I know that the "Romance Section" is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will be able to get mature pieces of advice here.

Here goes my gist;
I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind.

I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I knew none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex.

Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless relationship".
Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect.

I need mature advice, please

.

Olaronke2478:
I know that the Romance Section is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will get mature pieces of advice here.

Here goes my gist;
I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind.

I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I know none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex.

Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless" relationship.
Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect.

I need mature advice, please

relationship is not all about sex if you know it will lead to marriage and not billing upon billing. Also ask the guy what he wants from you. the relationship should be defined. will it lead to marriage? if you know its not going to lead to marriage better you tell him instead of allowing him be in a sexless relationship with you and at the end marriage will not be involved. As for the STD aspect which you are afraid of, both of you sit down and discusss what your priorities are and how to settle them

.

You have chosen the right path. Never ever loose guard. Keep yourself till you are ready for marriage

No amount of temptation should let you give in. Forget about "love", it is just infatuation and will always lead to regret.

Even the one that genuinely loves you will be tempted to have sex with you. It is normal but don't give in. Always talk sense to your lover because at that moment he may not be reasoning properly because down -below does not understand logic. Manage the situation with wisdom. He may get angry but will cherish you more with time. Don't ever be desperate over relationships because you'll soon realize that what you call LOVE is more of responsibility than feelings

Once again I commend you for keeping focus, hang on. Cheers

Hello.nothing is wrong with what you want.
What you need is to talk to him and get to know exactly why he wants to be with you.If he insists that there must be sex involved,please move on..

Searching for a sexless relationship is like searching for snow in a hot desert. You can't get it anywhere. You should search for love instead

Sexless relationship..

I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity.

Sounds strange for a female final year Nigerian student.

Most Nigerian girls in your position have got body counts skyrocketing rapidly.

Girls like Jennyclay, Magnoliaa, and Iyaebe know exactly what I'm talking about.

jackmrandy:



relationship is not all about sex if you know it will lead to marriage and not billing upon billing. Also ask the guy what he wants from you. the relationship should be defined. will it lead to marriage? if you know its not going to lead to marriage better you tell him instead of allowing him be in a sexless relationship with you and at the end marriage will not be involved. As for the STD aspect which you are afraid of, both of you sit down and discusss what your priorities are and how to settle them

Thank you very much

misreal:
Hello.nothing is wrong with what you want.
What you need is to talk to him and get to know exactly why he wants to be with you.If he insists that there must be sex involved please move on.

Thank you very much. I was beginning to feel conservative and unnecessarily uptight. I will try not to cave in or lower my guard

GenderMix:
You have chosen the right path. Never ever loose guard. Keep yourself till you are ready for marriage

No amount of temptation should let you give in. Forget about "love", it is just infatuation and will always lead to regret.

Even the one that genuinely loves you will be tempted to have sex with you. It is normal but don't give in. Always talk sense to your lover because at that moment he may not be reasoning properly because down -below does not understand logic. Manage the situation with wisdom. He may get angry but will cherish you more with time. Don't ever be desperate over relationships because you'll soon realize that what you call LOVE is more of responsibility than feelings

Once again I commend you for keeping focus, hang on. Cheers

Thank you very much. I was beginning to feel conservative and unnecessarily uptight. I will try not to cave in or lower my guard.
You just reinforced my stance with your words. Thank you very much!

Zonefree:



Sounds strange for a female final year Nigerian student.

Most Nigerian girls in your position have got body counts skyrocketing rapidly.

Girls like Jennyclay, Magnoliaa, and Iyaebe know exactly what I'm talking about.

I am not "MOST GIRLS"

Olaronke2478:
I know that the Romance Section is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will get mature pieces of advice here. Here goes my gist; I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind. I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I know none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex. Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless" relationship. Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect. I need mature advice, please

You are asking the wrong question. There is nothing rigid or uptight about wanting what you want and going for it. Anyone who tells you you are being rigid or uptight has a couple of screws loose in their head and you probably need to steer clear from them. So long as it is not a crime, there i nothing wrong with having desires different from those of others around you.

You want a relationship but you don't have sex. Fine then! Go out and find yourself exactly the type of partner compatible with your values and ideals and problem solved. Be willing to stand your ground, and at the same time, face whatever it is to come for it. It is not easy.

OP, there's nothing rigid about saving yourself for marriage. If this guy is asking or pressuring you for sex, let him go. Never you compromise your values and standards for anybody.

Secondly, it's totally possible to be in a relationship without sex. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You just have to find a man who loves and respects you, has the same values, and is willing to wait until marriage. Men like this do exist.

Kobojunkie:
You are asking the wrong question. There is nothing rigid or uptight about wanting what you want and going for it. Anyone who tells you you are being rigid or uptight has a couple of screws loose in their head and you probably need to steer clear from them. So long as it is not a crime, there i nothing wrong with having desires different from those of others around you.

You want a relationship but you don't have sex. Fine then! Go out and find yourself exactly the type of partner compatible with your values and ideals and problem solved. Be willing to stand your ground, and at the same time, face whatever it is to come for it. It is not easy.

You just lifted my spirits with your words. Thank you

TheWinterBird:
OP, there's nothing rigid about saving yourself for marriage. If this guy is asking or pressuring you for sex, let him go. Never you compromise your values and standards for anybody.

Secondly, it's totally possible to be in a relationship without sex. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise. You just have to find a man who loves and respects you, has the same values, and is willing to wait until marriage. Men like this do exist.

Thank you

Normally if a woman is a virgin and refuses to have premarital sex, it is not only understandable but applauded.

But where guys seem to have issues is when she has been sexually active before, when it reaches his turn, you now change to celibacy. Few men will interpret such an act of virtue but as manipulation.

It could be true that she is now born again, and has given her life to Christ or Allah, but men just don't trust the virtue of such women, because virtue is proven with sexual consistency (eg a virgin saying no sex before marriage), not switching to celibacy based on her repentance.

Having said that, you should stick to your no-sex-before-marriage rule. The right man will stay, will understand, and will see your value above his desire to nack.

Just that in this life, actions have consequences, and even if you are born again, the consequences in many cases will persist, because God may forgive you, but humans won't. After all, it is God that washes away your sins, not man.

Olaronke2478:
I know that the Romance Section is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will get mature pieces of advice here.

Here goes my gist;
I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind.

I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I know none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex.

Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless" relationship.
Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect.

I need mature advice, please

The choice you made is to guide yourself so that you will not experience nonsense from any relationship

The real truth is that you can't run away from it

Whenever you are fully prepared to go into any relationship, make up your mind and start one

But if you insist till the right person comes, no one knows who the right person is

And it's not easy to get a sexless relationship now

If you get one then you are just lucky

Zonefree:



Sounds strange for a female final year Nigerian student.

Most Nigerian girls in your position have got body counts skyrocketing rapidly.

Girls like Jennyclay, Magnoliaa, and Iyaebe know exactly what I'm talking about.

Iconr deactivated today.
Olaronke enter with john cena soundtrack today.
Are you seeing what i'm seeing?

First I must commend you taking the decision of keeping yourself chaste until marriage.

However, if you want the men in your life to respect this decision, you must be completely honest with them by doing the following.

1. Avoid unnecessary billing. Regardless of how generous a guy is, if you start demanding for money from him, he'll definitely want a taste of your coochie, and if you keep refusing him, your relationship would most likely hit the rocks.

2. Avoid flirting with other guys. Nothing hurts a guy more like when he sees a girl who told him not sex before marriage flirting with other guys on social media. If you're not giving it to him, focus your time on making money, not in engaging other guys, cos that act would cause issues between you and him which can lead to a breakup.

3. Make sure your life is moving forward. Responsibile guys love and respect girls who have a mapped out blueprint for their future, and are actually taking successful steps towards achieving that future. Don't just sit there and say no sex, let him see you as a successful person. Start a business, no matter how small it is, get busy, give him creative ideas on how to invest his money. Believe me, he won't bother you for sex.

Iyaebe i like this your new disguise o,... Olaronke virgin a.k.a ENP grand marshal

Guys can deceive you into having sex with you claiming to love you, don't fall for their deceit the one that love you truly will stay with you without sex till when you are ready.

pansophist:
Normally if a woman is a virgin and refuses to have premarital sex, it is not only understandable but applauded.

But where guys seem to have issues is when she has been sexually active before, when it reaches his turn, you now change to celibacy. Few men will interpret such an act of virtue but as manipulation.

It could be true that she is now born again, and has given her life to Christ or Allah, but men just don't trust the virtue of such women, because virtue is proven with sexual consistency (eg a virgin saying no sex before marriage), not switching to celibacy based on her repentance.

Having said that, you should stick to your no-sex-before-marriage rule. The right man will stay, will understand, and will see your value above his desire to nack.

Just that in this life, actions have consequences, and even if you are born again, the consequences in many cases will persist, because God may forgive you, but humans won't. After all, it is God that washes away your sins, not man.

Thank you. I knew I was definitely going to get mature pieces of advice and words of encouragement here.

Walehelt:


Iconr deactivated today.
Olaronke enter with john cena soundtrack today.
Are you seeing what i'm seeing?

If you have nothing tangible to drop, don't derail my thread

Diligent1:
Guys can deceive you into having sex with you claiming to love you, don't fall for their deceit the one that love you truly will stay with you without sex till
when you are ready.

Noted with thanks

Olaronke2478:
I know that the Romance Section is the appropriate section for my post but I feel I will get mature pieces of advice here.

Here goes my gist;
I am a lady in my mid-twenties and in my final year at one of the Universities in Nigeria. It happens that I have never been in any relationship because I've been fleeing from premarital sex and chasing a path of sexual purity. My decision to flee has never been propelled or fueled by religion but morals, safety from STDs, and peace of mind.

I have met many guys who wanted to be in a relationship with me but I turned them down because I know none of them would want to be in a "sexless relationship".
However, I met one recently and he seems to be really interested in me, and vice versa. He wants a relationship with me, and I do too but I am not ready to engage in premarital sex.

Sex seems to be the bane of romantic relationships these days and I'm afraid no one wants to be in a " sexless" relationship.
Am I being too rigid or uptight concerning the issue of not having sex in a relationship? I feel tempted to lower my guard on this aspect.

I need mature advice, please

Don't lower your standard just because you feel it's somehow strict. We still got guys that that engage in no sex relationships; it's just that they are scarce. You just need to be patient to meet the right person.

AyobamiIsaac12:
Don't lower your standard just because you feel it's somehow strict. We still got guys that that engage in no sex relationships; it's just that they are scarce. You just need to be patient to meet the right person.

Thanks

If you want to be in a sexless relationship please don't demand nor collect money from the young man.

How do you cope with your sexual needs??


Find someone genuinely interested and mate away .

Olaronke2478:

If you don't feel like it yet, don't do it, and be clear about it with him. He may be unfaithful or break up if he really wants to be having sex, that's the way life is. If he doesn't want to be with you longterm, he won't stay because he had sex with you.

jackmrandy:



relationship is not all about sex if you know it will lead to marriage and not billing upon billing. Also ask the guy what he wants from you. the relationship should be defined. will it lead to marriage? if you know its not going to lead to marriage better you tell him instead of allowing him be in a sexless relationship with you and at the end marriage will not be involved. As for the STD aspect which you are afraid of, both of you sit down and discusss what your priorities are and how to settle them

When you know a guy can promise you marriage just to sleep with you, you'll probably reconsider editing your advice