₦airaland Forum

got plateau state and Jos spot on. nice one op

great points. those who benefited from him want us to start calling him saint Abba Kyari

in April already, Joe has won my man of the year. Dignity in one's self is a rare commodity these days

MrBachelor:
How about those of us that don't dream?

everyone who falls asleep dreams. to remember your dream, stay still for about 4 to 5 minutes on your bed without moving or thinking when you wake up. do not give your brain any task. in this age, some may reach for their phone immediately they wake up or start their morning prayers. if you spend 5 minutes without tasking the brain or body, the brain will task itself and the 1st task is to collate your dreams. in the process of collation, you will remember your dreams. then you can pray or reach for your phone or use the bathroom etc.

some dreams are so vivid and intense we naturally remember them. others are short and transcend well may hardly recall them.

some drugs like marijuana and legally approved pharmaceutical drugs have side effects; the loss of short term memory. this can affect the brains' ability to recall and collate dreams.

like in everything in life, practice is needed. with time, you will get the hang of it.

kingbasuraiii:
True bro, there's this girl I've been seeing now for quite a while, the day I just asked out of the blue to check her phone cuz she always check mine, come and see defensive formation wey pass Mourinho own.

������� no be small parking the bus

Davash222:
When dating a Nigerian girl, the safest way to remain sane is to assume you're her 13th boyfriend.

WORD ma Nigga! 'most' girls are like a bridge, you are not to claim ownership and stay put. you are just to pass through and enjoy the services they provide.

DaudaTheSexyGuy:
When chatting with a married woman you have intentions of banging later there are somethings you should not put in writing

coded guy. Also, make sure she calls when she is free. don't ever call her at ungodly hours and when she calls, make sure you don't speak until she does. save a marriage. stop leaving loose ends

abeg any link wey I fit use download the video. the babe fresh die

Well, I am the king in the north so I know a thing or two about nacking shy Hausa/fulani or Muslim girls in general. See that smallee ba, in the evening, leave your door ajar, she should be free around 4:30-5pm or there about. They usually pray the evening prayers around 7pm when the Sun finally fades. Codedly tell her to go wait for you inside. Do not follow her. They are very shy. Let her go inside alone. If you have all those neighbours that like to stay outside with eagles eyes, be creative and distract them. The biggest hurdle is getting her in to your apartment without anyone's notice. If you can pass that hurdle, when inside, do not waste time with idle talk for it is not a nollywood set. If she is the type that wears hijap, tell her you want to see her hair and how it highlights her eyes. Be calm and smile through your eyes to make her feel at easy. *shy girls have that salient smile they flash when have loosen their inhibitions.
Compliment the smile, tell her she looks even more beautiful when she smiles.

My guy if she agrees or not, touch is the essence with them. They are barely touched so make contact with the hijab to see her beautiful hair. If she's not wearing a hijap. Straightforward to the belly button trick. Tell her you can predict the sex of her 1st child by seeing her belly button.

If she opens it...touch it and keep touching. Nothing beats a virgin Muslim pùšsý. If you ever hit that, you will know the joys of Jannah.

Girls in skimpy secondary school uniforms. (a pedos prison)

and Psquare them no fix share one stage. shame

this poo sea go get flesh wella for inside. (inside life)

Bluezy13:
Common 3 web pages, you dey lament.

the thing tire me oh!

You expect us to use our data watch video for this lock down? OYO

Glink2018:
Your family is cursed..you better organize deliverance for the entire family. Because the effect of the curse will surely come.

None of you shall approach to any that is near of kin to him, to uncover their unclothedness: I am the Lord .
Leviticus 18:6 KJV

Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob all married their cousins.

The Bible is pretty clear on that fact by showing so many first-cousin marriages and by first-cousin marriage being notably absent from Leviticus 18. In the JPS version of the Tanakh Leviticus 18:6 says not to "come near anyone of [your] own flesh to uncover unclothedness" in the JPS. In other versions the word "kin" is often used. Leviticus does go on to list various and very specific "you and your kin" relationships and goes so far as to point out that we shouldn't have sex with sheep but fails to even elude to cousins. In fact, if Jesus did exist it is well within the realm of possibility that his parents were first-cousins (the 1913 Catholic Encyclopedia mentions this possibility).

Patotelli:
It happened just last week as the government out hold on all tertiary Institutions. I traveled for some business hustle. At around 4pm on the Sunday I called my babe and we chatted for some time then someone coughed in the background which I asked who was that she replied a friend, I said ok..

Getting back to school o as to pack up things and finally go home. She came to my place and while trying to make love with her she said oh babe am not comfortable now. Like my conscious is priming me. I stopped and tried to let her talk about it but she waved it off and said she just wanted to see my reaction. Well as man be we continued after we were through she was like 'boo what if I tell you I someone has sex with me what would you do'.i just did as if I didn't hear what she said, I first left her and went to the sitting room to take water from the fridge and during to calm my nerves and be alright. When I came back to the room I asked her what she said the other time she just said oh nothing she's just afraid to say what she wanted to say,right then I know something's up. I entered motivation mood and started hyping her how good she has been to me, how she have changed me to a better person and how positive this relationship has been, how we have been best couples on campus and people envy our Union. Truth be told we love each other I even opened a business for her. She sells ladies footwear's and bags all imported from outside country.. before I know it she started crying that babe pls I'm sorry there's something that happened to me on Sunday and it would end our relationship, I was like nothing you want to say that is new in this world and that has not happened before, that no one is perfect. Well she said her ex chatted her up and was like pls he's down and needed some help that she should come help her out at home. On getting there the guy is was watching movie in his room. Well she's there already and sit down. All the guy was saying wa how he missed her and regretted cheating in her and all that before she could know it the guy pinned her down through struggle and all that the guy had his way with her..
I was so devastated don't know what to do at first because all I was thinking is that after all we've been through and done together our relationship will be a year by may, you still went to be laid by your Ex, asked how many times has it happened in our relationship she said 3 times, the first two when we just started that she still feels for the guy then.but now she don't feel for him again and that will be the only time she visited him since she got serious with me. but as someone who is matured and experienced I just kept my calm because she started crying and throughout the night she cried her eyes out.. I just remained mute till morning. The next day I told her we need a break but it got worse she fell and hit her head on some table.. I had to take her and apply some medication on her..

Why I came in here is for you fellow nairaLanders to advice me on what to do.
1st I love her
2nd she's known to my mom and brother
3rd I've draft out how my life is going to be spent with her forever.
4th can I continue dating her and tell her to cut ties with the guy.

Pls help me, what do I do and not do. What do I tell her and not tell her..

Thanks plss

Old road no dey close my brother. the ex fűçķś better than you. up your game. out fùçķ him. these bishes follow the money but always I repeat always come back for some good đìçķ. if she says 3 times, you have to multiply that same number by (3). * you've got a hoe not a cutlass.

Ancientbeing:
He's 19 or there about. She's not telling me what i want to hear. She's 16
I dont know anymore

16? fair enough. Have you ever heard the phrase...sweet 16? I think you is just mad your younger sis is getting ďìçķ while you is not. You gat to get yours...try the driver or gate man. there are ďìçķś everywhere if you know where to look.

that ass has class
colour blind

Leah Sherubu

Gofwane:
she got married last year so we are no longer in the same state

hope you are not my in-law hiding under one pen name ba? coz this my wife cannot stop talking how awesome her cousin was to her

damtan:
Nice writeup. you could start blogging

Yea, I would love too. my job does not give that luxury for now. I plan to write some more and see people's reactions. just wanna welcome criticism, reviews, and see the ratings.

dilini:
It's worth reading dear. #LifeLessons

you are worth all my gratitude thanks

FrancisDozie:
The story sweet die , I read it all

thanks mate! I feel glad some of us take out time to read

Lnxxxxx:
@OP I love your writing style, it's awesome. I encourage you to write more stories am a fan already.

But you must know that this will not end well. I don't blame you but I think the best thing you can do for yourself right now is to stop. You need more self restraints with this kinda stuff.

By the way, the Dude being military should be enough warning.

But please tell us if you plan to continue on this path so that I will keep watch on news from Gombe or somewhere in the north of a murder-suicide by a newly married young military officer.

Good luck mate

thanks mate! I will keep you guys posted. remember, I changed places and names so Gombe for murder/suicide might not suffice

I am going to be the best man
He is my best friend
But I am still PUCKIN his fiancee a week to the wedding.

Already, you think I am on the wrong track and the worst friend in the world. It is okay to point fingers and call names and lay blames but just before you do, stay with me and read our story. It is pivotal to note that betrayal at this level can only happen and thrive when the finance too is in tone with it. I have changed names and places to protect characters here but this is a true story. The truth they say will 1st piss you off then set you free. Truth hurts but I tell it to heal us all.


Ken:
has always been my best friend from childhood. We both went to thesame saint Peter primary school, destiny further cemented that friendship when we got to secondary school. Our both parents had to become friends because of us. Ken for me is the true definition of brother from another mother. We were finally thrust apart when Ken got admission in to NDA in kaduna while I remained to study engineering at the state university. From the same tribe and from thesame neighbourhood, Ken and I had every similarity. Both tall and good looking even now in our mid 30s. I must admit I always have this feeling ken was better looking than me because he was a shade taller and a pound bigger not down there sha just to clear the air. financially, he is ahead of me at the moment. But what I lack for physically and financially, I make up for intellectually and socially. Ken is brash and a go getter while I am layed back and It all falls in place at the end kinda guy. While ken's ego and cash will get him the better looking girl in a group when we go out, my demeanour and etiquette always charm them to my bed at the end. So, you see the picture now, Ken gets the fresh tomatoes Jos while I get to sample the left over barje. We remained best friends even though he slept with my younger sister and I never got the chance to nail his.

On a beautiful sunday like this, it is always wise to look to the future and not the past. In a weekend when Dangote's daughter got married one can only stay in good vibes. Talking about future and marriage, Do you believe a man can truly love his best friend and constantly betray him in his mind, in the very cosmic poetry of his soul. Well, I love Ken but I betrayed him when I layed with his fiance: Rosie. And still do up this moment even when the wedding is 5 to 6 days away like literally. Who in God's green earth does that right? With all the precaution in the world, I failed.

Love is a comical engagement for anyone truly in it and there is nothing funnier than love traveling through time. some Men believe more in love and it is tiresome. I think Ken is that kinda man. But girls? Niaja girls? They don't take love seriously and they never have. Girls get mind sha! They can keep powerful secrets and look normal. Ah, well, you think I have a grievance against girls right? No! I am too chivalrous and truth be told that only women have been able to make me deeply unhappy, and they have done so from the cradle on.

Rosie:
I first saw Rosie last April when Ken mother died. Due to his busy schedule, he never got to introduce us. He only just ask me to give her and three other men from his army work a ride. I noticed when she got to her destination, a guy among the three men stopped at the same town with her. When it was just me and the other two, not knowing my affiliation with Ken, they started mouthing gibberish about how Rosie sleeps with everyone who can get a boner. I only listened and thought to myself, Ken is a badt sharp guy na, this Rosie will just be another gaga shuffle. Boys and girls, ladies and gents! How wrong was I. During last Christmas, Ken called to tell me he had done introduction and wants me to prepare for his wedding. One can influence a friend and constantly alter his decisions but not when it comes to choosing a bride. You draw a line and let them have their say right? Good or bad, they live with their choice not you.

By January this year, Rosie was posted to Gombe for her NYSC. I began to notice Ken was always coming from maiduguri to visit. Though I never got to see Rosie again after that trip, I knew she was in town coz Ken told me during one of his short visits. Honestly, I am a man's man. I slay cats if you know what I mean. This Nairaland self will not allow one use poo sea. But I roll with my dogs; my niggas. Towards the end of January, ken introduced her along with friend of hers to me when we all went out. Wetting man go do, I sharply started nailing Bola her friend. Now I see! Maybe Bola Fed her stories about our novel perfect dating and mating. Because Valentine finally broke the ice.

If you recall like I do, this year's Val was on on a Wednesday. So on Sunday before val, I saw Rosie's call. Though she had always had my number and I had always had hers, we never spoke. You don't friend zone a lady who is about to marry your best friend na.

.....phone ringing. ...... I picked.

Hello? I said

'Oga you just forget me'
came her reply

Ah_ba Rose, I no fit forget you na! You na our wife.
I said trying to make her know her place. You know how we Nigerians call our in-laws our wife with no pun or porn intended

'Wetting dey for una wife this Val na?' She said half laughing

Seeing the joke, I chuckled too between light laughter and said
Ken dey na, we don give you Ken.

To cut the long story short, she said she has not heard from Ken for like a week. I dropped the call and tried his line. NOT AVAILABLE.
I told her maybe they were on for a mission where service was poor.

She finally got me to take her out on Valentine's day becuase she said she would be lonely and the best way to avoid temptation from all the male Corp members stalking her, was for me to show up on vals day and take her out.
On vals day, I called her by 6pm to notify her about my coming. She was so happy, when I went further to disclose that I will be coming with Bola so we all three could have Val dinner, she changed her mood and asked me to just go with Bola alone. Thinking she wanted me to have privacy with my bea, I agreed. After an hour, she texted me informing me that Bola has only one hour left and I should come pick her by 9:30pm. That she was lonely and afraid because every other Corp member had gone out and there was no light.

As a senior bros in the game, I knew Bola would not mind. All these copa girls and their copa boyfriends. I promised to drop her at home but she declined and left. I know a copa guy as broke as he may have been, got the better of me that night over Bola. No P, i went over and picked Rosie. From the hairstyle she made, to the red dress she wore and down to her black heels, she looked every bit my dream girl. Sexy, Classy, Sassy and not trashy. I had to compliment her. When she came in and sat at the passenger's sit in front, her perfume filled my car. I sniffed, smiled and said

you are wearing blu mixed with new musk. I love your fragrance.

She smiled and complimented mine too. Clearly, we are both perfume people. Hours ago, all Bola wanted for dinner was fast food and chicken. Being a romantic, I never liked the idea for it wa Val, everyone will be going out to a fast food eatery. But I went anyways. Being Chivalrous is my most dominant nature. Not Rosie, she wanted something different. She asked me to stop at a super market. She offered to buy candles while holding my upper arm as she asked me to get us some exotic red wine and chocolates. She said she wish we could just go somewhere far from everyone and be alone with no lights just candles, chocolates and red wine. Where my people if not my house. It was like me in a female body hanging out with me. We liked thesame things and see the world differently. Carried and swayed away by romantic vibes, it is clear folks, I done fall but before my head goes under water, I asked;

What about Ken? How will he feel when he finds out we were on date on Valentine.

Do you have any evil intentions? She asked me?

No! I defended my self sounding like Saraki's lawyer

Then why worry? More over, our hanging out is out of pure innocence. Let's just keep it as our little secret.

We did. She promised not to tell Bola and I promised not to tell Ken. After we finished the second bottle of California red, we had become best friends under the candle lights. She loosen her inhibitions . She let her guard down, my d*ck let me down. I let my best friend down.
At 1am, there is no way she was going home, so we both agreed as friends to just cuddle and talk about all the reasons while we can't. Cuddling led to kissing each other to savour how wine might taste on another persons' mouths, i did the lord luggard journey down her boobs and she became wet like the Niger delta. She reached for my d*ck and held it like a microphone saying to it

'Ministry of environment there is wet spill down here *she touches her poo sea* don't you have work to do?...

We made love 1st, then pucked for the 2nd round then in the morning, we banged.

Now back to the issue at hand. We have not been able to stop pucking since last month. Nowadays, I can't look at my guy in the eye. I feel guilty. I mean how do you feel when she sucks your d*ck but uses that same mouth to kiss your friend in their pre wedding picture on his whatsapp dp? I have tried to step down from the best man position but Ken will have nothing of it. Last week, I thought about telling him to come clean even though I will be known as betrayal for life but I am afraid. One, he is a high ranking officer fighting boko haram. He could lose it and shoot me in the pucking head. I also don't wanna burst his bubbles for he is always singing Rosie's praises to everybody who cared to listen and post her wife material qualifications on Facebook.

What makes me less afraid is that Rosie has no single atom of guilt in her. She goes on with planning the wedding as the most righteous lady on earth. On Wednesday when we went out to trial out suits and her wedding gown. She treated me normally and formally. But on my way home, she put a paper in my hand saying why have I not been picking Bola's call. Before I could even say a word. She said that is from Bola. Played along.

When I got home, I open the paper thinking Bola was tired of technology and wanted the old school letter thing. Only to see these words from Rosie

Hey lover,
Tuesday is the only free time I have from this hectic wedding up and down. Let's make it the puck of our life. Get room 7 in that guests house and 2bottles of our regular wine. No more calls or texting for now. I will be there 11am.

Our best man with the best d*ck
Xoxo