₦airaland Forum

MadCow1: [b]As a Student in school, one Sunday whilst at church, my phone rang and when I answered, it was the sweetest and most angelic voice I have ever heard in my life. Barely 30 seconds into the conversation, I realized she had called the wrong number and I was a bit reluctant to tell her but I did and she apologized and hung up.

I couldn't help myself so I called her and complimented her voice and told her how melodic her voice was and all that sweet nothing we guys say, she was a good sport and laughed but didn't take Offence nor hang up. I told her I would call her from time to time just to hear her say hi and she didn't object. I got back to the hostel and told my homies about my encounter and one of them said he also had a similar experience and that he is currently holding steady chats with his own unknown caller on the phone. After several chats, I enquired about her location and the chances of us meeting and she said 'Accra'.. Accra was quite the distance from my school and the roads where horrible. 6 hours plus.

Anyways, it was on.. I was already looking forward to meeting the finest girl I would have ever met who had the sweetest voice I have ever heard. A couple of months down, I was in Accra and I called her up and set up a meeting and she agreed.

D-Day arrived and I went to the designated bus stop just near a filling station and waited for the arrival of my Swan princess. As I stood there, I caught the sight of a beautiful girl walking in my direction, my heart froze and I stood transfixed on her hip as it swayed like a pendulum ball from side to side with every step she took in my direction. The closer she got, the faster my heartbeat. She was tall, dark skinned, slim body build, too slim for the arsse she was carrying on her slender waistline, pretty face, perky boo-bs and wore a fitted jean that made all her asset stand out. I was stunned and even started panicking as I doubted I wouldn't stutter in the presence of this Pochahuntas looking goddess.Then she picked her phone up and started making a call and my EKG spiked. when she started speaking and walked past me, my heart sank.. It was not her. I continued waiting. Several hot Babes kept walking past that at some point I might as well have been at a runway modeling show. A few minutes passed and nothing. Just then I saw another babe walking slowly and looking confused as though she was looking for someone.

Immediately, my Spidy-Sense started tingling fast. Jesus Christ of Kumasi, this babe was Ugly as fhuck. I immediately took cover and watched her movements from behind my hiding place. The girl stopped, head looking around, she picks her phone and dials a number, I felt my phone vibrate and the voice of James Blunt came out his speakers singing 'You're beautiful'.. FHUCK THAT!! I slapped the phone silent and contemplated my next move. I can't be caught with this Ogre in broad daylight, my reputation would be ruined. So after a few seconds, I answered and Lo! She was the one calling me, I could see her lips moving in sync with the voice in my ears. immediately I sap tarted retreating and told her I had to run off as one of my mates called with an emergency that please we should reschedule our meeting. She looked disappointed but said cool and I fixed a new meeting for later that evening. After she left, I came out my hiding place and ran for my life.. That line has never been used again since that day.

That's my story..

moral Lesson: Never judge a face by its voice. [/b]

blank: My parents know how much i earn and i knew how much they earned before they retired. No big deal there.

However, it works for us because we grew up in a home where there was transparency and accountability.

Chillisauce: It depends. Me i never try it o.

After my NYSC, i got a job and they required us to fill a home and mobile no. in the bank account form. I used my dad no as home and used my no as mobile.

Whenever i come home, my dad keeps telling me he always sees an alert from a certain bank. I told him that it may be 419 guys. That he shouldnt even respond to it.

Then something happened, i was gonna withdraw a certain money for my dad to give to my brother, and he knew i was on my way to the bank. Few minutes after i took the cash, my dad called me and asked if i just left the bank, i said yes, na dia wahala start.

The man laugh ooo and said to me, " so its actually your bank statement that had been coming to my phone" . Na dia i wan die.
I rushed back immediately to the bank and ask the officer to change my home no.

Funny enough, they never did, when ever they pay salary, my dad will call me saying " chilli, its been paid oh, how far" lol.

Omoh, i ran back to the bank requesting to see the manager ASAP! And i made sure they changed the phone no. before i left.


Uptil now, he still laugh about the whole thing and never forgets to put my name for some kin church donations when i don tell am say i no dey go church again. All because he knew how much i make
Phewww... Long story dis night.

Your choice!

DJDOLA: U be kerosene?

chymystique: The babe is Cute.. HML to the newest couple


And who is dt black dude on that dirty coloured vest or wah ... He spoilt d pix. Shouldn't ve bin thr

1supremo: Now that's a plus for Nigeria! Which other country has the technology that makes buckets explode?

I need your candour here bro; would you have loved your explosive bucket better if it had given you some warnings?

Would you be happier if the explosion occured on a certain night as opposed to the daytime explosion programmed on our present stock?

Should we readjust the timer and sensors on our detonation device to implode when it is empty so as to prevent loss of water(which you seem not to like) and ensure maximum human casualty?

(We need your user-experience feedback to help us give you value for money.)

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Thanks

Management

Incendiary Bucket© Limited

wheesin: First and foremost....i want to thank Jah aka God for creating me and my hands plus finger that am using to type...baba u toomuch....second of all i want to thank my dear padi..KII KEYBOARD for encouraging me even when nairalanders were always bfore me....ese....i also want to thank airtel for the awesome speed it gave me to move on even .wen mtn said no...airtel said yes.,..and lastly...i want to thank mum and dad for purchasing dis fone and for BORNING me....



I knw u mit be wondering.....wat is STRONG wit dis boy....wat is he thanking for...but u knw wat...i made front page in my month august....am so HARPIC...GOD BLESS ME WITH MORE FPAGE BLESSINGS AND UNLIMITED data...Amin.




Ohhhh ? I forget....olamide chillax with ur songs.....ur latest track FUJI GARBAGE IS A GARBAGE AND MEANLESS...ESE...??

rukkierae: Pls I recharge my account with *885*pin# and I try to renew my bis only for mtn to tell me I can't renew my bis with that acct.I was told to load anoda 1500 with *556*pin#.pls wat can I do?

Pastor Olu T: Can't stop laughing, is this for real? Something else is now in the church

Tolexander: na her reaction just dey laff me and something like a white pant.

orgasticdance: all dis bus runs, wetin be the right sitting strategy, tired of sitting next to yam sellers biko

Tolexander: This confluence of current gurl of mine and i was a miracle by mistake and coincidence!

I entered into a toilet in school which the first letter(s) fem/m had been rubbed off leaving the last 3 letters, ale and i saw a pretty young lady trying to draw up her skirt after pissing, on sighting a guy entering, she felt shocked and wanted to hastily zip up the skirt and the zip got detached from the skirt making the skirt to draw down below her kneels
. When i unconsciously saw what happened, i couldn't control the laugh impulse from my cerebellum and medula.
After leaving the toilet, i saw her going through my route to the hostel and told her i was very sorry for the scene created in the toilet. She asked me why i had to enter into a female toilet, a female toilet! I retorted. Told her i never knew it is for the female that the tag was confusing. We exchanged pleasantries, and phone numbers when we were about to depart. Later we started exchanging calls and messages.

Here we are presenting to you the boyfriend of the lady met in the toilet.

The previous gf of mine was a little younger than me, close to a year.
Her mum and mine used to call us husband and wife when we were babies cos we are family friends.

The husband and wife our mums called us then translated into boyfriend and girlfriend cos the foundation of the 'parol' had been laid by them, all we needed was to build a structure on the foundation which we did. But unfortunately, we couldn't roof the structure creating a marriage from it.