₦airaland Forum

Gemez:
Listen........I read all you wrote and was yet to find a problem......yes you were used it's called ""were"" I guess you are mature now......note others might have experienced worse...... Yes most celebrities have similar story to tell.......thank God you didn't commit suicide.........I guess what you need is some points I'm going highlight
1) lessons not regrets:::: forget the past and forge on , this life is one .....na who die na him lose oooo
Affirm and beleive in yourself
2) forget about whatever you think your parents did......it's high time you take responsibility for you life.....if anything happens to you then it's ur be fault......dad won't answer but you......you found the problem prefer a solution
3)I DNT know you but I HV already perceived you don't have friends that's your problem.....I mean a FRIEND not good morning friend but s companion......better still aguy lyk you .. of like minds
4) you said you are not reading the cause you want it's just lyk I already know what's up cause.....I HV withnessded such kind of scenery..... ..love what you are doing........my bro if you are best in that course you are reading. Or pursue wat u want it's lare for you......money no go be your problem....... So you can have money to do what you want......I guess you wanna sing..... It requires cash I guess that would cause another pain
5)lastly...........do what makes you happy.......come to a realization and acceptance of whom you are #self love# then the universe will work in your favour......in essence build your self image
I guess I helped......pls take care of your self I care.......nothing is sad about whatever.....lyf goes on�

Ok thanks

PHOTSEE:
OP,we all understand their is a problem and the good thing is you are speaking out about it, and we alknowleged it also , based on the effect it has on you such as your observations;
*stalk helpless and loss of focus
*loss of faith in protective power of your parent
*prone and subject further abuses by a sexiual preditor
*feeling of being dirty and worthless
*feel of being guy or straight.
*low productivity in your daily activity
* being tense
*finially depression
the true is op all these and lot more which might be runing though your mind with negative emotions , flooding per minutes .
you need solutions ,you need to come out from the wells of denial, regret ,it has happened their is nothing anybody can do about it, but help you pass these phase of life. open up let discuse issues whatever that cross your mind , i will try to put your though.
Remember commiuncation is key.

Thank u so so much.....

Christeety:
I'm so sorry about what you've gone through especially with the way your parents reacted.

Please stay strong, don't commit suicide. I'll advise you to go closer to God. He's the only one that can truly console you and strengthen you.

Also, don't look up to your parents or friends for your happiness. Find a way to be happy. Deed has been done, but don't give the devil the chance to see you sad.

Stand up and fight depression. Say positive words to yourself everyday. You are not to blame for being raped.

What way should I find....my own is to move out...

nuelsam:
op....you've really been through a lot no doubt but I tell u...a lot of people have been through worse but came back better and stronger.......I understand the fact that your parents messed things up big time but u gats make peace with em and start life afresh... hopefully,u are in level 1 in the University.....u made your hatred for your present course known several times in your write up,well I guess it's not too late to change your course or probably write another jamb....it's not too late.

I did take another jamb actually....
Hmm..thanks bro

g8662:
Sorry, it's quite a sad story you are going through.
And true bad ugly things happen in this world.
In as much as I understand you sympathize with your pain, I won't cry with you. Whats good will that do?
What I do is seek solutions to problems... That's what will give you relief.
So first, why did you post your story here? what is your purpose? What are you trying to achieve?
In other words, what do you want? Knowing this will help everyone help you.

Okay �

IceColdVeins:
Bro its a good profession,
I understand the sadness of seeing others study your dream course and the agony of your fellow students under-estimating the department make you think you are treading on a fruitless path.
Trust me I have worked in a few organisations and I can always assure you that every prominent institution, firm or organisation requires the services of health safety personnels. Talk about Oil/gas drilling and refineries, Hydrology companies, Civil engineering contractors, FMCG plants, British American Tobacco company, Government parastatals(NAFDAC, Ministry of Environment...etc). There's even a professional certification(H.S.E) every field worker is running after now. Its a part of your course. I work in the financial technology sector and we still have a department for worker's health and safety on the job.
Bro open your eyes.

Bro it's not just about the course. ..wat have passed through. Not as if I don't like it. I love it. But.trauma has caused a lot for me...

Liliantalks:
what r u studying ?

They transferred people , some they said...it's capacity was full already...from med lab to Health,safety and environment..

chii8:
Chaiii....my dear God will guide your path and make way for you, God's not through with you, don't give up, you are special and unique, the enemy want to cut short your joy but they won't succeed.But is there another family member, friendor neighbor who is aware of the abuse?

Still yet i told d same parent of mine about the abuse...they treat me as if nothing happened....
I feel bad each day

Liliantalks:
sorry honey,, being abused is a terrible thing,, but please go to school ,, u r not doing it for ur parents but urself ,, don’t let a very bad moment in ur life , ruin you ,, atleast u hv parents who do the needful ,, just console urself ,,, get the degree , make ur parents proud ,, over come everything,, that’s the only way u can feel better ..

It’s nice u telling ur story, atleast many men will understand why rape victim never speak up till it’s most time too late ,, but the good thing is that u do speak up.

BBy gal u won't understand...i can't carry anything up like book...100l though...and me not studying wat I desire increases my depression....do u know how set my mind is towards leaving home....
The trauma is too much...my heart aches everyday...the pain...do u know wat it means too feel being useless..not useful....that's how I feel....so wast is book needed for....if I even get I desired course...it's still better...but right now....nope

My WhatsApp number 08181959472...if u wish to help

OdefaGirl:
That's good.....


Someone up there said "stop personalizing gbola" hmmmnnn
What if we turn it the other way round and say " stop personalizing Toto" will the men agree?

This should be a free world....... don't you think?

Hahaha :I
U want them to come for u nii...
That's when u see them begging...one more. It will not enter finish....my mouth

Pheurly2:
Nairalanders, pls don't mind my spellings or English...i've posted but no much comments to help me...pls guys....i will summarise...cos if I have to write my full story...it wld be too lengthy...i begin
I'm a guy that have been abused sexually before by a lady. Then in lag is...inwas between the ages of 10 and 11...she made do dirty things for her, guys also molested me they did anal s** on me...i was left in pains...i have a little scar on my bosom though..i could not tell my parents though they threatened me...even to kill me...at my age ,I should b scared....even if..i wouldn't have told my parents...u can't talk to them...too serious , stoned faced...i couldn't..me keeping it made me an introvert....my parents have never advised me before even toll now as I am grown up....their own is so far they pay school fees....and give food that's all...being d first child...most times I feel useless...i feel used....i feel like I'm a sex object to people...this thoughts affectt me till now...i wld have committed suicide last year...i read something wgich stopped me..... I'm depressed ..my studies have dropped even in sec school..and now that i'm in d university....the trauma is affecting me madly....when i wake up...and i see them,i feel pains,my heart them each time...whenever I remember what I've been through. ...i become sad and cry....late last year I decided to tell them and I decided to change. That was my dad was telling me story blanka..of how he was almost raped...Nd in my mind if he had advised me before now wld I have passed through everything....he was even telling me if I say anything..he wld slap me...imagine...how u talk to someone that was molested...it made me angry d more...but I had to keep it....but I can't again...i'm feeling the trauma once again...i've stopped doing things at home ..becos I don't do it from my heart..their own is their paying school fees my accommodationfood...is that all...
I decided to leave d house..i can't keep bearing all what I'm bearing...i might do something I wld regret.. I wld go anywhere...they are not helping..the coursee i'm studying is not even what I want. Use my talents to survive.. It's adding to the depression...im in pains...i write all these with tears...this is my mind..to write will make it lengthier than this...
Nairalanders..pls help me..

Nairalanders, pls don't mind my spellings or English...i've posted but no much comments to help me...pls guys....i will summarise...cos if I have to write my full story...it wld be too lengthy...i begin
I'm a guy that have been abused sexually before by a lady. Then in lag is...inwas between the ages of 10 and 11...she made do dirty things for her, guys also molested me they did anal s** on me...i was left in pains...i have a little scar on my bosom though..i could not tell my parents though they threatened me...even to kill me...at my age ,I should b scared....even if..i wouldn't have told my parents...u can't talk to them...too serious , stoned faced...i couldn't..me keeping it made me an introvert....my parents have never advised me before even toll now as I am grown up....their own is so far they pay school fees....and give food that's all...being d first child...most times I feel useless...i feel used....i feel like I'm a sex object to people...this thoughts affectt me till now...i wld have committed suicide last year...i read something wgich stopped me..... I'm depressed ..my studies have dropped even in sec school..and now that i'm in d university....the trauma is affecting me madly....when i wake up...and i see them,i feel pains,my heart them each time...whenever I remember what I've been through. ...i become sad and cry....late last year I decided to tell them and I decided to change. That was my dad was telling me story blanka..of how he was almost raped...Nd in my mind if he had advised me before now wld I have passed through everything....he was even telling me if I say anything..he wld slap me...imagine...how u talk to someone that was molested...it made me angry d more...but I had to keep it....but I can't again...i'm feeling the trauma once again...i've stopped doing things at home ..becos I don't do it from my heart..their own is their paying school fees my accommodationfood...is that all...
I decided to leave d house..i can't keep bearing all what I'm bearing...i might do something I wld regret.. I wld go anywhere...they are not helping..the coursee i'm studying is not even what I want. Use my talents to survive.. It's adding to the depression...im in pains...i write all these with tears...this is my mind..to write will make it lengthier than this...
Nairalanders..pls help me..

chii8:
No place like home is a witty statement, If she run away from home to Start squatting with a friend,that will be a great mistake, except she wants to run from home to her own rented apartment of which she will be able to offset the cost and the bills that will be forthcoming....

Some Nigerian parent don't believe in giving their own children space that they deserve,they want to get into everything you do, although the truth is, that's their own way of showing love.So at times,this can be choking to some individuals.You need to understand that they are just been parents.Bear with them.

Finally, except the person is been abused, moving away and not running away may be a reasonable Iption.

Ur post got. .i can't bear what I'm bearing any longer...i've been sexually abused from my little age. My parents don't advice ..their own is so far they pay school fees and give ur food and house...do what they say...fhey won't listen to wat u wanna say...even as d first child. ..
as if do knew what I've been planning on doing...
I'm moving out...i will struggle...will use my talents to survive...i wrote a thread now..a guy being abused..

.

.

Lamize:
Nigeria has recorded over 1000 cases of coronavirus cases, News Direct reports.

The Nigeria Centre for Disease Control made this known via its Twitter handle on Friday.

It also said that at least 32 persons have died from coronavirus-related complications.

It 114 new cases of #COVID19 have been reported;
80 in Lagos
21 in Gombe
5 in FCT
2 in Zamfara
2 in Edo
1 in Ogun
1 in Oyo
1 in Kaduna
1 in Sokoto

As at 11:30 pm 24th April there are 1095 confirmed cases of #COVID19 reported in Nigeria; Discharged: 208 and 32 Deaths.

114 new cases of #COVID19 have been reported;

80 in Lagos
21 in Gombe
5 in FCT
2 in Zamfara
2 in Edo
1 in Ogun
1 in Oyo
1 in Kaduna
1 in Sokoto

As at 11:30 pm 24th April there are 1095 confirmed cases of #COVID19 reported in Nigeria.

Discharged: 208
Deaths: 32 pic.twitter.com/NIDV1zTh9o

— NCDC (@NCDCgov) April 24, 2020

Fear will make some pple stay inside now, some gullible ones will still b gallivanting...no forget say person wey get life, get hope,food go still dey...measure d food u eat,just try to b okay....we wld win this war, it's obvious we re not lazy..E go better...one naija...always pray too

Mariangeles:
The good news is, regardless of everything you've being through, God still loves you very much and can heal you from all your hurt and make you completely whole and happy again.

You have been hurt deeply, and left sore with a wound in your soul.
What they did to you was unforgivable, but you have to learn to forgive everyone that hurt you because that is where your own healing process starts.
Forgiveness might be hard for you because they took advantage of your innocence and stole your childhood, but that is where God's grace comes in.
You need to seek God first and everything will begin to fall into place.
Find yourself in God through His word.

.. Thanks... I will

babythug:
It’s fortunate that you’ve had to experience abuse at a tender age. Unfortunately Nigerians and Africans in general are only just becoming more vocal and aware of abuse to children. Since it’s somewhat new not every parent is equipped or has a know how on how to deal with this kind of situation. Again the average Nigerian parent is more bogged down by trying to survive and make the best for their offspring than providing emotional support.

Still what has happened to you though painful and sad is not the end of the world. What I mean is that you can rise above and should rise above.

If you are genuine about seeking help search out resources online. You’d find one or two support group and perhaps people who have shared thier stories that you can learn from.

At your age and as is common in many Nigerian homes your parents have certain expectations of you. These expectations include excelling academically and doing your share of the chores around the house. There’s no big deal to it and it’s a rite of passage more or less.

Your parents may have their shortcomings but you rise above by changing your mindset from victim to conqueror.

When you’re home assign yourself a task or chore and be diligent about it . It could be sweeping the entire house, washing the cars or fetching water. It all depends on the dynamic of your home. Ensure the generator is in top form ie remember to collect funds to purchase fuel for eg. Just take some bits on around the house. It’ll also help you assert yourself as a man and capable of being in charge.

I wish you all the best!

The abuse to b sincere is increasing drastically.. But pple re not talking.... The stigma is too much.... For me to write all these.... Tell someone today u we're abused, they will b looking at u one kind... I hate it... It pains me even more... It aches me... Thanks though

Otunba80:
Strange things are happening ooo, but why i never encounter such. I left my parents at the age of 15 when I finished my Ssce and since then i never think once returning der(living with them anymore) maybe am expose too early thats why i no take rubbish. I even Bleep those aunties for fun now and once a guy chat me up using dear i use to block him immediately instead of trying explaining rubbish to me. My advice to you is that you should mingle out with friends that are straight, don’t die in silence and don’t stay alone.

Hmmm, okay... Thanks Man... Really don't know how to make friends... I wld try... Thank u

Alot of pple like me, might need help too...
Pls help... U need my WhatsApp number to help... Just tell me

Hi, nairalanders, I'm victor... I would need help from u guys please, it might b lengthy, juwtvtry and read.. I might need advice as well.. Let me begin... Pls forget my English...
"Hmm, at my tender age, then wen I was based in Lagos with my parents.. I was sexually abused, I'm a guy though, we get abused too.... Actually I was abused by a lady, she lured me to do dirty things for her.. I mean alot of dirty things.. I was turned into a sex object even by guys as well... They had sex with me, ejaculated in me, I was used.. And then I was just 10-11 years... I had my frost sex... At that age too... I had lost my dignity even as a guy.. I felt useless at some point.. Even till now I'm suffering from that pain... This continued for a long time... Even when my dad was transferred to Benin, when I went for visit to a church member's house, d same thing again... I told myself maybe that's what I'm meant for in this life. I shed tears... Right now as imi'm writing, my heart aches me .... I was convinced not to tell my parents.. Imagine even threatened to kill me at my age.... I couldn't tell them... Even if I could I wouldn't... Because my parents re just too strict, they stand by what they say alone, saying theirs is d best... I don't like talking them till now... They don't advice, question ur every action... Every thing I learnt abt life... I learned it myself... Till d point I dislike dem... Especially dad... U can't talk in our house... It doesn't make sense and count... This made me to become. E stubborn at home... I was feeling the trauma of d abuse... Sometimes I feel like committing suicide, I was depressed, I became an introvert in d process, I don't talk, my performances in my studies dropped.. I was shattered... And my parents still never noticed.. They never asked Wat's wrong.. Concerned about my sis alone... I stopped doing things because of that for them.. And my dad is a minister... I'm feeling pains now with tears... It was just last year I had to tell them, I had to call on his friend.... Even while telling him... He was not even heart broken for wat I suffered... Even my mom.. He was telling me his life story... That he was almost raped... And bla bla... If he told me earlier... If he had been advicing me earlier.... Will I nor have sense to escape wat I suffered... I decided to b humble at home.... But I never tell them wat I'm suffering... Even after telling them.. I still feel d trauma... They don't still do anything or even advice.. They stopped giving me money except when I'm going to school that they will give... Sometimes I feel not part of d house and it makes me to fell like not doing anything. .. This story leads to a lot abt me... They re some things.. I won't write here... U can WhatsApp me
Pls help me... I can I let go of this trauma....
They complain I don't do things for them like ironingbhis clothes... Like I said... I don't like doing things for him... Will it affect me... I don't want my children to be like me... Will it make my children be like that to me....
I'm in uni, 100l .. I appreciate d fact they sent me to school... School is not enough.... If I didn't choose to study.... They never asked hw I'm faring, hw I study.. Their own is that as long a s they send d money...... But they want me to teach their daughter mathematics.. I won't.. Is it okay too...
Sometimes I feel not useful... Hw can I stop this feeling... Just advice me pls anyhow.. Anywhere... I'm Crestfallen, shattered... Pls help.. In tears now

Humanoid01:
Nothing about my post indicates that I'm defending her. Just because I didn't explicitly condemn her act doesn't mean I support it. Why didn't they just detain and hand her over to the police to do their job? What has her unclothedness got to do with this?

I tire o... Good one jare

Stillthebest:
Are you defending a thief!!! Is she different from looters!

Some countries in the East give looters death sentence

Has she not striped herself the moment she went to steal in the public??
Not what she can eat and have her starvation end but what people take for refreshment.

If she had stolen Rice or yam and I found her where she was about lynched, I would rescue her and still give her money! But not Milk!

She wanted to serve her little child... U talk like an illiterate sef.. I can't b quoting u....
Be in their position... U will do worst than that.. Nigerians. Sef

Humanoid01:
I still don't understand the rationale behind stripping people naked for stealing. Can't we hide our backwardness for once? See the way she's pleading for mercy. Don't the person who made the video and the other guy filming have a conscience, or they want to go home and self-service with it?

Those idiots that stripped her have probably done worse, they were just fortunate to not get caught. Bunch of hypocrites (I'm not even a fan of the word). Shet! my blood dey boil. This thing dey pain me.

I'm really pained by this.. Wat sort of nigerians re we gan sef... That begging was enough to touch their hearts.... Trying to feed her child for that matter. Inasmuch I don't support stealing... But come on my Nigerian brothers and sisters we could do better.... U stripped her naked again. . A mother... Even d government sef. Wack.... I bow my head in tears � ...

Imagine ur president saying... A, b, c... Like seriously ... Those of u that don't know alphabets learn from ur president o... Hahaha
What a broadcast... I nor hear anything...
Bmilirtrjalnxhhs... Is what I'm hearing...
Someone shld interpret oo
It doesn't give hope at all... Lemme watch aljazeera...jare

penzino:
Which flag be that

wondering o

BigBabyJesus:
lol

The man don get am.

That's why he isn't wearing face mask but his guests are.

That's logic....