Diza46:
very funny can't stop laughing

Diza46:
very funny can't stop laughing

FERNANDEZISBACK:

You really ran away?you ended up leaving your girl?
Okon is this story even true..if it is then please complete it now..

I'll complete it

FERNANDEZISBACK:
What kind of funny and baseless story is this?
Why did you have to end it so quick..

So what happened next..you married her or you didn't?tell me you did..
Are you that cute?how cute?

I just ran away,cos she fainted; don't worry imma gonna complete it

Kingpee2:
Your pastor is the wizard here ,that’s all I have to say ....

Yes sir, I'm planning an evil against him

Beblessedbaba:
Hi

okay

You can be of help to me now

I went with My girlfriend to her house,cos her Mom invited me ...
We arrived lately in the evening..,I was told to and meet her dad in the sitting room... before I meet her Mom...in the parlour I sat on a soft chair ..... after exchanging of pleasantries...

Her dad brought out a liquor drink...in which I My self liked it ...so he told me to take some glasses but I only took one and excuses him to go and greet Mom...

Her Mom was beautiful,if not not More beautiful than my girlfriend ....

Her Mom was like,ohhh My gosh... My son in-law you are welcome... you are such an handsome young dude...

So after that my girlfriend ask me to come over to her room....

When got in I told that her mom was such a beautiful woman have ever set My eyes on ... she was like what did you mean now....I thought and thought then ;Dthinket,thinker, ;Dthink thought and thinket again....I now say to her I think I have feelings for your Mom.... ... she was like only shit....oya go to the parlour and stay with My daddy..,....

When I got there, I started drinking before I knew it...I was intoxicated

So I move closed to her dad and whisper to his ear .... sire I think I have feelings for your wife.... his father who very drunk shouted marry her ..... before you leave....

Just then My girlfriend dash in and asked me... are you drunk? I was like no but I does.....I stood up and held My hands around her waist and whisper to her ear ...I think I have feelings again for your Mom....we are getting married soon.... My girlfriend fainted .....so I ran away .....

I took My girlfriend to My church...
That's was her first day....

So she was very happy cos the church is very Big, powerful, and also have a very large space for charging of phone's, laptops,torch, radio, rechargeable Lamb etc

It's was at night sha.....we were very late but we still managed to charged our phones...

We went inside and sat down....
There were singing worship song.... everyone was in spirit tho I always go to that side but wasn't do it cos of My girlfriend .... it's wasn't strange for....me

After some minutes My girlfriend was called out.... who's chidimma that's what the pastor said.... she went out.... The pastor was like did you know you could have been married by now with 4kids ?

She said no Daddy... The pastor say's there's a boy let's me say a little brat .... you are calling a boyfriend.... My girlfriend said Yes, The pastor was like that's boy Will sabotage your life .....he wasn't destined for you.... Wake up and find your husband .... received your husband right now .....she said I have received .....he now told her to go back to her sit... ...


You know what? My girlfriend keep mute, she refuses talking to me till we got home and she gets her thing's and left me heartbroken with any word .....she only said you are witch.....I shouted ooooh My beloved girlfriend ....no much talk na pastor causes am.....she left.....

I wept like a baby, I cried My eyes out but nothing came back.....

I moved on sha I was unable to reach out to her cos she blocked me everywhere both on social media .....she told her friends about it .....

People start avoiding me, even My own friends ....they All though I was a witch... this life is not balance sha.....

If you want me to continue say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

Newly here sha....


After she Left me broken,I felt bad And confused...

I had no option than to commit suicide cos My girlfriend was My everything... she was the one that bought a phone for me,pay The rent of house we are living, bought me clothes, and even feeding me ...... The reason why she held this responsibilities ...was cos I promise to get married to her...so All this was amid the future.....

Is not that I had noting doing,or I was idle... it's cos, where I was working.... I was earning 8k per month....

I was unable to cater for anything, the only thing I do, according how both of us planned was to be saving that 8k every month up to like 2years ...... So that she could add some money for me to start up something...... cos she took My atm card to My savings s account... including some cooking utensils

Note: she was a seamstress....!!

She loved me, she care for me like a mother should Care for a son.....I loved her so dearly... never wanting loosing her but now I'm so deeply in pains .... I'm out of ideas, place to run to, soon My rent will be expired.... ohhh My gosh......


Say hiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii make I continue....

They just took me all

I had a female friend, her name was chidera....
Chidera was cute, short,she had dimples and also dark in complexion.....she was madly beautiful ...

One day, she came to my house..
That's was her first time sha..
I welcome her very nicely..
I acted like a humble lad,I mean didn't dare touching her.. All those shitty things was avoid cos it's was her first time visiting me....

I had a whot, So I brought it out;we started playing it......
She came around 4pm,so we started playing the whot around 4:45 if I'm not mistaken... when she started feeling boring and felt abnormal didn't know whether she was afraid of me ..

We have spent like 1 hour and 36 minutes playing whots ....
Lucky for us nepa brought light.. omor see Joy naaaaa....she jumped into My bed and started shouting nepa aaaaa...I felt relief cos she now feel at home .... So I switched on some appliances.....booom before I would check My time it's already 6:45pm.....

I was like bestie are you aware that it's getting dark? She asked where is this? I replied My room...she dropped another one what are we ?? I was quiet for a minute racking My shitty brain for an answer...... My Left brain whisper to me "lad" Tell her she is your wife, right brain Tell her she like a sister to you .....

After awhile, I told her your are My wife nowwww; she was amazed ...she was silent for 50 minutes...she won't similing or laughing anymore....I Left confused ....

Before I would realized, she was weeping, she wepts like peter when he denied jesus .......ohh My gosh what might be wrong now....I was never serious about this wife of a thing,I was just kidding sha....

Note I have a girlfriend,I was in a serious relationship; in which if I do a little mistake we will get accident and die but to frankly speaking I love this girl More than My girlfriend

After 50 minutes of silence she said "bestie I love you with All My hearts promise me you never made me regret My decision.....note she also has a boyfriend, let me say for 4 Year's now (in a serious relationship.... for 4 Year's now)

I didn't say anything I was weak, I stood like a drunkard so hopeless and helpless....

Just then My girlfriend called,and told me it's was over between us; I was like be calming down... what's wrong? before I would say that she has already hung her call.....

That's same moment My bestie called her boyfriend and told him... that she was tired of the relationship, and her boyfriend replied her saying... I wanting saying this ever since let's apart ways please....he hung up ....I was like what's a "coincident"

To cut All the saga Short we are happly married now with three kids ...

Morals... you see that your boyfriend where de get bestie (female friend)
I just de laugh you tell him to desist from am ..,.u hear ?

And you, you see that's your girlfriend where de get male bestie de add you....

Just wanting saying that guy's that have female friends (bestie) always have 85% of love for their bestie than their girlfriendsss.......

They same thing is also applicable to girls their male bestie is being given 85% of love than their main boyfriend......

If there's any typing error.... please correct it urself I no be computer.... before you come act as if say u go school pass people where die.....



Na rubbish I wrote read leave me .....

Not only My destiny....they locked everything ...

Never be in a relationship with a girl/lady/Mom/sugar Mom and what ever....

Whose father/daddy/papa/baba....



Is a NATIVE DOCTOR ...cos I'm just Lost right now.....


Just wait let's me be out of this bottle of Coke I will explain to you.....

So boring it's not even funny self :-

I have worked hard,harder and hardest but couldn't make it...

I lied to Myself that I will buy a benz this year but look at me now,,, I can't even walk with My legs not to talk of spending money on My girlfriend cos I'm a mugu money spender...

Cos of this My girlfriend left me for sugar daddy but we are still in connecting with each other...

She told me it is over between us 8 months...ago.. .

I felt so worried...I mean I went astray cos she Left me not only hearts broken but financially broken...

I vowed to commit suicide but guess what I committed The suicide and I'm Dead right away... posting here from the other world....

Thanks for wasting your time to read this... na weed I just smoke finish... So I talk say make i Post my story small....

Exactly... but if you have laughed or smile your mad...

But you have wasted a bit of time right??

That's why I said it's aren't funny

70 year's old man

You can't Buy a gown if you don't have a balcony,where will you stand??

You give someone a lift at night and. You hear them say "how much does this ghost pay you"

The pain of washing your face without beards is like you washing a plate

Never say I love you bby to me, just tell me that you will die when I die

How much is iphone 13 that's I can't afford if not that My five thousand naira was stolen by My landlord

When I'm married giving me sex is sure anytime, anywhere even when you are in church.. I will just come to you and whisper to your ear bby ... I'm Hot let's do it here before I rape My pastor's wife

If you are tired in this life, just rest get married begot kids then transfer the suffering spirit to them tell them life's still continue

I wanting getting married soon but since russians have invaded ukraine ....I cancelled the marriage cos I wanted to get married to Nigerianrussians

She was like tell about yourself...
I=okay My name is okon,I walked at night,I love chubby,slim,fat and short bae.....is we cleared...she said I broke up her

Abeg de find food chop before you comot for house,i Don de too unfortunately this.... day's imagine carrying unconscious people any where I go

Baby I love with All My hearts, you are My lungs, My liver, blood, My everything...now e don reach to give me breast make I suck, you talk say your breasts milk Don finish,,turn your breasts jare I go bite am commot My milk

I'm newly here ooo

See don't try laughing or smiling cos none funny

Please some one should help me out of this mess..

I bought a phone,I won't mention the brand here...

I bought it last year december this month I think should make it 4 months plus....

It's developed some kinda of issue that I regret ever buying it

So right now the phone has a spinal cord and kindey problem..... someone should me help out thank you

I went to school late one day, cos I was I slept lately last night.. (forget how I'm writing this shit so shitty) just mind your business)

Never mind what I did that's make me slept So late last night just mind your business okay ....

This country is so hard before I invade your life just like how russians invaded ukraine..

my name is "ifnoting"

I got to the back of my classroom and I pee through the window...

Behold and behold My English teacher was there ?

Immediately I look back again I jam My headmaster......

I was like good morning Sir ;Dmorning Sir ... without him saying anything

He asked me if I just came nd I said to him no caming noun just before we came...

Immediately My Head master struck me with a Big stick on My Head ....I scream his name baba timothy why naaaa .

I was pushed to My class, immediately I got ...in...

My english teacher was shocked cos he haven't seen me before in his class but I knew him....

My teacher was like who are you?
Me: I'm a student primary one c,

My name is ifnoting or you can call me Timothy.. The teacher scream ... Timothy eeeee ......

I said yo dude,u can say that again

Thank you for wasting your time reading this rubbish.. .... I so much appreciate, hope is funny ahb you want to hear peoples story Shea.... better mind your business

Heyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy go down you,
...... Don't mine me the full gist is down


























Scommon gettat where are you going to

Go down again I'm sorry about that scommon I have said, you know you must

Go down please ssssssss you will enjoy this gist
Don't trust me
















































Hey stoppppppp!!! go back to where you came ..... from
I'm newly here hope My madness is welcome

[color=#990000][/color] there's this gurl,I knew then in highschool;tho we were not friends I mean like being closed..
She always
Have the habits of invading My school bag just like russians invading ukraine, when I'm not around....we were in primary 6 then...
She was cute,short and dark in complexity than I
So when we were about writing our final exams...
on that's fate day,I went to without having My breakfast cos of exams tension..I had no appetite for food so I went there with no money...

I got to the exams center early
I was so astonish cos I saw no candidate there
So a voice in My Head spoke to me Saying hey boy walk around this building you will see your fellow candidate reading somewhere
Immediately I heard that voice, I felt happy but wasn't aware if my head was doing the right thing
I began moving from One point to another...
I came to a point where I was terrify, cos a strange noise was coming out from somewhere...

I was a little bit in shocked, cos it's was obvious that I will not hear any sound or humans voices in this particular arena...

I began to tiptoe towards where the sound was coming from, ...fear got me...

As I was going slowly,I Heard a cracked but wasn't sure where it's came from I stopped...

I stood still for 4 minutes, suddenly to me I felt a Cold hand's around My eye's from my back...

Oh My "gosh" I shouted but the person says I should guess who exactly she was

I felt relief cos I Heard a voice of a girl so soft that I was praying for this kinda thing to last forev ;Der...I mean her hands were soft like agege bread..

Immediately those thoughts ran through My mind and evacuate ...

She freed My eye's behold it's was the girl that used to invade my school bag...

I didn't say a word cos I was shy,she held me with her hands...

Without wasting much time, she asked me a question that almost made me to forget what I read at home... daniel, have you ever been in love.. have you ever wondered why I always invade your school bag just like russians invading ukraine ??

I was speechless for 5 minutes, before I would realized she has kissed innocent me

To be continued


I felt her warm lips on My wet lips ....I was not here on earth any more cos that's was My first time going to heaven .... didn't know a kiss can make me breath like a chicken....we continue this for a period 8 to 18 minutes....

Before I would realized I was on ground but didn't know how it's happens

A voice came to me saying son of Man today was your final exams.....get you and leave...

Immediately The voice was gone she held My hand and I stood up.....

Guess what?? I started crying like a baby I didn't even know why I was crying

She speaks to My ear, "daniel" I Love you...stop crying so that.. you won't make me join you and be crying.....

She hugged me so tight,but she older me

She tease me with sweet words, but I was still crying before I Know she join me in the crying section



To be continued