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Nairaland Forum / Nairaland / General / Romance / She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. (83875 Views)
I Honestly Think My Boyfriend Wants To Use Me For Ritual / I Honestly Need Your Helps. / Married Man With 7 Wives Gets 22-Year-Old Side Chick Pregnant With Twins. (2) (3) (4)
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Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by charlsecy(m): 9:37am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas:That's not proof. 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by rosalieene(f): 9:46am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas,I understand clearly...... truth is, there is no connection between you both, also, girls that age behave same way. the mistake you made is that you shouldn't have continued your sexual relations with her. Also, you don't love her as much if not, your love would have covered up all her shortcomings. Getting married to her is your choice..... you really need to seat down and weigh the pros and cons. in another dimension, would you want you kids to grow up wishing that their both parents are together? if you really want to be in your kids life for life, it means you will be in constant communication with the girl. I think your main problem here is that you don't love her You can actually build her into the woman you want, it's not easy to find a woman who love you for you. well, the choice is yours. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by sahm4u2nv(m): 9:52am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Dear King, I'm sorry to tell you this, you may feel bad tho but uncle you're wicked, NOTE I'm not saying you should marry her out of pity o Just ask yourself, what if a man do this to my daughter of sister how will I feel? Use the answer to make your final decision. I wish you well in your endeavors 7 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by livinbygrace: 9:55am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas: My brother,you have the guts to tell the girl"s parent that you cant marry their daugther but you are fucking her and got her pregnant.Try this with a Native Yoruba family and you will see the reason why fowl no dey piss. You even get luck to travel out,by the time you see yourself for Muritala International airport with bathroom sleepers and nylon bag,nobody will tell you to go and beg the girl.I am talking from experience. 8 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by skyisthelimit(m): 9:56am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Guy, once you bring your issue to the public, expect criticism. Life's actions and inactions comes with consequences; a lot of lives not just yours ends up being distorted so eschew any sense of entitlement. For now please pray for a safe delivery for that lady. Once you confirm the kids are yours, then it will be time for serious decision making. That lady with all her supposed inadequacies will be their mother and I believe you will want the best for your kids. If the kids end up not being yours, it is your discretion to act like an old friend once a while. You don't have to marry her, you don't even have to take care of the kids even if they end of becoming yours, it is all up to you because men do it but you will live with your decision because eventually it is your life; however I am very sure you know that the innocent kids deserve better. If/how you will love and wish the best for your kids and disregard who birthed them, you will decide. Everyone here is advising you on what we believe is proper. Even though Nigerian youths are allegedly 'idle and lazy' you should be happy we are still giving you our two cents despite the daily hardships we face ; in this life you can learn from a mad man.I will not judge you but I believe you should know already that perfection is utopian. The kids won't just pop out, it is a woman, someone's sister and daughter that will birthed them, try focus less on the kids now and focus on the life of the person carrying them. She has to first give birth successfully before all these arguments. May be I skipped it somewhere but she should be under going ante-natal care now so who is ensuring that goes smoothly. This is a time to pray for the safe delivery of the kids, safety of mother and child/ren then the wisdom to make the right decisions based on the outcomes of the former. NEVER ever under estimate the strength of a lady/woman irrespective of whatever let alone one that probably birthed children for you...examples abound. So try handle this thing with wisdom so you can focus on the reason you are abroad. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Chikaa444: 9:57am On Jul 07, 2019 |
[quote author=Chi59 post=79998185]Bros, would you like someone to do to your sister what you just did to her? You knew she was too young, too naive, didn't have a mind of her own bla bla, yet you kept nacking her till she took in. From the first paragraph, I knew you're the one with the problem. She barely asks from you, and when she does, you ignore her. Now you want to leave her to raise those twins. You're a bad person. Yes, I'm judging The worst was that, after the whole sex thingy he never used any precautionary method to avoid pregnancy. Wetin do postinor since you knew you won't marry her and she been naive.. 6 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Obaakran: 9:58am On Jul 07, 2019 |
dyze: I'm telling you, his responses to people has being purging me 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Oghidi: 10:00am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Well said, if both of you love each other marry her and change her never mind the characters possessed by her as it stands now. If the true love is there you can make things right 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by streetzdreamz(m): 10:01am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas:bro,we humans are always quick to point fingers,howbeit we are guilty of worse crimes,a case of pot,kettle calling! Nothing can make you keep a woman you don't want,even if she's there by your side you won't have that peace you deserve,you did right by treating her well and telling her the truth,why she kept coming back after knowing you don't want her is what I can't figure,your only crime was having unprotected sex, and even at that you took responsibility for the pregnancy,if that's not enough atonement I wonder what else would suffice,don't seek public justification on this matter,we humans can be unreasonable atimes,speak to your elders and they'll talk you through the traditions,keep your kids and cater for them,no one's happiness should come first but yours,then others.........I was in a relationship with a very beautiful lady,good natured and all but I knew it wouldn't work out,so I ended things and folks around screamed bloody murder,they tagged me mean and wicked,I wonder when being true to one's self,and not leading people on,based on lies became a crime, honesty this days is a damn rare commodity. 3 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by pattybf(f): 10:01am On Jul 07, 2019 |
I don't know how old u r but I see a full grown man who had everything planned out right from d onset. U chose a naive young girl , cos u know that no matured lady would fall for this gimicks. Tho, I'm trying hard to figure out why u so bad wanted d kid(s). Either u ve been confirmed infertile n now surprised u cld be fertile after all, or u ve chosen d part of baby fatherism like some of our yeyebrities! What was d reason to go for medical test n treatment? I guess ur time was running out, yet no pregnancy on sight, u had to treat her of infection, so she cld conceive before ur travel plans matures. Looking at 5yrs added to ur age, u want to ve something on ground, so u can live a free life n possibly marry someone else. U r selfish n wicked. 7 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by engrofodile: 10:11am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas: Fit your profile bro what profile if I may ask. I'll advice you go for a paternity test and marry the Lady if the babies are yours. I don't really know the kind of profile or family you want to have in future if you end up not marrying her if you the one that did the deed. Then again 'the lady that fits for profile bs'. May I asked you are probably above 28 or there abt how many of them have you met and why didn't you date them. Am not wishing you ill but you might end up marrying someone way below your status if care is not taken. All your narratives all I see the girl did wrong was loving you too much. And that's the problem most guys have cos she loves you very much you treat her like shit. I bet you when she withdraws the attention you will know how much u miss her. Well the decision is yours I hope you don't end up making someone's life miserable cos she doesn't fit your profile. That's bullshit. All the best 3 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Melonny(m): 10:20am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas:Since you've always wanted to make her improve, you can accept her and help her...Help should be easy in a Foreign country.. Don't marry out of pity. You wouldn't want to be deported back to Nigeria because of a stup!d wife. .. You have a choice to make, bro. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by 400billionman: 10:23am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas: One of my uncles said his wife is not intelligent. He won't marry. His mentor told him he must marry that girl. He married her, now it's 4 beautiful children. The wife is the one feeding the family now and even building houses. Don't look down on anybody even that lady may feed you tomorrow. Success is not related to IQ. 4 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by onimama19(m): 10:29am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Dear brother, I will advice you to marry her so far she is also blessing to you, forget about not educated or sharp, build her up to ur taste and save her from embarrassment, at times we men marry out of pity when we see that is favourable, and isn't easy for her to remarry again before she we see good man to get her marry again we be though, marry her and build her to ur taste, God bless you 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by AmazingELixir: 10:41am On Jul 07, 2019 |
OP what has happened has happened ....I know if it were possible to roll back time you would have opted to use condom after realising she's doesn't meet your specification as a life partner. Who are we to judge you..if pastors and revered men could fall to carnal desires how much more the congregants. But fact remains that you'll be making a more devastating and terrible mistake if you marry out of pity or worse still to someone you don't have the right kind of connection with Even persons that were hitherto madly in love and felt really connected prior to marriage has often times become mortal enemies in the course of wedlock as we have experienced on countless occasions in our every day lives even on this platform I really commend your sincerity and empathy for the young lady, its little use putting the horse before the cart, get the DNA test done after she has put to birth, on confirmation that its actually yours provide all necessary assistance you can for both mother and kids and ensure you play very active and substantive role in their upbringing and most importantly get your family back home involved actively this time before she puts to birth. On a more lighter note considering your perception about the young lady's family structure, you think it's a proper setting to raise your would-be twins ....hence the need to get your family involved at this stage. I repeat never do anything or make any decision that is at variance with your peace of mind, don't be a victim of gender skewed parochial sentiments expressed here....marriage is to be enjoyed not endured. O'pari |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by cnonyechi(f): 10:49am On Jul 07, 2019 |
PrinceCharmings:Oh yes but he has to after making her a second hand property not just with one baby but 2. Assuming d girl is ur sister how will u feel. He shld have used condoms right from d onset dat way he wouldn't have to come to nairaland to tell us stories. 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Joebie: 10:52am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Well I already said “most likely”. That means there is still a chance, though little, it could go the other way. They should both learn their lessons and remain friends for now. You never know he may develop feelings for her eventually,and it may go the other way. I won’t advise him to rush into it as he is not ready. Give it time. skukimania: 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by raphy(m): 10:54am On Jul 07, 2019 |
by the write ups I think the poster is a matured person and the sir suit his name so well. so the ball is in his court if he will take the kids as his when he find out they are from his seamen.. you can never tell girls of now a days can try to hook you with baby so you won't go any where you want to. as her parents knows he is not in the country but stills send money for her up keeps he is a responsible man. when he is back in the country any day he will do perternity test . so you guys should not hang him on the cross I think he is better than all the guys who put a girl in the family way and deny or run away. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by AUTOCRATIC(m): 10:55am On Jul 07, 2019 |
My brother, the girl's siblings who are so much on her neck are already doing their worst. For the parent who appears to be simple in as much as you are ready to be responsible for the pregnancy, they are waiting for you, don't think they are happy with you, they are only handling issues as an elder...... Baba, have it in mind that they can deal with you spiritually once they are ready, especially the mother. In a nutshell, if those twins are eventually yours, it's certain you are going to invest so much on them, and if similar thing are done to them, tell us what will be your position? You are in the position to train that girl to your taste which have not done enough. Infection can be contacted through the toilet, that's not an issue, provided you have not caught her with a man. You don't want to marry from Anambra, thats an illicit generalization. Do the paternity test, if the babies are yours, I will advise you work on their mother and choose her as a wife. It's obvious you are not coming back to naija in the next 3/4 years, so that girl you think that is descent will not wait for that time before she find someone to grease her middle leg, take it or you leave it. Don't let your case be that of a man who will come. Back after few years looking for the girl to beg her. By that time na another epic movie. Pray to God in person and ask him to reveal your relationship with the to you. You may think that she isn't good for you and God has chosen her for you. Na only God know as he dey do him things ooo |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Kordor: 11:01am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Nwanne dont marry out of pity, since you dont want her. I guess you make her comfortable. Take care of her and kids. |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Nobody: 11:04am On Jul 07, 2019 |
peace0813: Must a guy marry any girl he sleeps with? And yes, some girls are only good for sex/girlfriend/baby mama, nothing more! You expect me to marry a stripper or a prostitute or one ugly, village girl because I had sex with her? Hell no! Even you ma, you don't wanna marry all the guys that have slept with you. (No offense) I don't care about what the OP decides to do with the girl anyway, I really don't. 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by intruder15(m): 11:12am On Jul 07, 2019 |
You didn't say the whole story. She was 19 two years ago right? Meaning she should be 21 now. What of her educational status? Is she through with secondary school? Is she in the university? You said she is not that sharp. You said she is from Onitsha. Did she grow up there? If she did, being dull shouldn't be a part of her character. If she didn't grow up there, where she is from doesn't matter. From your writeup, I think you have judged her based on where she is from. My advice, clear your mind off what u have known about her. Try and observe her willingness to learn. She might grab things slowly but the zeal to learn matters most. She is 21. Meaning her mind should be open to new things, ideas, and she can get better. Always remember that if you are given gold in its natural form, you will willingly throw it away not knowing it's gold. Because the unwanted material is more than the gold. 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by NkemjikaX(m): 11:13am On Jul 07, 2019 |
I really do relate my brother, most times the outcome of a harmless relationship can take away all the joy in life. Should all relationship end up in marriage? Where they not enjoying the whole sex thing? Was it rape?. Pls for crying outloud will it be better he get married to her and ruin their both life as they will never be happy all their life. Pls go ahead and support her all the way and do the paternal test after the kids are born. If they are urs and u still feel u can't marry her pls make proper arrangement for their upkeep. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Obeleagu93(m): 11:13am On Jul 07, 2019 |
[quote author=sirdouglas post=79985322] What if I had given her money to do abortion or helped her with it and travel then few years down the line she couldn't conceive or complications from tje abortion claims her life later. Will it be better?? With the kind of condenmination that I am getting from my fellow guys, now I understand why others always choose the easy way out. I hope you know accepting this pregnancy has cost me a great deal? Financially, emotionally, socially and every f*cking part of my being? Why I don't want to marry from Anambra? I have some personal reasons for that. I didn't just wake up one morning and made that decision. Keep your mouth lashing to youself. I know your life is perfect but allow me to sort mine in peace. I am not begging for money remember. And don't for a minute that you are more civilized than me. Sh*t do happen and you are suppose to understand that. Shit do I know but what about the future of the young lady. Bruv please be more considerate with handling this kind of sensitive matters. Advice on nairaland is not the best. What about your parents. What's there say on it. I think you should talk to them and then know the way forward 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Nobody: 11:17am On Jul 07, 2019 |
Bbbwings: I agree. 2 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Nobody: 11:21am On Jul 07, 2019 |
OP, I really don't care what you do with this girl but let me just say this.... Forget all these people telling you she can change, after all you said about her like not been able to keep a secret etc. Personally, I don't believe people change. I mean, they can adjust to please you or get something (different from pretending), but when push comes to shove, they go back to their former selves. In a relationship, I don't look for the good side of the lady, I look for the bad side. I want to know if the person's worst character is something I can live up with. This is not only about women, it's for human beings in general but I do it more to women cos they are the ones I will end up marrying. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Ravenna: 11:22am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas:Sirdoug, I'm in the same shittt as you. I'ma big boy, who impregnated a young gal of 19 I barely know: tho I wanted a one night thing for 5k, she refused the money and we continued fraking. After a month, she got pregnant! GBAM!! As a Lagos guy, I was like WTF!!! I went wild.. we never dated not to talk of marriage. On a normal day I cannot date a gal like her. So, we tried abortion several times and it didn't work. even in a specialist hospital that was when I realized I was dealing with something greater than I expected. To cut the story short, I went to see her parents and talked to some elders and men of God, they all told me the same thing- ACCEPT it! Few weeks later she gave birth to the most beautiful thing I've ever seen- A baby gal!! I wept bitterly and asked God for forgiveness. Tho the lady is never a gal of my dream: a sec school grad, her fam is shitty and all that but today we are living together. I just gave the wheel to GOD and so far things are falling in line. I'll be going to Europe too and may never come back anytime soon and probably marry another lady there but one thing is certain: That baby is mine and I'ma take full responsibility. Bottom line: GOD is bigger than man. 4 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by pheonixdld2(m): 11:22am On Jul 07, 2019 |
I have been reading your reply to every comment. You were the one that requested for advice and now you cant handle the advice you requested for. Or were you expecting the comments to commend you and pat at the back for what you did? Stop acting like someone without wisdom, at 1st i assumed you had a made a mistake.....but i now know you are a selfish, conceited, manipulative guy without self will. I await your insults or denial. Please be reasonable. Imagine your elder sis was dealt this hand you have dealt this young girl. Just put your elder sis. sirdouglas: 4 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Ashley34: 11:30am On Jul 07, 2019 |
sirdouglas: Not a trusted way to determine the paternity the kids. Twin births runs in women Gene not the men. We releases one or more eggs during ovulation to have one or more babies and not the other way round. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by prinzedy(m): 11:32am On Jul 07, 2019 |
[quote author=SavageSavior post=80015260]She's not my sister so i don't care.[/quote You'll when someone does same to your daughter tomorrow nitwit. 4 Likes |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Streetdreamx(m): 11:39am On Jul 07, 2019 |
daddytime:also tribe is no excuse bro, It's up to you to make your woman that why you want her to be. The other ones you're staring at took another man time and money to look that way, in marketing terms let me say packaging and branding. Don't give up on her, cos the bend in the road is not the end of the road except you make a turn. I'm also a graduate but my wife's not, Lastly always defend your woman never go about telling peeps about her local illiterate lifestyle. 1 Like |
Re: She Is Pregnant With Twins But I Honestly Don't Want To Marry Her. by Streetdreamx(m): 11:41am On Jul 07, 2019 |
daddytime:also tribe is no excuse bro, It's up to you to make your woman the way you want her to be. The other ones you're staring at took another man time and money to look that way, in marketing terms let me say packaging and branding. Don't give up on her, cos the bend in the road is not the end of the road except you make a turn. I'm also a graduate but my wife's not, Lastly always defend your woman never go about telling peeps about her local illiterate lifestyle. |
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