₦airaland Forum

timi

Are you by any chance insinuating that because the women does not have good relationship with their maker, they deserved what happened to them or their marraiges, your arrogancy and selfrighteousnes stink to high heaven, i wash my hand completely off you, you cannot be rehabilitated. see you on the other side.

@Efe,

dont you know; according to our own "marriage mender" and all the other 'marriage menders'we know, they must have told the poor women on how God does not like divorce; of course with bible quotation. 'she should be grateful that she had a husband (even though he is an animal in human form) pray ceaselessly for him, a wise woman builds her home while a foolish woman destroys it'. At the end, the women would end up destroyed like in this case.

it doesnt get better with these bible thumpers. They are the worst kind i tell ya.

haaaa, You see what i mean, you dont talk while he is talking,. if you do you have insulted him. he cant take what he is dishing out. Trust me, you cant withstand my insult if and when i start with you. continue to brainwash the low self esteem women like you "Mr. Marriage mender"

manipulative hypocrite.

Let me make this clear; When a man expects that his wife MUST contribute finacially before he accomplishes things at home, then there is problem and when a woman expects that a man MUST assist in chores at home, then there is equally a problem. Peace out!

@Timijo,


hehehe! marriage mender indeed! I can imagine the couple, wife in this case,watch you spewing gabage all in the name of mending her marriage - "be submissive to your husbad, dont argue with him, cook for him, wash his clothes, even wipe his bum after using the toilet" of course with bible quoatation to back it up, after all he is your husband and head of your home even when its obvious the man is maltreating the wife. I pity your clients, "marriage mender"

i still maintain, you are a manipulative hypocrite.

@ Dayo,

i dont know if you are married. In case you are and this your arguement is working for you, then Goodluck. However if you are not, i suggest you mellow down, change your mindset, pray to God to bless your handiwork so as to take up your God's given responsiblity irrespective of how much your wife is making. In such a way you can live a happy and contented life. I said all these because i have noticed anytime the issue of money is mentioned between couple, you are quick and eager to blame women on why is obligatory they must contribute in their household. (take note, it is good to contribute, but please dont force it) This is an advise.

@ siena

why are you wasting your precious time arguing with him. Obviously, he is a manipulative bible thumper. If you check well, his type manipulate, blackmail and abuse their wives and then use bible quotation to shut them up. Hypocrites!

@Timijo,

You are so bent on forcing your wife(ie if you have any) to remain in abusive marriage.it wont work. She has decided not to take your bullshit any longer and you are being afraid. No amount of manipulation, bible quotation will stop her. Therefore, if you still want the marriage, you better go on your knee, beg your wife and change your abusive behaviour otherwise she will divorce you and leave with her children.

my cousin's husband was autocratic, corrosive solo and semi husband, all roll in one. He is now ex husband.

lastpage: Hmmmmm......there is so much "LESSON" in this episode!

If only we know "what the future will bring", l guess we will be more guarded in our actions and utterances!

The lesson is in-between that line!

Another "marriage" is broken beyond repair.
Love has died, hearts are torn apart, hatred is replacing love, "fight-over" is replacing "sharing together", Soul-mates have suddenly become Adversaries!

Is this what marriage is all about?
Why dont people "step back" and take a deep breath, (even when they have been wronged, and they are in the right, Yes, you deserve to get angry) ......to try and realize that there is a "bad way" of "claiming your right"?

People may pretend, but l am yet to see anyone who got "happier as a result of divorce"!
They make act out, pretend and experience some short-lived flash of relief (in case of abusive relationships) but at the end, in the long run, SORROW, REGRET, TEARS and EMPTINESS is all that is passed on, after the divorce.

Cant we just do everything possible, even beyond "possible", to create an understanding that would make marriage work?
Every broken marriage is a dream ruined! The dream of "two hearts that were beating as one"...as one before now!
It could have been worse, if children were involved!

This one broke down because they wanted children, another one where the @OP was deeply involved, broke down because of those same children!

Aaye'le! This world is agonizing, to put it mildly.
(shakes head and saunter-off unhappily)

Lastpage

in your own opinion, married couple are more happier than divorcees irrepspective of their reason(s) for the divorce. You have no idea. iam sure they (divorcess)must have confessed to you about their feelings for you to arrive at this assumption. You are too intelligent for this.

Assuming a married man exhibits this kind of behaviour, disrespected the wife's parents confronting her younger siblings to stop coming to his house (the wife have been paying the house rent since the inception of the marriage) to the extent of arresting the sister with police and alleging threat of life in order to do just that. Invariably, asking the wife to choose between him and her family.

Dr,

Is staphylococus aureus and candidiasis easy to be cured, and would they be able to prevent one from conceiving.

How are they contacted.

Dear Kosky,

Please what is the best drug for the treatment of Candida and Staphylococus aureus.  Is the staph a sexual transmitted disease.
Also can they prevent someone from getting pregnant.

Doc, you are doing a great job, keep it up. Please i need you to assist determine my ovulation period, i recently got married and have been TTC for about 5 months now. I run 24/26 cycle, recently it has changed to 23/ 27 days. Thanks for your prompt response.

Pray and also shine your eye.

Pray and also shine your eye

Thanks Orikinla for your wonderful advice.

Honestly, you just had me thinking seriously.  Pastor Bimbo!, May her gentle soul rest in perfect peace, would have really helped in this case, but in any case I will go and meet with another good pastor.  I also think that I really need to work on myself, let go some certain things and see if my love for him will develop more and trusting God for any other thing that will be added unto it.

Thank you once again.

Thank you guys for all your advice. The Ladies are not talking to me, please i need your opinion.

kitaun:
Why shy away from the truth? This thingy would hit the rocks soon as the deceit gets uncovered, she should give herself a soft landing and look beyond this 40yr old bachelor thats prolly got a kid somewhere!

I am too sure he doesn't have a kid somewhere.

niyooo:
@ topic,

I find it quite difficult to believe that a guy that claims to be a lawyer in Nigeria still has nothing to show for all his efforts at 40!! The age thing doesn't really matter but as you rightly said, marriage is not something you rush into and please forget what anyone says about your age it's better you marry the right person than rush into marriage with a wrong person only to regret it for the rest of your life. Are you sure he's a lawyer? When was he called to the bar? What has he been doing since he was called to bar? Are you sure he has a certificate? (Not Oluwole certificate o). Do you know his friends/colleagues? What do they do? All these are issues you should think about before u rush into anything so that you don't end up taking care of not only your children alone but him as well. I wish u luck. But i'll advise you to do some serious praying and soul searching.

I appreciate your words of encouragement;
Yes he is a practicing lawyer and was called to bar 5 years ago, precisely, year 2002. Though he worked in someone else's chamber and was owed for over a year according to him when he later resigned late last year to set up his own chamber as soon as he gets enough cash. Actually, he studied Accountacy as first degree and then law in Masters Degree. I also know some of his friends/colleagues who are lawyers and politicians.

[quote author=Orikinla link=topic=38251.msg857455#msg857455 date=1170334038]You are 30 and still single?

Women don't tell their real age.
When a lady says she is 30, she could be 35.

If you are 30 and he is 40 and he is an attorney, you better hook him now that he is yet to buy a car and have his own house, because once he gets regular income, a car and a house, you will lose him to younger babes and even older women who will now compare him to the Nollywood hunk RMD.

There are a million and one younger women out there who are ready to snatch him.
And they will even tell him that at 30, you are too old for him.

You better play your cards well.

Finis.

I am sorry you dont know me, I am 30 and I am 30 and not one of those women that lie about their age. I dont see any reason lying about my age when I know Iam talking about something serious. I dont have complex neither have all my mates gotten married. I also know my level of achievement at this age (30 yrs) and believing God to crown all my success with his own approved soul mate ( Be it the Lawyer or any other guy). So the issue of lying about age does not arise. (NO OFFENCE, ORIKINLA)

NOTE: He doesnt know about these achievement even though i dont have a car yet for some reasons best known to me.

Thanks.[/quote]

Not that I am materialistic or dont love him, far from that, but i believe when it comes to serious issue like marriage, there are also some important factors that need to be taken into consideration which applies to both men and women. I am worried because of his age (40 yrs, which i practically emphasized). Not knowing when he will be able to acquire those basic necessities of life because as far as Iam concern, they are not luxury and children will be taken care of. Those cannot be achieved without laying a proper foundation. However, I am not leaving everything for him to take care of , but i would first of all want to see him live up to his responsibility as a man.

Thanks

This is my first time on nairaland.

Iam 30 yr old beautiful lady dating a 40 yr old lawyer (bacherlor), he loves, cares and respects me a lot. We dated for just 4months (Dec. to April) and had proposed to me (even though i have not accepted/rejected it) before we had a misunderstanding based on some issues which I know he has plans for them. Late last year (November) he started calling me and pleaded that we reconcilied and iron out our differences, eventually I visited him this january and we reconcilied. But in my inner most heart, I'm worried beause;

(1) I don't know If Iam wasting my time and energy with him because of his age and not being ready to get marry
immediately.

(1) I don't believe that a man of 40 yrs old doesnt have a steady paying job even though he read a professional course
and dont know how long is going to take him to establish like buying a car, owning a house, start his own law chamber and even take care of the wife and children considering his age.

(2) He doesnt dress the way I would want him to dressed; like a young man ( i try to teach him that)

(3) He complains that he doesnt know where i stay and that I am not proud of him (which is true. because I want to
be sure its him i want to settle down with).

(4) I also want to know if the age difference betwwen us is something i should over looked.

Please your sincere advice are needed no matter how hurt I am going to feel.

Thanks.