₦airaland Forum

OhiGentle:
I believe this might sound like a story line but it's real and one has to be careful about those that present themselves as pastors.

This my guy has been dating his girlfriend for over three years and they eventually started planning how to get get married. They had to get their parents involved just to give them the hint that they are serious together.

Now the girls parents got their pastor involved as normal and news came that the pastor said he wasn't the one for her and that someone else was going to come for her. The guy now had to involve his pastor as well who now told him that God had shown him that they are meant to be together and if the girl should not marry the guy she might never see a guy that will love her and tolerate high anger.

It became so confusing because God can't speak differently. The girls parents now had some issues and this guy introduced them to his own pastor who help them in prayers and somehow it's like their problem was sorted out and this guys pastor became close to the girls family because he saw they were very wealthy.

Now this pastor is introducing his younger brother to the girl and has started seeing an opposite vision for the girl that her fiance has a bad foundation from his fore fathers. He has started telling the girl so much crap that she is even so pissed with him but can't tell him to his face just to respect him as a man of God.

Please what advice can you give this guy and his fiancee regarding this situation because they can't do without each other.

They should just forget about the guy's pastor. I had a very similar experience. My would-be-wife went for her youth service in Ife and was attending a church where the pastor manipulated her into leaving me for another guy who was somehow meeting their material needs. They told her she would regret marrying me. She fell for that for several months and almost lost out until she realised she was a tool in the hands of the pastor and wife. It's really a long story. Today, we are married with two boys. The parents will also need some convincing as their pastor said something ominous about their future together. They should just pray

musicwriter:
The so called educationists don't understand what's going on in your child's mind, cause if they knew education would be overhauled for good. I can explain to you, if you give me answer to below question.

Does your child speak English at home or our native language? Answer to this question is very important.

English, bro. He is 3⅓yrs old precisely.

hUmaneOne:
The difference in attitude at home and school indicates a hostile environment in school. You have to playfully engage him and get details from him because all the symptoms point to child abuse. His teacher is suspect

ask him about who his friends are. 4 year old can respond to that.
ask whether he likes his teacher, whether his teacher beats him,or calls him a dullard, or whether he will like to have another teacher. check his response when you tell him he will not see the teacher again as per school changing, check for subtle hidden signs of physical abuse.

its not a matter of watching and waiting..This formative years are more vital even than than his teen years. Please sir, you must change school ASAP

That's y I cried out. I believe the teacher has roles to play. My wife once called my attention to some mark on his back. It looked like he was caned. I will do as suggested before considering changing school. This can really be frustrating

asala1:
A 4 years old kid repeating class? A 4 years old kid has a home teacher? Whaat? Why are you abusing your kid?

I'm not abusing him, pls. The idea of having a home teacher was tinkered with due to reports I got. I wanted him to catch up.

Zoehill:
My brother, there is nothing wrong with your son. He is brilliant, my daughter of 2 plus is a smart happy girl when she started school but latter i realized that she wet her pants instead of calling her Áunty when she need to visit the toilet. There was a day i stayed back to take her to school only for her to decilined that she is not attending school that day, being a child i left her at home and visited the school myself only to see the Aunty bulling the small children under the disguise of being stressed. I have never seen where nursery/KG AUNTIES will be shouting at the top of their voices on little children. I changed her from the school that day and now she crave to leave home everyday for school.
Please find time to speak with your son and ask him if Aunty do beat or maltreat him, once he can talk. He will give you some clue.............not all females are mothers.

Thanks very much for this... I appreciate

CriticMaestro:
homeschooling bro homeschooling shikenan...op say no b obange sha

lol

MMotimo:
Now I know you must be the reason why I came to Nland today, God wanted me to share our firsthand experience as parents with you.

One of our kids who is now a teenager was exactly like your son at that age. Went to daycare and would not speak while there but came home and talked and played and recited all learnings. Actually knew a lot more than taught in class. At a point, the day care director asked to see us because the staff were very concerned at the silence everytime. We told them all was well and they left it at that. Fortunately, in this part of the world, there is no threat of "no promotion" which by the way is just nonsense but that's another topic.

With no exaggeration whatsoever, I say that same child has always been at the top of their class, kind hearted, loved by every single teacher, outstandingly achieves in every undertaking, opens doors for us wherever we go (once people realize we are XYZ's parents, they bend over backwards to accommodate us), genius level smart (with multiple IQ and school test results to confirm). I am not joking when I say that sometimes I feel intimidated by the weight of the responsibility of raising a child who is so outstandingly briliant. These kinds of kids may never become chatter boxes but they are deep thinkers and you will come to realize that. Some of us talk a lot but that does not translate into high intelligence.

You MUST be an advocate for your defenceless child and don't let any teacher or proprietor bully you with threats. If they doubt the child's abilities, why not test him? Is he failing in school? And if he is, maybe it's just due to fear of his teachers or a lack of comfort with the class environment. I shudder at the thought of what they could be putting him through in their ignorance, I hope they are not spanking him

I pray that a time will come when seasoned, sound educators will run Nigeria's early childhood education programs so that they don't try to force developing kids into cookie cutter boxes that their limited exposure can comprehend. It's preposterous that they are considering having a toddler repeat a non class because the child is not like the others.

God has given you that child for a reason, you have a responsibility to stand up and defend him with all your might. If it means changing schools, do just that.

I'm a man, but was almost shedding tears reading ur post. Thanks very much. My wife called my attention to some mark she saw on my son's back. It was that of being caned. The school sets parameters determining promotion into d next class. They believe that at that level he must be able to write 1-20, a-z and count well. He does nothing of these in school and doesn't respond. Extremely quiet and hardly eats his food in school but will recite all poems, count 1-50, a-z not write beyond 4 with few letters, demand for food if he's hungry, plays very well at home.

steppin:
One of the many habits of over-pampered kids.
He probably needs to be spoon-fed before he can learn.

I disagree with this. It's got nothing to do with pampering. He eats, does everything virtually by himself at home. He gets frowned at when necessary as I don't tolerate any poo.

Richy4:
Here u go again comparing him with what others can do.....I have not seen that kid but i like him already...Because he is making your adrenaline go haywire....

I believe he's gonna be one of the best u ever got...Some starts really slow man and by the time he clock 6-7, you will be surprise...
Do not make him grow faster than his age... he is just 3....

Kids are into technology this days, I discovered that immediately they came out of the womb, they fell inlove with cellphones...and tablets...

U can get those toy tablets that has alphabets and other charts that got A is for Apple...

Thanks, bro

Neverquit:
Seeing the school head might not change anything because they tend to cover for each other.

The best thing to do is try to coax the truth out of your son. If all fails, install a spy camera (or place voice recorder) in his bag or pockets.

From the info you provided, the problem is from the school. If you are unable to find out the truth, please change his school. If the behavior persists, then see a child psychologist or behavioral therapist.

Let me see how meeting the school head pans out.... thanks for ur advice

Neverquit:
Double post.

yeah, posted it in education section, too. Trying to get pieces of advice I can work and grapple with

yanabasee:
At home... Do you allow your son to play around with his peers in your neighbourhood?..

His relationship with the neighbours will go along way to enhance his social life.. If you stay where there are no neighbours around.. Try to bring in ur brothers or sister's children for visitation during weekends....

I used to be like him... But in my case.. I wasn't able to speak English language which was the only means of communication in the school... So I'll find it very difficult to associate with other kids in the school...

hmmmmmmnnn......there are children he plays with at home.

Oyin93:
Here to learn,also have a three year old like dat.

hmmmmnnm.....so, how do we solve it?

Nairalanddiary:
You can try teaching him the little you can at home, or change the school. Maybe a change in environment will be better

School is the issue. He has home teacher and we teach him at home,too He will just not talk in school making the school say he might repeat class.

yanabasee:
At home... Do you allow your son to play around with his peers in your neighbourhood?..

His relationship with the neighbours will go along way to enhance his social life.. If you stay where there are no neighbours around.. Try to bring in ur brothers or sister's children for visitation during weekends....

I used to be like him... But in my case.. I wasn't able to speak English language which was the only means of communication in the school... So I'll find it very difficult to associate with other kids in the school...

I did say that he plays at home, talks, recites things taught in school, but all these he won't do in school.

general111:
Op!op!op!...how many times i call you..your son reminds me of "me" when i was a child.the environment in his class does not suit his learnin.it could be either from his teacher or his mates.but most likely from his teachers..the best thing to do is to change his school..

Hmmmmmmnnn........the teacher might be the issue. Anyway, I'm seeing the school head tomorrow.

ihutuluv:
Please do not change his school it will not help. Talk to your son and encourage him.promise him you will get him that thing he so much desires, maybe a toy, but on the condition that he reads or answer his teacher in school.
Keep encouraging him and always enquire from him if he answered his teacher or read in class every day. My son was not given report sheet for last term but you can't try him now. He can count 1_50 correctly, write 1_ 30 on his own read and write A_Z. All by himself. He is 3years and some months.The same method worked for him.Above all pray for him.best of luck.

Thanks for ur advice. I will put it to use

Richy4:
This is one area that makes me like Nigeria...Even a kid that has bearly came out of the womb is already in school and has gotten already worried parent concerned that he has not started learning calculus.....

Please slow down a bit sir...He is three....Maybe he does not like the teacher, or the school..I can't talk about bullying because they are under the watchful eyes of their teachers....

Just ask him if he wants u to change the school for him.....I know he will say yes.. but put it under consideration...As i said before, I suggest u slow down a bit on him please and let him be a kid a little

I like ur sense of humour and ur advice. My concern is I've seen what my in-law's child of his age and others can do both at home and school. Anyway, ur advice is soothing. Thanks so much

Mafio:
Is either the teacher is abusing ur son or his mates
It could be verbal abuse, hitting, or telling his class mates to like telling him
"Shame. Shame."
And many more that make him lose interest in school activities.

Please talk to ur son.

If he always feel reluctant to go to school my dear it a sign.

He doesn't feel reluctant at all. Very eager to go to school. This is one more reason I'm confused about the whole thing.

thorpido:
It seems your child gets intimidated at school.it could be the teacher.

This is exactly what I told his home teacher after I got home. She told me there was nothing like that... really confused.

My son(almost 4yrs) is in the reception class. He doesn't respond to teachings at school, doesn't talk or play. This is the exact opposite at home. Plays very well at home, sings and talks about all he's taught in the school. He responds very well to the teachings of his home teacher. His teacher in school is saying he will repeat class 'cos there is nothing to show he's learnt things. What do I do? Teachers, educators and Co, ur help is needed pls.

My son(almost 4yrs) is in the reception class. He doesn't respond to teachings at school, doesn't talk or play. This is the exact opposite at home. Plays very well at home, sings and talks about all he's taught in the school. He responds very well to the teachings of his home teacher. His teacher in school is saying he will repeat class 'cos there is nothing to show he's learnt things. What do I do? Teachers, educators and Co, ur help is needed pls.

fabulous16:
There was this girl am very found of, i wish to date her bt thinking about the consequence that may arouse in giving in for her. Need ur opinion fellow nairalanders

There is nothing wrong with that. I dated my course mate in my second semester 200L way back then. There was no problem. Had my 4.1 as CGPA(if u're saying that can create lack of concentration). Would av made more than that but had some issues in my 100L and not after I met her. Today we are married with two boys. It is all about maturity and knowing wat u want in d relationship.

Nazaretha:
If one can't dance, don't nod to songs.

If he was financially buoyant, he wouldn't mumble a thing.

And, hope he knows, the lady will definitely get a better person.

wat is dis one saying? chai, there is trouble

ojun50:
I will jst call my wife nd ask her who is the real father of dis child

lol

Achuwa1:
[b]arresa: [/b]7:18pm
Unfortunately for the clown, his market women routine can not stop the EFCC....


Useless clown.

Fayose is a many with many lives.
Remember strong obj tried him & failed,is it weak buhari tht will try him & succeed.
He has told bubu to wait for him at 2018 when his tenure ends.

My brother, how did Obj try him and fail? Maybe, history is not a forte of urs. Av u gotten he ran away from govt house by hiding inside the boot of the vehicle he escaped with when Obj made things miserable for him? I see that uve forgotten he was impeached. He is a man who has failed to learn from history. I'm from Ekiti and believe me when I tell u he is a bad choice.

Chai....... this is how u go about misinforming people! YOU CAN BE CHARGED FOR NOT BEING IN POSSESSION OF YOUR VEHICLE PAPERS, BRO.

AngryNigerian:
Lol...bro, d thing de work die! Them fear Army, Navy & Airforce eh! Most of them no even kno the rank systems for Armed forces! So, just learn a lot about force...

I pity u. Did u know all those people u mentioned are more polite than some so called civilians. They know what is expected of them. They are released, if traffic regulations are flouted, on the basis of esprit de corps. That is it!

Chigold101:
what is nice about this news now?
What it means is that people will now stay forever in their posts.
It also means no target. Stay enjoy yourself, have fun because you dont know when u will be leaving.

For me, what this portends is the impetus to sack. There's gonna be retrenchment of workers as he did give that as one of the conditions for salary increment. With the suspension of this policy, no one can challenge govt in court if sacked. A 40yr old civil servant can get sacked and nothing will happen. likewise, someone who has spent just 10 yrs in service can get sacked with no hiccups. My thought, though.

debawilliam1:
I would like to be informed if FRSC law allows its Officer to be parked on side streets stopping vehicles. This created a little conflict when i was stopped by an officer of the FRSC and i told the officer that the road they were on is a side street, not even a major road. i had the opinion that they were supposed to be on federal roads. But the officer lied and said the Law allows they to patrol Federal and state roads. I would love to have clarification on this.
Thanks

yeye dey worry u!

What is the most suitable engine oil for my Honda baby boy 2002 as the AZ engine oil I use reduces too much over a short journey? Engine doesn't smoke

Seriously!!!!!