₦airaland Forum

Sunnyrado:
Tell am for Twitter

Oya come carry me go Twitter naa. I dey my house

Xavier0978:
Hey guys,

Please, I need your opinion on this issue. So I’ve known my girlfriend since NYSC 2019, and ever since then, we’ve been best of friends. I travelled out in 2022, but we still kept in touch and from there we started dating. I’m 29 and she’s also 29. Honestly, I have plans to settle down and marry her when things are right.

A quick note: she’s been trying to come over to meet me as a student ever since I got here, but for one reason or the other it hasn’t worked out (Canada visa rejections and all). Now, she’s talking about how she plans to settle down before her next birthday and even suggested that I marry her while she waits in Nigeria for a maximum of two years before joining me. She really just wants to get married.

To be honest, I currently work and I’m also doing another master’s program in a very reputable institution here in Canada, and I will be done this year. The stress of working and schooling is a lot, and my current workplace pays the barest minimum. I literally have nothing left after sorting out all my bills and expenses. I’m not financially ready to settle down right now, and I even gave her a timeline of two years. Worst case, no matter what, we’ll settle down in two years max. Let me try and fix things for myself here. I can’t marry and bring someone’s daughter here to come and suffer.

I’m a worried person. My dreams are really big and God knows I’m working tirelessly to achieve them. She also knows because I discuss everything with her. Honestly, I understand her point of view, but I’m the kind of person that gets really anxious easily. It would kill me to get married, have kids, and not be able to cater for them.

I know you can’t have everything financially before settling down, but I want at least a moderately stable job. One that allows me to take care of her confidently even if she comes over and doesn’t work immediately. To be honest, my job pay is very low, like unimaginably low, and I’m just barely surviving. I’ve pictured every possible scenario, thinking and planning ahead, but everything is pointing to one answer — I’m not ready.

Considering her age and the kind of person she is, I strongly believe that after marriage she will want kids and to start building a family. That’s not a bad thing, but I, as a man, don’t want to get stuck in that life yet because I know the kind of future I envision. I’ve always promised myself that I won’t raise a family on “manage-manage.” I feel like if I get married now and start raising a family, my focus will shift entirely to making sure they live well, which could make me lose track of my personal goals.

I swear, I know my girlfriend loves me. That’s not in doubt. But I’ve been pleading with her to give me at least two more years. If after that things are still not great, then we’ll settle down and manage until something better comes.

Right now, to be honest, I don’t even have anything financially to plan a small wedding, and I definitely won’t borrow or ask anyone for financial support to do a wedding.

Please, I want your honest opinion. The two options here are: either get married before this time next year or end the relationship now, as there are other people already asking for her hand in marriage.

I will go straight to the point ......love will fly through the window when financial pressure comes. If she can't wait for you to be stabilized financially, she can as well go. Make money first.
I hate to admit it but love is not enough.

I'm happy for you sir. Your marriage will last long but I will advise you keep your mouth shut, stay away from social media and enjoy your beautiful home.

uncleck:
Four reasons...

1. She married you because you were the available husband. The attraction was not really there. She might possibly be attracted to a guy next door...

2. Childbirth might have causes a hormonal change that makes her feel irritated when you touch her.

3. She's a lesbian or bisexual. She's more attracted to her gender....

4. You're weak. She doesn't rate you at all.

Add that he might not be financially capable to meet her needs.
The fastest way I lose my sexual urge is when I'm under financial pressure.
If rent is due, kids school fees not paid or no food in the house......don't just near me

MONEY247:
I was speaking with a lady colleague and she shared with me a story about her husband...
According to her she said she does everything, I mean everything for her husband...
From sexual needs to food to respect to whatever you can think of...to please him.

When she discovered/suspected he was cheating she went on to learn various sexual styles, even to the extent of watching pornography... just to make the bedroom game sweet for her husband....

This man still went ahead continuing the affair outside the marriage...
She threatened to leave the marriage and call it quits when he came back to his senses...
And became the family Man...
I can tell this woman is still beautiful, she keeps herself clean and classy....

My question is this, what makes a married man to commit adultery or cheat...
Just what...

If rich men cheat, it's understandable at least their spouses have been taken care of financially and materially but u see poor broke men cheating eeh......that one dey scatter my medulla oblongata

Sharpsharp00123:
law of diminishing returns

Another thing is that men are polygamous in nature

Another lie from the pit of hell.

Firebox123:
can you be his second wife

Why you come hate me like this naa
Second wife with 7 children in one room?

In my own case,, I didn't literally take a career break but rather I slowed down. I took up teaching job to enable me stay close to my children.
They are a bit grown now so I resigned from teaching and I'm heading back to the corporate job.
If you get better work for your organization, lemme know

Obavoh:
Since Bandits attacked my village last year, we had to abandon the 2 bedroom home that I built.

We have moved into the main town and I managed to rent a small but spacious room for my growing family.

The problem is that me, my wife and children all sleep in the same room now. This has affected the Romance between my wife and I.

The older children sleep on the floor and our last 2 babies sleep on the same bed with us. We demarcated the bed with a small curtain for privacy.

I have to make sure the children are asleep before I can touch my wife but I always feel the older children are light sleepers. Since we moved here I have not been successful in showing love to my wife.

Out of frustration, my wife and I started bathing together around 5a.m in the morning but the landlord warned me seriously and said such a thing is forbidden in his Gida so we stopped.

I work Monday to Sunday during the day so I only have night time to spend with my wife. I am losing my happiness.

I feel your pain sir, God will make a way.
I don't know about you but if I were in your shoes, the last thing on my mind would have been sex.

Lemme allow it run for 1 month. I will review in June whether to continue or opt out

Omoawoke:
Have some shame for your husband, olojukokoro

Shut up! This life is not that hard.
Enough of this up tightness

Still in the spirit of giving, I'm sure some of you have cars parked in your garage that you are not using, you can also gift me oo. Today na my birthday.
I don't want to be entering this Lagos rain again.
Chioma no fine pass me sef why my own different

Wait oo make I ask....shey na the same marriage all of us marry?
Life indeed no balance

Strength of a woman by Shaggy comes to mind.
We are indeed strong.
Kudos to all the mothers out there

Bobxin:
I saw something like this in the movie "The Beekeeper" don't you think stuffs like this happens in other countries?

My dear, we are blessed with natural resources and human resources. If both are well harnessed and utilized, our youths will be better off.
Other countries might not have what we have. Nigeria is blessed

Imagine me landing one of these job positions.
I know haters will say "For where, dey play"

OboOlora:

Poor people would come and condemn him now and say it's because the boy has started making money he has forgotten his family. They never reason deeply to know there might be more to his statement, their sentiments has eaten them so deep that they think in just one direction - in the direction of hate for the rich lol

I sight you rich babe

This is so heart breaking. What is the future of the future generation in this country?
It very easy to start arresting and arraigning these boys but what provision has the government made for them?

I'm condemning Yahoo business and every other illegal business the youths go into but I'm condemning MORE the heartless, useless politicians that have made life unbearable for the common man.

Nigerian politicians are wicked and evil

Firebox123:
why is the wife not having sex with her husband

Is sex not a right in marriage again

Sex with her husband ✅
Sex with husband and three other extra men❌❌❌❌❌❌

Firebox123:
which needful

Don't he pay her dowry to them

Just listen to yourself.
So because he paid her down, he should kill her?

The woman's brothers should do the NEEDFUL

Let's settle it here
Like for Traore led Military government and share for Bola Tinubu Led Democracy

Justice well served!
I feel for the kids but since they testified of the horror of watching their dad turn their mama to a punching bag, i guess they are better off without him.
No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, walk away while you can.
Don't let anyone( not even your pastor) guilt trap/ manipulate you into staying in a toxic relationship.

profet:
That's N500 naira in Lagos

You are wrong sir. It's actually #1,000. Some people sell 4 pieces for #1000

MisterKennedy:
Your chin chin looks so crispy. I for like chop am.

Thanks dear. You for like chop am after 4 months?
No wahala if I make another one, I go give you if you are in Lagos

Seun:
Hello Guys,

I'm throwing this question to you because it's very important. Every time I ask, "how is Nairaland?" I'm told that it is fine. If I ask what are the challenges I'm told there are none.

So I need to talk to you guys directly about what you think is going on and what you want us to do. I have not had the confidence to make major changes on Nairaland. I have a little confidence now because of AI.

What are your complaints, your challenges, your issues. What are the things that can drive people away and need to be nipped?

Speak your mind, but don't be rude. Thanks.

I remember when Nairaland was my to go
place but not anymore.
The gender based violence and abuse on women is alarming. Ponder on this,how many formerly active women did you still see here?
It's either they are calling women names, evening newspaper, hoe, farm tool and some other dehumanizing names or some morons are derailing interesting topic with their useless "if your wife is not a virgin.......

Secondly, activate direct DM instead of doing it via email. Some of us are using our official email that's why most times I don't accept emails from Nairalanders.

Thirdly activate block, delete buttons.

Finally the rubbish affirmation one must say to comment on Muslim post is arrant nonsense.
Sometimes I have something nice to say on the thread(all of us cannot to religious bigots) but of course you don't expect me to say that affirmation.
If you must keep the affirmation, do same on Christian threads. Failure to do that, Oga Sir, you are part of the problems of Nairaland.

Happy Palm Sunday!
Hosanna in the highest.
It was a great procession today in my neighborhood.
Roman Catholics were coming from one side and Anglicans were coming from the opposite direction. On getting together, there was great shout and jubilation, everyone hailing Jesus Christ as the king above all kings.
Jesus is the Alpha and the Omega. The one who is , who was and who is to come.
All Hail the Power of Jesus name

theorca:
Please I need advice. I’ve been working with Greenacy NGO for almost a year now. The pay is actually pretty good, which is nice. But honestly, the job can sometimes be overwhelming. My oyibo boss is super detail-oriented, and I have to double-check everything I do.

Now, I just got a job offer from the Nigerian Embassy here in Ghana (where I live). My friend already works there, and from what he says, it’s super chill. He barely goes to work, and when he does, he comes back early. If I take that job, I’ll have a lot more free time to focus on my personal hustle.

So should I continue with this NGO because of the good pay, or take the embassy job where I have more free time?

Follow your heart.
This life is funny, you want to come out of Greenacy and I want to go in.
I passed the first phase of their selection process and got an email this afternoon for the second phase.

The economy is biting hard.
Haven't you people heard of MULTIPLE STREAMS OF INCOME?