Kelvin30286063:

You're right, PayPal do not receive payment to Nigeria, this is due to the abuse of yahoo Boys in the past. If you have a friend in the US then you don't have an issue, as long as you trust your friend. Just let him open the PayPal account and receive the money for you then he can in turn send it to you via western union, moneygram, RIA, transferwise or worldremit.
Caution: some people will soon come on your topic, offering to sell a US PayPal account for you. Don't buy, it will eventually get blocked and you may have money in it when it does.

Thank you for your advice.
I suspect that he doesn't want to go through the hassle of sending the money down to me continuously so I am looking for a way through which I can receive and access my money directly.

I was wondering, what if it is an American that is here in Nigeria for a while, can't he/she link a Nigerian bank account to the PayPal. I thought the issue was just with where the account is opened i.e the internet geo-location that shows on the account request.

Please I need more advice. Please Moderators, help a brother.

Good day everyone,

I recently decided to try doing some online jobs to make some income since I left paid employment. Most of the online jobs offered, require that I have a PayPal account for payment. I opened a PayPal account only to learn that they do not allow accounts opened in Nigeria to receive payments.

I reached out to a friend in the US to help me open an account and he asked how I would receive my money. I really don't know, I thought I could link either my dollar or Naira card to the account.

Please I require advice on how to receive payments via PayPal and how to access the money here in Nigeria. Please someone help out.

Thanks in anticipation.

MrHistorian:
Hey brother!

I just did a background check on your previous thread(s) and I noticed you were the one who created a thread some months ago about your girlfriend pressurizing you for marriage or she leaves.

Is it this same girl you are referring to in this your recent post?

And concerning your request if anyone has any online business you can be introduced to,I think you should check the business section on nairaland and read up on this Fiverr services.I heard it is genuine and lucrative.

Cc Philosophia

It is indeed me and it is infact the same girl.

Thank you sir for noticing. I believe you'd want a verification and an explanation as to what led to this.

Well here goes.

As adviced on the other issue, I wanted to call it all off and break all contact with her but I kind of maintained a cordial but non-commital relationship with her for the sake of the business which we started together. Unfortunately the business was already taking a dive as was our relationship and they basically hit the rocks at about the same time. I am not one to run or jump ship in a situation like that, so I basically managed to keep it running even at my expense for her sake because at one of the last meetings we held, I made it clear to her that I could not continue the business with her. I explained that once the rent we paid expired, that would be it for me.

She told me she had no intention of letting the business die, that she would source funds to renew the rent and gradually pay me off for my investments in assets for the business. I agreed to it thinking we had come to an amiable solution to the issue. I continued running the business so that there would not be a break-down of business before we transitioned to her sole proprietorship. When she became a continual no-show at the business premises (mind you, her presence had been erratic since 4 months into the business), I enquired as to the reason and she assured me that she was trying to source funds to implement our agreement. I let that be and gave her the benefit of doubt until it became clear to me that she was not serious or not seriuos enough about seeing through our agreement. Then I began to wind-down things and settle staff and see what things belonging to me I could sell off. I did not want my name dragged in the mud so I gradually wound-down things by myself. She only showed for a final meeting which I insisted on to be on the same page as regards what was her's and what was mine and she showed to move out her said "property".

I handled everything by myself. From ensuring staff were not owed, cleaning-up and clearing-out the entire building so that it is in good condition to hand over to the owner, to paying up all bills (power, refuse, etc). There were a lot of things to handle which I did.

Anyways to cut the story short, we broke-up and we are barely on speaking terms although I don't know what game she's playing by sending her siblings to enquire about me and try to fratenize with me.

As regards the advice on the business section, Thanks a lot for that. I'll check it out. I'm yet to get a hang on a lot of things on nairaland.

Cc MrHistorian

Y0ruba:
.

Firstly, are you seeking advise or some type of financial support?

Secondly, advices out of professional ones work best when placed vis a vis knowing someone personally. People here will only advise based on their level of intelligence & exposure not how much they know of your personality, ability, qualities & so on (this is why people get a plethora of suggestions on NL, even over a very simple matter).

I’ll suggest you meet your parents, siblings, trusted relatives, friends & colleagues who know you personally from relationships spanning a number of years. They’re in the best place to advise you, they know you and have your own interest at heart NOT strangers on a faceless forum.

I am seeking advice. Thanks thus far.

Hello Fam.

I need credible advice and help on the following issue.

I have been out of employment for a while now. I initially used what was left of my savings to start up a business with my girlfriend at the time.

However, the business turned out to be a waste of money. The main reasons I went into business were:
- It was largely my “girlfriend’s” idea and she needed a partner for finance and management.
- It was a social development centred business, something I wanted to do later on in my life.

She was convinced beyond doubt that the business would do well and blossom into a big enterprise. She managed to convince me to put in my time and resources into the business. I thought to myself that since it was something I wanted to do (even though) later, now that I had an opportunity to do it and with a partner who seemed all fired-up and who was close to me, I shouldn’t waste the opportunity. So, we rented a house (I contributed the lion-share of cash) through my links and put things together. I discovered that I was the one who came up with most administrative ideas that were implemented. She was more into dreaming and quarrelling over mundane things like colour of paint to be used in each office/room. It came to a point where I was the only one minding the business. I even to sleep in the office to save cash and go home only on weekends and there were several weekends in which I did not go home.

Well, fam the end of that business was that the rent expired and we couldn’t renew. I used most of the money I had left to settle staff and organise movement out of the property and the clean-up to hand back to the landlady. She refused to feature in that except to take the value of what she contributed in property i.e items bought at the office. We broke up. That was in December last year.

I travelled down to my Villa early-on this year for the burial of my Grandmother and was advised to chill there for a bit. I spent 3 weeks, got tired and returned back to Lagos. I am on the last tail of money left with me.

Before the sorry end of that business, I have tried getting writing gigs, analysis etc, online only to meet the wall of Paypal and Paypal verified account. I tried to resolve that with First Bank to no avail.

Since I got back I have applied to several job postings, sent my CV to numerous places with no positive results. I am getting frustrated.
Please can someone help me with a clear, uncomplicated and realistic way to make money online and/or a good paying job in writing, administration, customer service or entertainment related.

Please help a brother that is about to be totally broke. God bless you Fam.

Moderators please help me move it to the proper place If I posted wrongly. Thank you.

Cc MrHistorian
Rokia2
wristbangle
Freeman59

Bjrokenhear003:
i am going through that same fate but mine is different

i have over 3 million cash in bank, i am worth over 80 million with inherited properties from my late dad and investment in real estate i love this girl, she knows all my investment, i believed her till today she broke up with me because she said she cant be in a unstable emotionally relationship..."when she asked for finance somewhere and she knew my money tied into a an investment at that period, so couldnt give her, she said she would ask somewhere else, FUNNY ITS JUST 2K ITEM, i kept shut and never said anything to avoid issues, she then told me they were able to help her, i called her and she's its just my bad mind that didnt allow the ITEM to be transfered, i expalined to her, she broke up, already saw the signs that when i ping, she no reply me, she read chat and even though not call me and i have done lots more for her just because i was low at that period.

i wanted her to feel pain and called her my friend and said she should come pack her things, how will somebody i risk for be treating me so foolishly because of i love, she told me of her tenant hitting on her and i saw the way he looks at her earlier.

its not been easy just less than 24 hours i have cried my eyes out, just within a month i dont have much finance, a month investment, which she knows about she called it quit she needed a stable relationship.

i feel pained as i type this because somebody u feel u can go through lots to please her, planning to risk it all despite she older than me, yet she not feel the same about u & last week she promised me of her undying love for me and how i made her feel that she cant trade me for anything in this life, i wondered how my life is being fooled and cant sleep since 4am


here am i, taking solace to alchohol thats how some men would turn to a devil and girls be saying YORUBA DEMON, its people who bring out that demon wicked part in somebody life.

i feel like dying but knowing well i am the only son child of my mother i must pass through this phase and buy what makes me happy

i will buy my iphone 8 and my honda crosstour to be driving at least to make sure the car is my new babe during december

money isnt all... finding someone who is patient and can accommodate u is the KOKO, my lesson to u is not all about money sometimes u might have more than enough but she might feel she has lots of security and finance with another..

LOVE IS JUST A DECEIT..i can never go back to her with the way i feel

My brother, it is clear to me now that a lot of Nigerian females(young ladies) are seemingly misguided in their thinking or they have a convoluted thought process and tend to confuse themselves.

Note: I said "a lot" not "most" and not "all".

A lot do not seem to know what they want or have a plan for their lives. Seemingly prone to whims and caprices because they have yet to discover who they are, what they stand for, their scale of priority and a high sense of objective reasoning.

I thank the Nairaland community for continually dishing out to me hard truth and facts some of which I already knew. I guess I was caught-up in the web of conformist heterosexual dynamics which stole my heart and mind and numbed my faculty for objectivity.

I do not want to seem like a pro-advicer or guru. Afterall, I was only "saved" a breath ago. However, I do have some advice to dish out I guess to both of us(you and I).

My brother, if indeed you are ready to settle down, then I suggest you follow the following.....I was typing and I saw that it was too long so I decided to make it into a thread instead. Here: https://www.nairaland.com/4141745/some-steps-get-right-woman

Don't waste too much time feeling sorry for yourself. I went through my grieving process as fast as possible to still allow me some of that "energy" to turn my life around. You should do same.

UPDATE ON MY SITUATION:

I went through a process of rediscovering myself and giving myself a purpose again or picking up from where I was mentally etc. before the whole "episode" and I discovered that I really veered widely ofcourse.

So I held a meeting with her yesterday and I officially informed her that I would be pulling out from one of the businesses(the one that's doing very poorly, that will make us see eachother often, that was a sentimental mis-step) at the end of the year when the rent we jointly contributed(I paid more) expires.

When we were discussing on our relationship, she said she was only asking God for direction because indeed her wish is to get married, that there was nothing to her telling me about it. She just respected me that was why she told me..bla bla bla. She then started on how it was unprofessional to bring personal or emotional things to business. That she would still want me to be part of the business because...bla bla bla and bla. I told her my mind was made up and I thought it was a good decision.

She left the office very "cold". I felt just a little sorry for her because it is a huge financial burden. I had paid most of the rent the last time. I she will weather it because she is strong too. She's been through some sh¥t in her short life.

I do not hate her but I am a new man now, with a new motto.

I say to myself: Selah, verum est te ipsum ad finem.

Guy's I have been through a trying time in my life. It was short(5days) in fact, but the pain was deep and intense. I never told most people that my BP(Blood Pressure) shot up. I am only 27+ but my readings were off the chart. Actually, moderate Hypertension was the prognosis.

I posted my challenge here: https://www.nairaland.com/4138352/girlfriend-hit-me-sudden-news . Thanks to a lot of guys and ladies in the nairaland community, I rediscovered something I knew but lost or forgot in a moment(3yrs+) of "temporary" lapse in judgement.

NEVER ENTER INTO A RELATIONSHIP WHEN YOU ARE NOT READY AND WITHOUT DEFINING IT

This write-up is for conscientious guys who are sure that they are ready to settle down and have a family or sure that they will soon be ready.

In our world and country where values and value systems are all skewed and amongst "us" young men and ladies, you find a lot of screwed-up people. It has become a complex and almost wholly intentional process for young mature ready-to-marry men and women, to find a worthy and compatible companion to settle-down with. I was thinking to myself about this and I came up with this idea of steps or a process to be followed to achieve that.

This is mainly for the men, but it can be tweaked a little to create a female representation. I am not a master as I said and was only saved recently but I do hope this makes sense to some people.

1. Create your model woman. Define her characteristics: Physical, Maturity(mental, emotional, psychological etc), Character, Financial(disposition to money, independence etc), kind of family etc. Basically construct a model of her from top to bottom.

2.Then decide your tolerable percentage deficit i.e what percentage can you manage based on the difference between the lady you meet(candidate for a wife) and your model lady. Can you manage 50%, 60% etc.

3. Set realistic and achieveable tests and stages to ascertain how well a "candidate" matches your model. I believe there are certain things you'd easily notice/know from just spending a few hours with "a candidate" or after asking a few questions, and you'll know that there is no way she'd meet the acceptable mark you seek.

4. Set a time frame for figuring it all out. Give yourself a deadline to carry out thorough scrutinization to find out her percentage score for each of the attributes, from when she's actually on board i.e [when she has passed the "benefit of doubt" stage or the stage where you ascertain if she has any or most of the attributes you seek (maybe stage 1 or 2)] to when you can relax a bit and ease into the heart involvement phase.

5. After you have elapsed the deadline and you are pretty sure and ok with her score, still give a little time (injury time) when you get out of your head a bit. Use this time to watch with your heart and intuition to see if she has been putting up an act.

6. When all is said and done and achieved, Get on your knees and propose.

I have heard you all. What a community!

Indeed, I need to take my life and destiny in my own hands and rediscover myself. It's a lesson well learnt and harshly taught, but I guess I have graduated from that class of experience.

Time to reassess myself and future and set new goals. I leave it all in the hands of God.

Thanks a lot people. May God bless you all abundantly and help you to make wise decisions about your lives. Amen!

Hey guys. Thanks a lot.

I don't want to seem like a stupid person or what not. But I am in a confusion like I have never been in.

I slept on this issue. And my mind was troubled through out the night. I find it hard to really believe or accept that she would be seeing another guy right now. The reason is that she has been in several situations where guys would try to hit on her and start up something but she'd shut them down and tell me about it and we would laugh over it.

I remember that atimes I would read stories off nairaland about relationship troubles to her and we would discuss it. She would always give sound and very mature advice. And I would thank my stars for having met such a wise and conscientious girl.

I am thinking, is it possible she just wants to wake me from my seeming "slumber" to take life more seriously and make things happen faster generally? Or Does she expect me to get my act together ASAP and step to the plate to fulfill her desire?

She's the type that would think up an idea this minute and 3 mins later, she's doing it while I would take a bit more time to think the idea through. She has gotten me to take decisions faster in past by pulling up some stunt. Some of the decisions were ok while some others, I still regret till date.

I don't want to be in a haste. I want to follow her as smartly as possible so I don't loose out unnecessarily. Sometimes I fear she is smarter than me in "things of the world". She obviously has more experience, as this is her third relationship and my first.

What do you think?

MrHistorian
Wristbangle
PrimadonnaO
People with experience

Wow! Thanks for all the love and advice.

Thank you lalasticlala.

I am glad I brought this here. Thank you too to my good friend who asked me to bring it here. You don't want me to name you, so I won't.

I have learnt so much because I decided to share tonight. I feel much better. Before logging in now, I just called her to say goodnight in my usual way.

I asked how she was and she said fine and returned the question. I said I was "just there". She asked why and I told her that her decision got me into a bad place. She then asked "My decision is a good one now, not so?". I told her that I am not sure it is a good decision. Her tone changed and she told me that it was not my place to be sure about her decision. She said it was her decision to make and she was sure about it. I got a bit angry, but I calmed myself and told her as I usually do that I love her. She said a simple ok and goodnight.

If not for the advice I have gotten here, I would have gone on to ask her why she is acting the way she is. But I did not, I just goodnight and hung up.

It is clear to me now what you guys have been saying. I know her to be quite stubborn but this time around, something more is giving her impetus.

I will study all your advice and create a good path to exit as gracefully as I can. Thank you all. It is well.

Thanks Rokia2, wristbangle, freepop, danladi7, fayded and ilekokonit and others that commented before.

You guys have really saved a life tonight. I'm so glad I brought this here. God bless you all. Thank you all for your advices. I feel better but I have to sleep on it.

My head aches and my vision is blurry but my heart is less heavy.
I will still fast and do whatever prayers I can if not for revelation, atleast to put the situation into God's hands. I don't think God is a God of injustice and I will not be guilty of not doing what she has advised me to do. Since she said she did it, I need to as well.

Thank you all. I will update you as things progress.

ifypromise:
I know it hurts so much but trust me, you will be fine. when you feel like everything is working against you, just remember that God is up to something.

What kind of prayer am I supposed to pray?

So many things have crossed my mind. Is she seeing someone? But she assures me that she's not seeing anyone. Is she just looking for a fresh start? What did I do terribly wrong?

I am so confused. I called her, maybe to get direction or to hear something else. I'm not sure. She is advising me to fast and pray about it to get direction on what to do. She said she has prayed and fasted and she was told to prepare her mind for marriage.

I do not want to loose her but I don't know how I am supposed to do that. What is that supposed to achieve for me?

I am so lost.

kunlesufyan:
First she said she has somethings to achieve, now she wants to get married. She even gave a deadline.

Her body language has changed also.

Brace up bro, she will drop a bomb on you soon.

AntiWailer:
Let her go if u are not ready.

Don't waste her time.

.

stupidity:
When I see or hear a lady talk about settling down(which is what every lady wants at early age) and a nigga is trying to use love to tie her down, I feel like breaking the niggas head.

If my babe shows up this Minute with an invitation card to her wedding, I might not attend but I'll wish her well.

Every ladys wish is to get married, not when old but when young. Forget all the struggle you two been involved. Forget all what you did for her, let her move on.


But waten go pain me be say, if after leaving me and she's still not married two years later.

ScotFree:
Let her go bro. You're not financially ready. Plus you still think it's not time yet. Another point is, she has found someone. Or her family has intoduced a man to her and she has given in to her parent's pressure. This is a fact. That's the only reason she is shying away from you now. You can't hold her back, don't try to. She will hate you for it if you try to spoil things for her when you aren't ready yourself.

Lesson to learn: Don't invest unwisely in a business that doesn't have a future. The wise ones know what i mean

Headlesschicken:
Always put You first,and always make sure Yuh bank account x large b4 u start dating,women need serious financial security, money x d life line of every serious relationship phuck d love man,love doesn't put food on d table @ d end of d day,you have groomed her well,now x tym for u to let another n!gga reap d benefits, n wen x Yuh turn to settle down u snatch someone else's ,so x d circle of life,cheer up man...

Thanks for your comments sirs.

ifypromise:
I know it hurts so much but trust me, you will be fine. when you feel like everything is working against you, just remember that God is up to something.

MrHistorian:

I understand you perfectly brother.

That's why it's very difficult nowadays to be committed to any relationship that might take a retrogressive turn when one least expects.

My Advice for you now is to find a way of rescheduling a meeting and have a heart-to-heart with her.You have to let her know you aren't ready for what she's initiating.Let ger know she can move on as long as she's still being resolute and you wish her a happy life ahead.

Make sure you do this with a very firm way without allowing your emotions betray you.Her responses will go a long way at unravelling her real intentions.

And please...don't feel dejected!

Thank you very much

[img][/img]

What you guys are saying is the hardest thing for me to do right now. It is hard to even contemplate. My hands are even shaking as I type this.

MrHistorian:
You've written well.No surprises you worked in a Magazine company.

Now to your story,I will castigate you for over-investing in a lady you are not officially betrothed to.Thank God you acknowledged that and must have learnt from it.However,her sudden change in character might not be unconnected to the following points;;;

FINANCIAL INSTABILITY
Since you lost your job and have being financially crippled to meet her demands unlike before when you shower her with unrequested gifts.She "might" be a too materialistic lady who finds it very difficult to adjust with situations thus her sudden excuse of getting too late to marry just to find a mutual way of breaking up with you afterall she believes there are other rich suitors awaiting her.

REMOUNTING PARENTAL/SOCIETAL PRESSURE
Your Post claimed that her parents didn't give an approval of your relationship at first which makes it easier for her to pull up any action that might endanger your relationship with her since her parents approval of you was sluggish and not entirely wholeheartedly.Also,The recent proliferation of pre wedding pictures on the cyber space and other related social platform might just have triggered her obsession witj getting married as at this time irrespective of the opposing odds.

Thank you so much.

My brother, I will be candid with you. My biggest problem is that I love this lady with my beign. She is the only girlfriend I have ever had. 3years. I have often visualized our life together. We talked about family, kids, everything.

I am an introvert, who hardly gets close to people. I am a guy that usually doesn't give a Bleep unless I want to. But this stuff hit me. It hit me where it hurts. As I type this tears are springing from my eyes. I'm trying to stop but it hurts.

My whole life just seems useless. I don't know exactly what to do. I feel lost.

Hello Romancelanders,

Please help me! I have a very serious issue on my hands. I opened this account because of this, for advice from you. It's actually a long story, but I will try to keep it short.

I have been in a relationship with my gf for 3yrs+ now. We had both not been ready for marriage at the time. She said she had things that she wanted to achieve so she would give herself 5yrs. I felt the same way too but I was looking at my age to settle down as 29 or 30. She was almost 21 at the time, I was 24 at the time.

When I met her she was a shaken, frightened, stubborn and love-starved young lady. Her parents were trying to force into marriage with a "family friend's" son whom she did not like plus she was not ready to settle down at the time. Her father is a retired military man and would use extreme measures like locking her up in a room for days. Anyways, I supported her in everyway I could at the time even at a time meeting the so-called "family friend's" son. I did not intend to get into a relationship at the time but certain things happened and I began to fall in love with her plus she needed love and care so badly. She is a very smart, motivated and beautiful young lady.

We got into a relationship and with time, the pressure as regards marrying the guy died or so I thought. From then till now, we have both been striving hard to make things get better. She was trying to run a business while I was working at a small magazine company. Unfortunately I admit, even though I was not earning much at the magazine, I was careless with my finances. I would spend on her, us and on a couple of mundane things but the bulk was on her and us.

Well, the financial crunch hit and I lost my job being owed several months in back-salary. I had very little savings. Things were not going too well with her in her business either. And so what little savings I had plus borrowed money from my parents joined with her own funds(including borrowed money), we started a business. We have been almost a year into the business now. Things are so dull. She hardly comes to the office anymore. I manage to go with little funds raised from teaching at minor places plus my parents support. We have been trying a "new" field though which seems a bit positive.

You have the back story now. Here is the problem.

Of recent, her body language and speech + whatsapp chat seemed to be dodgy, non-committal and atimes even coated with disdain. I knew something was wrong. I had wanted to talk to her and she said she wanted to discuss something with me as well, but she had basically refused to show-up when I call her out. Well, I was not so much a fan of going to her house because of chances of meeting her mum plus her several siblings But I braved it and showed up at her house on Sunday. I asked her what the matter was.

She told me of how her family was pressuring her and almost everyone she met was telling her to try and settle down. She said how she knows that I am not ready to settle down anytime soon. She said she had been praying about it and she has received an answer that she should settle down and that she do so before this time next year. She wants to get married before her birthday. People, she said several things and I said several things and I walked out angrily and dazed but I just gave the highlight of the issue. I could not wrap my head properly around it for a while but later I calmed down and I asked her a few questions.

It seems her mind is made up on marriage. She says she would prefer if it was me because she loves me, but if not, it is the will of God. She said some other things. I am just dazed and I don't know how to take it or how to act or what to do.

My life is not where I want it to be. I don't have the resources to turn things around right now. I am in a quagmire. Please Help!