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Phones / Re: Iphone Xr Or Redmi Note 12 Pro? It's Urgent! by Onechester: 10:12am On Jan 20
Redmi Note 12 pro will be a good choice

1 Like

Foreign Affairs / US, UN Urge Pak, Iran To Show Restraint Amid Rising Middle East Tensions by Onechester: 10:43pm On Jan 18
Pakistan launched strikes on separatist
militants inside Iran on Thursday, in a
retaliatory attack two days after Tehran said it
struck the bases of another group within
Pakistani territory.

Washington DC: U.S. President Joe Biden said on
Thursday that the clashes between Iran and
Pakistan this week show that Iran is not well-
liked in the region as the White House said it
does not want to see an escalation.
Pakistan launched strikes on separatist
militants inside Iran on Thursday, in a
retaliatory attack two days after Tehran said it
struck the bases of another group within
Pakistani territory.
"As you can see Iran is not particularly well
liked in the region and where that goes, we're
working on now. I don't know where that
goes," Biden said.
The United States has been locked in a test of
wills with Iran over its support for Houthi
rebels in Yemen who have been launching
attacks against commercial shipping in the
Red Sea.
White House national security spokesperson
John Kirby told reporters on Air Force One as
Biden flew to North Carolina that Washington
is monitoring the Iran-Pakistan clashes
closely.
"We don't want to see an escalation clearly in
South and Central Asia. And we're in touch
with our Pakistani counterparts," Kirby said.
Kirby said the attack on Pakistan was another
example of Iran's destabilizing behavior in the
region.

https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/biden-says-pakistan-strikes-show-iran-not-well-liked-in-region-4889009
Foreign Affairs / US, UN Urge Pak, Iran To Show Restraint Amid Rising Middle East Tensions by Onechester: 10:36pm On Jan 18
The Secretary-General is deeply concerned
about the recent exchange of military strikes
between Iran and Pakistan, the UN
spokesperson said.
Washington: The United Nations and the
United States appealed for restraint on
Thursday after Iran and Pakistan traded
deadly air strikes on militant targets on each
other's territory.
The rare military action across the porous
border between the heavily armed neighbours
has further stoked tensions already enflamed
by the Israel-Hamas war.
Pakistan's strikes against militant targets in
Iran early on Thursday came two days after
similar Iranian strikes on its territory, and
prompted Tehran to summon Islamabad's
envoy.
At least nine people were killed in the strikes
in restive Sistan-Baluchistan province, most of
them women or children, Iran's official IRNA
news agency reported.
They came after Iran carried out raids on what
it described as "terrorist" targets in Pakistan
on Tuesday, killing at least two children.
While Iran and nuclear-armed Pakistan often
accuse each other of allowing militants to
operate from the other's territory, cross-border
operations by government forces have been
rare.
UN chief Antonio Guterres called on the two
governments to "exercise maximum restraint".
"The secretary general is deeply concerned
about the recent exchange of military strikes
between Iran and Pakistan, which have
reportedly caused casualties on both sides,"
his spokesman Stephane Dujarric said.
White House National Security Council
spokesman John Kirby said the United States
was monitoring the situation "very, very
closely" and was in touch with Pakistani
officials.
"These are two well-armed nations and again
we don't want to see an escalation," Kirby
told reporters.
US State Department spokesperson Matthew
Miller echoed his comments.
"We don't believe this should escalate in any
way, shape or form. Pakistan is a major non-
NATO ally of the United States, that will
remain the case, but we would urge restraint
in this case."
Kirby said he was "not aware" that Islamabad
had notified Washington before striking Iran.
He would not comment when asked if the
United States would provide support for
Pakistan.
Pakistan's foreign ministry described
Thursday's raids as a "series of highly
coordinated and specifically targeted precision
military strikes against terrorist hideouts" in
Sistan-Baluchistan.
The strikes took place at around 4:30 am
(0100 GMT), with three drones destroying four
houses in a village near the city of Saravan,
IRNA said, citing Alireza Marhamati, deputy
governor of the province.
Iranian media carried images showing severely
damaged homes, with one video showing
people gathered around a crater.
All of those killed were Pakistanis, and
investigations were under way to determine
why they were in the Iranian village,
Marhamati said.
The raids targeted Baluch separatists,
according to the Pakistani army. The military
has been waging a decades-long fight against
separatist groups in its sparsely populated
border region.
- 'Spiral of violence' -
Iran condemned the action, and summoned
Pakistan's charge d'affaires "to protest and
request an explanation from the Pakistani
government", foreign ministry spokesman
Nasser Kanani said.
The ministry described Pakistan's strikes as
"unbalanced and unacceptable", and said Iran
expects Pakistan "to adhere to its obligations
in preventing the establishment of bases and
armed terrorist groups in Pakistan".
Jihadist group Jaish al-Adl (Army of Justice)
has carried out repeated deadly attacks on
Iranian security forces in recent months, and
Tehran has long alleged that it operates out of
rear bases across the border.
Pakistan delivered a strong rebuke to Iran over
its strikes, recalling its ambassador from
Tehran and blocking Iran's envoy from
returning to Islamabad.
China offered to mediate between the
neighbours, both close economic partners of
Beijing.
The European Union expressed concern about
the "spiral of violence in the Middle East and
beyond".
- Restive province -
Rising Iran-Pakistan tensions add to multiple
crises in the region, with Israel waging a war
against Hamas in Gaza and Huthi rebels in
Yemen attacking commercial vessels in the
Red Sea.
Meanwhile Afghanistan -- which borders both
Iran and Pakistan, and is home to a small
Baluch minority -- said the violence between
its neighbours was "alarming" and urged them
to "exercise restraint".
On Thursday, Pakistan's foreign ministry said
Prime Minister Anwar-ul-Haq Kakar would cut
short his visit to the World Economic Forum in
Davos, Switzerland, "in view of the ongoing
developments".
Hours before the strike, Kakar had met Iran's
foreign minister on the sidelines of the forum
and posed for photographs.
Sistan-Baluchistan province is one of the few
mainly Sunni Muslim provinces in Shiite-
dominated Iran and has seen persistent unrest
involving cross-border drug-smuggling gangs
and rebels from the Baluchi ethnic minority as
well as jihadists.

https://www.ndtv.com/world-news/as-tensions-rise-in-middle-east-un-us-urge-maximum-restraint-by-iran-pakistan-4889347
Foreign Affairs / Re: Amazon Employee Fired After He Complained About Lifting Heavy Boxes On Tiktok by Onechester: 10:29pm On Jan 18
Foreign Affairs / Amazon Employee Fired After He Complained About Lifting Heavy Boxes On Tiktok by Onechester: 10:28pm On Jan 18
The video in question was posted on December 6 where he said that he worked an extra shift and was given the job of a picker at Amazon warehouse.
Amid several tech layoffs, a seven-year Amazon employee said that he was fired from the company after he complained about having to pick up heavy boxes and orders in several videos posted on TikTok, according to a report in the New York Post. Kendall, the former employee, who goes by the username, @thatamazonguyy, shared behind-the-scenes videos about working at the tech giant. In one of the videos, he revealed that the company fired him because of his complaints. He has over 35,000 followers on the video-sharing platform. In the video, he said, "Hi guys, I have some bad news. Uh, Amazon done fired my dumb***. Seven long years down the drain just like that," he said. Kendall added, "Long story short, I made a video about four weeks ago where I told people to stop buying heavy items from Amazon because, as an Amazon worker, I'm tired of lifting heavy items." He continued by explaining that while most people thought the clip was funny, however, certain people did not relate to it. "Most people took it as a joke, especially if you work at Amazon, you knew that I was kind of overexaggerating ... but a lot of people were offended by my video," he said. "If you were offended by that video, I am sorry. I never meant to offend anyone or discriminate against anyone. I just wanted to make a funny video. I'm not just saying that. I already lost my job and am ineligible for rehire, so please forgive me," he concluded. The video in question was posted on December 6 where he said that he worked an extra shift and was given the job of a picker at Amazon warehouse. "Tell me why every other item I picked was either Fiji water or f****** dog food? I don't know who needs to hear this, but stop buying water at Amazon," he said. "Are you telling me you're out of water, you go on Amazon, and you wait two to three business days to get your f****** water, bro? What are you drinking in the meantime? Take your lazy a- to the store and buy water there like normal people do. The next time I'm picking and I see some water, I'm going to replace your Fiji water with Aquafina," Kendall added in the video. He even made jokes about what he would do to exact revenge on careless consumers, calling for compassion for workers like "the 50-year-old lady who has to grab the dog food from the top
Foreign Affairs / Iraqi Leader Dismisses US Efforts In Middle East by Onechester: 5:12pm On Jan 18
DAVOS, Switzerland — Iraq’s prime minister
scoffed Thursday at U.S. efforts to rein in Israel’s
military campaign against Hamas and lay out
long-term plans for a more peaceful Middle East,
noting that Israeli leaders aren’t onboard.
In comments at the World Economic Forum,
Mohammed Shia’ Al Sudani dismissed in
particular Secretary of State Antony Blinken’s
more hopeful earlier remarks about how the crisis
playing out in the Gaza Strip could be a chance
to get back on track for a two-state solution to
the Israeli-Palestinian conflict. Blinken, who was
in Davos on Tuesday and Wednesday, also
stressed that doing so should involve broader
efforts at improving Israel’s ties with Arab
countries that have long shunned it.
“That is nothing new, what Mr. Blinken has said.
Everybody has said the same thing, basically,” Al
Sudani said during a session moderated by
POLITICO Global Editor-in-Chief John Harris.
“What is being said by Blinken is refused by the
Israeli government. Even the post-war scenario is
refused from the Israelis.”
“The international community has failed,” the
Iraqi leader added. “The International
organizations have failed. The international
institutions have failed in this unjustifiable,
unacceptable death that is unraveling before us
in Gaza.”
The remarks underscored the obstacles and
skepticism the United States faces in the Middle
East as it tries to rally countries to help it find a
way out of the Israel-Hamas fight and broader
regional tensions.
Washington is trying to keep the battle from
expanding into a full-blown regional war, but it’s
also urging Israelis and Palestinians to start
planning for post-war scenarios. That includes
the critical question of who will govern Gaza, the
scene of much of the fighting and which was
long controlled by the militants of Hamas.
Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu has
resisted U.S. plans that call for a reformed
Palestinian Authority to eventually take over
Gaza. The Palestinian Authority governs in parts
of the West Bank, but Netanyahu has long
viewed it as an unacceptable partner.
Since Hamas militants attacked Israel on October
7, killing 1,200 people, the Israeli military
response has killed more than 22,000 in Gaza,
while displacing hundreds of thousands.
Iraq is among the countries affected by the
fallout from the crisis. That’s largely because of
its ties to Iran, a major backer of Hamas and
other militant groups in the region.
U.S. forces based in Iraq have come under fire
from Iranian-backed militias, and have
responded in kind. The U.S. carried out a recent
drone strike that killed an Iranian-backed militia
leader in Baghdad .
That has led Iraq’s government to say it is
looking at ending the U.S. military presence on
its soil, which, as part of an international
coalition, has helped Baghdad battle the Islamic
State militant group.
Al Sudani insisted that at some point the U.S.-
led coalition had to wrap up its role in his
country.
“The sooner we withdraw the coalition, it is a
necessity for the stability, the security of Iraq,”
he said, speaking through a translator.

https://www.politico.eu/article/iraqi-leader-dismisses-us-efforts-in-middle-east/
Nairaland / General / This Will Leave You In Suspense by Onechester: 11:51am On Jan 18
Abraham Lincoln was elected to Congress 1846. John F. Kennedy was elected to Congress in 1946. Abraham Lincoln was elected President in 1860. John F. Kennedy was elected President in 1960. Both were particularly concerned with civil rights. Both their wives lost a child while living in the White House. Both Presidents were shot on a Friday. Both Presidents were shot in the head. Now it gets really weird. Lincoln's secretary was named Kennedy. Kennedy's Secretary was named Lincoln. Both were assassinated by Southerners. Both were succeeded by Southerners The successors of both Presidents are named Johnson. Andrew Johnson, who succeeded Lincoln, was born in 1808. Lyndon Johnson, who succeeded Kennedy, was born in 1908. John Wilkes Booth, who assassinated Lincoln, was born in 1839. Lee Harvey Oswald, who assassinated Kennedy, was born in 1939. Both assassins were known by their three names. Both names are composed of fifteen letters. Now hang on to your seat. Lincoln was shot at the theater named "Ford." Kennedy was shot in a car called "Lincoln" made by "Ford." Booth and Oswald were assassinated before their trials. And here's the "kicker": A week before Lincoln was shot, he was in Monroe, Maryland. A week before Kennedy was shot, he was with Marilyn Monroe. AND...................: Lincoln was shot in a theater and the assassin ran to a warehouse... Kennedy was shot from a warehouse and the assassin ran to a theatre...

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Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:34am On Jan 18
Set your Wi-Fi password as 2444666668888888, when your friend asks just tell them it's 12345678
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:33am On Jan 18
Lobatan is when your boyfriend wants you to meet his family and on getting there... * the elder brother is your ex... * the sister is the lady you just fought with over a man... * the mother is the nurse who begged you not to abort your 6th pregnancy but you did... * the father is the sugar daddy who just bought you Samsung Galaxy 8
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:32am On Jan 18
How can you date three guys at a time and say you love them. Is your heart extension socket??
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:26am On Jan 18
A Little Boy in a family Was Ordered To Pray before they could go to sleep for the Night! Boy: I Don't Know How To Pray.....! Dad: Just Pray For Every Thing You Know about The Family And Our Neighbours. Boy: Mummy, Please, Tell Daddy I Can't Pray! Mummy:: Shut Up, If You Don't Pray You'll Not Eat Food In this House! Boy: Dad, Tell Sister To Pray Please...! Dad: My son, Pray Before I Slap You Hard Now! Boy: "Dear Lord....." He Started.....! "Thank You Oh God For Our Visitors And Their Children Who always Come Here To Eat Our Food, Don't Let Them Finish All Our Food for we shall be Hungry! From Today Father, Any Boy Who Beats Or Slaps Me In School, Help Me To Slap Them Back! Forgive Our Driver Who I Always See Naked With My Sister Wrestling On The Bed! Help my sister to fight back before the driver can make her grow round! Forgive my elder brother who doesn't sleep at home regularly! Please, Provide Clothes To All The Naked Ladies On My Daddy's Phone and don't let them drain my father's salary! Give my Daddy courage to buy for us good things as he always do to Aunty our house girl! Again Lord Don't Let Our House Girl Put Her Mouth Inside My Daddy's Mouth Again! Please, Provide Shelter For All The Men Who Sleep In Mum's Room Anytime Dad Travels. Forgive me wherever I have asked wrongly! In Jesus Name I pray.....!" Nobody said AMEN!! Every Body Regretted Ever Forcing Him To Pray...
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:25am On Jan 18
f Ade likes the sun does that make him Sunny Ade.
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 11:24am On Jan 18
When Nigerians are planning wedding you'll see colours like... Satan black Angel Gabriel blue Heavenly gold Orange fanta Vampire red Onion purple Corn yellow Nigerian green African brown Cockroach brown Jollof orange Custard yellow Sunrise yellow
Foreign Affairs / Re: Senate Soundly Rejects Push To Scrutinize Israel Aid by Onechester: 9:51am On Jan 17
Foreign Affairs / Senate Soundly Rejects Push To Scrutinize Israel Aid by Onechester: 9:51am On Jan 17
US senators have defeated a measure, introduced by Bernie Sanders , that would have made military aid to Israel conditional on whether the Israeli government is violating human rights and international accords in its devastating war in Gaza. A majority of senators struck down the proposal on Tuesday evening, with 72 voting to kill the measure, and 11 supporting it. Although Sanders’ effort was easily defeated, it was a notable test that reflected growing unease among Democrats over US support for Israel. The measure was a first-of-its-kind tapping into a decades-old law that would require the US state department to, within 30 days, produce a report on whether the Israeli war effort in Gaza is violating human rights and international accords. If the administration failed to do so, US military aid to Israel, long assured without question, could be quickly halted. It is one of several that progressives have proposed to raise concerns over Israel’s attacks on Gaza, where the Palestinian death toll has surpassed 24,000 and Israel’s bombardment since Hamas launched attacks on it on 7 October has displaced most of Gaza’s 2.4 million residents.
“We must ensure that US aid is being used in accordance with human rights and our own laws,” Sanders said in a speech before the vote urging support for the resolution, lamenting what he described as the Senate’s failure to consider any measure looking at the war’s effect on civilians. The White House had said it opposed the resolution. The US gives Israel $3.8bn in security assistance each year, ranging from fighter jets to powerful bombs that could destroy Hamas tunnels. Biden has asked Congress to approve an additional $14bn. The measure that Sanders proposed uses a mechanism in the Foreign Assistance Act of 1961, which Congress to provide oversight of US military assistance, that must be used in accordance with international human rights agreements. The measure faced an uphill battle. Both Democrats and Republicans in Congress oppose any conditions on aid to Israel, and Joe Biden has staunchly stood by Israel throughout its campaign in Gaza, leaving Sanders with an uphill battle. But by forcing senators to vote on the record about whether they were willing to condition aid to Israel, Sanders and others lawmakers sparked debate on the matter. The 11 senators who supported Sanders in the procedural vote were mostly Democrats from across the party’s spectrum. Some lawmakers have increasingly pushed to place conditions on aid to Israel, which has drawn international criticism for its offensive in Gaza. “To my mind, Israel has the absolute right to defend itself from Hamas’s barbaric terrorist attack on October 7, no question about that,” Sanders told the Associated Press in an interview ahead of the vote. “But what Israel does not have a right to do – using military assistance from the United States – does not have the right to go to war against the entire Palestinian people,” said Sanders. “And in my view, that’s what has been happening.” Amid anti-war protests across the US, progressive representatives including Rashida Tlaib, Ilhan Omar, Barbara Lee and Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez have called for a ceasefire. In a letter to the US president, many of these lawmakers stressed that thousands of children had been killed in the Israeli bombings.
Crime / Army Launches Operations Against Criminals In Ondo by Onechester: 8:24am On Jan 17
Nigerian Army has stated its resolve to
flush out kidnappers, armed robbers
and other criminal elements from
Ondo State, ahead of Yuletide.
Commander of the 32nd Artillery
Brigade in the state, Brig-Gen. Muktar
Adamu, disclosed this while flagging
off a field training exercise,
codenamed Exercise Still Water III. in
Owo, headquarters of the Owo Council.
Adamu, who was represented by the
Garrison Commander, Col. Jibril
Garba, explained that the exercise was
designed to checkmate all forms of
crime as the Yuletide season
approaches and to simulate tactical
operations.
He said: “The exercise will further
identify criminal hideouts and project
activities to clear kidnappers, armed
robbers, drug peddlers, bandits, and
cultists, among others, in the Area of
Responsibility (AOR).
“I, therefore, call on all criminal
elements operating in the 32 Artillery
Brigade area of responsibility to desist
from their nefarious activities or face
the full wrath of the law.”
Adamu appealed to other security
agencies, traditional rulers, and
community leaders to assist the
military with relevant and credible
information about security concerns
in order to make the state safe.
Governor Oluwarotimi Akeredolu, who
commended security agencies in the
state for their activities, said the
government would continue to support
the Nigerian Army and others.
Akeredolu, who was represented by his
Special Adviser, Adetunji Adeleye, said
the synergy between security agencies
and the state had been yielding the
desired results...

Link ::: https://guardian.ng/news/army-launches-operations-against-criminals-in-ondo/
Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 8:00am On Jan 17
Pinicop:


I initially queried whoever mentioned the tribe of the suspects, even if it was the original writer of the article.

Both the reporter and the editor who worked on the article are bigots and incompetents

Yeah, now that I look at it again.......

1 Like

Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 8:00am On Jan 17
Pinicop:


I initially queried whoever mentioned the tribe of the suspects, even if it was the original writer of the article.

Both the reporter and the editor who worked on the article are bigots and incompetents

Ok

1 Like

Crime / Re: Man arrested for planning to sell son for N20m by Onechester: 7:45am On Jan 17
[quote author=Pinicop post=127980989][/quote]Ok
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:43am On Jan 17
This is how you cross roads in Nigeria. Look left and right for moving vehicles, south for militants, east for boko haram, sideways for kidnappers, down for buried juju/black magic, up for assasins and finally, cross the road in a zigzag motion to dodge moving bullets. And if bullets still knock you down, the witches of your village must have used your name to compose national anthem.
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:42am On Jan 17
Sola's teacher called him a dummy and a waste of space and conception. She always found a way to make him feel bad because he was dull. One day, Sola's grandma came to school to find out how her grandson was doing in his studies and the teacher told her frankly that her grandson was the dullest person she has ever encountered. She advised Sola's grandma to enroll him under artisan. Sola's grandma was heartbroken, she quickly withdrew him from the school and migrated to Maiduguri. 25 years later... The teacher grew sick and need surgery. It turned out that the only doctor qualified to perform the operation resided in Maiduguri. The teacher decided to go for the operation and luckily for her, the operation turned out to be a success. When she woke up, she found a young doctor smiling down at her. Soon, she began to struggle and choke, fighting for her life. She tried to say something but couldn't because she was finding it hard to breathe. She gave up the ghost and died. It was found out that it was our dear Sola - now working as a cleaner in the hospital - who had unplugged the life machine to charge his phone. Wait! Wait! Wait!!!!! Please don't tell me that you thought that Sola became a doctor. Sola no know book be say Sola no know book {Sola is dull means that Sola is dull}. This is not a Nollywood movie. Sola? Doctor? Okay o
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:41am On Jan 17
A man bought a new car. A black Lexus. He decided to take the car to work to show it off to his friends. He arrived at work, parked his car and was about come out when a trailer drove by and tore the door out of its hinges. The man was mortified, he yelled at the driver, asking him to fix his car. A passerby stared at him with disgust written on his face. "You're busy yelling for a car that got ruined that you didn't even realise that your hand was ripped off." The man stared at his hand and his eyed widened in shock. "My Rolex watch! My Rolex watch was on that hand.
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:40am On Jan 17
An Igbo man opened a zoo and made the gate fee #2,000, but no one came. He reduced the gate fee to #1,500 and still, no one came. He decided to make the gate fee free and soon, the place was packed. He shut the gates, released the lions and made the exit fee #25,000.
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:40am On Jan 17
When a White (American) baby falls, Parents: Oh My Word!!!! Princess are you okay? I'm so sorry you fell.... When a Black (Nigerian) baby falls: Parent: No look am! No look am or even tell am sorry so hin no go cry. translation: Don't look at him! Don't look at him or even tell him sorry, so he'll not cry.
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:39am On Jan 17
A guy met Ndidi around GbomoGbomo estate and decided to pay her a visit. Here's how she gave direction to her house: Guy: Sweetie, how do I locate your house? Ndidi: When you get to GbomoGbomo estate, look for house 3d and with your ELBOW, push the door, come inside and you'll find the elevator on the right. With your Elbow, hit room 14. When you get out of the elevator, you'll find my apartment on the left and with your ELBOW, hit my door bell and I'll open the door for you. Guy: That sounds easy to find but why should I hit all these buttons with my elbow? Ndidi: Oh my gosh!!! Are you ok?? Don't tell me you want to visit me with empty hands. Are you!!!
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:38am On Jan 17
Akpos was being discharged from a mental hospital after the doctors thought he was finally back to normal. He was put in an ambulance to be taken back home. He claimed he knew the house, so he led the doctors. They took him to were he claimed he lived. Just as the approached a certain house, two kids dressed in uniforms came out of the house. Akpos screamed, "Those are my kids going to school." A minute later, a woman came out of the house and Akpos screamed, "That's my wife, she's late for work!" This time, the doctors were convinced Akpos was ok and took him out of the ambulance but still in chains. Just as they were about unlocking the chains, a man came out of the house and Akpos screamed, "YES, THAT'S ME GOING TO WORK."
Jokes Etc / Re: La Kill,,,La boredom ::::: UPDATES EVERYDAY by Onechester: 7:36am On Jan 17
Me: Daddy, I'm going to Emeka's house. Dad: Is Emeka sick? Me: No o. Dad: So Emeka cannot come to your own house abi? Oya get inside before I open my eyes.
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:33am On Jan 17
I discovered something terrible with my neighbour. He was very sick and called a witch doctor to come to his house. The witch doctor said his case was critical and he could not be cured, but the sickness can be transferred to another person. My neighbour accepted. The witch doctor worked on him and told him "as I am leaving, if anyone opens the door, you must shout 'tchaa' and this person will die in your place." The wutch doctor left and my neighbour was waiting for the first unlucky person, so as to say 'tchaa' and transfer his sickness and be cured. But the witch doctor discovered that he didn't collect any money from my neighbour, so he decided to risk it all and go back. As soon as he opened the door, my neighbour shouted 'tchaa,' the witch doctor shouted 'retchaa,' my neighbour shouted 'reretchaa' the witch doctor shouted 'rereretchaa.' As I am telling you now, the entire neighborhood are watching how the two are in 'rererererererere tchaaa," competition...
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:32am On Jan 17
Uche: Mummy, I'm going to Wole's house. Mom: There's no fuel in the car. Uche: But mummy, I'm walking there. Mom: If you get missing, is it not the fuel in the car we'll use to look for you?
Jokes Etc / Re: Don't Dull Yourself ::: Come And Read Your Sorrow Away ;;; Updates Ëveryday by Onechester: 7:31am On Jan 17
An accident occurred today, 12 people were injured and 11 died. The minister of health promised to offer N5000 to the injured and N6million to the dead for their funeral. All of a sudden, one of the injured got up and moved towards where the dead people were. Immediately, one of the dead people whispered to him; "Bros, go back to your place, don't bring confusion here, they have already counted us."

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