₦airaland Forum

papaejima20199:
This is my first time posting NL , although I've been reading a lot in the last few months . I'll try to be as detailed as possible. I don't even know if I'm asking a question, or advice, or what. I just have to get some things out of my brain.

I’m 36 and my wife is 32. we've been married for 12 years and have two children, twins age 1. I would say happily married. As in, we don't fight, , never any abuse of any kind, no major life disagreements. I love my wife. She is a great mother, a great provider for the family, and we make a great team when it comes to raising our kids. However, she leaves me feeling undesired. Sexually, just intimacy in general, not feeling wanted or desired, missing that flirtatious quality that we all enjoy in a relationship. Our sex life has been on a steady decline, honestly since we got married. Less and less and less every year, and yes, kids make that even more difficult (and provide very easy excuses)

About 2 years ago, I was close to cheating. There was a girl at work that I flirted with often. We started hanging out , and we always seemed to end up talking, touching innocently, flirting, but nothing ever happened between us. The feeling this girl gave me inspired me to tell my wife how I was feeling, what I was missing, etc. I told her how important sex was to me, asked her what I could change, or if she needed to change something. Her response was that she "just didn't really think about it like you do" and that she would try to work on it. Well she didn't work on it, at all.

The flirty girl didn't work with me any more, and I lost that "flame" with her and let it go, and went about life as usual. I've been working a lot of hours over the last six months. I fell into this flirty relationship with one of my coworkers 22 and we just would have a lot of fun with one another. Mad sexual tension. A few months back things happen and she blows me. Its great. Best sex of my life. We set up plans to meet up off work hours and we do.

My coworker is in perfect shape. Its like my perfect woman. I love the way she loves me. She appreciates me, she satisfies me, she matches my sexual drive, and even exceeds it. She is everything I was missing in life, and I'm as happy as I've been in a long time. She is also crazy about me which feels unbelievable. Its been a while since someone has just wanted me to be happy and wanted to please me. I now consider her my girlfriend.

I don't wish to hurt my wife. But I do wish to be happy.

I do not wish for my children to grow up in a home with divorce. I want them to grow up with myself and my wife still being the team we've been so far, doing equal parts to take care of them, and always be there for them.

I realize a lot of what I'm saying are things that can't go together. I want to be with my girlfriend, I don't want to hurt my wife, and I don't want my kids to suffer . I can't have it all. Now I feel stuck

I need help because I can't seem to go through with this alone, and I have no one close enough with the time and level of trust that I can confide in, so I would really appreciate it if you'd offer me some advice.

Thanks for reading

i just wish i can see u, because u need serious counselling on marriage, what if this case is the other way round, instead of u to look for ways to spice up ur sex life u just want to destroy ur family u suffered to develop, keep ur sex in the office there o, dont shatter ur marriage o so u dont regret las las

Nukilia:
Leave it for God! Let's donate that money for those with health conditions

I LOVE THIS REPLY, THERE IS A BEDRIDDEN WOMAN THAT HAS NO HUSBAND WITH TWO KIDS AND SUFFERING FROM COLON CANCER.
I REALLY SHED TEARS SEEING THE CONDITION SHE IS PASSING THROUGH WITHOUT ANY FORM OF HELP. SHE IS THE TYPE THAT NEEDS
THIS CONTRIBUTION. I JUST PRAY FOR HELP, ANY WELL MEANING NIGERIAN NEEDS TO SEE HER, YOU WILL CRY YOUR EYES OUT.
SHE HAS COLON CANCER, ANY HAS NO MONEY FOR MEDICATIONS, ITS SO PAINFUL AND SHE NEEDS SURGERY
MEDICAL DOCTORS IN THE HOUSE PLEASE HELP SAVE A LIFE

Meanwhile, back to the topic, it seems America is at a fix, luckily, there was no American life lost in the Iranian retaliatory strike except damage to helicopters and facilities at the US base. At least Iran can save face.
Any further US attack will see Iran hitting US bases in Dubai UAE and Haifa Israel as they have threatened which can draw those countries into a wider conflict. We call on Trump to deescalate the tension and keep his masculine ego in check for the sake of citizens of Iran and USA.

Russia has the best air defence systems (S-400) contrary to what US has been telling the world about their over priced Patriot missile defence systems which failed Saudi Arabia during an Iran backed Houthi drone strike that cut its oil production by half and failed them again yesterday in Iraq, it means that Iran is aware of its capabilities to hit targets, mind you, Iranians have spent the last 40 years preparing for a day like this and Persians are the most technologically advanced group in the Middle East after Israel.
In an open war America will win against Iran but they will be seriously bloodied, it will be a victory they will not be able to celebrate.
Let cool heads take control now.[/quote]my brother say what you know o. is the s-400 better than the tried and tested iron dome of isreal. iran will lose heavily if they continue this thier mumu propaganda.

Emilokoiyawon:
Nigeria is NOT a Muslim nation. Nigeria is NOT a Christian nation. So Benny Hinn should SHUT DA FVCK UP

it is either u are mad or maybe the bomb blast in Maiduguri has nullified ur sense of reasoning. so Nigeria is not a Muslim country but it is registered in OIC( organization of Islamic countries) Mumu.

zoba88:
Nigerian musician, Peter ‘PSquare’ Okoye of the former Psquare group was at the Estadio de la Ceramica on Saturday to watch Villarreal’s Samuel Chukwueze confront Granada’s Ramon Azeez in a thrilling Laliga match that ended 4-4.

Peter PSquare met Chukwueze at the ground after the game and was presented with a Villarreal’s jersey with his full name inscribed at the back.


The photos were shared on Villarreal's Facebook page




Source: http://www.trezzyhelm.com/2019/08/peter-okoye-visits-samuel-chukwueze-in.html

ABEG WETIN DEY CHUKWUEZE LEG. I BELIEVE IT IS NOT WHAT AM THINKING O!!!

Timil:
I've been thinking of this but when I think of how much we love each other and how young the relationship is I feel like staying in the relationship.

Imagine!!! You are busy talking of love when your life is at stake. Its very obvious u have not mended before. They there they profess love until u spend weeks in the hospital.

[quote author=sirdouglas post=79985322]What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being?

Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision.

Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that.






Shit do I know but what about the future of the young lady. Bruv please be more considerate with handling this kind of sensitive matters. Advice on nairaland is not the best. What about your parents. What's there say on it. I think you should talk to them and then know the way forward

Goodluck to them

SETTINGZ0000000:
Lie


How on earth can this man be James bond
Maybe 002

Indomie generation what do u about 007

please am I the only person seeing the red cloth tied to the gun nozzle. hmmm up 9ja.
naija soldiers and juju nah 5 and 6 oo

please am I the only person seeing the red cloth tied to the gun nozzle. hmmm up 9ja.
naija soldiers and juju nah 5 and 6 oo

valicious1:
Be like say u wan make Afonja dem swear for u dis night.

abeg make una no vex o nah only Yoruba and Igbo dey 9ja so
cos I am not understanding them them always for important positions and feats in the world. what of our brodas from the up

tuzle:
What a record in just five days, what it took infinity wars 11 days to reach. I knew it will perform well, probably pass titanic, but it can never pass avatar, that film is legendary. I remember when I started reading comics, people who saw me back then make fun of me that at my age I still read comics, now the same people will queue to watch end game, please o, what is the difference?

the difference no much sha
just that u were the fool then and they are the fool now

buygala:
He is actually right

If at 40, Nothing has made you fly in an airplane, even if it's from Abuja to Lagos, then there is definitely something wrong with your standard of living and improvement in capacity to afford life's little conveniences


This is my opinion please....I don't have energy for fight

please my dear go and read about the founder of Kentucky fried chicken (KFC) that is when u will understand that when one woke up is his/her morning. thanks

tactius:
We are not developed because most of you guys want to work in an office. You don't want to work with your hands.

You want to live in an airconditioned house, and pay very low bills for electric power....which means that the power sector in this country cannot fund itself adequaltely, and as a result, we don't have light. And we cannot improve refining power, or pay for better gas processing because everything must be subsidsed, even at the expense of profits and investment.

You don't want to get your hands dirty inventing things, and you mock the apprentice mechanic and plumber as an 'illiterate'. You don;t want to invent or create, you want ready made...ready made...and you waste billions on your business importing stuff.

You complain about APC that is in power now...yes, they are all a bad lot, but you want to replace them with PDP which has some of the same people that were in the bad APC government, and many of the peoiple that did nothing for 16 years, and you pretend that all the corruption that led to the mess of the last 3 -4 years never happened. You fight over tribe, open tribal trheads that mock tribes for being thieves, armed robbers, and traffickers, etc....and you support corrupt people because they are on your side.

You want to be like Japan, a country where people worked their asses off to develop, while in Nigeria, our offices are populated with people who are not working hard enough and doung nothing. You want a government job where you can sit down, laze around and collect your salary at the end of the day...which you would use to purchanse imported stuff.

So, better make the changes needed. Work hard. Stop focusing on oil money...and yes that includes those from oil producing areas. Stop fighting for Biafra, Sharia, OODUA, middle belt, Boko, etc...and work, work work.

please shut up if u have nothing better to say.I presume u are the lazy fool buhari was talking about. who told u the youths are lazy and expects to work only in comfort zones. that's how u go about spoiling the image the youths. all over the world Nigerians are among the most hardworking that u are lazy doesn't mean that others are. as far as we continue to chase shadows leaving substance we are going to remain like this. your brain is so fucking dead that u don't understand what he meant by using the wisdom of the old and the strength of the young. instead u are here criticizing him. please ask Almighty God to give u small wisdom so u can see where this country Nigeria is heading to.

[quote author=pldxxz post=77235160][/quote]please who be this fool. why can't some boys on this forum keep their adolescent traits private. nawaoo

Uyi168:
..

so what are u actually saying naw ode

Lekan1o1:
I'm a Yoruba but, I must admit igbo ladies are brilliant.. I schooled with a lot of them back then

I love when people are honest despite ethnic differences

franchasng:
O to ge is good for Bukola Saraki but O to ge is not good for Tinubu, keep deceiving yourselves

For those saying that Lagos is developed by Tinubu, please let me educate you just small:

Lagos has been the capital city of Nigeria since 1914 after it was moved from Calabar. This means Lagos enjoyed federal government development just like Abuja today. Can any Abuja Mayor claim he built or developed Abuja to what it is today 90% of developments in Abuja is built by Federal Government, and mind you, Abuja became Nigeria's capital from 1991 december, now compare it with Lagos that became the capital city of Nigeria from 1914 january till December 1991.

In fact Lagos is going backward compared to other top city centers in Africa like Lagos and its all because of Tinubu's greed and grip on Lagos.

Lagos seaport enjoyed colonial master and federal government's immunity and favor, making it the most functional seaport in the whole of Nigeria where 80 - 95% of Nigeria's importation and exportation businesses take place, thereby bringing a concentration of multinational and indigenous businesses (both small, medium and large scale) to Lagos for ease of business transaction since most Nigerian businesses depend solely on importation from outside Nigeria.

What does this mean It means Lagos Internally Generated Revenue alone is almost same with that of Nigeria as a whole since 90% of most businesses are done through Lagos seaport making every business to move to Lagos to cut down cost of logistics, now tell me how this is Tinubu's making

A mad man will perform in Lagos due to the enormous IGR and concentration of companies, industries, businesses, entrepreneurs, etc in Lagos.

It is Federal government of Nigeria that built all the magnificent structures you see in Lagos today, quote me anywhere any day any time.

Name the structures Tinubu built in Lagos, name one if not planting flowers, building roundabouts and brt lanes, what else can Tinubu + Fashola + Ambode boast of as their developmental achievement in Lagos since democracy kicked off in 1999

3rd Mainland bridge and most bridges linking Lagos cities were built by federal government of Nigeria under the military government, and most of these structures are dilapidated before your own eyes without Lagos government being able to even maintain them.

Go round Lagos, most inter city, estate and street roads built by military governments are gone and local governments can't even maintain them simply because the LGA Chairmen remit large percentage of LGA development project funds to Tinubu and political allies, so LGAs are left with no money to maintain roads and infrastructures in their local government areas....

Travel round Lagos, you will spend hours in traffic on a journey of 20 minutes just because no good road networks in Lagos, the few good ones are filled with potholes, Lagos as we speak have no smooth roads again, its even Ambode that tried to build some new roads around Abule-egba, Epe, etc, before now, those areas are unmotorable, so what is Tinubu's developmental contribution to Lagos if not stealing and killing political opponents

The only laudable project started by Lagos is the Badagry railway to west africa which has been lingering since 2007...

The developments you see in Lagos are built by private organizations and individuals who reside in Lagos and have their investments in Lagos...Lagos is dying and going back due to Tinubu's grip and greed, kiss the truth

TELL THEM O

Oklander:
If this isn't what happened, what would follow Yemi Alade? Coz I heard the guy was hit by a stray bullet!

so u don't the meaning of stray bullet in Nigeria I pray such don't happen to any member of ur family. who did the officer want to shoot at first in a polling booth. God save us all. please put urself in the position of the poor boy b4 quoting people. hope u saw the stray bullet from the customs official days ago.

NaijaOlosho:
Flavour My sweet honey pie

Mummy Misses you so much
I miss your fucking energy
We will still hang out again soonest

who be dis retarded and myopic fellow

nwosu35:
My little advise but l don't know if it goes well with u, please sell the Android phone you are using reasons been that u will save money from buying data and phone sales and it will enable u use ur precious time to huzzle instead of coming to nairaland, that's the first advise, if you achieve this then come for the second.

Thanks

in life u can't give one life by making the person sell the one he already have. pls poster just send ur acc no. quote me and type it

Tapout:
i don't think they are dating... That's xbusta a former 5star entertainment artist... He also studied at imsu . those pictures are from his new music(ogologo) video shoot ft Harrysong and nina.

no mind bloggers and their lies as an ex IMO star. dey both graduated from the same school so dey are just good friends nothing more.

buhariguy:
you see your jobless terrorist life .
So as thief atiku has lost, you will start to agitate again ..
I will be waiting for the jobless aggressive lazy idiotic pigs by Feb 20, to start shouting lefelendum.

my prayers for u is that the good lord must dash u sense

buhariguy:
Terrorist nnamdi KANU is dead. He could not survive Python dance

God of Nazareth does this one have sense at all I wonder oo

CreamyBanana:
The guy resemble me no be small.

who tell you?

Racoon:
Still manifesting the incredible stupidity inherent in them having appointed dead people into government boards, ban dead people from travelling nor will they allow them rest in peace by evoking the sad memories of their demise because of politics.Lifeless govt.of the dead.

i am pained because this fish brain of a woman is Igbo by tribe.tufiakwa ihe ojoo gbaa afo. I pity your children

[quote author=Daboomb post=72808462]Its borne out of GREED and unbriddled love of money.
let them go and love Emeka wey dey sell Galla at Onicha bridgehead.[/quote

I wonder the version of sense pple like u use.mumu

wat is this retarded man saying self. u and ur in law have successfully wrecked IMO state and naw u are talking of continuing again.