₦airaland Forum

Why is it that even a single topic in the poetry section ( poems for review) has never grace the FP?...The poetry section is enrich with talented poet with interesting topics. Abeg mods do something about it.

Tags:
Obinnau
Mynd44
OMA4U
Timpaker
Cuddlemii

AmiableJay:
TAKE NOT!
“Take not the flute from Unoka
Thou black minion from Gehenna”
~
Take not tranquil from Midgard
Or tavern from the drunkard
The curfews, called in thy honour
Curb strumpets off their candour
Hurls the brothel from the temptress,
Acheron’s pit from Heccat, heists
Thou art a black salvage that serve age
Through cryptic messages that mess sages
Then do you now thy carnage?
But fools call rage thy courage
To take cosmos from mortals
Defile fate and halts its stars
Before eyes behold their maiden twinkles
Flee Death! nemesis triumphs like wrinkles.
~
Tags: Timpaker, deflover, Firestar, Oma4u, Divepen, texanomaly, Tovot, badmusace

I don't know how you'll feel, but what you wrote is definitely not a sonnet. May be you are trying to write a quatern composed of 4 quatrains with 8 syllables per line and also has a refrain in different place in each quatrain. If the lines in quotations is not among the poem then its a sonnet...and looking at it with a noble eye, you disobeyed the law(s) in sonnet...The English sonnets has 10 syllables, Italian sonnets has 10 or 11 syllables, French sonnet has 12 syllables per line, and all with different rhyming pattern. I like the fact that you mixed modern and archaic words to portray your message...re-edit your work...thumbs up.

noble cares.

AmiableJay:
TAKE NOT!
“Take not the flute from Unoka
Thou black minion from Gehenna”
~
Take not tranquil from Midgard
Or tavern from the drunkard
The curfews, called in thy honour
Curb strumpets off their candour
Hurls the brothel from the temptress,
Acheron’s pit from Heccat, heists
Thou art a black salvage that serve age
Through cryptic messages that mess sages
Then do you now thy carnage?
But fools call rage thy courage
To take cosmos from mortals
Defile fate and halts its stars
Before eyes behold their maiden twinkles
Flee Death! nemesis triumphs like wrinkles.
~
Tags: Timpaker, deflover, Firestar, Oma4u, Divepen, texanomaly, Tovot, badmusace

Can I comment on this?

terza:
who is mentioning my name

Who else, its noble

Hallo Ridhwan, how u doing?... I like the fact that you make use of simple English to pour out your emotion and the image is clear, I could easily picture each stanza as if I'm in a movie ...But to be honest with you, your stanzas or verses are scattered, your use of punctuations are out of line, and little error in your spellings.

Poetry is not only about diction and imagery but also the form(s) and structure you imploy in writing them. You can follow the link in my signature to learn more of the types and structures of poetry or send me a pm.

noble cares.

repogirl:
so me am now sis, not dear?

its noblegraphic error...sowi dear ...Anyways, I love the names you give your characters... infact, I like your style of writing.

noble cares

repogirl:
hi noble

Yea nice story sis

noble is here

timpaker:
You may be right bro but from what I have read about a Diamente is that, the purpose is to go from the subject at the top of the diamond or lozenge to another totally different (and sometimes opposite) subject at the bottom written in seven lines of diamond shape.

i.e.

The First line - a word (NOUN) - A
Second line - two ADJECTIVES - A
Third line - three GERUNDS-A (verb + -ing)
Fourth line - two NOUNS-A + two NOUNS-B
Fifth line - three GERUNDS-B (verb + -ing)
Sixth line - two ADJECTIVES-B and
Seventh - One NOUN - B


http://www.readwritethink.org/classroom-resources/student-interactives/diamante-poems-30053.html

This is the Diamente I know designed by Iris Tiedt, the one you talking about should be the old school Diamente cuz mine is the new school

Hahahahahahaahahahahaha Bro,the diamante was invented 40 years ago by an American poet "Iris McClellan Tiedt" in 1969. What you wrote was an archaic form of diamante though, some still write it that way...Anyways, Thumbsup.

Nice1

TemitopeDaniel:
Noble... weldone here.

Thank u sir.

timpaker:


I wrote this early last year for a contest online and I think I've shared it here on Nairaland.

SUCCESS

Poverty
Hateful, fearful
Struggling, toiling, grinding
Office, home, work, library,
Reading, writing, grinding
Cautious, ambitious,
Success


That's mine
It's suppose to be formatted to be centered but Nairaland platform doesn't have such.

Yah its suppose to be in diamond shape but NL platform does not support that.

As for your input, line 4 should be a short phrase about line 1, and a short phrase about line 7. Just edit it, thumbs up

Tags: OMA4U, Adeola, Philtrum, niftyrules,
okwutency, princesa, timpaker JigsawKillah,gottoboy, harddon, poeticjazco,dtito,isaiahogodo,paulaok4, basille,krystalxxx,richommie, Chuksemi,
Texanomaly, divepen, michaelok, giyazz, nickz,
firestar, Bamibor, osiawa, kagari, elvisosho,
maxwellbaba, tjkdzyanju, AmiableJay, lordidol,
mrwhat, davep, firestar,TemitopeDaniel, repogirl,vonn, Royver.

Though, its not clear... The important thing is the shape.

Noble cares

LESSON 3

When a diamante poem is written it takes on the
shape of a diamond.

The Structure of a Diamante Poem

A diamante poem is made up of 7 lines using a
set structure:

Line 1: Beginning subject
Line 2: Two describing words about line 1
Line 3: Three doing words about line 1
Line 4: A short phrase about line 1, a short
phrase about line 7
Line 5: Three doing words about line 7
Line 6: Two describing words about line 7
Line 7: End subject

Example


Plane
Long, swift
Aviating, twirling, zooming
Powered fixed wings, moving along roads
Speeding, racing, roaring
Quick, loud,
Car


Unfortunately, I can't arrange the poem in a diamond shape here in Nairaland...oooops

You can mail me to see how it looks like.

Noble cares

Hallo fellow poet, I wish you all a wonderful week.

firestar:
I'm open to new ideas.

Alryt dear, i will be introducing a new type of poetry today, just follow the link above. There are two specific types and forms of poetry that will fit in with your style.

Noble cares

Visit the below link to learn types, styles, and forms of poetry...

https://www.nairaland.com/1958923/beauty-poetry

firestar:
Good evening, NNoble4d.

Lessons Learnt.

Inspired from Alicia Keys.

"I was burned, now I call it a lesson learned... Another lesson learned ~"

I didn't get u dear But there is a way you can write that to be beautiful. I can teach you if you r willing to learn.

Noble cares

OMA4U:
THE MAN BEHIND THE MIRROR

When rain and sun, drops and shines
When flowers and thorns grow in the same bouquet
When love and hates cloak under a garment
When light and darkness appear in a partial shadow
Then how do we separate evil from good
How do we see the man behind the mirror?

When life and death hover around a hanging breath
When countenance of smile and hiss grow on a face
When good and bad amalgamate as a ruler
When the infallible judge sits on a fence
When a coin stands on its rolling edge
Then how do we know the side it shows?

when water and fire well up in a well
when heaven and hell have a single passage
when magnanimous teeth furtively bite
Then how do we see the man behind the mirror?
Who reflects to us our needs in every way
But hides behind, watching as we waste away

When dirge and ode rhyme in one verse
When the holy go on pilgrimage in a cesspool
When wine and venom mix in a bottle
How do we see the man behind the mirror?
Who reflects to us our needs in every way
But stand behind, leading us astray


Tag:
Timpaker, deflover, Firestar, amiablejay,
princesa , Divepen, texanomaly, noble4d , badmusace, Chuksemi, royver

Nice 1 sir...four sestet...but would have love it more if is TERZA RIMA.

firestar:
Lesson Learnt

Shards on the cracked earth
Gathered underwater

Breaths and chokes
Inhales and swallows
Summits and valleys
Forests and meadows

Criss-crossed scars
Trap innocence behind bars

Never whole
Never there
Never again

And what is this called?

Wow! Congrats to the winners and the nominees.

@Divepen....give me the link of life under the table

noble is here.....thumbs up dear

noble is here

Wow! Still no entries, or is it hard? You can do it fellow poet...another installment coming on Monday.

Noble cares

laykorn:
OMA4U and noble4d,what do you sirs think about this? Instead of posting our poems devoid of 'stanzaic' beauty because of the way NL displays it without spaces,why don't we start doing something like this?

(STANZA1 )
Someday I shall rise and leave my friends.
And seek you again in the world's far ends.
You whom I had found so fair.
And my only god in the days that were.
.
(STANZA 2)
My eager feet shall find you again.
Though the sullen years and marks of pain.
Would have put an end to beauty's reign.
But of what is my gain?
For I now am ugly,ugly and pale.
.
There is a dot to separate between the stanzas.

But mine don't do that, maybe is your mobile.

Noble cares.

Hallo dear poet...try it out let's see what you got