Hi guys, what if you fall in love with one of your colleagues? Would you run away because you both work with the same company? What if you cannot help what you both feel? How would you relate with each other in the office? Would you rather have an open-secret relationship?

Well, I have ever found myself in this situation. It all started with the guy becoming a thorn in my flesh. He was always disturbing me. I did not know then that he had any intention of proposing. I did not see it coming anyway not until the day he asked me on phone what I felt for him.

He could not hide his feelings anymore so he did propose. I gave him so many flimsy excuses and reasons why we could not date but he said we were surely going to work things out.

We really had a nice time. Most of my colleagues did not know because we were so discreet about it. Our mode of communicating then was through SMS when other colleagues were around.

Anyway, it was good while it lasted. We are still the best of friends.

So tell me, would you date your colleague?

tayotina, there is nothing wrong with you dating your colleague if two of you feel for each other, your life partner can be found anywhere even in the bus while travelling . and you are also lucky that he also ask you for marrage. so i feel there is nothing wrong with office romance.

If it is not against company policies, yes why not? The only thing is if you can be professional enough to handle it such that it doesn't affect your jobs. If the relationship leads to marriage and one of you is expected to quit your job as in most company policies, no big deal, quit and look for another job. The most important thing is you both are happy to spend the rest of your lives together. I have friends who were caught up in such dilemma and they have no regrets.

On the Mobile Nigeria Forum some people mentioned that companies like Globacom and a lot of reputable banks have such policies, but I really don't understand it. What is their reason for not allowing couples to work together in the same company?

seun:

On the Mobile Nigeria Forum some people mentioned that companies like Globacom and a lot of reputable banks have such policies, but I really don't understand it. What is their reason for not allowing couples to work together in the same company?

I think most companies do not trust couples to keep their personal lives separate from their business lives, and that if couples work together it can reduce productivity. Couples share common interest like if there is a death in the family, someone is ill in the family etc, employers are concerned that two members of Staff(couples) would have to take time off at the same time to attend to these family issues, which really isn't good for business.

I am sure there are so many obvious reasons why they put up this policy.

yes! there is no sin dating your colleague if two of you feel for each other and there is no place where is stated in the constitution where you can find love.adam meet his love in the garden of eden.God has assign everybody love in differ place some in the market,school,church,road,cafe,mosque,parties and office.there is no sin if mine fall in the office.
infact, being in the same office you will understand yourselves better.

As much as I understand and support your argument, hope, I'm afraid I completely disagree with the latter part of it.

Rather than help you understand each other better the chances that working together will add unforeseen complexities to your relationship are pretty high. Besides, what time is there to miss each other? You're at work together all day, probably leave together to go hangout somewhere and then resume to the same work place the next day. PLEASE! Let's not forget that absence makes the heart fonder.

Ladies been ladies, you're bound to notice how he appears to linger a minute more than necessary at Bola's table, how Yvonne is always eying his backside, how many phone calls he seems to receive a day and how many of them are actually official and ..........

It's some kind of headache I can do without.

If a couple decides to work together, why should I as an employer say no?

Basically for all the reasons Trish highlighted below and more.

seun, imagine she is head of accounts and i am head of I.T..... or any two top positions where collaboration may make things happen
simply... you may find out soon enough that you dont have any company any more..... Money!!

also... imagine the company bankrupts.. two adults out of job and 7 children left to suffer.....

date a colleague.. fall in love and when the wedding bells ring... one resignation letter drops.so all parties gain by that cool policy.. let one find a new job


femo

Personally i would not like to date a colleauge. I mean i would not even like to date someone from the same church as myself! (i have no reason why, it is i just want to leave it at that)

i don't think there's anything wrong with it,the issue is the ladies don't see it from that perspective,they see it as a wrong move.i tried it once and it bounced back at me.

ABSOLUTELY NOT!

I wouldn't have seen anything wrong with that, but not after I have had the bitter experience of dating a colleague in my former place of work.

Her dad was and I guess is still the head of the organization and she also was working there with me and other colleagues but I thought I was lucky to be in a better relationship with the girl and her dad, the departmental head than other colleagues.

But that was a terrible mistake that made me willingly resigned my job. However, It was a good mistake because I made in a kind of job that I was just doing as I went to go to college.

Most Nigerians, if you are working under them, would think you are a hopless person and that if not by them you would be no more on earth. I began, at a stage, to feel I was no longer needed by the kind of attitude the girl's dad was putting up towards me. I've got dignity and would respect anybody to the extreme but not at the expense of this dignity but I didn't blame the illiterate square peg in a round hole because he was been engineered by his own daughter whom I loved sincerely but she believed I had been fraternizing with other girls. You know, there were much more girls than boys in the place and they always come to the few available boys like bees go to honey.

But she would never believe everytime I told her that I'd been faithful to her. But I forgave for been the one to annul our love; the fact that she would always be the one to remind me to promise her that I was never going to leave.

Though it was not totally her fault, partly mine too.

It may seem nothing is bad in dating a girl/boy in your place of work but it is practically bad and would bring your many insult and disrespect.

DEFINITELY NOT!
that would have been my reaction but people have to be realistic sometimes things work out, sometimes they don't its the good times we have in between the decisions we make that count!

Legs, abeg how you steaszxe the babe ... make i learn some cool moves.
... you still dey 'runs stage' or you don wrap up the runs?

femo

obviously i need to update my profile and i am going to ignore the fact that you seem to think its just runs.. who knows maybe it is; bottom line - i am having a good time

That's the spirit !!!

Hey guys,

I see no differences dating your co-worker because God has made it so that a man and a woman can be together.

with the ideal knowing full well that a women was brougt out of a man ribs. It's kind of scare to say that a women should date his co-worker - if she is already married then she should not date her co-worker - but she should respect the happiness and peace of her home and keep herself pure.

I know it kind of hard but the person just have to do it for the reason that she is one flesh with the husband now. And in the case of a woman who is not married they should better not do 'the fun thing' with the man before marriage or else he would be in a real problem and she would really get herself involved with evil deeds.

Bearing in mind what she wants - marriage or frienship - she should not have fun with the man unless they are married. Men are always interested in women are interested in one particular thing - to have sex, after which they will dump the poor thing.

Normally, nowadays, in most countries, men like to marry virgins. I would not love a man because of his wealth or his family but for peace, love forever, and to be happy and also to raise children with the person

A co-worker should not be interest in the way I look or how pretty I am, but in knowing whether I am interested in him and (probably) about my family also.

I will probably date an officer who is wealthy but trustworthy and loving and also caring. Oftentimes, people say I am pretty. I do not really care if I am or not because everyone is pretty in this world. No creation of God is ugly. I say this because officers go for the pretty people and live the so called "ugly" ones (I don't see them as ugly, anyway)

Love is what matters. If the man loves you, why not love him also?

depends on a lot of factors...most likely MAYBE.but i'll prefer a low profile 'runs'

Done it thrice and the whole three flopped maybe if there is a number four romance maybe it would stay and flop

wow, If we were to be proffesional about this.. Office love is really a Distraction. Personal issues would be brought to the office.

Well I did try it and man was I burned. Even though the guy was in the head office and I in a branch office...inshort it is not advisable. Worse when you are in the SAME office...when the romance kaputs..hostility and discomfort abounds. Not worth the trouble at all..not worth the trouble...

Ejyro - well, i don't see anything wrong in dating a colleague. As rightly commented by tayotina, one's life partner can be found anywhere, even in a bus while travelling. If it leads to marriage in the end, then praise be to God, and even if one of couple have to loose his or her job, it's ok. Provided you already have a good gift from God.

Don't try it because it last long. You could see Tayo's own becoming a mirage.
Such relationships don't last it's just love of infantuation.

Hi guys, so toya is havin full fun every where anyhow. carr on gurl,
I think is not bad havin fun with ur office fellas,

enjoy if u are in the mode, coz i am too.

I have done it before it is no big deal. We were friends for a long time and lovers for a short while. When I told her we should return the relationship back to the platonic level, she no gree said it was ALL OR NOTHING.

It is however not advisable if the person is working directly under you, it spoils work no matter how you play it.

For me I would say no because it's too much of a risk. Sure their no sin in it but because there's no sin doesn't mean that it's the best thing to do. It can be difficult at times to separate your personal life from your professional life. What happens if you start having problems? you see each other at work and your not talking. Everyone knows your business now. What if one of you becomes jealous of something and make a big scene at work? what happens if you break up and still have to see each other when you may want to heal? what if one of you starts seeing another person at work? I mean not to just look at the negative side of it but there is a lot to consider. Where is the time for your personal life to exist outside of each other. You spend 8 hours a day at work and then I'm sure more time outside of work. Personally I don't want to see my husband that much unless he's sick and needs help. Even when he's retired I would hope he has a Hobie that he does regularly to keep him interested in his self so that we don;t smother our relationship.


that's is just my take and yes I have had an experience of dating a co worker and it didn't work out but that's another story and I didn't consider any of the things I mentioned.

Am working on having an affair with a colleague of mind, how should i do this....First time I wanna try this out

Matrix, why don't you start by taking her out for lunch?

Hmnnn Tayolecturer! Experienced & Expert advice.
Or may I say professional advise?

GP, leave me and let me do my work oh, you hear?

Am I holding you?