₦airaland Forum

Abeg move that scrap aside wait let GMB assume office and see

Lol funny huh? Now get back to work lol

1.2 billion liters of petrol? Imagine the damage this will do to the atmosphere. Electric car is the way jo.

This is deep as shi't. Deep sh.it. I will be back

I dey come make I reach office first

Thought this should be worth sharing.

During a robbery in Guangzhou, China, the bank robber shouted to everyone in the bank: "Don't move. The money belongs to the State. Your life belongs to you."

Everyone in the bank laid down quietly. This is called "Mind Changing Concept” Changing the conventional way of thinking.

When a lady lay on the table provocatively, the robber shouted at her: "Please be civilized! This is a robbery and not a rape!"

This is called "Being Professional” Focus only on what you are trained to do!

When the bank robbers returned home, the younger robber (MBA-trained) told the older robber (who has only completed Year 6 in primary school): "Big brother, let's count how much we got."

The older robber rebutted and said: "You are very stupid. There is so much money it will take us a long time to count. Tonight, the TV news will tell us how much we robbed from the bank!"

This is called "Experience.” Nowadays, experience is more important than paper qualifications!

After the robbers had left, the bank manager told the bank supervisor to call the police quickly. But the supervisor said to him: "Wait! Let us take out $10 million from the bank for ourselves and add it to the $70 million that we have previously embezzled from the bank”.

This is called "Swim with the tide.” Converting an unfavorable situation to your advantage!

The supervisor says: "It will be good if there is a robbery every month."

This is called "Killing Boredom.” Personal Happiness is more important than your job.

The next day, the TV news reported that $100 million was taken from the bank. The robbers counted and counted and counted, but they could only count $20 million. The robbers were very angry and complained: "We risked our lives and only took $20 million. The bank manager took $80 million with a snap of his fingers. It looks like it is better to be educated than to be a thief!"

This is called "Knowledge is worth as much as gold!"

The bank manager was smiling and happy because his losses in the share market are now covered by this robbery.

This is called "Seizing the opportunity.” Daring to take risks!

So who are the real robbers here?

holluwai:
Exactly!

By the way what you need a sniper rifle for? Haha

Cu some ppl need to be taken out

Ok the igwe must hear this too

Nooo the igww must hear this

Whatever! Na today Yansh get center parting?

Eggcelent:
I couldn't even after following the instruction. Neither could my wife.

All u need do is squint ur eyes a bit u should be able to read it.

This is awesome.

could this be for real?

"Finally, we have a Comparative Photo to buttress the point we have been trying to make with Jonathan's Kneeling activity at RCCG Camp,Lagos."

"The Proper and SPIRITUALLY BEFFITING Posture is the one on the Left. The alternative could have been BOTH MEN on their knees BEFORE GOD."

"The Posture on the Right depicts Gross Stupidity, Acute Spiritual Foolishness and Unforgivable Disorderliness on the part of both Men especially the President!"

"I can say it anywhere!"

Becky is that u?

Sefini!

Haaa

Lol

Tha hell is this? They could have just bought him a fucking Armored Tank instead

Don't give urself sleepless night it's very unlikely she wrote that. And if actually she did, then I trust the General to discipline her.

bewla:
2 things involve

What and what?

boolet:
Very smart kid. More in touch with reality than his dad.

If that kid was my kid, I'd give him a long bear hug and told him I love him.

This dad was about to leave the house when he passed by his son Jake’s room, he was astonished to see everthing was off the floor and the bed was even nicely made. Then, he quickly noticed an envelope, propped up on the pillow. It was addressed on the front with, ‘Dad’. Very nervous, he opened the envelope and read the letter, with hands trembling…

“Dear, Dad. It is with great regret and sadness that I’m writing you. But I had to elope with my new girlfriend Tracy, because I wanted to avoid a scene with you and Mom . I’ve been finding real passion with Tracy. She is so kind, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing’s (she has six!), tattoos, her tight Motorcycle clothes, and because she is ten years older than I am. But it’s not only the passion, Dad. She’s pregnant. Tracy said that we will be very happy living together. She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children. Not only that she has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want. In the meantime, we’ll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Tracy can get better. She sure deserves it! So Don’t worry, I’m 16, and I know how to take care of myself. Someday, I’m sure we’ll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren. Love, your son, Jake. P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I went with Todd to Target to get some video games. I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report card that’s on the kitchen table. Call me when it is safe for me to return home!”

SammyHoe:
Court case doesn't come to conclusion within few months of bringing it up. Be rest assured the case will be adjourned till thy kingdom come. So, Buhari will be on seat and the case will die off after May 29.

It might come out exactly the way u put it but, what if it's a contingency plan by the GEJ administration to shelve itself from being the reason for not handing over to GMB? We all know how corrupt the judiciary could be

Imagine come April 22 the court decide to declare GMB ineligible to contest the election in the first place?

GEJ pre election activities portrays a rather desperate man who's hell bent to hang on power forever. I'm seeing deceit and a well planned strategy in place to absorb GEJ from being the one or the reason to institute an interim government. Remember they once said they rather hand over to the military than allow GMB rule over Nigeria. So, let's sit back, relax and watch how it all plays out on 22nd April. My take.

Giving the current state of the economy, how realistic is The Manifesto of the purportedly winner of the just concluded election?

APC Manifesto
NATIONAL SECURITY
• Urgently address capacity building of law enforcement agents in terms of quantity and quality as this is critical in safeguarding the sanctity of lives and property;
• Establish a well-trained, adequately equipped and goals driven Serious Crime Squad to combat terrorism, kidnapping, armed robbery, militants, ethno-religious and communal clashes nationwide;
• Begin widespread consultations to amend the Constitution to enable States and Local Governments to employ State and Community Police to address the peculiar needs of each community. This would mean setting boundaries for Federal, State and Community Police through new Criminal Justice legislation to replace the Criminal Code, the Penal Code and the Police Act.
• Push for more support in the security and economic stability of the sub-region [ECOWAS] and AU as a whole and maintain a strong, close and frank relationship with West Africa, South Africa, UK, USA, Canada, and other African countries.
CONFLICT RESOLUTION, NATIONAL UNITY, SOCIAL HARMONY
• Establish a Conflict Resolution Commission to help prevent, mitigate and resolve civil conflicts within the polity;
• Bring permanent peace and solution to the Niger Delta and other conflict prone areas such as Plateau, Taraba, Bauchi, Borno and Abia in order to engender national unity and social harmony;
• Initiate policies to ensure that Nigerians are free to live and work in any part of the country by removing state of origin, tribe, ethnic and religious affiliations and replace those with state of residence.
JOB CREATION AND THE ECONOMY
• Maintain sound macro-economic policy environment, run an efficient government and preserve the independence of the Central Bank;
• Restore and strengthen financial confidence by putting in place a more robust monitoring, supervising and regulating of all financial institutions;
• Make our economy one of the fastest growing emerging economies in the world with a real GDP growth averaging 10% annually;
• Embark on vocational training, entrepreneurial and skills acquisition scheme for graduates along with the creation of Small Business Loan Guarantee Scheme to create at least 1 million new jobs every year, for the foreseeable future;
• Integrate the informal economy into the mainstream and prioritize the full implementation of the National Identification Scheme to generate the relevant data;
• Expand domestic demand and consider undertaking associated public works programmes;
• Embark on export and production diversification including investment in infrastructure; promote manufacturing through agro based industries and expand sub-regional trade through ECOWAS and AU;
• Make Information Technology, Manufacturing, Agriculture and Entertainment key drivers of our economy;
• Balance the economy across regions by the creation of 6 new Regional Economic Development Agencies (REDAs) to act as champions of sub-regional competitiveness;
• Put in place a N300bn regional growth fund (average of N50bn in each geo-political region) to be managed by the REDAs, encourage private sector enterprise and support to help places currently reliant on the public sector;
• Amend the Constitution and the Land Use Act to create freehold/leasehold interests in land along with matching grants for states to create a nationwide electronic land title register on a state by state basis;
• Create additional middle-class of at least 2 million new home owners in our first year in government and 1 million annually thereafter; by enacting a national mortgage system that will lend at single digit interest rates for purchase of owner occupier houses.
AGRICULTURE AND FOOD SECURITY
• Modernize the sector and change Nigeria from being a country of self-subsistence farmers to that of a medium/commercial scale farming nation/producer;
• Create a nationwide food inspectorate division with a view to improving nutrition and eliminating food-borne hazards;
• Inject extra N30bn to the Agricultural sector to create more agro-allied jobs by way of loans at nominal interest rates for capital investment on medium and commercial scale cash crops;
• Guarantee a minimum price for selected crops and facilitate storage of agricultural products as and when necessary.
INDUSTRIALIZATION
• Formulate a robust industrialization policy and provide a conducive environment for a private sector led industrial base for the economy, promote entrepreneurship that would help usher in new industries, new jobs, new knowledge and utilization of information and communication technologies;
• Create growth centers through the promotion of industrialization in all regions by encouraging the use of local resources.
• Promote innovation by investing heavily in research, development, science and technology.
• Support diversification of our economy from export of primary materials to value added goods through supporting the establishment of a solid industrial base.
• Ensure that key agricultural products such as cocoa and rubber go through value addition as opposed to exporting raw materials for industries in other countries.
WHERE TO VOTE
• Voting takes place at polling stations/units.
• A voter is expected to cast his vote at the polling unit where his name is on the voter register.
• A voter is expected to identfy his polling station where his name is on the voter register.
• A polling unit nearest to the residence of the voter.
INFRASTRUCTURE
• Undertake an urgent review of the Public Private Partnership(PPP) enabling environment with a view to addressing the legal, regulatory and operational challenges including introducing enabling legislation where necessary. In addition, we shall create a National Infrastructural Development Bank to provide loans at nominal interest rates exclusively for this sector to help rebuild our infrastructure and provide gainful employment;
• Generate, transmit and distribute from current 5,000 – 6,000 MW to at least 20,000 MW of electricity within four years and increasing to 50,000 MW with a view to achieving 24/7 uninterrupted power supply within ten years, whilst simultaneously ensuring development of sustainable/renewable energy;
• Embark on a National Infrastructural Development Programme as a PPP that will ensure the (a) construction of 3,000km of Superhighway including service trunks and (b) building of up to 4,800km of modern railway lines – one third to be completed by 2019;
• Enact new legal and regulatory frameworks to establish independent regulation and incentives to accelerate public and private sector investment in seaports, railways and inland waterways;
• Embark on PPP schemes with a view to ensuring that at least one functioning airport is available in each of the 36 states.
HOW TO VOTE
• Voting will be by Open Secret Ballot System.
• Your vote is secret because no one will see which candidate you choose.
• You will mark your ballot behind a polling screen secretly.
• Apply your finger print only in one circle/space which corresponds to the candidate of your choice.
OIL AND GAS INDUSTRY
• Make the industry and Nigeria one of the world leading/cutting edge centers for clean oil and gas technologists, scientists, mega structure installation, drilling, processing, production engineers supported with best services and research facilities;
• Fully develop the sector’s capacity to absorb more of the nation’s new graduates in the labour market. The sector will produce more home-grown world class engineers and scientists;
• Modernize the NNPC and make it the national energy champion. Consider breaking it up into more efficient, commercially driven units and strip it of its regulatory powers and enable it tap into international capital market;
• Enforce the government master plan for oil companies to end flaring that pollutes the air and damages people’s health and ensure that they sell at least half of their gas production within Nigeria;
• Speedily pass the much-delayed Petroleum Industry Bill (PIB) and ensure that local content issues are fully addressed;
• Make Nigeria the world’s leading exporter of LNG through the creation of strategic partnerships.
EDUCATION
• Fully implement and enforce the provisions of the Universal Basic Education Act with emphasis on gender equity in primary and secondary school enrollment whilst improving the quality and substance of our schools;
• Targeting up to 15% of our annual budget for this critical sector whilst making substantial investments in training quality teachers at all levels of the educational system;
• Implement performance based education as against the current certificate based qualification;
• Enhance teacher training and improve the competence of teachers along with vigorous national inspection;
• Make learning experiences more meaningful for children and make education more cost-effective;
• Develop and promote effective use of innovative teaching methods/materials in schools;
• Ensure a greater proportion of expenditure on university education is devoted to Science and Technology with more spaces allocated to science and technology oriented courses;
• Establish at least six new universities of science and technology with satellite campuses in various states;
• Establish technical colleges and vocational centers in each state of the federation;
• Provide more conducive environment for private sector participation in all levels of education;
• Establish six centers of excellence to address the needs of special education;
HEALTHCARE
• Prioritize the reduction of the infant mortality rate by 2019 to 3%; reduce maternal mortality by more than 70%; reduce HIV/AIDs infection rate by 50% and other infectious diseases by 75%; improve life expectancy by additional 10 years on average through our national healthy living program;
• Increase the number of physicians from 19 per 1000 population to 50 per 1000; increase national health expenditure per person per annum to about N50,000 (from less than N10,000 currently);
• Increase the quality of all federal government owned hospitals to world class standard within five years;
• Invest in cutting edge technology such as telemedicine in all major health centers in the country through active investment and partnership programs with the private sector;
• Provide free ante-natal care for pregnant women, free health care for babies and children up to school going age and for the aged and free treatment for those afflicted with infectious diseases such as tuberculosis and HIV/AIDS;
• Boost the local manufacture of pharmaceuticals and make non adulterated drugs readily available.

SENIOR CITIZENS, YOUTH SPORTS AND CULTURE
• Ensure timely payment of retirement benefits for all pensioned senior citizens and create a poverty safety net for all aged citizens above the age of 65;
• Provide the opportunities for youths to realize, harness, and develop their full potentials and to facilitate the emergence of a new generation of citizens committed to the sustenance of good governance and service to the people and the country;
• Establish world class sports academy and training institutes and ensure that Nigeria occupies a place of pride in global sports and athletics;
• Revive the Nigerian football league and put incentives in place to make it as competitive as other national leagues;
• Put in place measures to identify talents early and ensure their participation in local and international games to enable them become professionals;
• Mandate schools and communities to create playgrounds/sports centers with needed equipment to develop skills;
• Assist Nollywood to fully develop into world class movie industry that can compete effectively with Hollywood and Bollywood in due course.
WOMEN EMPOWERMENT
• Ensure the rights of women are protected as enshrined in our Constitution;
• Guarantee that women are adequately represented in government appointments and provide greater opportunities in education, job creation and economic empowerment;
• Recognize and protect women empowerment and gender equality with special emphasis on economic activities in development and in rural areas;
• Promote the concept of reserving a minimum number of seats in the National Assembly for women.
ENVIRONMENT
• Ensure compliance with policies and measures to halt the pollution of rivers and waterways in the Niger Delta and other parts of the country;
• Create shelter belts in states bordering the Sahara Desert to mitigate and reverse the effects of the expanding desert;
• Support and accelerate the implementation of regional water transfer initiatives across the country;
• Adopt a holistic approach to erosion and shoreline protection across the country;
• Create teams of volunteers to plant and nurture economically viable trees in arid regions;
• Restructure the Ecological Fund Office to enable it meet today’s environmental challenges;
• Regulate the timber industry to ensure that double the number of trees felled are planted by the loggers;
• Ensure full compliance with town-planning and environmental laws and edicts.
FOREIGN POLICY
• Make regional integration a priority within ECOWAS including free trade with a view to ensuring that a common tariff and currency are achieved by 2020 under Nigeria’s guidance and leadership;
• Maintain strong, close and frank relationships within the Gulf of Guinea, the Commonwealth, South Africa and the rest of the world;
• Establish a new special relationship with the leading emerging markets like Brazil, Russia, India and China (BRIC) and other strategic partners around the world.

Piss myself laughing.

Osyxcel:
The truth is that both GEJ and GMB would score 25% in at least 24 states of the federation and the F.C.T

In that case, the candidate with the highest number of votes cast will be declared winner so therefore, however, meanwhile I see the people's general being declared winner. Anything short of this will probably result to anarchy. The oracle has spoken.

Hmmm

Gmb all the way till infinity

Sit comfortably and feel calm.

You should be able to complete all 3 tests within 30 seconds or even less.

1. Find the letter C from below.

OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOCOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

2. If you have already found the letter C, now find the digit 6 from below.

9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999699999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999
9999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999

3. Now find the letter N from below. It's a little more difficult.

MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMNMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM


This is NOT a joke.

If you are able to pass this 3 tests, you can cancel your annual visit to your neurologist.
Your brain is great and you're far from having Alzheimer Disease.
Congratulations!
If you need to relook, that may be an early sign of an ageing brain!

And its not a joke. . . There is C, 6, and N check well.

South Africans are naturally dumb.