As for me that is not happening, especially when i am making more than him, bcoz there is no way i am going to be begging give me some money to cook and then he goes out there and spends my money on booze and women.

. . . but if he were making more money than you are, you'll gladly accept it in open arms. W O M E N !!! 

See Should a husband and wife operate a joint account?.

even if he was making more than me, Trust me i will still want my own account.

FK no!! i had to learn that the hard way.

PDF:

. . . but if he were making more money than you are, you'll gladly accept it in open arms. W O M E N !!!

See Should a husband and wife operate a joint account?.

why the hell not after all woman are the one looking after the children

do it dear, you wont believe how seemingly little things like that strengthen the bonds of a relationship. Separate accounts do nothing but engender distrust and are just one step away to a divorce.

I will be sharing one account with my wife when we get married. She does not need to "beg" me for money, we only need to let the other know when and how much we need to take out and why. You're not likely to go on a spending binge if you know you'll have to account for whatever money you spend to wifey later. It's not demeaning you as a man, its only making u accountable to the one woman you pledged to spend the rest of ur life with.

My uncle and aunt practice it, they've been happily married for 6 yrs. You should see them poring over shopping lists and the husband gets pocket money every week from his wife! I think its N150!!!!
They are as happy as ever and the guy is the man of his house!

@davidylan


it is always good until divorce, and the man clams all the money as his own, after the woman work her ass off.

@ coco29

If your mind is on divorce right from the wedding day then you're not likely to see any reason to share one bank account. However if you are determined to make your marriage work in good or bad times then having a joint account is just another good way to strengthen the bonds.

@davidylan

what do you mean by  "make your marriage work" 

@ coco29
i suppose marriage is all about sacrifice, compromise and the selflessness.

When i talk about "making a marriage work", i mean making a conscious effort to refuse to let the marriage go down the hill. Divorce is an easy way out, its easier to check out and earn our "independence" at the slightest whiff of trouble.

davidylan:

@ coco29

If your mind is on divorce right from the wedding day then you're not likely to see any reason to share one bank account. However if you are determined to make your marriage work in good or bad times then having a joint account is just another good way to strengthen the bonds.

One's mind doesn't have to be on Divorce, i agree with Coco29, sharing account seems like a good idea until the man wants to leave you then everything becomes his own. My parents have seperate account even though my dad makes more than my mom, Trust me she does the entire work and they have been married for 26 years. The fact is that almost every man is stingy when it comes to money, why should i give you a reason to spend my own money, its my money i should use it how want.

ima1:

One's mind doesn't have to be on Divorce, i agree with Coco29, sharing account seems like a good idea until the man wants to leave you then everything becomes his own. My parents have seperate account even though my dad makes more than my mom, Trust me she does the entire work and they have been married for 26 years. The fact is that almost every man is stingy when it comes to money, why should i give you a reason to spend my own money, its my money i should use it how want.

Your post is the very antithesis of all that marriage is all about. So shall a man leave his household and be joined to his wife and they become ONE flesh not TWO fleshes merely cohabiting.
Marriage is about US or WE and not just I, ME and MYSELF.

davidylan:

@ coco29
i suppose marriage is all about sacrifice, compromise and the selflessness.

When i talk about "making a marriage work", i mean making a conscious effort to refuse to let the marriage go down the hill. Divorce is an easy way out, its easier to check out and earn our "independence" at the slightest whiff of trouble.

sweetie some marriages are doomed from the start, why would you choose to be unhappy  

why should any one stay in a loveless marriage  

As long as the Bible doesn't say share One account, i am not doing anything wrong but protecting my own interest.

lets say for example he does some bad investment with our money without telling me, and looses everything, what do we fall back on, now if my husband does some shit like that, don't expect me to sit down and be poor with you.

what makes/ defines a marriage doomed from the start? How do you know the signs so you can avoid one?

ima1:

As long as the Bible doesn't say share One account, i am not doing anything wrong but protecting my own interest.

lets say for example he does some bad investment with our money without telling me, and looses everything, what do we fall back on, now if my husband does some shit like that, don't expect me to sit down and be poor with you.

I cant agree with u more. True the bible does not say "thou shalt share one account", its a choice. You have the freedom to weigh the benefits or disadvantages before taking your decision. In my own oppinion i think a joint account would be in good order.

On the bad business issue, that is why haviing a joint account is good. For instance i wont just get the money out and go do a business, i have to run it through madam first to guage her oppinion, women seem to have a keen sense of danger that men do not have. Only an irresponsible husband will use money from a joint account without consulting his wife.

@davidylan my mother always say "see me and come live with me is to different things.

pessimism is the wrong way to embark on a lifelong project such as marriage. I'm going into it with the belief that it will work.

so did i, i guess some people can pretend, i can't if i am not happy i will leave point blank.

Surprisingly not all men run things through their wives before doing something stupid, or when they do and she says don't do it, they say are you the man of the house.

to me the advantages of having seperate account outweighs that of having just one, i will not want to explain why i need to use my money, when you keep asking he starts saying you are spending too much, now that is total bullshit.

on what basis did you get married in the first place? how long did you date the guy before marriage? how well did you know him? where you friends first and lovers next? is great sex the basis for your own marriage?

hmmm ima1

ima1:

Surprisingly not all men run things through their wives before doing something stupid, or when they do and she says don't do it, they say are you the man of the house.

to me the advantages of having seperate account outweighs that of having just one, i will not want to explain why i need to use my money, when you keep asking he starts saying you are spending too much, now that is total bullshit.

that is why dating for at least a yr is recommended before marriage. I wouldnt last long with a woman with that attitude.

Lol, i agree with you dating for more than one year is always the best that way you get to know the guy. but a woman has to protect her interest

We all have our own opinion, As far as i am concerned, if i get married, i'll shae same account with my wifey,

Te fact remains that marriage is all about trust, rather than pessimism and thinking of the fact that its all about sex. I think Ima is pessimistic, probably from an experience or something.

If you have a joint bank account with a responsible husbadn(why will you marry an irresponsible one anyway?), then i should be breeze, coz you can tell if he is spending some money lavishly,


Ok, lets assume i operate a joint account with my wife, and i tend to have another GF outside. if my GF ask me for 50K naira, and i remove it from the account, it means i will have to explain where the money goes to my wife. But lets assume i have a seperate account, then i could possibly have decided on having a second wife from that situation ( probably due to her getting pregrnant or something) before my Wife gets to know.

@ ima1

i agree with you that a woman needs to protect her interests, but when she's married her husband's interests become hers too. Marriage is not two people struggling to contribute 50:50, its about two people becoming one and doing things as one regardless of who pulls the financial strings. What of women who are full time housewives? will their husbands also be justified to open separate bank accounts and keep the woman begging for money to buy toothpicks?

Yes, as long he's the one making the most money

thank you gbenga, you just spoke my mind.

lauryn:

Yes, as long he's the one making the most money

selfishness and wickedness go kill una.

whats selfish bout that?, I'll be helping him swipe d card often, or at least thats what I do best

davidylan:

@ ima1

i agree with you that a woman needs to protect her interests, but when she's married her husband's interests become hers too. Marriage is not two people struggling to contribute 50:50, its about two people becoming one and doing things as one regardless of who pulls the financial strings. What of women who are full time housewives? will their husbands also be justified to open separate bank accounts and keep the woman begging for money to buy toothpicks?

Now the thing there is that i am not gonna be a fulltime house wife, not after i have wasted six years in school and getting all those degrees, Marriage is about 50;50, i agree with that and respect that, but he should pull his own financial strings and i should pull mine.

@gbengaijot
you gave a perfect example, if you have a girlfriend then you come up with lies about how you spent the money, why not have your own money that way you don't have to lie or explain.

ole ni e Lauryn!!!!  

e se. Sefe fun mi ni cardi yin ni?

ima1:

Now the thing there is that i am not going to be a fulltime house wife, not after i have wasted six years in school and getting all those degrees, Marriage is about 50;50, i agree with that and respect that, but he should pull his own financial strings and i should pull mine.

@gbengaijot
you gave a perfect example, if you have a girlfriend then you come up with lies about how you spent the money, why not have your own money that way you don't have to lie or explain.

my dear, quit the attitude. It wont get you very far. A lot of men including my humble self will not consider marrying a fulltime housewife because my own mum worked herself out to provide for us too.
But an attitude like yours coming into a marriage where compromise, patience, humility (i don't mean slavish submission!) and longsuffering are essential ingredients will not augur well.

Every man is going into a relationship fully aware of his financial responsibilities which is why naija men marry late. How do you pay school fees? what of a mortgage? How do you take collective financial decisions? By asking him to bring 50% while you do the same? What if one of the parties has a financial downturn for some reason or the other. Will you be borrowing him money?

@ lauryn

Card ko, ike ni! Thief! Go and open your own account!!! Me and you cannot open joint acc!