₦airaland Forum

sisisioge:
I don't know why people love to extend family beyond extended family sef! He had to invite his folks to his purported in-laws burial? He couldn't go alone? Whew! Abeg let him pack well. Whew!

When you get married, you will see how it is too.

What is annoying me though is that it is women who are being "traded" for bride price are the ones who ought to be speaking against the system, but instead, like Madam UjuJoan2 gave her husband wahala cos of minor things, is the women that are promoting and subtly forcing men to do it.

For me... Any woman who is lucky enough to see a man to marry her and the man is responsible enough to take care of the house and children, that is fair. All these unnecessary traditions are just rubbish.

Smartfix:
I don't think this website allows that sir.

Ah ah ... Why doesn't the site allow it? People upload thousands pictures and memes on the site everyday

.

kingvincenteze:
my problem is not about paying the dairy or settling the family and villages but after al this can I have a good family ? Can I hav a good food to eat ? Can I be respected from her can she listen to correction when she does one can she be obedient and after spending all this money can this marriega last or the money wil be a wasted one

You should not worry about the above. You are not paying the dowry again and doing traditional marriage for your wife... But for your children. Some of my female cousins got married on their mother side instead of father side because their fathers did not pay their mother's dowry... You wouldn't want that kind of embarrassment when your old, would you?

Your duty as a husband and father is to provide for your family as best as you can... build house, Put food on table, pay school fees and buy clothes for your children to wear. Anything more than that in this hard country is exra, you have tried your best ... no too give yourself headache whether your wife will change her attitude or not... Just focus on your business/work and giving your children the best education, you have tried.

kingvincenteze:
thank u oweniwe for ur post I left village at age of 12 to 13

No wonder... Small small, you go dey learn village people way again

kingvincenteze:
sisisioge: if I can read my text wel u wil see were I said , I wanted to go with my
villages poelp after the burial but the family of the girl as me
to stay back that they want to see me before I go back then I stay back and and have meeting with the and u wil also see what I said about the metting is after the metting I angryly come back in my base
poelp to go thank u

There's nothing wrong with what your wife family union people did. It is better they explain their side to you personally than if you attend the meeting with your people because it would be more embarrassing to you if your people are there. If your people are also present in the meeting, one of your Uncle's or old men can get angry and start exchanging words with your inlaws leading quarrel and that is not desirable. ... Remember the first time you wanted to pay 10k and your uncle started to argue you should pay 1k, quarrel and left... It's better they had the meeting with you alone.

But as e be say na village you grow up, i no understand why you no sabi all these things o. If you grow up in village as you claim, you for know how den dey handle these things nah

kingvincenteze:
thanks u chiommy for ur post as it stand now I have about 250k for the joney now , but my marriega is about 6years old with all this issues on ground do u Adivers me to go on with this marriega am afried the father later called me and beg me to forgive him what he said

I understand how you feel Nwannem. Na so e be for my village too. Na family union den dey pay bride price to, not to bride father. Maybe in your hurry to get married, for for the sake of the saick mother, you thought they would overlook it but those village people, they don't overlook any small thing. They don't joke with their share of anything.

I read your story with a little bit of smile and laughter... No vex say i dey laugh you o... Matters like that dey happen. E get one time my village quarter age group hold me force me cough out 8k during my grandma burial... They didn't listen to any story that i don't have cash on me. It was night. I said I'll go bank first thing the next day to settle them. They said if i delay pass the burial night i will have to pay 16k, that is their rule. I had to borrow on spot to settle them.

Your wife father called to apologize for denying you.... He tried... Please find space in your heart to forgive him and move on. 250k should be enough to take care of everything on low key (if you wife is from Delta State side o... If she is from across the niger, abeg hold on save like 800k no go chop another embarrassment again)

Just close your eyes, do the formalities through the family union and move on. You have the right to be angry by the way they publicly embarrassed you... Na village people way of doing things.. make you forget am. After paying the dowry to the family union and a small, low key traditional marriage, you will be free with them and they will be free with you.

sisisioge:
Thanks for the summary. Please look at the new posts to update

More like this...

There was a funeral service on his "wife's" side and he donated N40,000 to support the burial. Then he made arrangements with his family side to charter a bus to they can go attend the wife people burial. They took some gifts along (cartons of drinks i guess).

After presenting the gifts to the wife's family during the burial ceremony, someone from the wife's family picked the microphone and said they don't know who the O.P and his people are... That even though they claimed to have married their daughter, the o.p has not paid the dowry, nor has he done traditional marriage to wed their daughter. They now ask O.p if he has paid his wife's dowry ... O.P was dumfounded at first but he later told them he has paid... The wife's family asked who he paid the bride price to... O.P identified his wife father... But the man denied collecting dowry from the o.p. the o.p and his people were very embarrassed as all this took place right during the burial program. (The o.p is obviously igbo... Or igbo speaking Delta State parts... I suspect the Delta part cos the wife's grandfather's 7 wives.... Umu This-And -That-Family-Union. You will see great grandfather brother uncle and aunties talking and making demands as if they are your Lord)

So after the burial party, the o.p was called for a meeting with his wife's family union people. It was then that they explained their family union is large and then they queried the man who the o.p said he paid the dowry to if he really collected the money. The man admitted collecting N10,000 dowry from the o.p but he added that the money has been spent treating the wife's late mother in the hospital when she was sick.

The wife's family union then reached a conclusion that since the dowry was not "tabled to them" (O.p goofed by paying dowry to one man, even if the man is the wife's father, he has no right to collect the money alone. This is because dowry is shared among individual families in the family union. For example, if the bride's family union is made up of 7 families and o.p paid N10,000 ... The 10k will be shared X 7 = about N1,400 per family unit. Now in previous marriages within that family union, the man that collected O.P's dowry payment have been collecting his share from other family unit's dowry... They family units did traditional marriage in which the O.Ps wife family prior ate and drank.... But in case of o.p wife, they didn't share their daughter dowry and they didn't do any traditional marriage. ... Just like... "You have been eating our own, you don't want us to eat your own" ...

The excuse that the money o.p paid was used to treat the wife mother in hospital does not concern them. The dowry Money is meant to be shared by the family union... Hospital money is seperate and another thing entirely. In this case, the wife family unit people should have called a family union meeting where they will contrubite money to treat the o.p's wife mother if they are unable to foot the bill on their own but they didn't do that)

So the family union told O.p that for them to recognise him as their inlaw, he should pay the dowry to them and do traditional marriage to fulfill all righteousness. He did not follow the right channel in paying the first dowry and he skipped the traditional marriage. Be like, they told o.p to do "correction".

However, the o.p is angry about how the whole process turned out so he returned to Lagos angrily instead of "having further clarification talks" with his wife's family union.

nurey:
Chevrolet Aveo
your cross will be heavier than Jesus own

Op never learn lesson.

A man should not die twice of same sickness except he's very stupid

Mizwisdom:
. She even tried by refunding N220K, some people will clear everything completely. Take the money, bury your dad and move on with your life.

I was even astonished to read where she refunded a whopping 220k

The o.p thinks medicine is cheap. We don't even know how long the father was sick but from the look of the story, it's over a year.

Mr. Op abeg borrow me your step sister. She's very caring. When my grandfather was sick... All my aunties stayed away waiting for him to die. Your sister cared for your father, she even refunded money, she is very nice person.

If you don't appreciate her, please dash her to me. I no get elder sister, i dey find one. O.p abeg

He's an oldman nah . What is strange about an old man bring sick?

^^ Sir, please let's save the o.p of plenty stress.

I
One person cannot know everything. We might be in his shoes someday, we never know.

Thanks

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Yours is likely 1988, 1989 or 1990

Ogboru should at least have gone to share first.

Abi no be came senate okowa go first?

Maybe ogboru feels he is too big to be a senator

GBOKASINCHA:
Private school university students are so wayward and stupid....
The way dey abuse drugs is second to none...especially students from bowen.....and igbinedion ...igbinedion their own case is too bad both girls and boys are drug addicts

Boss... Weed smoking among Igbinedion university boys no be here o. I schooled there briefly and transferred away before they finished me. It is hard for hardworking and morally upright student to survive at Igbinedion university.

XhosaNostra:
That looks like "cheap" fun. I was expecting to see a feast fit for a king. The brother is overreacting imo.

Does money grow in trees?

Do you pick free money on the roadside?

If i have to labor from 8am to 6pm a few days to earn N10,000 to give to that boy, and he wastes the money like that... I won't be happy too

AutoJoshNIG:
The picture below tells a classic tale of the industry of African women.



Source:

https://autojosh.com/this-photo-of-a-cycling-woman-depicts-the-industry-of-african-women-photo/


Lalasticlala
Mynd44
Ishilove
Semid4lyfe
Obinoscopy
Seun

Na for Delta you snap the picture

quinSonia:
Any ideas

Even if armed robber point gun in my head, i can't buy DV6000

It's like using your money to buy fine car with bad Engine design... No matter how well it is repaired or carefully used, it'll still develop fault again

CLEVER123:
I emulated ppssp on my PC, and I tried playing some games that are fairly large not more than 1gb in size, but it keeps saying that my graphics card driver failed, and the systems forcefully reboots.
Am thinking about updating the graphics card driver, but am not sure if it will work, because the PC is just 32bits, and the ram is 2gb. Its also an Intel core processor PC.

No go kill the poor innocent lappy cos of game, please.

If the motherboard can't take what you're throwing at it, leave the laptop like that or find games with lower graphics requirements.

bukatyne:
Happy Ten years anniversary.

Mtcheeww

Anniversary that won't add a kobo to my pocket

safarigirl

Add Susan Peters, please.

Thanks

bobobooge:
Oweniwe

When last did you hear from kendrace?

Her number stopped going last year. I've tried to reach out to her relatives and friends on Facebook to ask about her but got no response.

Cc: ahnie

Dukebaba3v3:
most valuable

What if a child playfully use nail, razor or sharp object chook the rubber?

bukatyne:
Like play like play, I have used 7yrs here o.

Me 10 years ...2009-2019

GAZZUZZ:
I have neighbours who I have closely watched for a while now. It's a syndicate that bring in people in 3 - 4 different vehicles. (usually one person at a time) accompanied by 2-3others in a vehicle they enter into their apartment 20-30mins later they all walk out and return the third party. I have asked people around my area what goes on in that room and I was told the vehicles move around like taxis, pickup unsuspecting individuals, brain wash them, take them into the room and after a while return them to where they picked them up from. Every one on the street seems to know, but no one talks about it. I do not have concrete evidence but it is obvious they are shady characters.

How do I tip off the authorities to investigate these people without getting involved?

Same thing happened when i went to visit my mama at Iyana ipaja suburb.

One calabar guy next room would lure prior into his room... Hynotise them to sleep..... Draw off their blood... The victim would wake up oblivious of what has happened and go never to return again.

Everyone on the street knew what the man was doing..... Spy policemen regularly come that area to mix and drink with people so the police is obviously aware. Mama said the guy had been arrested many times before but he would immediately be bailed out so no one wants to waste time reporting to police again.

Lagos na wa.

yinkaoke:
The acquitted guy's lawyer has sent his brief to our lawyer as a guide and we believe we shall win and have victory too in Jesus name.

Amen and amen

yinkaoke:
From the inception they used different lawyers although d judgement was given same day. After which each party there after decided to appeal based on pocket, the friend's family was able to get fund earlier for their appeal n did not wait for my brother as we could not get funding for the appeal on time. They were 4. The last 2 guys could not raise money until d appeal window closed.

That's sad. I thought the are pro-bono lawyers who will be willing to say least, handle cases for little fee.

Life is more important than money. If your prior are capable, they should pool funds to hire the acquitted friend's lawyer. Your innocent brother's life and well-being is more important than money that will still be spent on other stuffs anyway

ibkn:
however it is strange for the appeals to have been heard separately

I wonder too why the appeal was done separately. Op can you shed some light on this, please?