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Phones / Re: Iphone Xr Or Redmi Note 12 Pro? It's Urgent! by Onechester: 10:12am On Jan 20 |
Redmi Note 12 pro will be a good choice 1 Like |
Foreign Affairs / US, UN Urge Pak, Iran To Show Restraint Amid Rising Middle East Tensions by Onechester: 10:43pm On Jan 18 |
Pakistan launched strikes on separatist militants inside Iran on Thursday, in a retaliatory attack two days after Tehran said it struck the bases of another group within Pakistani territory. Washington DC: U.S. President Joe Biden said on Thursday that the clashes between Iran and Pakistan this week show that Iran is not well- liked in the region as the White House said it does not want to see an escalation. Pakistan launched strikes on separatist militants inside Iran on Thursday, in a retaliatory attack two days after Tehran said it struck the bases of another group within Pakistani territory. "As you can see Iran is not particularly well liked in the region and where that goes, we're working on now. I don't know where that goes," Biden said. The United States has been locked in a test of wills with Iran over its support for Houthi rebels in Yemen who have been launching attacks against commercial shipping in the Red Sea. White House national security spokesperson John Kirby told reporters on Air Force One as Biden flew to North Carolina that Washington is monitoring the Iran-Pakistan clashes closely. "We don't want to see an escalation clearly in South and Central Asia. And we're in touch with our Pakistani counterparts," Kirby said. Kirby said the attack on Pakistan was another example of Iran's destabilizing behavior in the region. https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/biden-says-pakistan-strikes-show-iran-not-well-liked-in-region-4889009 |
Foreign Affairs / US, UN Urge Pak, Iran To Show Restraint Amid Rising Middle East Tensions by Onechester: 10:36pm On Jan 18 |
The Secretary-General is deeply concerned about the recent exchange of military strikes between Iran and Pakistan, the UN spokesperson said. Washington: The United Nations and the United States appealed for restraint on Thursday after Iran and Pakistan traded deadly air strikes on militant targets on each other's territory. The rare military action across the porous border between the heavily armed neighbours has further stoked tensions already enflamed by the Israel-Hamas war. Pakistan's strikes against militant targets in Iran early on Thursday came two days after similar Iranian strikes on its territory, and prompted Tehran to summon Islamabad's envoy. At least nine people were killed in the strikes in restive Sistan-Baluchistan province, most of them women or children, Iran's official IRNA news agency reported. They came after Iran carried out raids on what it described as "terrorist" targets in Pakistan on Tuesday, killing at least two children. While Iran and nuclear-armed Pakistan often accuse each other of allowing militants to operate from the other's territory, cross-border operations by government forces have been rare. UN chief Antonio Guterres called on the two governments to "exercise maximum restraint". "The secretary general is deeply concerned about the recent exchange of military strikes between Iran and Pakistan, which have reportedly caused casualties on both sides," his spokesman Stephane Dujarric said. White House National Security Council spokesman John Kirby said the United States was monitoring the situation "very, very closely" and was in touch with Pakistani officials. "These are two well-armed nations and again we don't want to see an escalation," Kirby told reporters. US State Department spokesperson Matthew Miller echoed his comments. "We don't believe this should escalate in any way, shape or form. Pakistan is a major non- NATO ally of the United States, that will remain the case, but we would urge restraint in this case." Kirby said he was "not aware" that Islamabad had notified Washington before striking Iran. He would not comment when asked if the United States would provide support for Pakistan. Pakistan's foreign ministry described Thursday's raids as a "series of highly coordinated and specifically targeted precision military strikes against terrorist hideouts" in Sistan-Baluchistan. The strikes took place at around 4:30 am (0100 GMT), with three drones destroying four houses in a village near the city of Saravan, IRNA said, citing Alireza Marhamati, deputy governor of the province. Iranian media carried images showing severely damaged homes, with one video showing people gathered around a crater. All of those killed were Pakistanis, and investigations were under way to determine why they were in the Iranian village, Marhamati said. The raids targeted Baluch separatists, according to the Pakistani army. The military has been waging a decades-long fight against separatist groups in its sparsely populated border region. - 'Spiral of violence' - Iran condemned the action, and summoned Pakistan's charge d'affaires "to protest and request an explanation from the Pakistani government", foreign ministry spokesman Nasser Kanani said. The ministry described Pakistan's strikes as "unbalanced and unacceptable", and said Iran expects Pakistan "to adhere to its obligations in preventing the establishment of bases and armed terrorist groups in Pakistan". Jihadist group Jaish al-Adl (Army of Justice) has carried out repeated deadly attacks on Iranian security forces in recent months, and Tehran has long alleged that it operates out of rear bases across the border. Pakistan delivered a strong rebuke to Iran over its strikes, recalling its ambassador from Tehran and blocking Iran's envoy from returning to Islamabad. China offered to mediate between the neighbours, both close economic partners of Beijing. The European Union expressed concern about the "spiral of violence in the Middle East and beyond". - Restive province - Rising Iran-Pakistan tensions add to multiple crises in the region, with Israel waging a war against Hamas in Gaza and Huthi rebels in Yemen attacking commercial vessels in the Red Sea. Meanwhile Afghanistan -- which borders both Iran and Pakistan, and is home to a small Baluch minority -- said the violence between its neighbours was "alarming" and urged them to "exercise restraint". On Thursday, Pakistan's foreign ministry said Prime Minister Anwar-ul-Haq Kakar would cut short his visit to the World Economic Forum in Davos, Switzerland, "in view of the ongoing developments". Hours before the strike, Kakar had met Iran's foreign minister on the sidelines of the forum and posed for photographs. Sistan-Baluchistan province is one of the few mainly Sunni Muslim provinces in Shiite- dominated Iran and has seen persistent unrest involving cross-border drug-smuggling gangs and rebels from the Baluchi ethnic minority as well as jihadists. https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/as-tensions-rise-in-middle-east-un-us-urge-maximum-restraint-by-iran-pakistan-4889347 |
Foreign Affairs / Re: Amazon Employee Fired After He Complained About Lifting Heavy Boxes On Tiktok by Onechester: 10:29pm On Jan 18 |
Foreign Affairs / Amazon Employee Fired After He Complained About Lifting Heavy Boxes On Tiktok by Onechester: 10:28pm On Jan 18 |
The video in question was posted on
December 6 where he said that he worked an
extra shift and was given the job of a picker at
Amazon warehouse. Amid several tech layoffs, a seven-year Amazon employee said that he was fired from the company after he complained about having to pick up heavy boxes and orders in several videos posted on TikTok, according to a report in the New York Post. Kendall, the former employee, who goes by the username, @thatamazonguyy, shared behind-the-scenes videos about working at the tech giant. In one of the videos, he revealed that the company fired him because of his complaints. He has over 35,000 followers on the video-sharing platform. In the video, he said, "Hi guys, I have some bad news. Uh, Amazon done fired my dumb***. Seven long years down the drain just like that," he said. Kendall added, "Long story short, I made a video about four weeks ago where I told people to stop buying heavy items from Amazon because, as an Amazon worker, I'm tired of lifting heavy items." He continued by explaining that while most people thought the clip was funny, however, certain people did not relate to it. "Most people took it as a joke, especially if you work at Amazon, you knew that I was kind of overexaggerating ... but a lot of people were offended by my video," he said. "If you were offended by that video, I am sorry. I never meant to offend anyone or discriminate against anyone. I just wanted to make a funny video. I'm not just saying that. I already lost my job and am ineligible for rehire, so please forgive me," he concluded. The video in question was posted on December 6 where he said that he worked an extra shift and was given the job of a picker at Amazon warehouse. "Tell me why every other item I picked was either Fiji water or f****** dog food? I don't know who needs to hear this, but stop buying water at Amazon," he said. "Are you telling me you're out of water, you go on Amazon, and you wait two to three business days to get your f****** water, bro? What are you drinking in the meantime? Take your lazy a- to the store and buy water there like normal people do. The next time I'm picking and I see some water, I'm going to replace your Fiji water with Aquafina," Kendall added in the video. He even made jokes about what he would do to exact revenge on careless consumers, calling for compassion for workers like "the 50-year-old lady who has to grab the dog food from the top |
Foreign Affairs / Iraqi Leader Dismisses US Efforts In Middle East by Onechester: 5:12pm On Jan 18 |
DAVOS, Switzerland — Iraq’s prime minister scoffed Thursday at U.S. efforts to rein in Israel’s military campaign against Hamas and lay out long-term plans for a more peaceful Middle East, noting that Israeli leaders aren’t onboard. In comments at the World Economic Forum, Mohammed Shia’ Al Sudani dismissed in particular Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s more hopeful earlier remarks about how the crisis playing out in the Gaza Strip could be a chance to get back on track for a two-state solution to the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Blinken, who was in Davos on Tuesday and Wednesday, also stressed that doing so should involve broader efforts at improving Israel’s ties with Arab countries that have long shunned it. “That is nothing new, what Mr. Blinken has said. Everybody has said the same thing, basically,” Al Sudani said during a session moderated by POLITICO Global Editor-in-Chief John Harris. “What is being said by Blinken is refused by the Israeli government. Even the post-war scenario is refused from the Israelis.” “The international community has failed,” the Iraqi leader added. “The International organizations have failed. The international institutions have failed in this unjustifiable, unacceptable death that is unraveling before us in Gaza.” The remarks underscored the obstacles and skepticism the United States faces in the Middle East as it tries to rally countries to help it find a way out of the Israel-Hamas fight and broader regional tensions. Washington is trying to keep the battle from expanding into a full-blown regional war, but it’s also urging Israelis and Palestinians to start planning for post-war scenarios. That includes the critical question of who will govern Gaza, the scene of much of the fighting and which was long controlled by the militants of Hamas. Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has resisted U.S. plans that call for a reformed Palestinian Authority to eventually take over Gaza. The Palestinian Authority governs in parts of the West Bank, but Netanyahu has long viewed it as an unacceptable partner. Since Hamas militants attacked Israel on October 7, killing 1,200 people, the Israeli military response has killed more than 22,000 in Gaza, while displacing hundreds of thousands. Iraq is among the countries affected by the fallout from the crisis. That’s largely because of its ties to Iran, a major backer of Hamas and other militant groups in the region. U.S. forces based in Iraq have come under fire from Iranian-backed militias, and have responded in kind. The U.S. carried out a recent drone strike that killed an Iranian-backed militia leader in Baghdad . That has led Iraq’s government to say it is looking at ending the U.S. military presence on its soil, which, as part of an international coalition, has helped Baghdad battle the Islamic State militant group. Al Sudani insisted that at some point the U.S.- led coalition had to wrap up its role in his country. “The sooner we withdraw the coalition, it is a necessity for the stability, the security of Iraq,” he said, speaking through a translator. https://www.politico.eu/article/iraqi-leader-dismisses-us-efforts-in-middle-east/ |
Nairaland / General / This Will Leave You In Suspense by Onechester: 11:51am On Jan 18 |
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress
1846.
John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in
1946.
Abraham Lincoln was elected President in
1860.
John F. Kennedy was elected President in
1960.
Both were particularly concerned with civil
rights.
Both their wives lost a child while living in
the White House.
Both Presidents were shot on a Friday.
Both Presidents were shot in the head.
Now it gets really weird.
Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy.
Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln.
Both were assassinated by Southerners.
Both were succeeded by Southerners
The successors of both Presidents are
named Johnson.
Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln,
was born in 1808.
Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy,
was born in 1908.
John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated
Lincoln, was born in 1839.
Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated
Kennedy, was born in 1939.
Both assassins were known by their three
names.
Both names are composed of fifteen letters.
Now hang on to your seat.
Lincoln was shot at the theater named
"Ford."
Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln"
made by "Ford."
Booth and Oswald were assassinated before
their trials.
And here's the "kicker":
A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in
Monroe, Maryland.
A week before Kennedy was shot, he was
with Marilyn Monroe.
AND...................:
Lincoln was shot in a theater and the
assassin ran to a warehouse...
Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and
the assassin ran to a theatre... 1 Like 1 Share |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:34am On Jan 18 |
Set your Wi-Fi password as
2444666668888888, when your friend asks
just tell them it's 12345678 |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:33am On Jan 18 |
Lobatan is when your boyfriend wants you to
meet his family and on getting there...
* the elder brother is your ex...
* the sister is the lady you just fought with
over a man...
* the mother is the nurse who begged you
not to abort your 6th pregnancy but you
did...
* the father is the sugar daddy who just
bought you Samsung Galaxy 8 |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:32am On Jan 18 |
How can you date three guys at a time and
say you love them. Is your heart extension
socket?? |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:26am On Jan 18 |
A Little Boy in a family Was Ordered To Pray
before they could go to sleep for the Night!
Boy: I Don't Know How To Pray.....!
Dad: Just Pray For Every Thing You Know
about The Family And Our Neighbours.
Boy: Mummy, Please, Tell Daddy I Can't
Pray!
Mummy:: Shut Up, If You Don't Pray You'll
Not Eat Food In this House!
Boy: Dad, Tell Sister To Pray Please...!
Dad: My son, Pray Before I Slap You Hard
Now!
Boy: "Dear Lord....." He Started.....!
"Thank You Oh God For Our Visitors And
Their Children Who always Come Here To
Eat Our Food, Don't Let Them Finish All Our
Food for we shall be Hungry! From Today
Father, Any Boy Who Beats Or Slaps Me In
School, Help Me To Slap Them Back!
Forgive Our Driver Who I Always See Naked
With My Sister Wrestling On The Bed! Help
my sister to fight back before the driver can
make her grow round! Forgive my elder
brother who doesn't sleep at home
regularly!
Please, Provide Clothes To All The Naked
Ladies On My Daddy's
Phone and don't let them drain my father's
salary! Give my Daddy courage to buy for us
good things as he always do to Aunty our
house girl! Again Lord Don't Let Our House
Girl Put Her Mouth Inside My Daddy's Mouth
Again!
Please, Provide Shelter For All The Men
Who Sleep In Mum's Room Anytime Dad
Travels. Forgive me wherever I have asked
wrongly!
In Jesus Name I pray.....!"
Nobody said AMEN!!
Every Body Regretted Ever Forcing Him To
Pray... |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:25am On Jan 18 |
f Ade likes the sun does that make him
Sunny Ade. |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:24am On Jan 18 |
When Nigerians are planning wedding you'll
see colours like...
Satan black
Angel Gabriel blue
Heavenly gold
Orange fanta
Vampire red
Onion purple
Corn yellow
Nigerian green
African brown
Cockroach brown
Jollof orange
Custard yellow
Sunrise yellow |
Foreign Affairs / Re: Senate Soundly Rejects Push To Scrutinize Israel Aid by Onechester: 9:51am On Jan 17 |
Foreign Affairs / Senate Soundly Rejects Push To Scrutinize Israel Aid by Onechester: 9:51am On Jan 17 |
US senators have defeated a measure,
introduced by Bernie Sanders , that
would have made military aid to Israel
conditional on whether the Israeli
government is violating human rights
and international accords in its
devastating war in Gaza.
A majority of senators struck down the
proposal on Tuesday evening, with 72
voting to kill the measure, and 11
supporting it. Although Sanders’ effort
was easily defeated, it was a notable test
that reflected growing unease among
Democrats over US support for Israel.
The measure was a first-of-its-kind
tapping into a decades-old law that
would require the US state department
to, within 30 days, produce a report on
whether the Israeli war effort in Gaza is
violating human rights and
international accords. If the
administration failed to do so, US
military aid to Israel, long assured
without question, could be quickly
halted.
It is one of several that progressives
have proposed to raise concerns over
Israel’s attacks on Gaza, where the
Palestinian death toll has surpassed
24,000 and Israel’s bombardment since
Hamas launched attacks on it on 7
October has displaced most of Gaza’s
2.4 million residents. “We must ensure that US aid is being used in accordance with human rights and our own laws,” Sanders said in a speech before the vote urging support for the resolution, lamenting what he described as the Senate’s failure to consider any measure looking at the war’s effect on civilians. The White House had said it opposed the resolution. The US gives Israel $3.8bn in security assistance each year, ranging from fighter jets to powerful bombs that could destroy Hamas tunnels. Biden has asked Congress to approve an additional $14bn. The measure that Sanders proposed uses a mechanism in the Foreign Assistance Act of 1961, which Congress to provide oversight of US military assistance, that must be used in accordance with international human rights agreements. The measure faced an uphill battle. Both Democrats and Republicans in Congress oppose any conditions on aid to Israel, and Joe Biden has staunchly stood by Israel throughout its campaign in Gaza, leaving Sanders with an uphill battle. But by forcing senators to vote on the record about whether they were willing to condition aid to Israel, Sanders and others lawmakers sparked debate on the matter. The 11 senators who supported Sanders in the procedural vote were mostly Democrats from across the party’s spectrum. Some lawmakers have increasingly pushed to place conditions on aid to Israel, which has drawn international criticism for its offensive in Gaza. “To my mind, Israel has the absolute right to defend itself from Hamas’s barbaric terrorist attack on October 7, no question about that,” Sanders told the Associated Press in an interview ahead of the vote. “But what Israel does not have a right to do – using military assistance from the United States – does not have the right to go to war against the entire Palestinian people,” said Sanders. “And in my view, that’s what has been happening.” Amid anti-war protests across the US, progressive representatives including Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar, Barbara Lee and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have called for a ceasefire. In a letter to the US president, many of these lawmakers stressed that thousands of children had been killed in the Israeli bombings. |
Crime / Army Launches Operations Against Criminals In Ondo by Onechester: 8:24am On Jan 17 |
Nigerian Army has stated its resolve to flush out kidnappers, armed robbers and other criminal elements from Ondo State, ahead of Yuletide. Commander of the 32nd Artillery Brigade in the state, Brig-Gen. Muktar Adamu, disclosed this while flagging off a field training exercise, codenamed Exercise Still Water III. in Owo, headquarters of the Owo Council. Adamu, who was represented by the Garrison Commander, Col. Jibril Garba, explained that the exercise was designed to checkmate all forms of crime as the Yuletide season approaches and to simulate tactical operations. He said: “The exercise will further identify criminal hideouts and project activities to clear kidnappers, armed robbers, drug peddlers, bandits, and cultists, among others, in the Area of Responsibility (AOR). “I, therefore, call on all criminal elements operating in the 32 Artillery Brigade area of responsibility to desist from their nefarious activities or face the full wrath of the law.” Adamu appealed to other security agencies, traditional rulers, and community leaders to assist the military with relevant and credible information about security concerns in order to make the state safe. Governor Oluwarotimi Akeredolu, who commended security agencies in the state for their activities, said the government would continue to support the Nigerian Army and others. Akeredolu, who was represented by his Special Adviser, Adetunji Adeleye, said the synergy between security agencies and the state had been yielding the desired results... Link ::: https://guardian.ng/news/army-launches-operations-against-criminals-in-ondo/ |
Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 8:00am On Jan 17 |
Pinicop: Yeah, now that I look at it again....... 1 Like |
Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 8:00am On Jan 17 |
Pinicop: Ok 1 Like |
Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 7:45am On Jan 17 |
[quote author=Pinicop post=127980989][/quote]Ok |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:43am On Jan 17 |
This is how you cross roads in Nigeria.
Look left and right for moving vehicles, south
for militants, east for boko haram, sideways
for kidnappers, down for buried juju/black
magic, up for assasins and finally, cross the
road in a zigzag motion to dodge moving
bullets.
And if bullets still knock you down, the
witches of your village must have used your
name to compose national anthem. |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:42am On Jan 17 |
Sola's teacher called him a dummy and a
waste of space and conception. She always
found a way to make him feel bad because
he was dull.
One day, Sola's grandma came to school to
find out how her grandson was doing in his
studies and the teacher told her frankly that
her grandson was the dullest person she has
ever encountered. She advised Sola's
grandma to enroll him under artisan. Sola's
grandma was heartbroken, she quickly
withdrew him from the school and migrated
to Maiduguri.
25 years later...
The teacher grew sick and need surgery. It
turned out that the only doctor qualified to
perform the operation resided in Maiduguri.
The teacher decided to go for the operation
and luckily for her, the operation turned out
to be a success. When she woke up, she
found a young doctor smiling down at her.
Soon, she began to struggle and choke,
fighting for her life. She tried to say
something but couldn't because she was
finding it hard to breathe. She gave up the
ghost and died.
It was found out that it was our dear Sola -
now working as a cleaner in the hospital -
who had unplugged the life machine to
charge his phone.
Wait! Wait! Wait!!!!! Please don't tell me that
you thought that Sola became a doctor. Sola
no know book be say Sola no know book
{Sola is dull means that Sola is dull}. This is
not a Nollywood movie.
Sola? Doctor? Okay o |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:41am On Jan 17 |
A man bought a new car. A black Lexus. He
decided to take the car to work to show it
off to his friends. He arrived at work, parked
his car and was about come out when a
trailer drove by and tore the door out of its
hinges. The man was mortified, he yelled at
the driver, asking him to fix his car.
A passerby stared at him with disgust
written on his face. "You're busy yelling for
a car that got ruined that you didn't even
realise that your hand was ripped off."
The man stared at his hand and his eyed
widened in shock. "My Rolex watch! My
Rolex watch was on that hand. |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:40am On Jan 17 |
An Igbo man opened a zoo and made the
gate fee #2,000, but no one came. He
reduced the gate fee to #1,500 and still, no
one came. He decided to make the gate fee
free and soon, the place was packed.
He shut the gates, released the lions and
made the exit fee #25,000. |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:40am On Jan 17 |
When a White (American) baby falls,
Parents: Oh My Word!!!! Princess are you
okay? I'm so sorry you fell....
When a Black (Nigerian) baby falls:
Parent: No look am! No look am or even tell
am sorry so hin no go cry.
translation: Don't look at him! Don't look at
him or even tell him sorry, so he'll not cry. |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:39am On Jan 17 |
A guy met Ndidi around GbomoGbomo
estate and decided to pay her a visit.
Here's how she gave direction to her house:
Guy: Sweetie, how do I locate your house?
Ndidi: When you get to GbomoGbomo
estate, look for house 3d and with your
ELBOW, push the door, come inside and
you'll find the elevator on the right. With
your Elbow, hit room 14. When you get out
of the elevator, you'll find my apartment on
the left and with your ELBOW, hit my door
bell and I'll open the door for you.
Guy: That sounds easy to find but why
should I hit all these buttons with my elbow?
Ndidi: Oh my gosh!!! Are you ok?? Don't tell
me you want to visit me with empty hands.
Are you!!! |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:38am On Jan 17 |
Akpos was being discharged from a mental
hospital after the doctors thought he was
finally back to normal. He was put in an
ambulance to be taken back home. He
claimed he knew the house, so he led the
doctors. They took him to were he claimed
he lived.
Just as the approached a certain house, two
kids dressed in uniforms came out of the
house. Akpos screamed, "Those are my kids
going to school."
A minute later, a woman came out of the
house and Akpos screamed, "That's my
wife, she's late for work!"
This time, the doctors were convinced
Akpos was ok and took him out of the
ambulance but still in chains. Just as they
were about unlocking the chains, a man
came out of the house and Akpos
screamed, "YES, THAT'S ME GOING TO
WORK." |
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:36am On Jan 17 |
Me: Daddy, I'm going to Emeka's house.
Dad: Is Emeka sick?
Me: No o.
Dad: So Emeka cannot come to your own
house abi? Oya get inside before I open my
eyes. |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:33am On Jan 17 |
I discovered something terrible with my
neighbour. He was very sick and called a
witch doctor to come to his house. The
witch doctor said his case was critical and
he could not be cured, but the sickness can
be transferred to another person. My
neighbour accepted.
The witch doctor worked on him and told
him "as I am leaving, if anyone opens the
door, you must shout 'tchaa' and this person
will die in your place."
The wutch doctor left and my neighbour was
waiting for the first unlucky person, so as to
say 'tchaa' and transfer his sickness and be
cured.
But the witch doctor discovered that he
didn't collect any money from my neighbour,
so he decided to risk it all and go back. As
soon as he opened the door, my neighbour
shouted 'tchaa,' the witch doctor shouted
'retchaa,' my neighbour shouted 'reretchaa'
the witch doctor shouted 'rereretchaa.' As I
am telling you now, the entire neighborhood
are watching how the two are in
'rererererererere tchaaa," competition... |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:32am On Jan 17 |
Uche: Mummy, I'm going to Wole's house.
Mom: There's no fuel in the car.
Uche: But mummy, I'm walking there.
Mom: If you get missing, is it not the fuel in
the car we'll use to look for you? |
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:31am On Jan 17 |
An accident occurred today, 12 people were
injured and 11 died. The minister of health
promised to offer N5000 to the injured and
N6million to the dead for their funeral.
All of a sudden, one of the injured got up
and moved towards where the dead people
were.
Immediately, one of the dead people
whispered to him; "Bros, go back to your
place, don't bring confusion here, they have
already counted us." |
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