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Nairaland Forum / Entertainment / Literature / My Book Of Rants! (78657 Views)
Collection Of My Rants / Nairaland Book Of Puns- Lovers Of Wordplay, Let's Pun! / My Book Of Quotes (2) (3) (4)
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Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 5:52pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
Here you go princess. Catch! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 6:04pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
whats it with people And bikes?admit you Like it or gi stick your head into sand Ha kilode? Dont you think you are too old 4it? Why waste money,? Why not change your car? Its juvenile? Which lady would date a biker can you outspeed a car? Its dangerous? Do you have a girlfriend?what is she saying? Nigerian roads arent good Why are you trying to act western Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeish Leave me da §^&% alone! Its my life, My passion My vent My thrill My drug The high for me I would prolly outlive most of you leave me alone! No i wont give you a ride No i wont race you No i wont stunt just for your thrill No i wont drive to work No i wont tell you how much i got it Get a life would you? Go rub your ass on a tree, Or go yakk on someone else My fist is getting itchy My helmet could in honest mistake hit you in the face I fell,so what? Did you pay my bills? so please dont question me about my bike for i dont question you about your wife! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 11:00pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
lazy bum they call me But i know better Its hard just being me was born this way,you see Not that am sorry i about it Go eat shit if you hate me for being me Fair coat,handsome,free and a prince Truth is if i were you,i would hate me too Lil kim said that first Whats that scent? Better yet who that chick? Ass soo fab,skin so fresh I was born for this i know instinctly Women. Its time to get my mack on and skillz to play Truth be told Virgin i am But mad skillz i know i got No one taught me jack Watch and learn Me:hi sexy Her:hi handsome Me:wanna shag? Her:i was hoping you would ask,i was born for this and you ***you see peeps,its that easy,maybe not for all of us sha,now its time to go to my shag pad** me:dont stirp i wanna take you this way Her:hmmmm ****her warmth fills me awww,no one said it would be this good Faster she says Faster,i go Harder she screams harder,i pound Hold me she moans I held onto her like my life depended on it Pleasure springs from the pit of my belly,spinning harder n harder Wooooooooooooooooh am coming,am coming,am coming My loin.s on fire,pleasure pain,i pound faster,pleasure,pain,pain,pain,pain excrciating pleasure em pain.lights fade I cant feel my legs,i open my eyes to see her walk away from me.wait isnt that my:::::::: I look down,what used to be my lower half,,is now a ,mass of strands,am dying,her words i hear!!!!!!!! Thankyou,now you would be the father of thousands Then it hit me. I havent ever met anyone like me, Who ever had sex What we desire kills us Our pleasure brings death A hollow laugh escapes me I would give my fading breath to be ugly Not to have this wings Alas its not to be, Thus this is my story The story of the drone |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by kay9(m): 11:26pm On Nov 08, 2008 |
And finally I'm posting at the Rantster's rant thread; never thot the day would come. But I ain't here to rant - at least, not yet. Maybe on Monday i will, right after Mr Muck-a-Muck gets done eating my head for exceeding my deadline for the 4th day; never mind that it's his mess i'm cleaning up. Hey Blaze, been to Tgirl's celebrity thread yet? She's been asking for your head for days now, thinks you're cute nd you write 'touching' things. Tell me whn you get interviewd; would luv to see what picture she comes away with. |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by iice(f): 6:12am On Nov 09, 2008 |
Granson, just passed by to say hey |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 9:25am On Nov 09, 2008 |
thanks granny as always With eyes wide open Senses seemingly alert The tiger got itself into this situation But wait, Why leave the preys,why expose yourself to being preyed on? The comfort of your lair,has lost its zing? The journey sought,ends at the den of the lioness. the tiger prides itself as being ready to face Face adversity on scales he has never reached Haha Pity i feel for it,yet pride swells in me for the journey it takes,is that of convinction,fate,hope The lioness,has in a state of being unaware hypnotised its victim It took less than the circling of predators To have the tiger drown But the tiger isnt without its own arsenals All he has thrown,seems to unfaze, but the recent softening stance,gives tiger hope,suddenly mental picures of tigerons fill his mind:::::: To be or not to be? That is the question. :::::::::::::::::::::::disclaimer:::::::::::::::::::: No,am not mad,nor angry, just rambling mindlessly,lioness n tiger just seems to catch my fancy thats all This i repeat is mindless ramble,its not even,who do you call it?yeah introspective thinkin Hahaha |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gamine(f): 1:48pm On Nov 09, 2008 |
Oh my! Where are we heading To the end of the Rainbow, he says theres always a pot of Gold. Theres always trouble with you now, let me go, fly away on Virgin wings |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 12:12pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
ok::::::::::: What kinda bug Caught gami,last night And how come sisikill hasnt ranted here yet? The ranters rants Sir rantalot Was born into the familiy Of sir n lady rantanot Ever since he was born He knew,he was different Brilliant,naughty,intelligent And dry wit,were some of his many traits Never one to keep his opinion to himself Which means manyatimes,beat he got beaten But stop he would not stop Teachers werent spared from his tirades Once in primary5 he told his teacher neva to touch him again,a message relayed fron his father,suffice to say aghast the teacher was Secondary hell oops school was hell Military school was prison,his tongue curled by force,even the gestapo have noting on the mode of operation of the sadist here,soap he had to stick in his mouth once,lick he had to lick ,thus the animal within came to fore Evil he became Cruel he was Unfeeling was his norm University is a rant for another day |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 1:32pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
Master Rantalot. How's it going? @Gamine. I saw an id Gaminechic somewhere. Is it you or another being? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gaminechic: 7:06pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
Vesc, Yup its me and im using all my will power to stop myself from Ranting |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by omoovie(f): 9:29pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
@ Gamine The first few lines are metaphors using the character Claire Bennet in Heroes but really, that's all me. I was very depressed that day. The next day I listened to Yesew sew by Aster Aweke, Pot Belly by Freshlyground and Roof on Fire by Jazzman Olofin and was back to my bouncy self. |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 9:38pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
gami what did thou do To warrant banning? And so you know the essence of the Thread,is to let it all out,rant but dont abuse Am sure you can let it all out in a prose |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 10:28pm On Nov 10, 2008 |
i feel like screaming Not in anguish But in frustration Someone once told me the world doesnt Revovle around my belly button, and i go i like Why shouldnt it,am more confused than sane,am more annoyed than smiling certain things i crave aint going my way If i were a child i would scream n break a plate The latter i already did, am sure my neighbours would think am going nuts or its an invasion of rats,what with plates breaking Why o why Why cant i have the stars When i want it? Why cant i use the sun a my personal light Why wont fate dance to be tune? Why cant i be undisturbed Why cant i be a bit patient Why cant i focus my energy Why cant i change departments Why cant she be mine Why dont i know my talents Why cant i be more forgiving Why cant i be driving the maybach Why cant i be riding the hayabusa Why cant i get the resolve to quit smoking Why cant i spring up with an original idea that would caterpult me Why can i just shut up be humble n speak to God Why dont i ever learn my lesson Why cant i be less stubborn Why cant i be more docile Why cant i be more accomodating Why cant i have things my way Why cant i win the lottery Why wont my frigging internet work Why cant people just freaking accept me without wanting to change me Why cant things be the way it was 10 years ago Why cant i stop leaving in the past Why cant i just be contented Why? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gaminechic: 9:38am On Nov 11, 2008 |
@Omoovie Nice to know! @Vesc, Im still gathering material, i was banned stupidly that much i know @The rant above me, WHY eternal Question |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 10:47pm On Nov 11, 2008 |
we had our first arguement last night he said a lot of cruel things that really hurt me,i know he is sorry and dint mean the things he said ,because he sent me flowers today i got flowers today last night ,he threw me into a wall and started to choke me,it seemed like a nightmare,i couldnt belive it was real.i woke up this morning sore and bruised all over,i know he must be sorry because he sent me flowers today i got flowers today , it wasnt mother's day or anyother special day last night he beat me up again,it was much worse than all the other times if i leave him what will i do>? how will i take care of my kids? what about money? i am afriad of him and scared to leave but i know he must be sorry cos he sent me flowers today i got flowers today today was a very special day it was the day of my funeral! last night he finally killed me. he beat me to death if only i had gathered enough courage to leave him i would not have gotten flowers today:::::::::::::::::::::::: sad huh? saw this and decided to pass it around ranting is allowed domestic violence or even violence of any sorts should be avoided woman arent punching bags if hand dey itch you go to the nearest bustop you will be obliged accordingly |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Tgirl4real(f): 1:20am On Nov 12, 2008 |
When are u going to be a gentle man and honour my request |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 1:57am On Nov 12, 2008 |
gentleman i remember in my first days here a disscuss about , the origins of that word is it the gentleman terms that stemed from the 12century english ton the babarians who sacked their wards or the gentlemen english crusaders who as far as am concerned, followed there selfish interest or even the gentlemen, who belive love was beneath their refinement thus arranged marriages and mistresses everywhere was the other of the day maybe the ones that at the thought of the slightest insult or provocation, a call for duel to death is made which of this gentlemen my fair ma, do you expect me to be? nay am neither and please dont think me arrogant am just enjoying my very long sabbatical here moreso, the initial people you wanted interveiwed you havent yet finish with them, add gamine, bluespice,stillwater,sisikill stephenp to the list before me looking forward to read your reveiws on them |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 1:52pm On Nov 12, 2008 |
Sir Rantalot. Please oblige Tgirl before she, she, she, I dunno does whatever she does to make people do what she asks |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Nobody: 6:41pm On Nov 12, 2008 |
Yep, we need to know the man behind the rants. |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluespice(f): 12:09pm On Nov 13, 2008 |
Rantalot be a good man and oblige her request |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by bluespice(f): 1:27pm On Nov 13, 2008 |
ah! the sweet smell of pain, suprised? well dont be, how else do u explain the great affinity you have for pain? how do you explain the love u have for getting burnt? one all but cuts the head off to prove to you that the path you are about to tread is bumpy but u prefer to make your own mistakes then you wonder why we laugh at your folly? Weare done! not 'cos we have no feelings, or 'cos we choose to bury them but because we want to be we are done with trying hard to help those that would rather we not existed, done trying to make your world a better place for you done with being human beings we are ready to be us to delve into ourselves and find the essence of our existence the single entity that culminates into what we are we are ready to be us! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Gaminechic: 10:53am On Nov 14, 2008 |
Ariblaze, are you Airblaze somewhere else in this virtual world? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 1:07pm On Nov 14, 2008 |
airblaze::::::::::nay not me well today is the day am too ill to rant to weak,to muster up the emotions to drained to be angry too dim witted to be exictable what day is it? its the 3rd day of my battle with malaria even the strong crumble under her force |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 5:28pm On Nov 14, 2008 |
gami am on nvs, but not with that name , cant even remember what mine is anymore the guy writes good sha |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Cayon(f): 3:02am On Nov 15, 2008 |
I was scheduled to go on a movie and dinner date with a guy(28). I get to his house. He opens the door and sprints back to his bedroom. I walk in and proceed to following him until I hear him say, "I gotta go 'cause my partner is here". Partner? STRIKE 1 Note: I called to let him know I was on the way, so he knew I was coming. It was a 20 minute ride. After he hangs up he calls out for me to come in his room. He has a huge ketchup stain of his jogging pants. So, he points it out and says he has to change. No problem. But why is he dressing out of the dirty close basket? Okay, just because the clothes are balled up in the dirty clothes hamper doesn't mean they're dirty, but they looked dirty. And once we are in the car on our way to the movies, I notice they smell dirty. STRIKE 2 Note: The smell is a sweaty type smell, not too funky, but not alright either. The movie was great! We get to the restaurant. No real conversation, because "smooth operator" has to call every Tom, D!ck, & Harry on his cell phone. STRIKE 3 Note: I can't take it anymore. I have caught a major case of the ASS. The only way to cure this infection is to take this asshole home. I elected to go dutch on the dinner, and then I took him home. He had a puzzled look on his face. I hope he didn't think he was going to get some "nookie". Did he? he is looking forward for a second date Background: I have known this person for almost two years. We've become good friends. We both are single, now and thought we'd spend a little more time together. We met at work. He's very attractive and he always came to work looking good. He wore suits and nice shoes. He also smelled really good. We've been out on Questions: 1. Do I tell him why I won't go out with him again? (three strikes and you are out) 2. If I don't tell him, am I being a true friend? 3. How do I discuss these issues with him? Disclaimer Note: This doesn't belongs to the poster. [i]This was sent to me by a friend as a joke. No animals were harm while posting this email. Battereis not included.[/i] |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 1:58pm On Nov 15, 2008 |
You obviously are either one of these; -You ain't attracted to him anymore -You are dealing with a modern-day Jekyll & Hyde persona. Either way, make tracks! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by Tgirl4real(f): 12:40am On Nov 16, 2008 |
Forgerrit |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by kay9(m): 1:31am On Nov 17, 2008 |
Cayon: Ok Cayon, here's my view: Tell your friend she's has to trash her little pink book's Rules of Engagement; you are dealing with a human being, not a programmed machine. Tell her she has to take a few chances in life - hell, life doesn't get exiciting until you take a few risks. C'mon girl, you don't bounce a bloke just because he didn't score all A's in the Initial Assessment test; humor him a while until you have a REAL reason to dislike him. Dude might have some good qualities buried under all that swagger . But Cayon, hope say you no dey take style collect advice here; no bounce your guy lik dat-o! Last thing, this is not a Romance Help thread; its RANT Central. Folks don't offer advice here; they rant - you know, swear and scream and shower spittle in the air!! |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 8:47am On Nov 17, 2008 |
malaria has me in a bind and i come back to this? if this page gets sent to romance i would find all responsible mouth still a lil,bitter freaking doctor , gave me 2days imagine 2days, when did full blown malaria take 2days this mofo HMOs are just not it atall then again it might just be this lagos enviroment generally i have decided to use this opportunity to quit smoking gah,16 years::::;need a new hobby asap am 2days without nicotine now and the malaria hasnt made me feel the effects yet,hope it takes most of the withdrawal sympthoms away this is gonna be hard work :::::::::why does this saying coming to mind,its easier to destroy than to build:::::::::::: gah am still rambling no romance here,it sucks and hurts |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 9:11am On Nov 17, 2008 |
I mean this isn't like Blaze's rant thread where you can just post any shit that comes to your head i caught that ooo 'silence' central' no issues , too tired to rant about it anyways but then again,anny shit that comes to head because |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by vescucci(m): 2:15pm On Nov 17, 2008 |
Sir Rantalot obviously sneaks outta his hole every now and then. Nice. How are the plasmodia chilling? I hope you're sending the armed forces in. Don't want you unable to rant. Where's Stillater? Are you taking your vitamins. Vitamins V? |
Re: My Book Of Rants! by ariblaze(m): 3:41pm On Nov 17, 2008 |
back at work: you being on hols?(yeah rite) dint know you were down(5days?,ok even i would notice if certain assistants dont come) you look really done in by the malaria(shove it,dont need to hear it) am tired thought i missed work was dead wrong |
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