw. Cal it bluff bt gej is seating on a löng tin nw and again he messed d situation cos Tukur cnt rig 2015 4 gej cos dis guys re master riggers nd if its true dat G7 is nw in apc then pdp 4get north cos even tukur cnt win his polling station 4 pdp.

luvinhubby:
Throttle body or the sensor(s) on it, that is the most probable culprit.

ok hw much is dis throttle body and its sensor(s) and hw many sensor. I nid a gear box mount aswel. Al for honda city. 08038452528

08038452528

Why im no go save that money 4 fueling cos 2kva no go even cari a duplex wit one a/c. Guy i knw wat am saying cos my inverter batris no last 5mnths.

akymme:

They use generator now, gen charges it bro. If you dont know something ask and stop using abusive words

U high? Wetin u wan make im take charge the inverter wey u wan sel am? Why some pls no the gt sense sef? Stewpid busu.

akymme: So sad to hear that, no light for more than 5 months, that's pathetic, anyway i will like to introduce you to power inverter

2.2kva Inverter costs 35,000 Naira
2 Battery 100amps 12v cost 50,000 Naira
Installation & Tfare 15,000 Naira

Total 100,000 Naira

Pls note that this quotation is for those in Lagos only.

Contact me on 08086943052, 08150645134

Thanks.

And some modafukaz wil be shouting gej til 2019. God punish u if u vote 4 that clueles drunkered again and God punish u mre if u vote 4 any nigerian man as president cos na chinko go beta 4 us as presido and Boko haram b0mb ur family in the north if u quote me.

Our job as iumans is to hold on to the thoughts of wat we want, make it absolutely clear in our minds what we want, and frm that we start to invoke one of the greatest laws in the universe, and thats the law of attraction. U become what u tink abt most, but u also attract what u tink abt most.
JOHN ASSARAF co author of the SECRET.[b][/b][color=#000099][/color]

9jacrip: Your engine seats are the culprits.

My car (accord 2004) put me through such.
The a/c in hold up na die - neutral used to save me the embarrassment when riding with girls.
I changed plug taya - platinum to regular etc till someone told me to try shaking the engine and if it moves then my mounts were bad. Changed th mounts/seat and it has been good - check with luvinhubby - if you're in Lagos. He's my supplier of parts I met on Nl

i ve the same problem, weneva i turn on my ac my car vibrate angrily. . .til nw i cnt find any solution cos my mechanic said it gear switch ,anoda said it faulty abs system nd some said its engine seats to be honest wit u am confuse. I jst nid help

My honda city 07/08 is givin me probs. Weneva i turn on the ac in trafick of at a slow start below 1 in the takometre it vibrate endlessly except i put in on neutral b4 it stops or reduce. Wat do i do cos diff mechanices has g!vin me different diagonise, some said it gear oil nd some said its engine seats whil some said its faulty abs system. Pls help

I need a gear seat nd an engine seat for 07/08 honda city and a complete ABS systen for the same honda city. 08038452528

bettermike: @ NENESLIM, I know exactly how you feel bro cos i've been there. I remember a time when things was realy realy rough for me. Most people seemed to be progressing but i was stagnant. A young man, who believed strongly in his business that sadly wasnt yielding at the time. I solely depended on my parents and my woman. Honestly, it was tough. Well, things are far better now. If you need someone to talk to everyday, please reach me via: *email removed*. I also feel like i need someone anonymous to talk to from time to time. It is well.

thanks mate.... couldnt find ur email adress again but here is mine. maybe we can talk. adozuka@YAHOO.COM

depressionkills:

Though our paths in life are different we have so much in common, I know how heavy a burden, the fear of filure is, trust me!! Just reread my OP!!
We live in a society that teach us that our worth as human is based on external things like a degree, a job, money, a car blabla and push us to chase unattainable dreams until they destroy us.
Fist you need to understand that YOUR WORTH IS UNCONDITIONAL!! OK?

When one look at this, one realise how foolish this is. We value oursleves with material things as if life was not the most precious thing on earth!! You are more than a car, more than a job, more than a Rolex watch bla bla. I just remember watching few weeks a go a movie called Fruitvale Station based on Oscar Grant's life and I cry myself to sleep.
Oscar Grant was one of these people the materialist and racist society deemed 'worthless': Black, unemployed, poor, drop out, teenage father, umarried, exconvicted.
But you know what made me cry To see how deeply loved he was by his mother, sister, girlfirned and especially daughters.
Seriously Bleep all that non important shiiitttt and talk to people who have been through seriosu illness and life threatening situations they will ALLL tell you that went you face death you understand that those fake pursuits do not matter. On you death bed, the last images you will see before dying will the images of your love ones, the moments you have spent together and cherished. Trust me, you will see no images of you at the office or washing your expensive car. I know it may be hard t understand because as depressed people, we all have this negative self-talk that tells us that we are useless, that everybody will be better off we us being dead. I know that voice very well but I can tell you this voice is a lie.

On 13 dec 2010, I was planning to kill myself, like I had everything ready I called my dad to told him god bye and told him that I couldnt anymore. I was so convinced that he would talk me down about my poor grades and lack of attendance because of my negative self talk that had manged to convinced me that I was absolutely useless. You know what he did/ He dropped on his knees and begged me not to do it. I had never seen him cry before, I didn't even know that my dad could cry. Trust me, if you kill yourself, and someone call you wife to tell her that you are in the hospital, the first thing she will say wont be 'has he found a job yet?' Nope!1 She will be distraught and break down. Your son needs you too just like Safina, Oscar Grant's daughter, misses her dad.
People are ignorant and they dont know how to love especially in Africa. Many thing that by being mean they are being helpful and call it tough love when hurtful words causes the biggest words to the soul.

Secondly, you have achieved a lot and you are a success!! Yep you!! You have achieved a lot I am sure. Start measuring success with things that matter. In the old days they would say that the wealth of a man is his family, his children. You have that, not many are as lucky as you. You managed to find the love of your life and she loves you back and is even supportive financially. This is a blessing, accept her love and support and do not take it as a sign that you are less than a man. She deems you to be man enough for her and it means a lot. You manged to graduate, not everyone can, I am one of them . You are surely a very wise and smart person I am sure. There is more to life than material things.
Life is a becoming. There is not right or wrong way to live, we are trying an doing our best with the cards we are dealt. You have achieved a lot. Even waking up, bathing, eating is an achievement for many depressed people who cant even get out of their bed. Please be kind to yourself dear.
There is this proverb that Robert Kennedy would always repeat, it is from a greek poet, I think his name is Aeschyllus or something like that: "In agony learn wisdom for the true nature of life is injustice" After JFK assassination, he slumped into a deep depression and didnt know what to do with his life. He was so depressed that he would even wear his brother's old clothes. You know what his pain taught him? That life was short and that he shall live a life true to his values for it to have meaning. He who was formely anti-communist and pro-vietnam war did a u-turn and start opposing it. He who didnt care for black people as a white rich privileged kid, started to support the civil right movement. His pain made him more compassionate to people despite skin color or origin differences, who were suffering like him. Through doing what he thought right ta the time even if he received a lot of flack from the democrats of the time, he healed his wounds. Maybe your pain is there to teach who are really there for you. Who will stand for you at your lowest, who has your back and really love you for you. Your pain may be there to help you weave deep bonds with people who REALLY LOVE YOU FOR YOU Please the judgmental naysayers because as Marilyn Monroe use to say: "If they cant stand you at your worst, they dont deserve you at your best"
Also a close door is often another that opens. Maybe you have a hobby or idea for a business and stuff, please dont be afraid to explore your internal resources.

STOP COMPARING YOURSLEF TO OTHERS, LIFE IS NOT A COMPETION. Stop trying to keep up with the Joneses and forget what matters. Have you ever thought about doing GRATITUDE LIST OR PRAYERS?
Basically list all the things you are grateful for that will sheer you up and help you see the glass half full and not half empty. When you compare yourself to other, your glass is always empty and you can enjoy the other full half. Stop doing that. We all go through things differently you know. Even the rich cry. Someone in your situation could be perfectly happy while those you envy may be under a lot of stress and just as depressed as you, you know. Maybe there are even people who have been trying t have children and cant.
I am not trying to put you down and tell you that there a people who have it worse than you, I hate when people do that because it invalidate you pain. YOUR PAIN IS VALID! What I have just trying to tell you is that we often think that the herb is greener on the other side and put ourselves down with pointless comparisons. Spend more them truly enjoying hwat you already have instead of dwelling on what you dont have. Love your son, your wife, your relatives.

Thirdly, stop blaming yourself for things BEYOND YOUR CONTROL!! We all know how the economy is especially in Africa. Milliosn have lost their jobs these past years and many are still jobless. If you look around you will see that many are unemployed too. Dont just stay focused on those who lives the high life and forget your blessing. if it makes you feel better, even I , have no job. I am just as jobless and my job prospects are very slim So you are a sucess form where I stand

I feel compelled to stop now because I think this post is too long lol

thanks alot. so so helpful, pls this is my email... adozuka@yahoo.com. mail me so maybe we can talk. thanks again.

I wishe there is a place that we can all meet in physical to discus this kind of problems. I wil realy help nd give more hope.

neneslim: Hi, thanks for having a thread like this, am a young man of 27yrs marrif early dis year nd av been blessed with a son, i used to be a very fun person,i have one of the best job nd a car to go wit it. I lost my job jst afta i fixed the date of my wedding, it was ok cos i was sure am gonna get anoda one bt til nw i cnt nd my wife has been taking care of the family,it became embarassing cos of the way her mum tink of me nd luk at everytin i do,anytime she is around she makes me feel very little nd frm then i started shutting the doors of my life to myself,i stay alone nd tink of so many tins nd even wan commit suicide cos so many tins happen as a result of nt having a job again,u knw hw it cn be being a hight flying banker to being jobles nd broke,the only tin i ve i my house nd everytin in it nd the car. So many times i wan go out bt no one to hang out wit cos al my frnds are busy wit there jobs nd no one wil wan listen to ur problems, most times i end up driving to the fields close to my house nd seat there nd cry cos i dnt knw hw i became such an embarasment. I became a burden to ppl around me,my wife has been there bt u culd feel she is nt free to do wat she realy wan do cos of the fear of ha mum.i jst nid ppl to talk to nd hang out wit jst friends cos am scared of fallen into that dark hole of depression.thanks alot to whoeva wan listen.

Hi, thanks for having a thread like this, am a young man of 27yrs marrif early dis year nd av been blessed with a son, i used to be a very fun person,i have one of the best job nd a car to go wit it. I lost my job jst afta i fixed the date of my wedding, it was ok cos i was sure am gonna get anoda one bt til nw i cnt nd my wife has been taking care of the family,it became embarassing cos of the way her mum tink of me nd luk at everytin i do,anytime she is around she makes me feel very little nd frm then i started shutting the doors of my life to myself,i stay alone nd tink of so many tins nd even wan commit suicide cos so many tins happen as a result of nt having a job again,u knw hw it cn be being a hight flying banker to being jobles nd broke,the only tin i ve i my house nd everytin in it nd the car. So many times i wan go out bt no one to hang out wit cos al my frnds are busy wit there jobs nd no one wil wan listen to ur problems, most times i end up driving to the fields close to my house nd seat there nd cry cos i dnt knw hw i became such an embarasment. I became a burden to ppl around me,my wife has been there bt u culd feel she is nt free to do wat she realy wan do cos of the fear of ha mum.i jst nid ppl to talk to nd hang out wit jst friends cos am scared of fallen into that dark hole of depression.thanks alot to whoeva wan listen.

JudismphD: Send me a mail on g_uju@yahoo.com

sent u a mail already.

a very clean sony ericson xperia arc S for sale at a give away price.
8 mega pixel camera,
android os ginger bread
white in mint condition and lots of apps including bbm.... white pouch nd charger
price is 23k.
interested call
08038452528

Hello nairalander, I ve passion for business and I like taking on new things as far as it has a return no matter how minimal it is... I have this idea of printing recharge card but I dont know where and how to start. pls NL help get me started. Capital is not the problem. I just need the proceses and whats involve. thanks

PLS SIR HELP ME CHECK THIS VIN I BEG U. I WANT TO BUY THIS CAR BY MONDAY. THANKS
MRHGD66387P060843

Can you swap it with N95 8G and cash. quote author=Gbade60]iphone 4s 4 sale @35k or swap. Call or watsapp 08033897593[/quote]

A very good friend called me this morning to tell me the girl he is so much inlove with is a.transgendered. for those that dont know what transgendered is, they re the special people GOD created with both male and female organs. They starting flirting at each other on facebook cos the girl is damn beautiful and hot(i was jelouse wen i saw her pictures on his fone) several months on it developed in a real affection cos the reside in akwa ibom and he is in lagos. To cut the long story short 7months of flirting and high intensed online love they decided to meet and they as usually too a week out from work to travel to akwa ibom to se her (am sad cos i ran his shift throughout last wee, wat a waste) they finally met and they spents so much time together at his hotel without doing the thing cos he doesnt want her to think is.all about S*E*X, wanted to wanted to take it to another level sha..... Yesterday she served him a very nice homium meal at the hotel and after that she told him she want to share a secret.with him cos she believe she owes him that and she loved him alot. Unfortunately he discovered she is a transgendered and she opend the tin for him to see. She has a lil D but beside a whole but according to her it doesnt stand at all and at 23yrs she is still a Virgin. My frined said she saod her doctor told her it wont stop her from giving birth and she ovulate normally but they cant operate it out cos its dangerous and there is a kind of connconnecti between the d*ck and the virgina. He ask me for advice cos he is confuse. He Said he cant just make the feelings go away because the lady in question is very nice and good looking with a good sense of humour but he doesnt know if
she is nice because of her naturally condition or she is just built nice naturally plus he already ask her to visit lagos next week. pls nairalanders i know u guys can help pls advice