₦airaland Forum

Ok na lets clap for her cos she's now twenty shit

Your question OP is like asking why can't palm trees be cultivated in d north.

Enjoy this piece on some mysterious but interesting people I see(meet) whenever I travel by Danfo [those yellow buses], around Lagos:
1. The co-driver: In a Danfo bus, you'll normally find a driver, bus conductor and other passengers. Among these other passengers is a co-driver i.e. a self-acclaimed one. You'll often hear him from the back seats giving orders to the driver on where to follow, how to step on the brake, how to swerve onto a new lane etc. And the driver most often respond: "Nayou dey drive?" Or "You wan collect steering for my
hand?"
2. Red Alert: Imagine yourself inside a danfo bus
and the driver is running on what seems like a top speed. Then all of a suddenyou hear a voice break into your chain of thoughts. More like a scream: "Ahn ahn, driver you wan kill us?"
Or "Driver please take it easy o. I never marry."
Sometimes the co-driver doubles as a "red alert". Other times another passenger plays that role. The main goal is to caution the driver so that we can all arrive safely.
3. Preacher man: Repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand. With the preacherman in your bus, you can barely hear yourself think. Forget about receiving calls in that bus. If you do, you will hear the person on the other line asking, "are you in church?". The good thing about a preacherman in your danfo bus is that you
get reminded that heaven and hell is real. "If we all die now, where will you go? Heaven or hell?" Some passengers stare at him in anger. Why should you say if we all die now? Yes, of course we want to make Heaven. No we won't die in
this danfo bus.
4. The pervert: One day I was in a danfo bus and I heard a woman say in a loud voice "if you try that again I will slap you." She was referring to the young man sitting beside her. The story was that the man was rubbing his elbow against
her bosom. You can't really tell who is rubbing what because some of these buses are usually so jam-packed. The best thing is to position yourself well. But if you are unlucky you might fall victim of false accusation, this time a reversed psychology- one day, an older man pissed at the way a woman was protecting her frontage bluntly asked, "who wan touch your bosom?". According to him, he has more than that at home. Silence...
5. "Do you know who I am": This man or woman tells us in a danfo bus that he or she is a very important person so the bus conductor must not argue with him/her over N10 change. Enough said.
6. Political analyst: If you missed the news last night, and you have a political analyst riding the same danfo bus with you, may God bless your day. All is cool until he gets another
politically conscious passenger to engage in the
discourse. Sometimes their analysis is a comic relief.
Other times depressing. Depending on the topic in focus. An elderly analyst tells the younger folks in the bus about the good old days.
And the danger of having a "young" inexperienced president rule Nigeria.
7. GSM users: Sometimes, you enter a bus and
everyone, well almost everyone, is on their mobile phone making calls. The one screaming at the top of his voice... Like hell the other person is deaf.
8. Sleep-attack: How do people sleep through the journey? In the danfo bus? On the bumpy Lagos road? Forget it. You don't know what their story is about. Body no be wood o.
9. Networker: The guy tells you that you have beautiful brown eyes and soberly shares his story. What is yours? Blank stare.
10. Tribalism: If war breaks out in Lagos, it might start from a danfo bus. One minute you enter a danfo bus and you see us all
sandwiched in the air-tight yellow buses and you sigh in relief. The next, you hear an argument from the back row and the next thing,
someone is yelling, throwing verbal punches at
a particular tribe. End of story.
These are my first ten. There are more categories to meet. What are yours?
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Enjoy this piece on some mysterious but
interesting people I see
(meet) whenever I travel by
Danfo [those yellow buses],
around Lagos:
1. The co-driver: In a Danfo
bus, you'll normally find a
driver, bus conductor and
other passengers. Among
these other passengers is a
co-driver i.e. a self
acclaimed one. You'll often
hear him from the back
seats giving orders to the
driver on where to follow,
how to step on the brake,
how to swerve onto a new
lane etc. And the driver
most often respond: "Na
you dey drive?" Or "You
wan collect steering for my
hand?"
2. Red Alert: Imagine
yourself inside a danfo bus
and the driver is running on
what seems like a top
speed. Then all of a sudden
you hear a voice break into
your chain of thoughts.
More like a scream: "Ahn
ahn, driver you wan kill us?"
Or "Driver please take it
easy o. I never marry."
Sometimes the co-driver
doubles as a "red alert".
Other times another
passenger plays that role.
The main goal is to caution
the driver so that we can all
arrive safely.
3. Preacher man: Repent for
the Kingdom of God is at
hand. With the
preacherman in your bus,
you can barely hear yourself
think. Forget about
receiving calls in that bus. If
you do, you will hear the
person on the other line
asking, "are you in
church?". The good thing
about a preacherman in
your danfo bus is that you
get reminded that heaven
and hell is real. "If we all die
now, where will you go?
Heaven or hell?" Some
passengers stare at him in
anger. Why should you say
if we all die now? Yes, of
course we want to make
Heaven. No we won't die in
this danfo bus.
4. The pervert: One day I
was in a danfo bus and I
heard a woman say in a
loud voice "if you try that
again I will slap you." She
was referring to the young
man sitting beside her. The
story was that the man was
rubbing his elbow against
her bosom. You can't really
tell who is rubbing what
because some of these
buses are usually so jam-
packed. The best thing is to
position yourself well. But if
you are unlucky you might
fall victim of false
accusation, this time a
reversed psychology- one
day, an older man pissed at
the way a woman was
protecting her frontage
bluntly asked, "who wan
touch your bosom?"
According to him, he has
more than that at home.
Silence.
5. "Do you know who I am":
This man or woman tells us
in a danfo bus that he or
she is a very important
person so the bus
conductor must not argue
with him/her over N10
change. Enough said.
6. Political analyst: If you
missed the news last night,
and you have a political
analyst riding the same
danfo bus with you, may
God bless your day. All is
cool until he gets another
politically conscious
passenger to engage in the
discourse. Sometimes their
analysis is a comic relief.
Other times depressing.
Depending on the topic in
focus. An elderly analyst tells
the younger folks in the bus
about the good old days.
And the danger of having a
"young" inexperienced
president rule Nigeria.
7. GSM users: Sometimes,
you enter a bus and
everyone, well almost
everyone, is on their mobile
phone making calls. The
one screaming at the top of
his voice... Like hell the other person is deaf.
8. Sleep-attack: How do
people sleep through the
journey? In the danfo bus?
On the bumpy Lagos road?
Forget it. You don't know
what their story is about.
Body no be wood o.
9. Networker: The guy tells
you that you have beautiful
brown eyes and soberly
shares his story. What is
yours? Blank stare.
10. Tribalism: If war breaks
out in Lagos, it might start
from a danfo bus. One
minute you enter a danfo
bus and you see us all
sandwiched in the air-tight
yellow buses and you sigh
in relief. The next, you hear
an argument from the back
row and the next thing,
someone is yelling,
throwing verbal punches at
a particular tribe. End of
story.
These are my first ten.
There are more categories
to meet. If still any let it flow.
Facebook.com

I can even see the immaturity in what u are trying to express op.

lalasticlala: Mr ibu

Are you sure this is mr Ibu's wife?

Mmmm... The teenagers were highly proactive in using their unique human endowment of self-awareness, imagination, conscience, and independent will, in creatively bringing out this innovative idea. Cheers!

RuudNisterooy: Lmao @most of the answers up there. Funny set of individuals.
With all you've writing there, the one i agree with the most is no.1. I never knew a smile could make a fellow fall in love mehn. The way some ladies smile, and the way the smile illuminates their eyes, is enof to send a man into timbuktu.
Then don't mention if she has dimples, that'll be too much to take, i could just kiss her already.

You are on point

prettythicksme: @op this pics you upload shows you like fine slimy babe

I do like good things though

romzyxy: all these r long stories.....as long as the girl v chelsea n barca n fine small...e don finish o

Guy when you first meet a girl you unconciously and consciously access her by all these above mentioned features

Dubby6: 1) A*s
2)Boo*bs
3)Face
4)How she talks
5) She sabi d tin
6)She b beta pikin

I can say boobs falls under no 5

Jarchi: Stop lying who tell u say grow-up girl they get chest,oya do the needfu by correcting it to the rightfu
Me na her voice and accent after dat na her. 'Make oga op first go correct am b4 I talk my own'

Just take am say no be chest I mean

Face off

9 . Dressing style
Probably, this is surprising but most men
do notice a woman ’ s dressing style . A
recent study has found that most men
prefer a classy dresser to a woman who
shows too much of her skin . So , try to
dress nicely and more classy. A great
sense of style can tell a lot about you, keep
it in mind !

8 . Skin
Most men also pay attention to the way a
woman’ s skin looks . Numerous surveys
have indicated that a man sees a good
complexion as a sure sign of health . Most
men think that a woman with a healthy -
looking complexion is healthy and she can
produce healthy offspring .

7 . Legs
Okay , it is not a surprise for you, I know .
Most men love long legs and this is
another thing they notice about women,
but if you don’ t have long legs , don ’ t
worry ! There are plenty of other qualities
that matter much more to men than a
beautiful pair of legs !

6 . How fake are you ?
Men also notice how fake women are . If
you have hair extensions , fake eyelashes
and nails , he will definitely notice it . To
most men, fake means high maintenance
and large expense. While fake eyelashes
might draw his eye , he won ’ t like them . If
you want to attract a guy, make sure you
stick with your natural look .

5 . Chest
Perhaps you think that chest is the first
thing guys notice when they meet a
woman. But , you are wrong ; guys are not
as superficial as many women think .
Numerous polls and surveys have shown
that men notice a woman ’ s chest only
after her smile and her eyes. Breasts are
usually considered to be a sign of youth
and fertility, and it ’ s one of the reasons
why most men pay attention to woman ’ s
chest.

4 . Weight
Weight is one of those things most men
notice about women. It may sound
shallow , but it actually makes sense. Sure,
he ’ s not judging you, he ’ s just noticing . So
don’ t take it too personal . After all , weight
is not a true love knows no barriers . If he
doesn ’ t like your weight and he says it to
you, he doesn ’ t deserve your time .

3 . Hair
Sure, men notice a woman ’ s beautiful and
healthy hair. Trust me, all those hours
spent in the hairdresser ’ s chair are not in
vain . Most guys think that a stylish ,
healthy, shiny and sleek hair is a sign of
health and youth . Also , you need to know
that most men like to be with a woman
with natural and soft hair that smells good
too .

Rapmoney: Op, you goofed! The first thing I notiice in a woman is her professional status. I would rather remain single than date a liability! Forget the smiles; if she like, let her smile from here to Zimbabwe, if you ain't doing nothin, forget it!

guy chill am not through yet

2 . Eyes
Another common thing men notice first
about a woman is her eyes. I ’ m sure
you’ ve heard that the eyes are the
windows to your soul . They can tell us a
lot about a person . It can be easy to find
out if someone is lying to you or simply
telling the truth.

1. Smile
A beautiful smile is one of the things most men
notice first in a woman. I know it’s not so
surprising since everyone likes to look at a person
with a beautiful smile. When a man first meets a
woman, he notices her nice and genuine smile.
So, smile more often since you never know who
may be falling in love with your beautiful smile.

Good move for Rojo nd good signing for man utd. But I believe man utd need three more signings before the transfer market deadline.

We keep saying 'the youths are the leaders of tomorrow' but I can't still understand why this old men from the past keep showing their faces. Are we moving forward or backwards? We keep drinking new wine from an old wineskin.

purplesummer: In the above listed creatures, almost all the females have their mouths open in a seeming scream or moan. I used to think only humans women moan.

That's better

kendrick93: i dnt tink jona should worry abt fashola.. fashola is just lookin for cheap attension anyway. his just a puppet for his master Tinubu.. if i were jonathan all dis men would hav been in jail by now

Haba! you know we are not running a military regime here, where one can't voice out his opinion. for crying out loud this is a Democratic era.

medtes100: hala Madrid! can't wait to see my Rodriguez and Toni Kross . after d super cup, we will win d King's cup den a treble dis coming season. go Madrid

for your dreams abi

hell no!!!!

I am like what the hell!!! there are places even worse than this. But let us be sincere with ourselves here, if we look at these places, people living there mess up their own environment. The way people rubbish their own environment is not encouraging and we see ourselves complaining all the time about the government, that they are not doing this they are not doing that. I know sometimes the government are to be blamed for some things but we all should receive an equal part of the blame. If you even take these group of people living in that area to a comfortable community abroad, they may even turn the place worse than this because the mentality is still there. First of all we need to change our mentality. We all should be mindful of the environment we live in.

kultimate009: She no even go small.... So 4rm a stranger, 2k is anything? And you wonder why some guys rape these girls without any remorse.... Smh

very true... most of the time some girls are the cause of their misfortune. You can see a girl demanding the hell out of a guy, from 100 to 200 to 1000 to 2000k recharge card.

women's wee wee smells more than d men's. while men's poo poo smells more than women's poo