₦airaland Forum

Thanks a bunch, I'll recheck the other VIN.

Nice job men. Can you pls help check this VIN JS3TD62V144105210 and also 1YFP80C355M56786.

Thanks

A Mother had 3 virgin daughters.
They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.

The first girl sent a card from Hawaii two days after the wedding. The card said nothing but: "Nescafe"!
Mom was puzzled at first, but then went to her kitchen and got out the Nescafe jar.

It said: "Good till the last drop”. Mom blushed, but was pleased for her daughter.

The second girl sent the card from Vermont a week after the wedding, and the card read: "Rothmans"
Mom now knew to go straight to her husband's cigarettes, and she read from the pack: "Extra long. King Size"
She was again slightly embarrassed but still happy for her daughter.

The third girl left for her honeymoon in Cape Town. Mom waited for a week, nothing. Another week went by and still nothing. Then after a whole month, a card finally arrived.
Written on it with shaky handwriting were the words "South African Airways"

Mom took out her latest YOU magazine, flipped through the pages fearing the worst, and finally found the ad for SAA.
The ad said: "Ten times a day, seven days a week, both ways."

Mom fainted!

Did anyone notice that the two 2007 camry pictures are of different vehicles. They are both white but pls look at the wheels and tell me my eyes are deceiving me. Its difficult to notice but one is an alloy rim while the other (the first picture) are wheel covers. I smell a big rat. Caveat emptor.

1. It's important to have a woman who helps at home, who cooks from time to time, cleans up and has a job.
 
2. It's important to have a woman who can make you laugh.
 
3. It's important to have a woman who you can trust and who doesn't  lie to you.
 
4. It's important to have a woman who is good in bed and who likes to be with you.
 
5. It's most important that these four women do not know each other.

Height of desperation ………….
a Vampire sucking a used tampon
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Fear
Having sex with a pregnant woman……, wozongonza kaoko kabata mboro
nechemukati!!!
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of patience….
Naked woman lying down with her legs apart under a banana tree.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of frustration ….
A boxer trying to scratch his balls.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Innocence…,
A teenage girl, applying Clearasil to her nipples
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Unemployment ….
Cobwebs in the hole of a prostitute
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Laziness ….
A guy lying on a girl and waiting for an earthquake to do the rest.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of competition ………,
A guy peeing beside a waterfall
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Sophistication …………,
Sucking nipples with a straw.
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Technology …….
A condom with a zip
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Trouble …,
A one handed man hanging from a cliff and his ass is itching
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Vanity…,
Climaxing and calling out your own name
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Height of Boredom …. You reading this and passing it

av seen d cavalier i think i still prefer d corolla

any code before d 816 or i dial it straight as it is

'm in lagos

'm in lagos

'm in lagos

i am interested in this car. so what do i need to do but 'm really interested.

can you send me the list of properties you have, the prices and the repayment terms. My email is osculate_2000@yahoo.co.uk

1. We can tell just about everything we need to know about a brother by looking at his shoe.
2. Women like wild and crazy men for dating purposes because they are exciting and unpredictable. But when it comes to time to choose "The one" we don't want tempestuous, temperamental and tattoos; we want responsible, reliable abd real. (See we are not so different from you after all.)
3. A surprise weekend at a romantic bed and breakfast is to a woman what state box seats at the National stadium are to a man.
4. No means no! No matter how badly you were hoping/wishing/expecting it would be yes.
5. As a rule we know when you are lying.
6. We always know when you are sneaking looks at:
(a) another woman
(b) our breast and/or
(c) our butt.
It doesn't matter how shrewd or swift the glance.
7. Nothing saya 'I love you' like thoughtful unsolicited gifts on days that aren't "special" - anniversaries, birthdays, christmas, valentine's day. Extra credit if they are personal enough to show that you'vereally been paying attention to us (e.g. A bouquet of our favorite flowers. In our favorite color. Arranged in ouyr favorite vase.
8. Our job is just as streesful/serious/significant as yours.
9. Nonjudgemental, uninterrupted listening to our hopes/dreams/fears/insecurities, even if it's for the one thousandth time, makes us feel we are the center of your universe. Where we belong.
10. One lie spoils a thousand truths. Once discovererd, it will be stored in long-term memory for later retrieval.
11. There is no such thing as too many shoes.
12. Ditto the perfect little back dress.
13. Sometimes the earth doesn't move. And no, you're not going to be able to tell when it doesn't.
14. We take birthdays and anniversarries seriously. Forgeting requires serious justification ("My mother had to have emergency surgery", explanation ("The doctor asked me not to leave the floor even long enough to make a phone call" and amends ("But i got you a little something from Tiffany's that i hope you'll like"
15. Pillow talk is special, sacred and, above all, secret. Repeating it to anyone is grounds for a breakup.
16. A womans trust is a catacomb, not a blackboard. Betrayals are not erased; they are only filed away in our mind and heart-permanently and in the best circumstance deeply.
17. There are certain weekend date destinations that never go out of style. The mountains and the beach. A tropical island. A suite at the Ritz. Your place cleaned/equiped/arrayed to look like a suite at the Ritz. ( Think fresh flowers, scented candles, rose petals scattered atop freshly laundered sheets.)
18. A great haircut can give us a new lease on life. A bad one is not to be trivialized, minimized or joked about.
19. Chronic lying, unemployment and/or unexplained disappearances are automatic dealbreakers.
20. Forget the destination-for us, it's all about the journey.

na real wa wa wa

sorryho can someoneinho kindlyinho explainho whatinho is goinginho on, on this threadinho

Here comes the answers.

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last? 116 years[/color]
2) Which country makes Panama hats? Ecuador[color=#990000]
3) From which animal do we get cat gut? Sheep and Horses[/color]
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October revolution?November[color=#990000]
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of? Squirrel fur[/color]
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what animal?  Dogs[color=#990000]
7) What was King George VI's first name? Albert.[/color]
What color is a purple finch? Crimson.[color=#990000]
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from? New Zealand.[color=#990000][/color]

you r welcome

S/E P1i
S/E W880i

Please try again.

THESE ARE ENTRIES TO A WASHINGTON POST COMPETITION ASKING FOR A RHYME
>> WITH THE MOST ROMANTIC FIRST LINE, BUT THE LEAST ROMANTIC SECOND LINE:
>>
>> Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss
>> But I only slept with you, because I was pissed
>>
>>
>> I thought that I could love no other
>> Until, that is, I met your brother
>>
>>
>> Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet and so are you
>> But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl's empty
>> and so is your head
>>
>>
>> Of loving beauty you float with grace
>> If only you could hide your face
>>
>>
>> Kind, intelligent, loving and hot
>> This describes everything you are not
>>
>>
>> I want to feel your sweet embrace
>> But don't take that paper bag off your face
>>
>>
>> I love your smile, your face, and your eyes
>> Damn I'm good at telling lies
>>
>>
>> My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife
>> Marrying you screwed up my life
>>
>>
>> I see your face when I am dreaming
>> That's why I always wake up screaming
>>
>>
>> My love, you take my breath away
>> What have you stepped in to smell this way
>>
>>
>> My feelings for you no words can tell
>> Except for maybe "go to hell"
>>
>>
>> What inspired this amorous rhyme?
>> Two parts vodka, one part lime

Think you're a genius? Take the below quiz. Passing requires
4 correct answers.

1) How long did the Hundred Years War last?
2) Which country makes Panama hats?
3) From which animal do we get cat-gut?
4) In which month do Russians celebrate the October Revolution?
5) What is a camel's hair brush made of?
6) The Canary Islands in the Pacific are named after what
animal?
7) What was King George VI's first name?
What color is a purple finch?
9) Where are Chinese gooseberries from?

Answers will come after some replies. Lets c how far we get.

A man dies & goes to hell. There he finds that there is a different
hell for each country and decides he'll pick the least painful to spend his eternity.
He goes to Germany hell & asks, "what do they do here?".
He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. Then the German devil comes in and whips you for the rest of the day". The man does not like the sound of that at all so he moves on. He checks out the USA hell as well as the Russian hell and many more. He discovers that they are all similar to the German hell.
Then he comes to the Nigerian hell and finds that there is a long line of people waiting to get in, Amazed, he asks, "what do they do here?" He is told "first they put you in an electric chair for an hour, then they lay you on a bed of nails for another hour. The Nigerian devil comes in & whips you for the rest of the day." But that is exactly the same as all the other hells why are there so many people waiting to get in?" ask the man.
"Because there in never any electricity so the electric chair does not work. Someone stole the nails so the bed is comfortable to sleep on and the Nigerian devil used to be a public servant, so he comes in, punches his time card and goes back home for private business."

do we bid ere or there's special address we send d bids to?

the game of golf must be quite an interesting and sometimes challenging game.

THREE NUNS DIED AND WERE HEADING TO HEAVEN.
THEY WERE STOPPED AT THE GATE BY SAINT PETER
WHO ASKED THEM THIS QUESTION, BEFORE ALLOWING
THEM TO ENTER. TO THE FIRST NUN HE SAID ''DID YOU
GET IN TOUCH WITH THE MALE ORGAN WHILE ON EARTH''?.
SHE SAID YES. WHERE? ASKED SAINT PETER, IN MY HANDS
SHE REPLIED. THEN GO TO THAT BASIN WASH YOUR HANDS
IN THE WATER AND GO IN. BEFORE HE COULD ASK THE SECOND
NUN THE SAME QUESTION, THE THIRD NUN SHOLVED HER ASIDE
AND STARTED LAPPING THE WATER IN HER MOUTH. SURPRISED
ST. PETER ASKED, ''WHY DID YOU GO BEFORE HER?.
THE THIRD NUN REPLIED '' IF YOU THINK I WILL PUT THAT WATER
INTO MY MOUTH AFTER ALLOWING HER TO WASH HER ASS IN IT
YOU ARE JOKING.

fake pre-intimacy??

Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a great big smile on his face. Dave says,
"John, what are you so happy for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya, Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and a redhead came up to me, boobies out to here, Dave, boobies out to here! She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
I said 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. I turned off the key and I said 'It's either screw or swim!'
She couldn't swim, Dave. She couldn't swim!"

The next day Dave walks into a bar and sees John sitting at the end of the bar counter with a bigger smile on his face.
Dave says,"What are you happy about today John?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya, Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat and a BEAUTIFUL blond came up to me, boobies out to here, Dave. Boobies out to here! She said 'Can I have a ride in your boat?'
I told her 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.' So I took her way out, Dave. Way out much further than the last one. I turned off the key and I said, 'It's either screw or swim!' She couldn't swim, Dave! She couldn't swim!"

A couple days pass and Dave walks into a bar and sees John down there crying over a beer. Dave says, "John, what are you so sad for?"
"Well Dave, I gotta tell ya, Yesterday I was out waxin' my boat, just waxin' my boat, and the most desirable brunette came up to me, boobies WAY out to here, Dave. Boobies WAY out to here.
I had more wood than my boat does. She says, 'Can I have a ride in your boat?' So I said, 'Sure you can have a ride in my boat.'
So I took her way out, Dave, way, WAY out, much further than the last two. I turned off the key, and looked at her boobies and said
'It's either screw or swim!' She pulled down her pants and, She had a dick, Dave! She had this great BIG dick!

, and I can't swim Dave! I can't swim man!!!!!

The nude beach
Two parents take their son on a vacation and go to a nude beach. The father goes for a walk on the beach and the son goes and plays in the water.

The son comes running up to his mom and says, 'Mommy, I saw ladies with boobies a lot bigger than yours!'

The mom says, 'The bigger they are, the dumber they are.'

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, 'Mommy, I saw men with dingers a lot bigger than Daddy's!'

The mom says, 'The bigger they are, the dumber they are.'

So he goes back to play. Several minutes later he comes running back and says, 'Mommy, I just saw Daddy talking to the dumbest lady I ever saw and the more and more he talked, the dumber and dumber he got!'

The story of 2 swedes
Sven & Ole from Sweden
> Vun day, Sven vas valking down da street ven who did he see driving a
> brand new Chevrolet? It vas Ole. Ole pulled up to him vit a vide
smile.
> "Ole, vere did you get dat car?" Sven asked "Lena gave it to me."
> "She gave it to you? I knew she vas sveet on you, but dis?" "Vell, let

> me tell you vat happened. Ve vere driving out on County Road 6, in da
> middle of novere. Lena pulled off da road into da voods. She parked,
> got out of da car, trew off all her clothes and said 'Ole take vatever

> you vant.'
> "So I took da car."
> "Ole, you're a smart man! Dem clothes never voulda fit ya."