AfroKnight:
You cannot tell me that you didn’t notice this rigid behaviour during courtship.

Better discuss with her to find a solution.

Also, hustle to get enough money. You’re a man. Even their so called Feminism will not make a naija woman spend her own money on a man. Better take care of yourself.

As for the sex, you must let her know in clear terms that she cannot use sex (Withholding it vindictively) as a weapon to punish you. Any woman who does that deserves to be cheated on.

And remember also she's pregnant. Pregnancy can cause many moods swing okay.

cococandy:
Please don’t let him stay in your house.
You have forgiven him but be wise.

He’s clearly jealous. He’s coming to your house to see things for himself. You can’t predict what he will do after that.

that kind of person can poison you. Be wise like serpent.

daddytime:
For the single fact that the relationship was founded and consummated on the altar of deception and outright falsehood, you have the liberty to take whatever action that is pleasing to you.

However, whatever action you'd be taking should be taken very far away from her. In other words, vanish (find your level, disappear) from her make she no even get your bearing.

Relocate elsewhere if you can to go start a new life with another woman.

You'd be granted a divorce on the grounds of deception by her but why tow such an expensive route if you can't afford it now.

Some disappearing act dey worse pass divorce sef, na she go come dey look for and beg you to divorce her make she fit move on las las

This my advice for you no be carry advice oh, na level wey I don do wey work for me.

Good luck bro.

Please think twice before any action. Everything in this life can not be perfect okay. My husband lied too of his age when I married him. He is currently 20 years older than I,but I can't kill myself. Please if you love your wife forget her age and focus on how she will conceive. Visit good hospital, try longrich wine or any fertility booster. With Prayer she will conceive okay. Good luck.

Thanks to all of you. I appreciate so much. Never believed that through reading of some responses I will get better. You guys made me better and with prayer God will see us through. U guys are the best. You have really helped me in one way or the other. As for my maid,have decided to take her to my mom so to help her finish her education,cos she has nobody to train her. Thank you all and God bless.

Richy4:


I just want to ask you this question and I want you to be honest with me.. don't do it just for the sake of likes.. If u were in OP's shoes, who has weigh the pros and cons, would you report your husband?

Op has decided to forgive the man.. But was looking for a way to heal and u suggested she should leave the marriage .. If you were Op or she was your family member, Would you have abandoned your marriage or ask your family member to leave her matrimonial home.

Just want an honest answer from the heart.

She may not understand the pain and trauma. Forgive her. Thank you. Am blessed to get solutions through Nairaland forum. May God bless you.

andyanders:
Madam, you're welcomed. I'm glad you've even forgiven the girl you expressed that you see or took her as a daughter. This goes to show a kind heart you have and may God Almighty help you to overcome this storm. For the girl, do call and counsel her from time to time never to try such, even outside your home. Devil wants to destroy your peaceful home.Since your husband was remorseful for his action and pleaded for mercy, in your closset, both of you should hold hands together and call unto God for the restoration of his manhood. Nothing Jesus cannot do and he should avoid sugar or eatables that contain sugar. Bitter colar from time to time. God bless your home.

Thank you so much. I appreciate. May God you too. Am relieved some how reading these messages. You have saved a soul.

andyanders:
Op, I feel for you and appreciate the fact the he accepted and asked for forgiveness. That said, never seek the advise of any pastor or outsider over this issue as most pastors don't keep any form of secret as he will expose you to his wife and other elders and too, any third party you discussed the issue will ridducle your family as they can never keep your secret. Secret is the only thing only you knows.He has asked for forgiveness, forgive him and don't abandorn him now. You send the girl back and don't create any problem with her. Your husband's issue can be treated. That is another issue/topic for another day. Forgive and trust God for His grace. Never follow those talking trash here that you should divorce him. Do you know their own secret? Hell No. Nobody without sin.

Thank you so much dear. My God will bless you.

Graxie:
You have forgiven your husband yet you took the maid to doctor to check her virginity. You are asking what should you do to the maid. How come you are so interested in the maid? Are you married to your maid? If you can forgive your husband, why can't you forgive your maid?

is someone's child okay. I want to get her well again cos she's like a daughter to me. Knowing that she's a virgin is one case closed for me. Then getting her back to her feet again is another. My maid and I need healing okay. She was very happy to know she's still a virgin and now the one pleading for forgiveness for them both. No pray for this situation to fell on you, you will never reason well.

Have gone for test today,but my doctor said no penetration(that the girl is still a virgin).So what have they been doing since I ask. The case is weird to me. Thanks all for una advice.

Jimbadly:
Since he has stopped the act going by the maid's letter to him, I suggest you forgive him and put the whole shameful thing behind you.

After the lock down, send the maid away. Fortunately, she didn't take in. If that had been the case, your husband would have been saddled with the responsibility of taking care of a child from another woman.

Thank u so much.Am grateful.

CsRockefeller:


Dont listen to people here who will break your marriage o. I advice you talk or share with your Pastor first.

Dont break your home o, Nairaland wont be there for u when the nights come.

.Thank you so much dear. But what should i do to the maid?

doitforyou:
You need to report him, he raped a child.

okay.but what am thinking is how to cope with the kids alone?

GboyegaD:
It is difficult to advice however, since you have forgiven him, do whatever it is you have to do to heal so that you can get past it.

Thank you so much

My heart is really bitter writing this. Am married with kids(beautiful kids). In Marriage for 12 years now. Just got to know three days ago that my wonderful husband has been having sex with my 15yrs maids who happens to be in the same village with him. While for passed 3 years now nothing much have been happening between us considering the fact that he's having erectile dysfunctions,which i understood with him. When i got to find out about their mischief(thru the note she wrote to my husband which i saw in her bag;telling him that she knows that my husband don't like her anymore because my husband told her that he's done And that she will tell her people in village). When confronted my maid,she confessed to me that it all started immediately she came into my house 3 years back.When confronted my husband he pleaded guilty(said he wanted to see if is possible to have erection that he's always ashamed due to the problem) and have been crying for the past 6days begging for forgiveness.I have forgiven him though but am emotionally imbalance. Lockdown come cause more wahala.Please good advice needed on what to do.Thank you.