A father passing by his son's bedroom, was astonished to see the bed was
nicely made, and everything was picked up. Then, he saw an envelope,
propped up prominently on the pillow. It was addressed, "Dad."
With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and read the letter,
with trembling hands.

Dear Dad,
It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you. I had to elope
with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mum and
you. I've been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice, but
I knew you would not approve of her, because of all her piercings,
tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is so much
older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad. She's pregnant.
Stacy said that we will be very happy. She owns a trailer in the woods,
and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of
having many more children. Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that
marijuana doesn't, really hurt anyone. We'll be growing it for
ourselves, and trading it with the other people in the commune, for all
the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS, so
Stacy can get better. She sure deserves it!!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday,
I'm sure we'll be back to visit, so you can get to know your many
grandchildren.

Love, your son, John.


P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I'm over at Tommy's house. I just
wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school
report that's on my desk. I love you! Call when it is safe for me to
come home.

You Irish? If you haven't heard of bungie jumping and handgliding, ignore it

British humour

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her
right away.
She said, "But we don't know anything about each other."
He said, "That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along."
So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon
at a very nice resort. One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got
up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 metre board and did a two and a
half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which
point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife. After a few
more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, "That was incredible!"
He said, "I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you
we'd learn more about each other as we went along."
So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing laps. After
seventy-five laps she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her
towel and was hardly out of breath.
He said, "That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?"
"No," she said, "I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both
sides of the river."

The future!

Two Irishmen walk into a pet shop in Dingle. They head to the bird section
and Gerry says to Paddy, "Dat's dem."

The owner comes over and asks if he can help them.

Yeah, we'll take four of dem dere little budgies in dat cage up dere,"
says
Gerry.

The owner puts the budgies in a cardboard box. Paddy and Gerry pay for the
birds, leave the shop and get into Gerry's truck to drive to the top of
the
Connor Pass. At the Connor Pass, Gerry looks down at the 1000 foot drop
and
says, "Dis looks like a grand place."

He takes two birds out of the box, puts one on each shoulder and jumps off
the cliff.

Paddy watches as the budgies fly off and Gerry falls all the way to the
bottom, killing himself stone dead.

Looking down at the remains of his best pal, Paddy shakes his head and
says,
"Fook dat. Dis budgie jumping is too fook'n dangerous for me!"




, THERE'S MORE,




Moment's later, Seamus arrives up at Connor Pass. He's been to the pet
shop
too and walks up to the edge of the cliff carrying another cardboard box
in
one hand and a shotgun in the other.

"Hi, Paddy. Watch dis," Seamus says.

He takes a parrot from the box and lets him fly free. He then throws
himself
over the edge of the cliff with the gun.

Paddy watches as half way down, Seamus takes the gun and shoots the
parrot.
Seamus continues to plummet down and down until he hits the bottom and
breaks every bone in his body.

Paddy shakes his head and says, "And I'm never trying dat parrotshooting
either!"




, IT IS NOT OVER YET,





Paddy is just getting over the shock of losing two friends when Sean
appears. He's also been to the pet shop and is carrying a cardboard box
out
of which he pulls a chicken. Sean then takes the chicken by its legs and
hurls himself off the cliff and disappears down and down until he hits a
rock and breaks his spine.

Once more Paddy shakes his head. "Fook dat, lads. First dere was Gerry
with
his budgie jumping, den Seamus parrotshooting, and now Sean and his
fook'n
hengliding!"

Hybrid cars like the toyota prius return about 65mpg but there are also diesel cars like the Audi A3 1.9d and BMW 118d that return 50+ mpg.

Your parents have lived their lives. Live yours and give your kid a good start in life. Also try to make them understand that she is the one you love and want to be with.

Comon people. The poor guy is pouring his heart out to who ever is willing. we should try to advise rather than ridicule. Or just plain ignore.

BMWs are reliable and cheap to run. on most of them, the fuel consumption and bhp is one of the best you can get compared with any other car of a similar engine size. In a recent 'what car' survey of a 100 cars, the most reliable car was the Honda (accord and civic) followed by the Lexus (IS), BMW was ranked 7th. The cost of servicing a BMW engine is no more than you'd pay for a Ford or Honda with a similar engine size. The only difference is that BMW garages tend to have high labour costs so it is wise to find an independent BMW specialist garage.

Good.

do you go to bars/clubs in hertfordshire?

naijacutee:

I know i'm being a whinger but half of the clothes in the galleria are outdated so London had better be 20 mins away! Too bad it's not free to travel into london as compensation for the state of the town.

Are you saying if I offered you a lift to Brent cross, you'd accept?

naijacutee:

We have 1 x ASDA, about 4 off-licenses or less in total, 2 x chinese restaurants, 1 indian and 3 pizza shops. That's whats wrong.

but you also have the Galleria! and London is just 20 minutes away.

Just valued a 1996 2.0Slx model on what car (http://www.whatcar.co.uk/valuations.aspx) and it came up at btw £450 and £ 695 (116,276 - 179,582 in Naira). So a 1995 model must be worth btw £350 and £500.

English1:

Wow I bet they are queuing up!

yeah. the queue is becoming unmanageable. about to turn into a full scale riot.

NTA is a government controlled station. They will therefore always be biased towards the people in power.

Efani,

have fun, use protection and don't fall in love. Believe me, opportunities like this don't come around very often.

I believe thats about £550 which makes it underspeced and too expensive. This is an example of what you can get for about the same price: Acer laptop with Intel Core 2 Duo processor Plus 120GB hard drive, 1GB RAM and a 15.4" widescreen display, Shared graphics: 224MB or for about £500 you can get a Dell InspironTM 6400 Intel® ® Centrino T Duo Mobile Technology with Intel® ® Core T Duo processor T2050 (1.60GHz 2MB L2 Cache 533Mhz FSB Genuine Windows® XP Home Edition 512MB 533MHz DDR2 SDRAM 15.4" Widescreen WXGA (1280x800) 60GB Serial ATA Hard Drive (5400 RPM)

Have you considered solar energy?