CaveAdullam:
There's nothing wrong with you.

It will be utter foolishness to play the mud game because pigs don't like you.

Being chaste as a woman scores you high above other women despite individual ranks and portfolios.

Being a virgin is a big deal. A big one in the day and at night.

If you're a virgin hold tight. Add more covers to every prior layer.

Don't engage in pre-marital sex just to feel among. I bet you, if that man isn't ready for marriage, you'll end up regretting your decisions.

And let your focus on the kind of man for marriage be centered on the religious angle. Since it is only there you can find a good amount of men that can respect your chastity and hold on till the wedding night.

Frolicking with sexually liberal men (and women) will hastily push you to break the "wall".

In order not to go contrary to your conscience and sound reasoning with respect to your sexual decisions, you should maintain your lane.

Thanks.

PS: for non-virgin women, if you can be able to convince your man to stay in a sexless relationship before marriage, fine. But a pragmatic (and sexually liberal) man wouldn't come to such an agreement.

Golden Nuggets!
Your inputs are like petrol for my vehicle of sexual purity and chastity.
With your submissions coupled with other mature pieces of advice well-meaning Nairalanders have proffered, I feel rejuvenated and much stronger.

Thank you!

Kobojunkie:
Seriously! All this "You must have sex because you have had sex before " thinking is nonsense! Relationships no be by force neither is sex in relationship! If you can't find what you want with one person, move on and find someone else who wants what you want.

You must have sex because you have had sex before " thinking is nonsense
Yes, this line of reasoning is faulty

Kobojunkie:
A girl has a right to change the goal post in the game as it is her body and her life. You decide for yourself whether that works for you or not. Saying one first has to be a virgin before one can desire a sexless relationship is ridiculous reasoning. Same goes for boys.

Op. It should not matter whether you are a virgin or not for you to desire to be in a sexless relationship with anyone. It is your right and freedom to desire and demand whatever works for you in relationship and only date those who are with you in your thinking.

You nailed it all!

nairagenone:
I am 36 years and dating a 28 year old virgin lady.
I have had sex severally before I met my babe and we are in a sexless relationship and planning for marriage next year.

There are plenty men like me but they can be found mostly in religious spaces.

Also, how do you dress and present yourself ?

Regardless of your looks, you will find a man that will cherish you and would support your decision .

Thank you

Reminderz:
Olaronke2478, very good, I commend this, this is exactly what I want our ladies to act on...

until a man does the necessary stuff with you by taking it to the next level, visiting your parents and you visiting theirs and taking the necessary steps, do not give in to any man... most men are just sexually frustrated... until marriage preparation are already involved, do not have sex! trust me, they will wait especially if you're a virgin and you're very sure of that...!

but one thing is, there's nothing wrong in a man asking for sex, it's just basic thing to men, but its not just sex for you as a woman, it's a part of investment on your side... men will ask for sex both with good intentions and of course the bad ones, you just have to know how to differentiate the wheat from the chaffs... and always pray to God for guidance because no one is perfect...

Thank you for your kind words

Nazgul:
First I must commend you taking the decision of keeping yourself chaste until marriage.

However, if you want the men in your life to respect this decision, you must be completely honest with them by doing the following.

1. Avoid unnecessary billing. Regardless of how generous a guy is, if you start demanding for money from him, he'll definitely want a taste of your coochie, and if you keep refusing him, your relationship would most likely hit the rocks.

2. Avoid flirting with other guys. Nothing hurts a guy more like when he sees a girl who told him not sex before marriage flirting with other guys on social media. If you're not giving it to him, focus your time on making money, not in engaging other guys, cos that act would cause issues between you and him which can lead to a breakup.

3. Make sure your life is moving forward. Responsibile guys love and respect girls who have a mapped out blueprint for their future, and are actually taking successful steps towards achieving that future. Don't just sit there and say no sex, let him see you as a successful person. Start a business, no matter how small it is, get busy, give him creative ideas on how to invest his money. Believe me, he won't bother you for sex.

Thank you very much. Concerning your first point, I do not bill or ask for gifts from the opposite sex. "Nothing is free even in Freetown"
Your second point, I avoid flirting with other guys like a plague.

And your third point, that's the utmost priority on my scale of preference right now.
Thank you, once again for your inputs!

Hideaki:
How do you cope with your sexual needs??


Find someone genuinely interested and mate away .

How do you cope with your sexual needs??
Discipline

AyobamiIsaac12:
Don't lower your standard just because you feel it's somehow strict. We still got guys that that engage in no sex relationships; it's just that they are scarce. You just need to be patient to meet the right person.

Thanks

Diligent1:
Guys can deceive you into having sex with you claiming to love you, don't fall for their deceit the one that love you truly will stay with you without sex till
when you are ready.

Noted with thanks

Walehelt:


Iconr deactivated today.
Olaronke enter with john cena soundtrack today.
Are you seeing what i'm seeing?

If you have nothing tangible to drop, don't derail my thread

pansophist:
Normally if a woman is a virgin and refuses to have premarital sex, it is not only understandable but applauded.

But where guys seem to have issues is when she has been sexually active before, when it reaches his turn, you now change to celibacy. Few men will interpret such an act of virtue but as manipulation.

It could be true that she is now born again, and has given her life to Christ or Allah, but men just don't trust the virtue of such women, because virtue is proven with sexual consistency (eg a virgin saying no sex before marriage), not switching to celibacy based on her repentance.

Having said that, you should stick to your no-sex-before-marriage rule. The right man will stay, will understand, and will see your value above his desire to nack.

Just that in this life, actions have consequences, and even if you are born again, the consequences in many cases will persist, because God may forgive you, but humans won't. After all, it is God that washes away your sins, not man.

Thank you. I knew I was definitely going to get mature pieces of advice and words of encouragement here.

TheWinterBird:
OP, there's nothing rigid about saving yourself for marriage. If this guy is asking or pressuring you for sex, let him go. Never you compromise your values and standards for anybody.

Secondly, it's totally possible to be in a relationship without sex. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You just have to find a man who loves and respects you, has the same values, and is willing to wait until marriage. Men like this do exist.

Thank you

Kobojunkie:
You are asking the wrong question. There is nothing rigid or uptight about wanting what you want and going for it. Anyone who tells you you are being rigid or uptight has a couple of screws loose in their head and you probably need to steer clear from them. So long as it is not a crime, there i nothing wrong with having desires different from those of others around you.

You want a relationship but you don't have sex. Fine then! Go out and find yourself exactly the type of partner compatible with your values and ideals and problem solved. Be willing to stand your ground, and at the same time, face whatever it is to come for it. It is not easy.

You just lifted my spirits with your words. Thank you

Zonefree:



Sounds strange for a female final year Nigerian student.

Most Nigerian girls in your position have got body counts skyrocketing rapidly.

Girls like Jennyclay, Magnoliaa, and Iyaebe know exactly what I'm talking about.

I am not "MOST GIRLS"

GenderMix:
You have chosen the right path. Never ever loose guard. Keep yourself till you are ready for marriage

No amount of temptation should let you give in. Forget about "love", it is just infatuation and will always lead to regret.

Even the one that genuinely loves you will be tempted to have sex with you. It is normal but don't give in. Always talk sense to your lover because at that moment he may not be reasoning properly because down -below does not understand logic. Manage the situation with wisdom. He may get angry but will cherish you more with time. Don't ever be desperate over relationships because you'll soon realize that what you call LOVE is more of responsibility than feelings

Once again I commend you for keeping focus, hang on. Cheers

Thank you very much. I was beginning to feel conservative and unnecessarily uptight. I will try not to cave in or lower my guard.
You just reinforced my stance with your words. Thank you very much!

misreal:
Hello.nothing is wrong with what you want.
What you need is to talk to him and get to know exactly why he wants to be with you.If he insists that there must be sex involved please move on.

Thank you very much. I was beginning to feel conservative and unnecessarily uptight. I will try not to cave in or lower my guard

jackmrandy:



relationship is not all about sex if you know it will lead to marriage and not billing upon billing. Also ask the guy what he wants from you. the relationship should be defined. will it lead to marriage? if you know its not going to lead to marriage better you tell him instead of allowing him be in a sexless relationship with you and at the end marriage will not be involved. As for the STD aspect which you are afraid of, both of you sit down and discusss what your priorities are and how to settle them

Thank you very much

I know that the "Romance Section" is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will be able to get mature pieces of advice here.

Here goes my gist;
I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind.

I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I knew none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex.

Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless relationship".
Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect.

I need mature advice, please