₦airaland Forum

dario078:
Nothing wrong in helping her

Ok thanks..

bukatyne:
@NigeriaB,

You ex is NOT your responsibility; she is a married woman.

If she is desperately in need, let her reach out to her family, friends, in-laws, church, mosque, husband's friends etc.

You get the point.

It would be a disaster if after keeping yourself this long, you sleep with a married woman whom you can't even marry if you want to push ahead to marry the woman who disflowered you.

The road to hell is paved with good intentions.

Run!

Thanks bro. I appreciate

Pauling:
deep down, u can't really let her go... n d best way to forget a thing is to stop thinking about it.. u don escape wahala part 1 making u faithful 2 ur vow till now.... my brother,,, part 2 go advance oooo.... the thing wey she do DAT time wey no work... na new strategy she go use.... na ur spirit dey stand... I dey c ur body 4 ground

Lolz
Thanks man..

Goldenfinger:
I blame the op 4 her pregnancy.GOD just put some people in your life so that you can help/save them.i just got pissed off wen you broke up wit her jst bcus sex or was their any other issue?

No other issue sir. But I wouldn't want to just waste her time. I don't know when I'm going bro get married. I can't date a girl for 6 years before marrying her...

I thought I was doing the right thing by telling her the truth and letting her go

nwachukwu9:
I would advise you to help her and also help others who are in need. Don't just narrow your hands of charity to her only. Set aside about 30% of your profit for charity, but share it equally among those who need help. By doing so you would be greatly blessed by God

Thanks bro. Words well received!

patoski39:
i dn teh una say dis redpill sermon no b naija guys... I fit bet my nyaxh say if dah gal cry 4 d guy say her pikin dae hungry, money go comot

Lolz..

beresponsible:
Mine too and be like the guy too wey dey write these thrash dey crush on the babe. Only difference his madness will cost him 2b

Hahaha, abi o

Saraki my guy well well..



You are doing well son...

zombieTRACKER:
Shame on you

Why ?

A crime to crush on someone ?

Just a crush bro

Wetin concern me;

All I know is that Regina Daniels is my celebrity crush.

VLTA:
The second.

Disclaimer: I won't in any way be held responsible or accountable in case of any eventualities unpalatable to the op, be it events inconsistent with op's expectation that may ensue afterwards.

That was on a lighter note. But I feel you go with the second, she will help draw you closer to God and push you towards actualizing your goals.

But he said the second one is the least attractive. .. Don't you think that factor is major for the Op?

Corbin:
if you had agree to her demands at first it would have been you oo

It is God that saved you

I'm telling you bro

phemmyfour:
Don't stop, she is your confessor......Nonesense, You ll soon fvck her

I don't think I will sir

rosemary21:
I just want to encourage you to continue staying firm in abstaining from premarital sex.its gonna be a very bumpy ride ooo but stay put you will never regret it.just be pleading with the holy spirit to help you always.he surely will help you especially in moments when you will be really really tempted to give in.dont let your friends know that you are a virgin cos they will do all doables to make you be like them.as for the lady cut complete ties with her so that she doesn't put you into trouble.

Thanks such much dear. Amen

Please I recommend that you see a psychiatrist as soon as possible.

No joke please, I'm for real.

You will be fine! Please see a psychiatric doctor, please

AdeniyiA:
NigeriaB, I had a somewhat similar experience. Till today we remain best of friends, we know our bounds. As much as you can, help her. What you didn't do then I believe you wouldn't do it now.
I salute your courage and determination to maintain your chastity

Thanks bro. Words well received!

ImaIma1:
You will seen like a unicorn to many guys here. Because they won't be able to imagine life without sex

Hahaha

Rozz:
keep it up,you have come this far,dont relent.You are a darling,your wife will be a lucky woman

Awwn, thanks dear

Ariza:
You did, or else you would have been baba bomboi by now

Lolz

emerged01:
Bro,you have to flee if you don’t want it in regret. She will finally get what she want from you if you don’t flee. Don’t think you can always reject her.

Thanks bro

Ariza:
But MrNiceguy is the same thing as Simp Well Honestly Op dodged a bullet, if he had had sex with that lady, she might have conceived for him and I wonder what effect that would have had on him or his career.

And you are right, the child and the lady aren't his responsibility and he should keep her at a distance before things get complicated. But as for helping, he should do it once in a while.

I'm convinced that I actually dodged a bullet..

princetemitee:
See this guy oo, she don born her own pikin, u are the one financing his life, when will u also born your own pikin to financing, pls think ;(

All right dear. Thanks alot

Ayemileto:
Your case is kind of different.

In OP's case, all this happened to an 100lvl girl.

If she's among the people who get admission early, then she might be between 14 - 16 years old when all this incidence happened.

If the above statement is correct, then she should be between 17 - 19years now.

And her parents rejected her after finding out about her pregnancy, which forced her to move in with the guy. So, she might not be legally married to him. More like live in partners.

So, unlike your own case, she might truly need the help and not in for a fling.

Also, I suspected she might have dropped out of school already.

But she destroyed her own life by herself and it's not really the OP's responsibility.

So, like you rightly stated, he can help her this time and give her a strict warning.

Yea, you are right..she dropped out.

She was 18 when we started dating

Ariza:
Martin's wetin nah? Is it your money? Why are you like this nah?

Op should know how to say no Sometimes. But refusing to help because he doesn't want to be a Simp or MrNiceguy is foolishness. Ahhhhhhhhh

Ok dear
Thanks

Ariza:
Op come and steal my contact too. I like decent guys

Hope you fine Sha.

Hahaha
Okay na..

Ayemileto:
I just read the story properly.

Going by the story, then she's currently in 400lvl. That's if she hasn't dropped out.

She got into all this mess and got rejected by her parents since her 100lvl days.

If she's one of those who got admission early like between age 14 - 16, I think that probably explains why she's kind of dependent.

This points to failed parenting in a way. Her parents are likely one of the over religious ones that their children are getting wayward under their noses without them noticing it at all.


She really made some bad decisions she'll likely regret for the remainder of her life.

Majority of my previous comment is still applicable though.

1. She didn't continue with her education; she dropped out.

2. She was 18 when we started dating

3. The parents could have done better but for the sake of what people around them may say about them. They had to marry her off..

Thank you so much..

Ayemileto:
Your story get as he be sha.

Firstly, I think you're feeling guilty because you're the one that advised her not to abort the pregnancy, and convinced her to tell her parents instead, and somehow feel the need to always help her whenever she mention her son.

But let me tell you this, that is not in anyway your responsibility!!! The problem started since the time she decided to be having premarital sex, got addicted to it in the process and even proceeded to do it without protection.

And since she made this decision herself, then she should have been prepared for the consequences.



Also, from your write up, her parents turned her down, and she moved in with the guy to start living with him - as his wife. Your write up didn't say they are legally married in anyway.

This just point to the fact that the lady might just be a dependent fellow - without any direction and you might have just escaped a bullet.

Finally, it seems she's not working at all, and since her parents already rejected her, I doubt they will still be sending her money like they probably do before, and since she doesn't have a job, she resorts to always calling you for help.

If you really wish to help her, then the best thing you can do for her is to get her something doing.

it might be a job, or a business.

But this is in no way your responsibility. Only do it if you wish to, and ensure you let her know that's the last help she will be getting from you.


She put herself in the mess, let her sort herself out.

Dammm!! You are a genius...

1. You were right. I was having that guilt. Firstly, if I hadn't sent her away, she wouldn't have gotten involved with that guy, by extension, pregnancy wouldn't have resulted. But from your third point, who knows I may have escaped a bullet or trap.

2. The man was made to do certain rites so I guess that conferred legitimacy of their union.

3. She is not working and I think is no longer continuing with her education. The last I asked her about school, she was saying something about making new plans to go to nursing school.

4. Thank you so much...

Martinez39s:
Stop being a Mr. Nice Guy. The child is not your responsibility. Let every man and woman take sole responsibility of their child(ren). If you were broke, would she continously help you and your child if she had the means? NO!

Thanks bro

timifaithus:
Great one

Thanks dear

Rozz:
wao Op are you still a virgin now? Good to still have your type around as men. God bless you abundantly.

Thanks dear..lol

But it's not easy dear

sammyesx:
If u have money to spare give to her, if u don't have....

Stick to the road ahead not the path behind - zedicus zul zorander

Great! Lovely quote there too by Zed

SweetCunt97:
Encourage to start a business or go find a job. U can't continue giving her money.

Yea, you are right