How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. - Family (4)

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How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. - Family (4) - Nairaland

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Nigerian Lady Seeks Advice On How To Stop Loving Her Husband / How Can One Handle "Ur Wife Sleeps With Other Man(men) Messages? / I Always See This Inside My Room Even Though It's Tiled, How Do I Stop It? (2) (3) (4)

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Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Gloriousheart(f): 9:34am On Dec 10, 2019

Don't worry. When your husband finds out and if it unfortunately leads to the breakdown of your home, your brain will reset itself. You better advise yourself, finish your program and return to work on your home. Do you know if your husband feels the same distant way you feel but just trying to hold it together. Long distance marriage is not easy.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Gloriousheart(f): 9:43am On Dec 10, 2019

wittyt98:
whatever u do, bear in mind that the only reason Mr telegram has the time for you and your emotions is cus he wants to get a taste of your vagina. he has nothing to offer except those sweet words and his penis

Don't let your emotions decide for you, let your brain do its work. your brain doing its work is part of the reason u posted this here cus I'm sure your conscience is disturbing you. for the sake of your kids, marriage avoid Mr telegram before u become dickmatized

The mr telegram that doesn't even know she is married. He may also be a responsible man who wouldn't date her if he knew her status.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by IceeSeth: 9:53am On Dec 10, 2019

Olannajewel:
thank you, I have cried, screamed, talked, even joked about it,but he doesn't want to understand, he used to be very sweet and passionate about us.

Then something has turned him. That's the simple truth which you need to find out. People don't just change over night. But you must not be entangled with another person while you try to fix this issue.

While you continue doing your best to fix things, don't neglect the place of prayers in your marriage. Marriage is a covenant to become one , lay claim on that covenant (oneness) in prayers.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 10:51am On Dec 10, 2019

Na wa o! I wonder how someone will get married and still be looking for another love outside!

Work out your marriage, endure it, enjoy it, manage it, pray it out, stop looking at another man whom the devil might use to destroy your marriage. All these emotions here and there, marriage is beyond that! Shebi he's providing for you and your kid that's why you are still looking for emotions here and there, to say he doesn't do that you'll have understand that marriage no be beans.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 10:58am On Dec 10, 2019

UjuJoan2:

I still maintain its not a game. But we'll agree to disagree on this.

Bottom line is that people should not take advantage of a marriage to treat their spouses badly, just because they think he or she cannot do anything about it. This poster's husband is not even making an effort.

I know you think her concerns are not valid, maybe even irresponsible. But it's what she wants and it's very real to her.

Marriage should not be an excuse for people to be docile in meeting their spouses needs. Emotionally and otherwise.

Fairly wrong assessment of what I think.

Of course her concerns her valid, I doubt I said or implied anything to the contrary - sometimes you should try reading my comments without the idea of 'crackhaus' behind it. cheesy

You got the second bit right though - she is VERY IRRESPONSIBLE for using that excuse to validate her actions, surely if you read my comments more objectively you would see this has been my grouse.

Lol @ still not wanting to call it a game. grin

Years of psychological studies and thousands of books will disagree with you.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 11:04am On Dec 10, 2019

KingTom:

Lashing

I will even use koboko covered with dry pepper if she met me in person and told me that rubbish.

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 11:06am On Dec 10, 2019

bukatyne:

As the babe complained na, husbandman should pick up from where he left off

And if he can't?

She should sleep with another man to scratch the itch.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Oyiboman69: 11:28am On Dec 10, 2019

CAPSLOCKED:

SPARE US THIS INTRODUCTION, NOBODY CARES!

I DO NOT SUPPORT THIS BUT, IF YOU EVENTUALLY CHEAT, I WILL NOT BLAME YOU.

MEN NEED TO LEARN THAT SOMETIMES, MONEY AND PROVISIONS IS NOT ENOUGH.
IF YOU CAN'T COMMUNICATE WITH YOUR PARTNER, SPEND TIME AND LISTEN TO HER, YOU'RE ONLY WASTING YOUR TIME.

PLEASE TELL MR. TELEGRAM TO USE PROTECTION JUST IN CASE.

na wa for some of unaooo!

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Oyiboman69: 11:32am On Dec 10, 2019

That's why its very dangerous to send a woman to school, even before or after marriage undecided

1 Like

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Heja: 11:59am On Dec 10, 2019

GiantParrot:
This is a really good example of why many decent young men are going their own way. They know that most women are incredibly selfish and inconsiderate....there's no amount of privilege you can give these women that will keep them satisfied. They will always find something to accuse the man of not doing enough, completely oblivious to the painful sacrifices he makes to provide sustenance for his family.. There is no scarcity of indecent men who are ready to give these self-centered women that thing they miss, and the women have little personal regards for morals and principles. Their only deterrent from shameful behaviour is the fear of getting caught. And they will cold-heartedly resort to paternity fraud when they get pregnant from fulfilling selfish desires.

Responsibility and fidelity come with sacrifices, which can barely happen where self-centeredness rules. Good luck to those who choose marriage. Hope their minds are well prepared for the statistically likely betrayals that come with it.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by emmaodet: 1:46pm On Dec 10, 2019

GiantParrot:
This is a really good example of why many decent young men are going their own way. They know that most women are incredibly selfish and inconsiderate....there's no amount of privilege you can give these women that will keep them satisfied. They will always find something to accuse the man of not doing enough, completely oblivious to the painful sacrifices he makes to provide sustenance for his family.. There is no scarcity of indecent men who are ready to give these self-centered women that thing they miss, and the women have little personal regards for morals and principles. Their only deterrent from shameful behaviour is the fear of getting caught. And they will cold-heartedly resort to paternity fraud when they get pregnant from fulfilling selfish desires.

Responsibility and fidelity come with sacrifices, which can barely happen where self-centeredness rules. Good luck to those who choose marriage. Hope their minds are well prepared for the statistically likely betrayals that come with it.

Bro you have said it all.
Most women are very selfish and self-centered. It is all about them, them and them.
Funny enough, if the husband free her to go meet the other man, after sometime and reality sets in that life is not all about sex and you need to compromise, she starts hating the new man.
Tbh, been single and a bachelor is looking more better and better nowadays than marriage.
Let everybody go and hustle and pay their own bills and let's see if she will even been thinking of sex after she don go work from 7-5pm for a 30-70k job. She will get a brain reset.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 2:42pm On Dec 10, 2019

Olannajewel:
Please pardon my very long post. I also had to open another account so as to post this.
I am in my mid 20s been married for 5years with two kids.
Have been in a long distance marriage since I got married due to the fact that I have been running a degree programme which will come to an end by next year.
So,I practically see my husband when we're on holidays or during strike. But we talk every time, I'm in the east schooling and he's in the south. My husband provides more than the basic needs,he's a great husband and a good father.
I know I sound selfish, but he doesn't satisfy my emotional needs,and he agrees to it.. whenever we call it's just about the kids and my school, we don't talk personal stuffs, he's not passionate, he finds it difficult saying "I love you " unlike before. He doesn't indulge me when I say it also... when I try to sex chat with him, he shifts it away. Whenever we're on holidays and am home, he doesn't also give me time, his work is not flexible but the little opportunity he gets he would rather go out.
No woman calls him in my present, but there's been incidents that has prompted me doubt his fidelity. After I gave birth in March,I went back to school because the strike was called of.i became depressed, I will talk with my husband yet I felt he was emotionally distance from me, sometimes during argument he would flay up and rain abuses on me... during love making with my husband, he cant even keep an eye contact or reply the "I love you " I say to him during sex. Ps:my husband is in his mid 30s.
He doesn't notice any effort I make as a young wife to keep the spark in our marriage. In July,guy chat me up from a group on telegram.. I haven't seen this guy, but I would have seen him if he's close.we have been talking every day for 5months,chatting, sexchating, video calls,he tells me everything a woman wants to hear. He doesn't know am married. I'm in too deep, how do I stop loving him, I love my husband too,but he's not making any effort towards romance in our marriage.. please I need advice, insult, anything that can get me back on track. I know am cheating emotionally on my husband, but talking with this other man has kept me sane amidst all the challenges I have. How do I stop this, cause recently I noticed I cant stand conversation with my husband, not that we discuss anything that makes me feel like a woman. Please help!!

young woman,instead of you to work on your marriage, you have resulted to cheating already, don't be deceived by thinking you ain't cheating yet because you've not practicalize your lustful cravings, you are already cheating with the dirty stuff you are doing with Mr Telegram,and how do you feel afterwards?even if you can't respect your husband and parents, what of those kids of yours,please respect them.Another angle is that you are selfish and weak,have you thought about your husband who could be going through so many things you know nothing about and he might have decided to keep you away from it so as not to affect your schooling.Why don't you concentrate on your academics and kids and still flow with your husband pending on when you round up so you can go home to fix him and your marriage,instead you jump on social media looking for ways to satisfy your cravings. If you truly love your husband and kids as you have claimed, then pick up your phone and tell Mr telegram that you are sorry for leading him on,tell him you are a married woman and shouldn't be caught doing such dirty stuff,apologise to him and follow up by deleting him on all social media and every other available means but if you find it hard to do this,just know it won't be long before moaning under his arms,then the guilt comes afterwards. Please respect your marriage, parents,kids and above all respect God.

1 Like

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 2:51pm On Dec 10, 2019

Olannajewel:
and its driving me crazy.. I just want to hear "i love you" from him. I just want us to laugh as before.
I have searched myself and I have asked him, I haven't offended him... we have been too serious for a long time. Very serious, its always about the kids, what about us... my heart is aching, I actually indulged my telegram friend through the chat because i found out my husband went for a massage without telling me (guess it was more than a massage) what's there not to tell me, clears watsapp chat, and was emotionally involved with a lady, he's reason being that he was depressed..I feel I have lost my sweetheart, he used to tell me everything, we used to be so cool,spontaneous and lively!

look at the way you described how your husband used to be so cool,spontaneous and lively, so Mr Telegram is the best solution you can come up with now that he's going through a phase abi

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by bukatyne(f): 5:52pm On Dec 10, 2019

crackhaus:

And if he can't?

She should sleep with another man to scratch the itch.

Why can't he? Or was he pretending before?

Is there something stopping him? If yes, he should discuss it while she helps him back in track.

I don't understand how sleeping or dating Telegraph bobo solves her problem with her husband's aloofness.

3 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 6:49pm On Dec 10, 2019

She's already gone... no need

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by TheArchangel(f): 8:01pm On Dec 10, 2019

This post is wrangling guys nerves grin

The notion that women wants � money and money... grin

.is so wrong but they won't believe it.

@op, your husband married you at a very young age and in your mid 20's, your raging hormones needs to be satiated and you are also yearning to sow your wild oats. grin

.
Most of your girlfriends are unmarried and enjoying romantic relationships with their boyfriends but yours ain't the same. A good number of women who married young passed through what you are passing through now and it is not funny at all. Most of this women ends up being cynical and bitter when they hear or see people in love.The regular Nigerian hypocrites will condemn you as always for speaking out.

There is another thread where a woman is yearning for sex from her husband...her own husband and this same hypocrites were asking her if sex is food. They never hesitates to tell the man to look outside for pleasures if reverse is the case.
What am I saying? I'd say, you should bury yourself in something worthwhile to numb the feelings till you graduate. Note that, I won't suggest continued endurance to avoid luring yourself into depression. Talk, rave, and rant. Do not beg for attention. Demand for it. Let people hear you and ask him what the problem is.

Personally, I hate cheating because it often decreases blackmailing and bargaining power but if that's your vestige and solace, thread with caution.

Your happiness is paramount!!

4 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Olannajewel: 8:25pm On Dec 10, 2019

Our society have very dysfunctional and frustrated people, its surprising that an adult will read a detailed story and still turn it upside down.
I don't want to start mentioning or replying anyone because I alone know what I have gone through and still going through.
I dont,I have not, and will not cheat on my husband.
My quest for emotional satisfaction made me start an obvious needless relationship but it kept me sane this long.
I do not have any sexual problems with my husband, he does it good.
My problem is that I AM NOT SATISFIED EMOTIONALLY, I CRAVE FOR A FRIEND IN MY HUSBAND. ITS A MARRIAGE AND NOT A JOB INTERVIEW, OVERTIME WE HAVE BECOME TOO SERIOUS, I WANT MY SWEETHEART BACK!
My emotional needs are very important to me because of my life orientation . My husband did not send me to school because I have never been to school, he clearly agreed to sponsor my second degree
(Which my father would have still done if I wasn't married)(he does anyways).
My husband promised me that nothing would change, which of course is impossible, but he's change breaks my heart.
I am not shameful of the fact that I want to be emotionally and romantically satisfied.
I have one life and I intend to live it to the fullest, which ofcourse does not include having carnal knowledge of another man.
This platform is to help people like me who need to hear other people's experiences and learn from it. But I guess we are too angry in this country and it makes us unreasonable, insensitive ,judgemental and grossly hypocritical!.
I have already gotten the good advice and I appreciate it
The insults helped me too,
Thank you all.

9 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 10:58pm On Dec 10, 2019

crackhaus:
Another one

So a man who provides more than the basic needs and is a great father suddenly doesn't love you because he does not say 'I love you back' during sex.

Aunty, just say you want to fvck this Telegram guy and you're looking for excuses. Is it not who will reply your 'I love you' during sex that you're looking for?
Look no further - it's that Telegram guy, I know him very well. I've heard he likes to shout 'I love you' during sex like a billy goat.

Mumu

Another one.

You men will always support one another. Does your advice even make any sense to you? Did you see where she's being emotionally neglected by her husband? The quicker you know that, that simple 'I love you' penetrates deep into a woman's heart, the better for you. You men should be vulnerable for once. Acting tough doesn't mean you're masculine.

Or you think it's always about money and surpassing the basic needs? Emotional needs are meant to be met too.

I hereby render your advice misogynistic.

5 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:09pm On Dec 10, 2019

yettymuse:
you don’t bring in MONEY but your hormones are raging to cheat! How about you go use your constructive advice and prayers to foot your own damn bills!..
C’mon cover your face abeg! You fall hand! I don’t blame men that don’t put all their resources on a woman. Na your type dey give women bad name! You’re already sexchatting.. very soon you go off pant! Odiegwu!..Mtcheew
“I love my husband and adore him” yen yen yen!!!.. Na you get yourself, no stress us abeg!

Whether or not she's bringing in money doesn't validate her emotional needs not being met. She's human too. Let's stop being hypocritical. Put yourself in her shoes. What would you do if you were her? Stop acting self righteous.

5 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:19pm On Dec 10, 2019

yettymuse:
Its alright then, I hope you don’t let your emotions get the better of you! When reality sets in, Bills is major! By the way, why do you wanna give your coochie to a brokeass? I bet Mr Telegram can’t pay shishi! Women! Na we confuse pass!! you’ll be fine girl... Get yourself some intimacy gadgets, masturbate and watch porn! Cheers!

To you, bills is major. The moment your sexual needs are being paid for, you become a prostitute henceforth. Is it about money? Brokeass or not, she's starving emotionally and needs help. Intimacy gadgets cannot be compared to the warmth and touch your man will give.

Your advice is very inconsequential.

6 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 11:22pm On Dec 10, 2019

UyaiIncomparabl:

To you, bills is major. The moment your sexual needs are being paid for, you become a prostitute henceforth. Is it about money? Brokeass or not, she's starving emotionally and needs help. Intimacy gadgets cannot be compared to the warmth and touch your man will give.

Your advice is very inconsequential.

Hanty, you really get my time this night, you’ll be fine dear kiss

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:26pm On Dec 10, 2019

Olannajewel:
I am satisfied, I just want a little compassion, and romance.. nothing more!

You're not asking for too much. I only hope your self centred husband realises this.

6 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UyaiIncomparabl(f): 11:29pm On Dec 10, 2019

Tocynone:
.
You actually nailed it.
I don't know you but God bless you

He nailed nothing. Stop lying to him.

7 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 7:58am On Dec 11, 2019

UyaiIncomparabl:

~~He nailed nothing. Stop lying to him.~~

UyaiIncomparabl:

[s]Another one.

You men will always support one another. Does your advice even make any sense to you? Did you see where she's being emotionally neglected by her husband? The quicker you know that, that simple 'I love you' penetrates deep into a woman's heart, the better for you. You men should be vulnerable for once. Acting tough doesn't mean you're masculine.

Or you think it's always about money and surpassing the basic needs? Emotional needs are meant to be met too.

I hereby render your advice misogynistic.[/s]

SHUT YOUR TRAP!

What in Christopher Columbus compass is my business with knowing that a simple 'I love you' can penetrate deep into a woman's heart, so much so that it will now be better for me because I know it? Better how? cheesy

I resemble who dey live life based off women's approval?

Come, no let me tear you slap wey dey make cow fall.

Yen yen yen yen yen....I love you, I love you. grin

You that is busy looking for a rich Igbo man to marry, why did you not include that he must be telling you 'I love you' in addition to his money?

Nonsense & confusion.

4 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by UjuJoan2: 8:00am On Dec 11, 2019

crackhaus:

SHUT YOUR TRAP!

What in Christopher Columbus compass is my business with knowing that a simple 'I love you' can penetrate deep into a woman's heart, so much so that it will now be better for me because I know it? Better how?
I resemble who dey live life based off women's approval?

Come, no let me tear you slap wey dey make cow fall.

Yen yen yen yen yen....I love you, I love you.
You that is busy looking for a rich Igbo man to marry, why did you not include that he must be telling you 'I love you' in addition to his money?

Nonsense & confusion.

This one pain you well well.

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 8:14am On Dec 11, 2019

bukatyne:

Why can't he? Or was he pretending before?

Is there something stopping him? If yes, he should discuss it while she helps him back in track.

I don't understand how sleeping or dating Telegraph bobo solves her problem with her husband's aloofness.

You're telling me? cheesy

I simply echoed the opinion of the irresponsible women on the thread.

You should be telling this to your sisters here advising the OP to make sure she cheats with someone who also has something to lose.
This is the supposedly GOOD advise when compared to mine, because emotions matter... lmao cheesy

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by crackhaus: 8:21am On Dec 11, 2019

UjuJoan2:

This one pain you well well.

Kai...

She actually told me that 'I love you' penetrates deep into a woman's heart and it's better for me if I know it.
Damn, that stvpid line burst my head grin

Of all the very important things to be known in life, it's now what will penetrate a woman's heart that any sensible person should be concerned with.

2 Likes

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Firstcitizen: 8:46am On Dec 11, 2019

TheArchangel:
This post is wrangling guys nerves
The notion that women wants � money and money... .is so wrong but they won't believe it.

@op, your husband married you at a very young age and in your mid 20's, your raging hormones needs to be satiated and you are also yearning to sow your wild oats. .
Most of your girlfriends are unmarried and enjoying romantic relationships with their boyfriends but yours ain't the same. A good number of women who married young passed through what you are passing through now and it is not funny at all. Most of this women ends up being cynical and bitter when they hear or see people in love.The regular Nigerian hypocrites will condemn you as always for speaking out.

There is another thread where a woman is yearning for sex from her husband...her own husband and this same hypocrites were asking her if sex is food. They never hesitates to tell the man to look outside for pleasures if reverse is the case.
What am I saying? I'd say, you should bury yourself in something worthwhile to numb the feelings till you graduate. Note that, I won't suggest continued endurance to avoid luring yourself into depression. Talk, rave, and rant. Do not beg for attention. Demand for it. Let people hear you and ask him what the problem is.

Personally, I hate cheating because it often decreases blackmailing and bargaining power but if that's your vestige and solace, thread with caution.

Your happiness is paramount!!

Cheating does not have to be physical. This is a case of emotional cheating.

Be deficient in meeting material needs,she finds a way to cheat because of that. Be on the surplus side materially, she cheats because of sex. Give too much of sex, you want to kill her....Poor sex...hmm you just dug your grave. Be overly romantic, you are weak and she seeks a guy with bit of danger.These species dem....Wonder what makes them happy

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Nobody: 8:48am On Dec 11, 2019

Olannajewel:
Our society have very dysfunctional and frustrated people, its surprising that an adult will read a detailed story and still turn it upside down.
I don't want to start mentioning or replying anyone because I alone know what I have gone through and still going through.
I dont,I have not, and will not cheat on my husband.
My quest for emotional satisfaction made me start an obvious needless relationship but it kept me sane this long.
I do not have any sexual problems with my husband, he does it good.
My problem is that I AM NOT SATISFIED EMOTIONALLY, I CRAVE FOR A FRIEND IN MY HUSBAND. ITS A MARRIAGE AND NOT A JOB INTERVIEW, OVERTIME WE HAVE BECOME TOO SERIOUS, I WANT MY SWEETHEART BACK!
My emotional needs are very important to me because of my life orientation . My husband did not send me to school because I have never been to school, he clearly agreed to sponsor my second degree
(Which my father would have still done if I wasn't married)(he does anyways).
My husband promised me that nothing would change, which of course is impossible, but he's change breaks my heart.
I am not shameful of the fact that I want to be emotionally and romantically satisfied.
I have one life and I intend to live it to the fullest, which ofcourse does not include having carnal knowledge of another man.
This platform is to help people like me who need to hear other people's experiences and learn from it. But I guess we are too angry in this country and it makes us unreasonable, insensitive ,judgemental and grossly hypocritical!.
I have already gotten the good advice and I appreciate it
The insults helped me too,
Thank you all.

oya calm down Mrs. Discard that Mr telegram as fast as possible by telling him about your marital status,tell him you regret everything you had with him and end it there,be strict with your decisions, you are young and supposed to be strong,so find ways of fixing your marriage and find out the trap your husband has landed himself in and help him out of it,you will be glad you didn't towed the wrong path after you got him fully back.May God be with you.

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by lilmax(m): 10:41am On Dec 11, 2019

Lol small children love

This op dey behave like those babes in school and their boyfriends at work in another state grin

They be like "my boyfriend didn't call me for two days, so I need attention, that's why I cheated" cheesy

E get wetin person dey big pass abeg

Na the husband self I pity, marriage don cast

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by Akeem1759(m): 11:16am On Dec 11, 2019

Only if this young women knows how difficult it is to hustle and make sure every bill is fixed in this Country. The psychological trauma when you are working hard to make sure your family has a good life, most especially to impress your wife and satisfy her is crazy. I no wan Vex talk to u anyhow abeg..

Re: How Can I Stop Loving This Other Man. by bukatyne(f): 11:55am On Dec 11, 2019

crackhaus:

Kai...

She actually told me that 'I love you' penetrates deep into a woman's heart and it's better for me if I know it.
Damn, that stvpid line burst my head

Of all the very important things to be known in life, it's now what will penetrate a woman's heart that any sensible person should be concerned with.

You don't care what makes your woman happy?

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