curiousmind11:


Babe, I hope you will be patient read this.

I am in your shoe, only difference is that I am the man.

But I can boldly tell you that no respect or worshiping of your husband can erase the disgrace of sending your nudes to a guy via sexting or video call. A guy who has any intimate picture or video of you will blackmail you soon. As others have stated, you have all to lose.

The worse form of cheating is emotional cheating. If you must cheat, do it without exchange of digital images. And do it with someone who has something at stake to protect like a reputation.

Don't shop for a fuckmate on social media. You will live to regret!

cococandy:
You alone talking to him is not enough.
You need serious counseling.

Your emotional needs are valid. Don’t be ashamed about needing that. But what Mr online guy is providing is just a mirage. You don’t love him. That’s a fact. If you eventually meet him, you might end up disappointed. Do you even think that if he knows your full story, he will like you the same?

You and your husband sure do need help to get back on track. You can’t do it by yourselves.

we can give you all the advice that sounds good on paper here but will those really help you?
E.g
1) Pray.
2) Be okay with the situation at least he’s providing.
3) Talk to him (again)
4) Focus on yourself (only God knows what that means)

All these advice point to the same thing. Be happy in your misery and leave things be.
For something like a marriage to work, the two people in it need to be equally invested in making it work.

So either your husband suddenly has an epiphany and realizes that he needs to make more effort or you initiate a move that will strongly show him he needs to make more effort. Sometimes words do not penetrate.

Cut Mr online guy loose. At least you’re sure you’re doing something wrong. You can’t even accuse your husband of doing the same. So now is the time to make it work.

Thanks sis, thanks!

wunmi590:


Just let him be for now, until you finish your studies, I am sure he will change, believe me, no other man can make you happy aside your own man, the man who left all woman to be with you and also discharge his responsibilities as it should.

And when next you see, wake him up in the middle of the night, cry and talk to him, pour out all your mind, I am sure he will change for good.

Wish you success

bukatyne:


If her husband was never 'sweet', she probably have ignored as he was her choice.

He was and has now become cold.

Like they say: Don't start what you cannot finish.

CAPTIVATOR:


Talk to your husband, What you demand is right ... Even the bible says ' Husbands continue loving your wife ' , There is a reason for the bolded.

crackhaus:

Then this is what you ladies should be helping her develop - satisfaction and nothing else. Encouraging her desires will only validate her feelings for the Telegram guy, which is a very good idea if the end goal is to ensure she cheats on her husband.
My dear Ujujoan2 is even telling her to threaten the husband...husband oo, not boyfriend. Nothing I no go read for family section.

I'm sure even after the man starts providing this emotional whatnot, the next request will be for him to start helping with the house chores, because some women have convinced themselves they are Princesses with no Kingdom.

I can't mehn...

Woman did not kill my grandfathers and woman has not killed my father, it is impossible for a woman to kill me.

yettymuse:
Its alright then, I hope you don’t let your emotions get the better of you! When reality sets in, Bills is major! By the way, why do you wanna give your coochie to a brokeass? I bet Mr Telegram can’t pay shishi! Women! Na we confuse pass!! you’ll be fine girl... Get yourself some intimacy gadgets, masturbate and watch porn! Cheers!

bukatyne:


@bold

You can't love your husband and love Mr. Telegraph.

He has been sweet before, he can be sweet again.

Except you tell me that when you go with Mr. Telegraph and he is no longer sweet due to life's issues, you would jump to Mr. What'sapp.

yettymuse:
you don’t bring in MONEY but your hormones are raging to cheat! How about you go use your constructive advice and prayers to foot your own damn bills!..
C’mon cover your face abeg! You fall hand! I don’t blame men that don’t put all their resources on a woman. Na your type dey give women bad name! You’re already sexchatting.. very soon you go off pant! Odiegwu!..Mtcheew
“I love my husband and adore him” yen yen yen!!!.. Na you get yourself, no stress us abeg!

zeestone99:


Have you asked yourself what he needs, you think you are the only one that needs something. Have you asked yourself the challenges and pains he's facing and soaking up inside him, what have you done for him apart from sex and requesting for money. You can't change who you are, just follow the new guy if that's what you want. It's only fair your husband knows the real you. Don't pretend. My 2 kobo.

UjuJoan2:


There's nothing wrong in needing and wanting all these things. But the truth is that it doesn't even matter. You are emotionally disconnected from your husband, and that's the only problem I see here . .. maybe you just have too many expectations from him, without accepting the fact that he is just not that kind of person.

The distance is not helping too . . . being apart has a way of playing on people's minds.

I know you think you love this other guy, but you don't. If you sleep with him the only thing you will feel is regret and shame. Don't even go there.

Does your husband know there's a high possibility of him losing you to another man? Or does he think you are now 'second-hand' and can no longer attract attention from other men? I'm asking because I wonder why he's not even making an effort.

You have an itch that needs to be scratched. You need to let him know that if he doesn't, someone else will . . .

keeki:
OP you need to stop communicating with the other man.i am sure this is how your relationship was with your husband before u married him except you were forced to marry him.there is a way that seemeth right to a man but the end of it is destruction.you said your husband is a good man.talk to him.it takes effort to make marriage work.if you get too deep with this man,and eventually sleep with him,you would see that it was all lust and not love.

bukatyne:


What do you think changed? Can you trace where the coolness began?

And how hectic is your school schedule that you can't visit more often or visit unannounced?

Unfortunately, you both have become used to been married and living single.

Forget Telegraph Bobo, he might even be your husband. Afterall, you said he contacted you.

Go home, do a heart to heart review with your husband. What can you do better? What can he do better? What does he like about you? What do you like about him?

Look at it this way: the telegraph guy is seeing the fresh babe your husband has invested love and resources in. He wants to reap where he did not sow.

Go back to the sower and tell him that he needs to keep maintaining his garden so it does not wither.

Goodluck.

wunmi590:


Your attitude really got me to the bone, I really feel for the man who has been trying all his best to make you a better woman, despite the fact that not all men can allow the privilege of what he has given to you, providing your basic needs, and even allowed you to go to school while you are married in another state.

My advice, please and please cut off from that guy, and concentrate on your studies, making your husband proud by graduating with a good grade should be on your mind now, what you looking for after 2kids, when you are still schooling.

Your husband loves you, I guess the main reason he changed is because he wants to give you more space to read and graduate top of your class without having to regret why you went to school.

After your school and he still behave like that, then you can come on nairaland and ask what you need to do more to make him attend to you more.

You are already exposing yourself and endangering yourself by sexxx chating with another person.

Please desist from that and face your book...

Vyolet:
If you have sex with lover boy and you get caught, you have everything to lose while he has nothing to lose.
Your way older husband will still get another younger woman to marry and if you are unlucky, you won't have access to your kids.
Use your head girl, have some patience, wait till you graduate from school, start living with your husband and build a close relationship, you will bring out the baby boy in him and you will be surprised at how much of a lover boy he can be.

KanwuliaExtra:
You are going through a test or phase every married man or woman will definitely go through.

Rule #1. Never date a single person if you are married. You are stepping beneath your rank and file.

You need to stop that crap right there and now. He has nothing to lose and you have EVERYTHING TO LOSE.

It is not love but LUST.

You are playing a dangerous game and you are a novice at it. Nothing good can come out of this 'crush' you have on this 'boy toy'.
He has nothing to offer.
Abeg go find beta 'frog' chop!
If your marriage crashes. . . .it would be shameful to point in the direction of a 'RIFF RAFF' as the cause!
Please, play the game of MARITAL CHAMPIONS WHO CAN CHOP AND STILL KEEP THEIR MARRIAGES!
First, you must GROW UP! You need to think with the head above your waist.

zeestone99:
Most Women are just selfish... See how all this man's investment goes down the drain. When they get one they crave for another,if you don't have they go elsewhere, Forgeting all your sacrifices.

Xsem:
You are very useless.
A man is out there toiling and hustling to make ends meet for the family, satisfying all aspects of your life and yet you can't find something meaningful to focus on rather you go about cheating on him on the guise of him handicapping you emotionally. Just negodu a married woman

dawnomike:
I understand what you're going through... But, please and please for the sake of your kids, do the right thing.

IceeSeth:
There's an underlying problem somewhere that's causing what you're seeing now. And maybe something else is taking his attention away.

I think you should start by telling him about your feelings and how it has been affecting you.

Getting attention from another person can only divide you both further and further till it turns to divorce.

Approach your husband for a start!

crackhaus:
Another one

So a man who provides more than the basic needs and is a great father suddenly doesn't love you because he does not say 'I love you back' during sex.

Aunty, just say you want to fvck this Telegram guy and you're looking for excuses. Is it not who will reply your 'I love you' during sex that you're looking for?
Look no further - it's that Telegram guy, I know him very well. I've heard he likes to shout 'I love you' during sex like a billy goat.
Okay thanks, I need the insult, maybe it will help get me right on track.
Mumu