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Some years back in NIGERIA JAMB QUESTIONS 2018 1. Animals that eat money are called... A. Carnivores. B. Omnivores. C. Monivores. D. Herbivores. . 2. What is the natural habitat for naira-eating snakes? A. Aquatic B. Jamb headquarters C. Terrestrial D. Forest . 3. The process by which a snake swallows money is called... A. Phagocytosis B. Engulfing C. Pinocytosis D. Embezzlement. . UTME 2018, leaked... ............... Maths The probability of x snake swallowing 36million naira is y. Find x. English Fill in the blank ....... A snake swallowed 36million. a)could it be true? b) it could be true? c) true it could be? Biology Sketch the dorsoventral view of the snake capable of swallowing 36million naira... Physics Calculate the escape velocity with which a snake swallowed 36million Naira and disappeared unnoticed... take speed of light (8x10*9km/s) Chemistry What is the molar mass of 36million Naira...? Economics A snake worth 36million Naira define its opportunity cost. Geography Where on earth can we find the snake that swallowed our 36million Naira? Best of luck... ......... Anyhow, I love Nigeria. We can never fail to amuse ourselves. |
1. When men say women are evil I just
laugh. What do you expect from the only
creature that met the devil one on one? 2.Not all marriages start with "will you marry me?" Some start with "I am pregnant." 3. It's only in Africa that people don't rest. Even after death, they still work as Ancestors or gods, busy eating kola nuts and demanding schnapps and fowls. 4. Actors and Actresses kiss each other for like 10 seasons and don't fall in love, but this girl just clicked "like" on your picture and you have been thinking about it for days. My Brother, whatever is wrong with you, we all don't know...But we will pray for you. 5. Stupidity is when you have headache and instead of buying Paracetamol, you use the money to buy airtime and log onto Facebook to post "Feeling headache" with 57 others, just to get comments like "Get well soon, Sorry dear " Your foolishness is beyond repair. 6. People say falling in love is d best feeling, but I think finding a toilet when you have a running stomach is truly the best feeling. 7. Don't say money changed them. You didn't text them when they were broke REMEMBER 8. As she returns from the valentine break, my brother give her at least three months before you do anything with her. Except you're ready to father somebody's child. 9. My Sister, when your boyfriend's main girlfriend sends you a text that reads "please leave my man alone" tell her to attach a copy of her marriage certificate and a testament of him saying he wants to be left alone. 10. I thought I knew English until l heard my neighbour explaining difference between Email and Gmail. Email is a mail sent by electricity. Gmail is a mail sent by generator. |
Tonight a page would turn and a new chapter would begin, one that would send you so far into the world. And because of this, you would dress in the most revealing gown. Precious, your roommate would give to you. The one that would frame your beautiful figure, full beasts, narrow waist and tapering legs. Precious would give you a sultry smile, telling you how the dress fits perfectly. Precious.....who was already used to this life. Precious.....who would sleep with lecturers just to pass a course . Precious.......who had sex rush, who couldn't keep her legs closed for a week. Thoughts of how you ended up with her would cloud your mind but you would shove it away and look into the mirror. When you look into the mirror, your mouth will hang open and you will gasp at the girl in the mirror. This wasn't you, this you know. The girl in the mirror has a seductive look. "Ash*wo!" The gate man would spit at the sight of you. Raining insults, mumbling something indifferently and giving his head a few shakes. You will flinch as if you'd been slapped in the face by an invisible hand. Fire would burn your cheeks, and you would lower your gaze away from his stare, and then wished you hadn't worn the "show me your back" dress. They didn't warn you about things like this when they told you to give what you had in order to get what you wanted. But you needed this money desperately. The school portal would be closed by the weekend and still you hadn't paid your fees. Your parents couldn't afford it, neither had the few persons you'd asked given it to you. Precious had introduced you to someone she called "Big daddy". Someone she said, money was at his Beck and Call. But still, you wondered why he didn't just give you the money without wanting to meet you in an hotel. At the hotel, Big daddy would settle his heavy body on top of yours. His chest flattening your breasts. He would raise himself to pull your dress above your waist but you would hesitate. Making him smile and give you a wink. The gate man's word...."Ash*wo".....would float around in your head now. Ash*wo. Prostitute. Cheap. The words would make it difficult to breathe, the same way it was difficult to breathe when you wore the tight fitting dress. You will tremble when he enters you, breaking the seal between your legs. You had promised to stay Virgin until your wedding night but circumstances had made you do otherwise. You would close your eyes as tears will sear them, blurring everything but the horrific thing on top of you....an image you knew would haunt your nightmares forever. A low moan will tear from your throat as he would thrust harder and harder. A solitary tear will stream down your cheeks at the thought of what your parents would think of you. But you had to do it anyway. You would stare at the huge amount of money he gives you. A pile of eighty thousand naira, something you had never held in all your lifetime. You will blink and thought of how cruel the world was. No one wanted rendering any kind of help without wanting something in return. The next morning in your room, you would stare at a figure in the mirror. The girl you once knew wasn't the one staring back at you. It was written all over your face. You weren't a virgin anymore |
Yeah, you saw that right The long Awaited ANIME is here and ongoing |
Theogony: Clash of Titans In the beginning, there was nothing but Chaos... Darkness covered everything. Until, the Earth was born out of Chaos and so did the mountains, the sea and the sky (Uranus) with the sun, the moon and the stars. Shortly after, Uranus and Earth came together and gave birth to the Titans. But, Uranus was afraid that one of his children would usurp his throne. So, he enclosed every one of them in the depths of the Earth. But his son, Cronus , the strongest of them all, defeated him and became the world leader. He married Rhea who gave birth to 2 gods and 3 goddesses: Hades, Poseidon, Hera, Hestia and Demeter. But unfortunately, Cronus inherited the fear of his father; one of his children could snatch the throne from him. So when they were born, he swallowed them! Worried, Rhea who was expecting her sixth child, gave birth secretly on a mountain in Crete knowing well that if this child were to be in Cronus's sight, he would serve the same fate. She named him Zeus and convinced Cronus that he had swallowed him as well by giving him a stone, swaddling clothes which Cronus mistook for his newborn and swallowed it. The Nymphs took care of Zeus. They fed him with the milk of a goat. When he grew up, Zeus found his father and tricked him into drinking a mixture of mustard and wine. This made him disgorge his stomach's contents and out came his older siblings fully grown! This is how the great titanomachy began, the war between the Titans and the Gods, with Zeus as their leader. This titanic battle lasted for ten years. The gods defeated the Titans and threw them into Tartarus, a dark and gloomy place as far from the earth as earth is from the sky. Then the gods fought with the Giants for the dominance of the world. The Gigantomachy lasted a long time as well. But the gods were again victorious. Thus, Zeus became the ruler of the whole world and he and the other gods settled in Olympus. |
[green]sir............. Ha omg[/color] |
sir............. Ha omg |
sir............. Ha omg |
DannyWalker:Please can I share this story I promise to copy write it |
Hi devilpen Please if l may ask can I share your story |
Mide1data |
Do you know why i hate the Lion King song 'i just can't wait to be king' When you take a closer look at the movie, it could be called 'I just can't wait for my dad to be killed in a stampede' |
The other day she asked me to pass her the Lipstick but i accidentally gave her the Glue stick. She's still not talking to me ! . |
A blind woman told her boyfriend "i am seeing someone"
It's either Terrible News or Great News |
Mide1data:I felt like i got some magical thing in my body going on i would have like to elaborate more on that but that's a topic on its own! |
Mide1data:his grandfather while sleeping probably dead with people screaming in the car involve an an auto accident |
"The first time i called myself a 'witch' was the most magical moment of my life" |
Mide1data:your guess is right |
I don't need an unstable relationship to teach me the evils about broken promises. I have parents for that! |
When i grow I want die peacefully like my grandfather in his sleep Not screaming like the passengers in his car. |
I started crying when dad was cutting onions. Onions was such a good dog ! |
Mide1data:Haha |
Mide1data:Yeah |
Mide1data:He will burn to death |
Mide1data:Yes |
Mide1data:No the son wasn't holding the ladder when he asked. So technically, he fell down to the ground because the ladder wasn't balanced and the son wasn't there to support the ladder! |
When we were kids we used to be afraid of the dark But when we grew up The electricity bill now make us afraid of the light ! ! |
My girlfriend broke up with me I stole her wheelchair Guess who came crawling back!! |
A murderer was being executed when the executor asked him "any last request" "yes" the murderer on a electric chair said "please hold my hand" |
My great grandfather words to me before he kicked the bucket : "Hey son, watch how far i can kick this bucket!" |
Give a man a plane ticket he will fly for the day Push him down at 3,000 feets, he will fly for the rest of his life. |
Give a man a match and he will be warm for some few hours. Burn him up with fire, he will be warm for the rest of his life. |