₦airaland Forum

An elderly man boarded a bus in
lagos with a pretty girl sitting
close to him. A young man
wanted to light a cigarette in the
bus.
MAN: What is wrong with you
young man, why would you light
a cigarette in this bus? Do you
want to kill this pretty girl here.
YOUNG MAN: Sorry sir...he put off
the light.
After a long time in the traffic
without movement, the pretty
girl stretched with her hands in
the air and a serious odour came
out from her armpit. Immediately
the elderly man said to young
man.
MAN: Light the ciga!
YOUNG MAN: Sir?
MAN: Are u deaf? I say light the
ciga!!!
YOUNG MAN: Ok sir.
[He lit d cigarette]
MAN: Blow it to my nose,
bloooow it!!!
YOUNG MAN: Yes sir.
MAN: It is better to die this way
than to die that way!

Bible says ómó aye a baye ló, ómó eja a ba èja lo, and so it apply it to her also. Ómó afagbo a ba igbo

Gift Chioma Emeka =G.C.E
David Victor Denis =DVD
Hope Innocent Vincent =HIV
Love Grateful Ada =LGA
Nathan Tim Aboh =NTA
Amanda Ino Daniel Sera =AIDS
Nwankwo Elochi Peter Agnes=NEPA
Veronica Ifeoma Peter =VIP
Rapuruchuku Iheanyi Paul- RIP
Benjamin Bony Maduako =BBM
Mukaila Tunde Nurudeen =MTN
Deborah Sarah Tiffany Veronica (DSTV)
Bode Raji Tafa (BRT)
Nike Emmanuela Cosmas Orlando (NECO)
Waziri Ahmed Ebenezer Concordis (WAEC)
Jamiu Alaba Mailaka Bakare (JAMB)
Usman Maduka Emmanuel (UME)
Oya add your own join and let's go there.....

Welcome to NIGERIA!!!
-Where sex is free and love is
costly
-Where loosing a phone is more
painful than virginity
-Where if you don't cheat on
your partner youare not smart
and sharp
-Where bathrooms have bcome
a photo studio
-Where getting a blackberry
phone is greater than achieving a
BSC Degree
-Where yahoo guys think they
have brighter future.
-where gaining admission
depend
on ur pocket.
-where student read hard and
fail to get admission.
my gr8 country naija

A new teacher and the school principal saga
Principal: who are you? Can I help you?
Lady: I am new English teacher here
Principal: so you are the new English language teacher?
Lady: yes ma.
Principal: tell me the opposite of good
Lady: bad
Principal: ugly
Lady: fine
Principal: you are wrong
Lady: you are wrong
Principal: Oh! Now stop all that
Lady: Oh! Now carry on all that
Principal: Get out!
Lady: get in
Principal: Oh God
Lady: Oh devil!!
Principal: you are rejected
Lady: you are accepted. Lol

@nnecar: na you be the mumu foool

Peter : "I want my money now!"
Tom : "I will kill myself so that I
won't pay you
*he pulled a gun n shot himself
dead* Peter : "hahaha..... If u
think u'll get away with my
money u r wrong, i'l follow u
until u pay me
*he takes the gun n shot himself
dead as well * Akpors : was
watching from a distance he
laughed n
said : "these guys are funny, I
want to watch this till
the end"....
*he also took the gun and killed
him self! TO FIND OUT
WHAT HAPPEN AT THE END
who is stupid most?

Akpors father asked him to write his list of items for his 2nd year in the university,akpors brought the list 2 hours after and the items were, Cultism monthly fee:2000 Babe allowance:5000 Bullet fee:7000 Hotel bill:5000 Condom allowance:2000 Booby touch:3000 Abortion allowance:20000 Igbooo & cocaine: 10000 his father collasped and died.

PRESIDENT JONATHAN GIVES BOKO
HARAM AMNESTY
The spate of insecurity,
bombings and killings in parts of
Nigeria might be coming to an
end as President Goodluck
Jonathan is said to have accepted
to give the dreaded Islamic sect,
Boko Haram, amnesty as has
been requested by many
Northern leaders.
A credible source told skilo9ja
that amnesty for Boko Haram has
been accepted...
The accord was said to have
been struck at a meeting
between Mr President and the
leadership of the Northern Elders
Forum at the presidential villa,
Abuja, which lasted into the
night.
Consequently, President Jonathan
has summoned a security
meeting with chiefs in the
country, which will be held today
at the presidential villa. They are
to finalize the tactics for the
amnesty. Also, I hear a committee
will be set up to oversee the
process.
Present at the meeting were
notable Northern leaders. Lets
hope this approach works.

"When
NIGERIANS steal money, they
keep it in SWISS BANKS, When
they're sick they go to
INDIA or GERMANY, When they
want to invest they go
to AMERICA, When they want to
buy mansions they buy
in LONDON/CANADA. They go to
DUBAI for shopping,
PARIS for holidays. When they
want to repent- ISREAL
OR SAUDI ARABIA. But when they
DIE they all want to be
BURIED in NIGERIA.
Please, help me ask them, is
NIGERIA
a CEMETERY?"

;DTake am easy oo ;DTake am easy oo

u are stil a kid men ;Du are stil a kid men

: You are 18 yrs old, dating a 62
year old man n your update says,
"I can't wait 2 see my baby" Is he
your baby or ur ANCESTOR ?

Reasons why The New Party APC May Not Be The CHANGE 1. 85% of them were former PDP members 2. Most of parties in the collation are regional parties. 3. Forming a party just to win election is not the solution we need. 4. Too many cook spoil the food. 5. PDP remains the only true NATIONAL PARTY in Nigeria. 6. War within the members of the merged party 7. Egos, pride, etc will mar the party. 8. None of the parties in the alliance have internal democracy. 9. PDP won't go to sleep as APC would want to think. 10. Most of the members in APC were criminal under PDP. 11. Some of the parties can't even win a state outside their zone 12. Our politics is mostly MONEY CONTROLLED and PDP got the money.

;DJesu :oJesu haha oga o breast cancer is knockin fa. See how he jst pack it whiout respect

TEN COMMANDMENTS OF WOMEN...
1. Don't be in a hurry to move
out of your parents house.
2.
Don't wait for a man before you
start living. You can live a fulfilled
life as a single woman.
3. Stay
away from alcohol. It has killed
others and you are not special.
4.
Don't entertain a wrong number
call, especially at night. Its not the
right way to find a lover.
5. Don't
form the habit of eating men's
money. Your glory might be tied.
Make your own money and eat it.
6. Dress well: Impression count.
People will judge you by the way
you dress even before they talk
to you.
7. Don't use sex as proof
of love. Sex is no proof of love,
he'll leave you after the sex.
8.
Don't marry for the money, else
you'll become one of his
possessions.
9. Add value to
yourself - get a career. Don't be
fooled that a man will solve all
your problems.
10. Beauty is not
everything. If it is all you have,
you'll lose your place to someone
beautiful, better more matured
and competent than you..

Relationships never Die a Natural Death. They are always Murdered by Attitude, Behaviour, Ego, Hidden Benefits or Ignorance.

eyaa thank God o

On a bus going from Ibadan to Lagos, the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang she picks it & said: "Honey, I'm in a bus going to Abuja for the burial, I'll call you when I get there". Another girl's phone rang, she said: "Sweetheart I'm on my way to Port Harcourt for the Masters Degree Form, pls send me Credit for the trip". The other one's phone rang, she said "Alhaji, sorry I'm onmy way to Owerri for the interview, I'll call you later" A mallam who was man sitting @ the back of the bus suddenly raises hisvoice in anger: "Driver stop pls, park this bus, where exactly is this bus going to!!?? ;DOn a bus going from Ibadan to Lagos, the phone of a girl sitting close to me rang she picks it & said: "Honey, I'm in a bus going to Abuja for the burial, I'll call you when I get there". Another girl's phone rang, she said: "Sweetheart I'm on my way to Port Harcourt for the Masters Degree Form, pls send me Credit for the trip". The other one's phone rang, she said "Alhaji, sorry I'm onmy way to Owerri for the interview, I'll call you later" A mallam who was man sitting @ the back of the bus suddenly raises hisvoice in anger: "Driver stop pls, park this bus, where exactly is this bus going to!!??