₦airaland Forum

Honestly guys, this was created out of my boredom. Can we generate a list of things to do when you are bored.
1. Make silly posts on Nairaland Forum and social network.
2. I can't do it alone...

You have no idea, I have a strong belief it has to do with rituals and there are Alhajis that will pay anything for it

Lol. Chisos, wiariz dat ur friend let me knock him!

Who is he pretending 4?? See money abeg

i wish i was ur friend i wont even tink about anyting, no be to just open smelling ynash den become a bloody millionare but OP dis ur story smells Lie-ish, 10,000dollars just to have sex wit ur fellow man?? Lol,learn to work on ur lieing skills[/quote]You have no idea, I have a strong belief it has to do with rituals and there are Alhajis that will pay anything for it

A friend of mine from school met this Alhaji, who has been very nice and generous. In a couple of months he become large spending on virtually everything. He said this Alhaji promised to introduce him to some business that we will make him blow and he will give him 3% of one of his filling stations the moment he graduates. At the end of last month the Alhaji sent him N450,000 flat I saw this Shit with my eyes. And just a couple of days ago he met me and told me that the Alhaji is demanding sex with him and he is offering $10,000 after the sex. He said to call him when he has made up his mind.
I knew something was fishy about this Alhaji but this came as a surprise to me. I was speechless.
Guys, what would you do if you were in his shoes because he seemed really confused.

That's just sweet. you make me wanna do this

Here in Jos, Plateau state the Christain and Muslim community have lived apart ever since the beginning of the ethno-religious crises. However, I have somehow become good friends with a Muslim sister from school...I have never met someone so polite, gentle and nice. We've kept in touch to a reasonable extent, sometimes she has to remind me that our calls are interfering with her prayer time. We probably beginning to like each other very much.
She will occasionally ask me to come pay her a visit and meet her elder sister and her husband whom she stays with. Lately, she's insisted that I visit her. she wants me to come today at 4pm, after which we could go out somewhere and I accepted. Knowing this could turn out to be date and something serious. The problem as many of my friends have tagged it, is that she stays in a Muslim dominated area, where I can get beheaded and nobody will ever know. I know this girl will not harm me but my friends said, it's her sister's husband that will butcher me... they all think am insane because am preparing to visit this girl.
A lot of people have and may criticize my actions and label it unwise. but before the time I want to know sort ur opinion about dating a Muslim girl or guy, and for my Muslim brothers and sisters can u date a Christain sister or brother?

For decades, I see a lot of people trying to move Nigeria forward but nothing seem to be moving forward. so I say how about we move Nigeria backwards. Why? I know an old adage that said, "When a child trips, he continues to run, but when an elder trips he goes back to understand what made him fall". In the same way, Nigeria should go back to when things were better and understand where and when it went wrong and why and what went wrong with the country. And to do a damn thing about it. Nigeria should use her past to correct the present and guide her future. Else, we all going down.

MY WIFE DOES NOT WORK!
Conversation between a Husband (H) and a
Psychologist (P):
P : What do you do for a living Mr. Bandy?
H : I work as an Accountant in a Bank.
P : Your Wife ?
H : She doesn’t work. She’s a Housewife only.
P : Who makes breakfast for your family in the
morning?
H : My Wife, because she doesn’t work.
P : At what time does your wife wake up for
making breakfast?
H : She wakes up at around 5 am because she
cleans the house first before making breakfast.
P : How do your kids go to school?
H : My wife takes them to school, because she
doesn’t work.
P : After taking your kids to school, what does
she do?
H : She goes to the market, then goes back home
for cooking and laundry. You know, she doesn’t
work.
P : In the evening, after you go back home from
office, what do you do?
H : Take rest, because i’m tired due to all day
works.
P : What does your wife do then?
H : She prepares meals, serving our kids,
preparing meals for me and cleaning the dishes,
cleaning the house then taking kids to bed.
Whom do you think works more, from the story
above
The daily routines of your wives commence from
early morning to late night. That is called
‘DOESN’T WORK’??!!
Yes, Being Housewives do not need Certificate of
Study, even High Position, but their ROLE/PART is
very important!
Appreciate your wives. Because their sacrifices are
uncountable.
Please share with your family. Have a nice day

StarFist:
I don't think so

Thanks for ur opinion

Elslim:
Yes... especially MouthAction... d juice from d kity-cat tneds to fertilize beardless region

Gross, what's he talking about?

Elslim:
Yes... especially MouthAction... d juice from d kity-cat tneds to fertilize beardless region

Gross, what's he talking about?

Enegod:
Take male hormones. You were probably by nature meant to be a girl but as fate had it, you barely came out as male... that's why it's just hard for you to grow a beard and other things attributed to real men....

whatever nigga

YUNGLURD:
Is all abt the gene, u dnt want to believe all u read on the internet.

Thanks man a lot of people say that too

Am aware a lot of post on the internet are very misleading. Am a beardless old man still looking 17... so I turned to google for answers. Over the internet there were alot of suggestions on how to grow beards and having sex frequently was what really got my attention. Haven't really had sex and had even resisted or turned down sex. This got me thinking could I have had more beards If I had had sex. Just asking
Experienced and matured minds,am turning to you guys for answers.

kestolove95:
Dix igbo man again?

Mehn you are violating rule no.3
3. Don't THREATEN, advocate, or encourage violent
acts against any person, tribe, race, animals, or
group.

A 53-year-old pastor who reportedly
impregnated 20 members of congregation
claims the Holy Spirit ordered him to
have s*x with them.
Nigerian police have now arrested
Timothy Ngwu for abusing the young girls
and women at Vineyard Ministry of the
Holy Trinity.
Ngwu’s abusive behavior was
finally reported to the police by his
estranged wife Veronica who grew tired
of his adulterous behavior – and
reportedly impregnated her young niece.
A spokesperson for the Enugu
State Police command told The Punch he
claims to be obeying the ‘spiritual’ urge to
carry out the will of God, ‘irrespective of
whether the woman is married or not.’
Ebere Amaraizu added: ‘When the
woman is delivered of the baby, the child
remains in the ministry with the mother
for life.’
Ngwu told the same website he has 13
children with five different wives and the
mistresses God’s ‘prophetic’ will told him
to acquire.
He also claims he never had s*x with any
married woman unless their husbands
consented to the Holy Spirit’s request.
Calista Omeje and Assumpta Odo both left
their husbands to live with the pastor
based on these holy commands.
Mother-of-eight Odo said Ngwu
impregnated both her and her daughter,
whose age is not known.
And Calista – who has 10 children with
her husband – said the pastor
impregnated her but the baby died. She
also revealed that she ‘gave’ her daughter
to him.
The pastor’s brother – who did not want
to be identified – said he had warned
both Ngwu and his family about the self-
proclaimed clergyman’s behavior for a
long time but they refused to listen.
He claims the arrest is ‘God’s wrath
falling on his brother’, adding: ‘God’s
anger has befallen my brother, we have
severally appealed to him to stop what he
was doing but he refused.
‘He has colonised our compound, bearing
children with recklessness. He accused us
of being jealous of him because he is
doing the will of God.’
Pointing at the church’s compound, he
continued: ‘Look at these buildings here…
He has converted all of them to himself in
the name of vineyard.
‘He sacked his betrothed wife who has
three children for him and embarked on
impregnating married women and young
girls. Look at the whole compound
littered with children of different s*x and
age.’
‘All members of the vineyard are fools,
how can a woman abandon her husband
for another man in the name of
worshiping God and practice adultery? I
cannot get myself involved in this matter.
‘Let them sort themselves out with the
police but I want the ministry to be shut
down completely,’ he added.’
Source: The Punch

Kudos nigga u dropped the problem and solution am Impressed. So ama ask you to confirm the situation be sure she is cheating and talk things out and it doesn't work sex starve her, beat her ass, batter her face and divorce the LovePeddler. sorry she is ur wife

rittyben:
Channel this anger to the right source dear.

Yo girl where else am I suppose to drop this other than here.

I was attracted by the words "single mother", because it's kinda related to my project. Firstly, how are u gonna disrespect the idea of single mothers by narrowing it to some lady without patience, self control and complete disregard for the societal norms and values. To be more realistic than judgemental, marriage and family is a social value in the Nigerian culture. So deviating from the approved procedures of having a child is a shame. Am more provoked by ur limited idea of single mother because my mother has been a single mother for 15yrs with 5kids there are so many more like girls who had be sexually harassed and are living with that, widows with 6-9kids and even newly wedded whose husband left them with 2-3kids and all the responsibilities. And u come here trying to justify ur silly deviant behaviour and the consequences package that came with it. Yeah we all make mistakes but don't be magnifying urs like it the worst in the world.


Secondly, how u respect the challenges of single mothers like that... narrowing it to the psychological effects u suffering for ur deviant behaviour?
Girls am pissed better start putting ur brains to better use. start thinking. A single mothers challenges are far greater than that.

If it's my wife ama slap out the Shit outta her

Job seekers check this out. http:///1677e4f8

A pastor snatched my girlfriend

Job seekers check this out. http:///1677e4f8

Job seekers check this out. http:///1677e4f8

Job seekers check this out. http:///1677e4f8

I heard abt this man who went to a real fancy
church, all these churches for the first class people,
churches that u got to showup with ur Range Rover
or Ferrari for N120million, he walked in on a Sunday
morning, wearing a T-shirt and a jeans with a
bathroom slippers and an old hat and sat down of
the 2nd row. And offcourse much of the
congregation were critical and fastidious abt him, so
after the service the pastor pulled him aside and
told him that he really need to ask God how to
dress before returning to his church. The next week
he returned to the church the same way, so the
pastor scolded him saying, this man i thought i told
to ask God how to dress before coming to this
church and the man said, well, i asked God but He
said He doesn't know because He's never been to
this church. Lets quit judging by their exterior.
Some pple look like a saint on the outside but on
the inside they are full poison, pride, like a pharisee
they look down on people. But I have known some
people who are very simple but they are the nicest
and warmest people i have ever met and i know
they have a pure heart towards God. What's going
on in the inside is more important than what people
see on the outside. That gal that dresses
inappropriately and u called a LovePeddler, a bitch is the
gal i will rather have in my church every Sunday
morning than have her be in a club or the street
somewhere, because it only through showing
acceptance and giving them some room that there
can be a change in their lives. Remember not
everybody had ur own type of background and so
pple must be different. So that shouldnt be a reason
to judge them and not be kind or to shut them out
and put our walls up. I walk into a place knowing
that not everybody will accept or like me, and i cant
like everybody, but i try to be as nice as i can. - Phoenix

Boys 32 behaving 12

nenyibabs:
Not to burst your bubble, but you don't have the correct definition for 'feminist'. Don't confuse feminist with man-hater.

OK thanks, I guess we could use ur help...

zick19:
That number 5 reminds me of one of my exes.... Just after 1week of meeting her, miracles has started happening.

Lol Bad guy

cutieberie1:
hmmm nyc 1 op..

Thanks

vjsmiles:
NICE PIECE..
HAPPY SUNDAY

Thanks

Girls are amazing, beautiful and altogether
wonderful creatures....well, at least for the most
part. Yet, there are others who are nothing but a
disaster. There isn't just one type of
woman that is right for every guy. However, there
are certain categories of women that pose a
mental hazard to your sanity and should be
avoided at all costs.
Hope am not spoiling anybody's market.

1) The High Maintenance Type
Her daddy always told her that she is a princess,
but she took that way too far. Not only will she
constantly keep you busy taking care of all her
needs, she can also cost you your every penny. She
has an expensive taste and wants you to shower
her with equally expensive gifts. She expects you
to take her to only posh places and there's no
way she'll go to a pub to have beer. Guy that's a no go area if your father is not a politician.
2) The Overtly-Critical Type
Anything you do for this woman is simply not
good enough. She simply loves to hate you.
Nothing seems to work unless it is done
according to her standards. A word of joke and
it will be quickly taken out of context to become
some sort of insult or some reason to wage war
against you. With constant critique and
misery, this one will make you an angry and bitter
person in the end. I speak from experience.
3) The Feminist
She was born to empower, enlighten and save
women from the chauvinistic men on earth. And
mind you, she can't be pleased by any man. She
firmly believes that men are the biggest plague of
the society. She is also biased as she believes
women are far more superior and intelligent
creatures than men. Run for your life if you don't want endless arguments and fighting.
4) The Bitter Girl
This woman is quick to let you know that
everything sucks, and how she's mistreated by
everyone in society. Her life seems to be a never-
ending series of unfortunate events. However, your
real nightmare begins when you start to feel a
little bogged down and betrayed by the world
yourself, and your once-positive nature gets
overwhelmed by her perpetually gloomy outlook.
I once read abt a man who decided to listen to the problems of another man who was suicidal and after two hours of telling him they both committed suicide.
5) The Emotional Fools
It's only been a month of courtship and she has
already started making marriage plans and opening her legs! You don't
know her so well, but she feels she has known
you enough and doesn't care how you feel about
it. She's so attached to you that she starts
observing fasts for you! And, before you have the
chance to say anything, she brings up the 'M'
word again. She traps you emotionally and there's
no way out then. Sense this type better not start. I used to know one like that they will pest your life.

For my guys this list is not complete if I haven't added the last but not the least.
The Broke Girl
You collected her contact today and when you called because you guys talked some 21minutes she was like guy you are boxed send me credit. Met one like that I sent the credit and never called her again