₦airaland Forum

my sister is in the first month of her pregnancy and she has been having discharge for some time now, this morning she started seeing blood from her private part, pls what should we do.

before i met him there were so many ladies in his life then i refuse to ever kiss him not until we went for HIV test though he told me that he was not sleeping with all of them, i left the house because i was not happy and being the type of person i am, i can't fight any girl because over a guy and since we are not yet married he wants me to move in which am not going to do until after next month.
thanks to everyone that advised me i just on my phone and him called, he said he has been calling my line since last night well i want he to respect me, that was why i off my phone because i don't to take any kind of thing from him just because i want to get married because if i don't correct these things now that we are not married, he might still repeat it in marriage so that was why i off my phones, he even called my sister because he was worried, he was begging me to forgive him.

i need advice from married people in the house, i and my guy are planning our traditional wedding next month but before i agreed to marry him, he made a promise that no lady will enter his apartment again that is from the day i agreed to marry him and our preparation is in progress. i was with him yesterday being Sunday in the house when the first lady called and i heard through the phone when she asked him to come and follow her to her sister's place at Lekki, he told her that he can't go with her and ended the call without letting the lady say any thing more maybe because i was around.
when i asked him, he said that the lady is his customer, that he was just being nice to the lady and she misunderstood his being nice, well i allowed that one to pass. the next person that called was his ex - girlfriend and this girl is the person that he said left him for another guy but since we started preparing from our wedding she has been calling and sending different kind of text to him,she said that she wanted to come and visit him and he told her not to come but she still came with one of her friend. we were inside the house when they came and he went to met them outside and they were like he should invite them inside and give them something to eat and so he invited them in and i had to leave the house from the back door and went to one of the neighbor's flat, there was no fuel in the house, he had to send somebody to get fuel for him because there was no light, he was trying to make them very comfortable knowing that i was not happy with their coming. now everybody including him is saying that i should have stood my ground because am the woman of the house that i shouldn't have left the house because i was in the other flat until they left, the lady i went to her house saw that i was not happy and when she asked me what it was i have already started crying, i was so heart broken and she was like all men are the same, she was telling me about her own husband who bought a lady to the compound inside one other guy's flat and one pastor that lives in the compound that slept with the wife's sister.
so when the girls left, he went to see them off and when he came back he was begging me but i was very angry and since yesterday that i left the house i have not spoken to him and he has not call because my phones are off. right now i don't know what to do because am like would he had done the same thing if he has already married me. pls i need advice from experienced people before talking to him, i don't want to talk to my family and friends about it, pls i need help before i make mistake of a life time.

Pls let's not mock our christian faith with insultive words.

Christian stands for love and peace and there is no time that christ said we should fight for him. What CAN did was wrong because if we start reacting about everything said against christ we will no longer have peace and lovE which christ stand for.

My name is Dayo. I’m a typical Nigerian guy and I cherish my Fridays a lot; I get to hang out with the sickest guys every Friday night and secondly, It’s another escape from my nagging and boring wife. I get confused sometimes on whether she’s my mother or my wife. Don’t get it twisted; I love her pieces. It just gets complicated; like I wish we never got married…marriage has turned her into something that doesn’t amuse me. I wish she was still the adventurous, charming, high spirited lady I dated for five years.

A lot of people say its unethical for married guys to be found in a club, but I wish everyone won’t be too quick to judge and understand that people look for fun to run away from their problems; they just want to breathe, like me.

I forgot to say that I work in Guarantee Trust Bank along Lekki, I love my job and my job loves me, maybe its because I’m the senior banking officer. Lol. This particular morning, a lady breezed into my office. My heart raced faster because I had not sighted anything this beautiful in a long while. She wasn’t the typical slender Barbie, in fact, she was a bit chubby but her smile, cuteness and…I was tripped.

“Hi Good morning! Your ATM has swallowed my card!” She laughed, unlike a typical customer that would ram you.

I just tried to form Boss laughter…

“Good morning, You know what? I’d personally make sure they get it out for you, but not today. Can you wait till Monday?” I smiled

“GTB shaaa! OK, can I just drop my number so you could call me up or just text when its ready so I don’t come twice? Please? My name is Nancy” She blinked her eyes in a funny way.

“Sure” I smiled

We exchanged numbers. What a lucky Friday!

So it was 10:00pm and I headed to the club…as usual my friends were chilling for me. My wife had called a couple of times, I just ignored it. She knows I’m never home Friday nights.

“Look at you!” I heard someone say. I raised my head and it was the ATM lady-Nancy.

“Wow, look at you too!” I was surprised to see her but I was happy I didn’t have to wait till Monday to see her again.

“Happy Friday!” She screamed because of the noise, “Wanna dance?”

I didn’t even have the chance to answer, she already pulled me to dance floor. I really suck at dancing but she helped me; she was a great dancer! I had fun! At some point we decided to go to a private area and we talked, ranging from work, business to personal life. I tried to hide my ring as much as possible, I certainly didn’t want this to end now.

“You are a really wonderful lady. You are so interesting…any guy would want to be with you all day” I said.

“I wasn’t always like this but I have learned the hard way that life is just too short to be sad” she sang

Then her phone rang…

“Hey baby! Yeah I’m at the private lounge, I’d like you to meet someone…alright boo” she talked excitedly as usual.

I was in shock until this tall handsome man walks up to her and kisses her.

“You were late. Meet Dayo; I met him this morning, he’s helping with your ATM I told you got swallowed and Dayo this is my B to the O-O,” she laughed “Meet my husband Kolade, we only come here to dance every fortnight Friday; away from work, stress and kids.”

“Wow, a pleasure” I managed to shake him

Then she stood now excitedly holding her husband’s arms.

“Why don’t we invite Dayo for Mimi’s 16th birthday tomorrow?” Her husband said

They have kids too? How long have they been married and they look like a couple just dating!

“Silly me, please come for my second daughter’s 16th tomorrow. It would be an honor” She brought out an I.V from her purse.

I began to feel so ashamed of myself…this was another guy like me, getting it right with one woman.

I collected the I.V and promised to be there.

“See you tomorrow! Have you had something to eat Kolade?” she talked and dragged her husband along.

They left and I kept staring at the thin air like I had seen a ghost. They come just to dance together every fortnight Fridays? Why didn’t I think of that! Temi loves to dance…she also likes long walks, she loves to talk…she loves jazz music, there’s this vivid picture I have of me putting her hand on my chest when we danced at a jazz club on our first year anniversary…I found myself typing all the things I knew Temi loved to do on my Ipad and I realized I had denied her of all…I had made her the old woman she acts.

What the hell was I doing here! I didn’t even tell my friends goodbye, I walked out of the club into my Jaguar. Temi’s call came through and I picked at first ring.

“Temi?” My heart raced

“I know you are not coming home…”

“I am, stay up so we can gist. Been a while” I decided to do everything on that list and to even add many more for the rest of my lifetime with her.

“Are you alright?” She was shocked I suppose

“And I’d like us to go for a birthday party tomorrow. I want you to meet this amazing couple”

“You sound different Dayo”

“Maybe I’m different”

“Don’t say it! don’t say it! when you come we will gist very well” she laughed

She laughed!!! In just that laughter that I hadn’t heard in a while, she sounded like the lady I married six years ago…

Dear reader,

I wrote this natural piece just to remind us that creating memorable moments with our partner matters. Do you know that little things are the sweetest things? Just creating time to gist and laugh with your partner, having a day in the week that’s exclusively for you both-No friends or kids allowed.

Lady, when last have you told your partner he is so darn hot? Guy! When last have you told your lady she is the sweetest thing? When last have you whispered ‘Thank you’? When last have you been quick to say ‘I’m sorry’?

Do you even have a clue on what your partner loves to do?

When you ignore little things, they are the little pieces of rocks that build up to become a mountain you can’t easily break down.

Pay attention to little things, believe that they work and experience new bliss!

Yours Truly. Dayo

A lady residing in Lagos Nigeria, BB pin 236C7422

Serious for what i said his wife dead some years back i think that shld be in 2010 or so. Then he was still the diector of NDDC so my dear i knw what am saying. She dead of cancer

He losted his wife some years back

A lady close to my office called me today after work and told me that a man and a woman came to ask about me today, she said they asked her about my character and if i was a good girl. When i ask her who they were she said that she does not really know them but from the way they asked about me and even called my name that it shows that they know me. I dont really know who is pple are or what they want. My question now is can a man ask pple about a woman that does not know him or a woman that he has not talk to.

It not really because i saw him with a girl that made me what to quit, before now he use to be all over me, he did not want me to keep friends both male and female and every day when i get to work i must let him know that i have gotten to work. It was not actually a street thing because he use to come to my house. He promised me marriage and i believe so much that marriage is holy when the bed has not been defiled, so at that point i felt he leave because of the sexual part of the relationship thought we discused and agreed on it. So right now i dont know what him wants by coming back and what of if he did not see me on the day he saw me will he be talking of coming back to my life.
I agreed that i offended him but what he is saying now is that i spoiled it and that i should have made sure that i fixed it. Was i suppose to go on my kneel before he will know that i was sorry and beside the pains that i went thru dat first month i dont think i want to go thru such pain again. So dats why i think that am not ready to go back to him.

i had a little misunderstanding with my bf and after some time i called him and apologized, he said everything was OK and that he was just coming back from church and promised calling me back which he never did, since want happened between us was just a little misunderstanding i was not expecting him to react the way he did because this was the same guy that was head over heel in love with me or so i thought. for almost two months he did not call me on phone and i refuse to call him too, there was a day i saw him seeing a girl off but on that day he did not see me, so two days ago we saw face to face and he was telling me that he lost his phone and there was no way for him to reach me and this same guy knows my house and even my sister's house and his reason was that he did not know how to come to my house and ask my mum for my no in a case where am not in. so now he said he want us back together but for me i dont think that i still want this relationship but i have not told him so. how will i handle this case in a mature way.

how much longer do you want her to wait for you

pls where is the concluding part of this story.

i believe that once a man stop calling you the way he use to call before that means my dear there is something really wrong somewhere, for most guy once they sleep with you, they may actually loose interest in you. that's why i do not agree in sex before marriage.

1) ugly but caring guy.
2) handsome but rude
3) handsome, caring but lives on your income
4) rich, caring but obnoxious and snobbish
5) God fearing, caring, faithful, truthful but lazy to work
6) educated, rich, handsome, caring but uses you as a punching bag
7) rich, caring, handsome, God fearing, faithful, truthful but impotent
PLS BE HONEST GIRLS....

"when i got home that night as my wife served dinner, i held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. she sat down and ate quietly. again i observed the hurt in her eyes.
suddenly i didn't know what i was thinking. i want a divorce. i raised the topic calmly. she didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
i avoided her question. this made her angry. she threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! that night, we didn't talk to each other. she was weeping. i knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. but i could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. i didn't love her anymore. i just pitied her!
with a deep sense of guilt, i drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company. she glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. the woman who had spend ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. i felt sorry for her wasted time,resources and energy but i could not take back what i had said for i loved Jane so dearly. finally she cried loudly in front of me,which was what i had expected to see. to me her cry was actually a kind of release. the idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clear now.
the next day, i came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. i didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because i was tired after an eventful day with Jane. when i woke up, she was still there at the table writing. i just did not care so i turned over and was asleep again.
in the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage. this was agreeable to me. but she had something more, she asked me to recall how i had carried her into our wedding day. she requested that every day for the month's duration i carry her out of our bedroom to the front door every morning. i thought she was going crazy. just to make our last days together bearable i accepted her odd request.
i told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions... she laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. no matter what tricks she applies, she had to face the divorce, she said scornfully.
my wife and i hadn't had anybody contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. so when i carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. his words brought me a sense of pain. from the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, i walked over ten meters with her in my arms. she closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. i nodded, feeling somewhat upset. i put her down outside the door. she went to wait for bus to work. i drove alone to the office.
on the second day, both of us acted much more easily. she leaned on my chest. i could smell the fragrance of her blouse. i realized she was not young anymore. there were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! our marriage had taken its toll on her. for a minute i wondered what i had done to her.
on the fourth day, when i lifted her up, i felt a sense of intimacy returning. this was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me. on the fifth and sixty day, i realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. i didn't tell Jane about this. it became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. perhaps the everyday work out made me stronger.
she was choosing what to wear one morning. she tired on quite a few dressed but could not find a suitable one. then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. i suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why i could carry her more easily. suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. subconsciously i reached out and touch her head.
our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. to him seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. my wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. i turned my face away because i was afraid i might change my mind at this last minute. i then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. i held her body tightly, it was just like our wedding day.
but her much lighter weight made me sad. on the last day, when i held her in my arms i could hardly move a step. our son had gone to school. i held her tightly and said, i hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy. i drove to office... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. i was afraid any delay would make me change my mind... i walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and i said to her sorry, Jane, i do not want the divorce anymore.
she looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. do you have fever? she said. i moved her hand off my head. sorry Jane i said, i won't divorce. my marriage life was boring probably because she and i didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. now i realize that since i carried her into my home on our wedding day i am supposed to hold her until death do us apart. Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. she gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. i walked downstairs and drove away. at the floral shop on the way, i ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. the salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. i smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us part.
that evening i arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, i run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed dead. my wife had been fighting with CANCER for months and i was so busy with Jane to even notice. she knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push through with the divorce. - at least, in the eye of our son - I'm a loving husband....
the small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. it is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. these create an environment conductive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves.
so find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. do have a real happy marriage.
if you share this, you just might save a marriage. many if life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

this was what we discussed yesterday and i still keep on asking who really is to blame in separation,a man said that 95% of the blame should go to the man and another person said that it should not be a blaming game . i think the both couple should put hands together to make it work and what if one of them is not ready to let it work, what should the other person do in this kind condition.

it really depend on the individuals involve and their way of understanding because i know pple dat lives in the same street that have been dating for years and they actually got married last xmas, but for me i have not and i dont think i will because am too emotional, what of if he dumps me tomorrow for another.

can a Nigeria girl actually marry a Ghana man.

Lord i need a bit of help, it's about saying sorry. why is it too hard to say sorry? it's easy enough to pronounce, easy to spell, takes very little to say so, where is the problem? it's the reason for saying it. Then accepting that you have to admit to some one that you have to say sorry to them.
   It hit home, Lord damages your self image, your pride, your confidence,your credibility.
and there lies the problem. pride, too proud to say "sorry" i wonder how many friendship have been spoilt because someone was too proud to say: i am sorry" just how many marriages would still be going if only one partner turned and say "i am sorry.
"i am sorry" surely it doesn't hurt that much. teach me to say, "sorry" lord
To admit when i am wrong and have the courage to admit it even if it hurt.
To achieve that could save a friendship, a marriage and a life. and lord teach me to forgive, to hold no grudges even when those concerned don't say "sorry" and for not offering forgiveness. i am sorry. pls as we remember the birth of Christ pls  say sorry to someone today and your life will never remind the same.

i dont think you should tell her but after marrying her are u sure that u will be able to stay away from her sis, if u cant pls call off the wedding.

he said there is no wife anywhere but i dont believe him because since he came back to me about three months ago, i have not said anything about coming to his place so i told him this evening that i will come to his house this weekend and he told me that i should give him time. so i dont really know what is going on around is guy, pls should i let him go.

he is here, pls how do i start confronting him because i dont know what to say.

thanks very much, he is coming around this evening so i will have to confront him.

he used to be my boyfriend years back, then he was already working when we separated that was the same time that i gained admission into the university,after my service year i got a job and few month later he called me and said he had some thing important that he wanted to see me for and some days later he came to my sister's place because i stay with my sister and her family later that evening we went out to a bar and he told me that he wants to settle down and that he does not know any other girl expect me,he said that after we separated that he dated other girls but it did not work out with any one of them.
for the past three months he calls me on daily bases but i know that he was hiding some thing from me not until yesterday that i met one of his old friend who told me that this guy is married and that he is married to a lady from my place,he said the guy was having problem when he met the lady and then the lady was handling her brother's money because the brother does not live here in nigeria but after they got married the brother took everything from the lady and he said that he saw the last, seven months agoand that him and his wife where having problem but what he does not know is if they are still living together.
pls should i confront him or i should just let everything end like that because i have answering his calls. pls i need good advice.