₦airaland Forum

I blog on love and life basically. So if it has depth and it treats the issues that we experience that people try to hide, then im on it. We never can get enough experience can we? Men blame women, ladies hit the blame right back and somehow it just keeps floating about.well I try to land em all on my blog.

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WHY DO MEN CHEAT?



As a man, I hope I don't dig myself in here though, but really, why do men cheat?

There are lots of reasons why this happens, the most common of which is greed and lack of contentment.

The most important,however, is lack of quality and satisfaction.

So, you are in a relationship.........maybe just dating,maybe married, maybe just friends,

what is satisfaction? and how do you go about achieving it?

Every relationship is a contract, a deal where one person offers a set of qualities in exchange

for another set of qualities in the partner. Unfortunately,

these set of qualities, like all other things in life, undergo changes and

thats where the issues start to come in.

We are still talking about cheating men right? ok.

We all tell ourselves that we are ready for a union, tell ourselves that we have studied

our partners and know what they can do,tell ourselves that we are ready for all that they

can do.matter of fact, we not only tell ourselves that we are ready, we actually do get ready.

Now, thats a good thing right? WRONG!

The worst thing we can do is expect a script thats already been played out in our head,

cos sweetheart, nothing ever goes according to plan, at least not totally.

What we should do,which most of us do not know, unfortunately, is to know

what our partners can do and get used to it, but plan for the things we dont expect them to do.

I know some men would wanna act smooth and all that, but hey, if you are a man,

you are naturally set for mischief. Its funny but hey, that's the truth,

thats our default setting. Now, maybe some have a higher tendency to get involved in

not so good acts that others, but in all, when you put in the right set of conditions,

every man would do something you don't expect.

This singular understanding of how men are,think and act is enough to help all ladies

get the best of their men.

However, sisters are too busy trying to get our attention with food and Indian hair.

Now, i know that food is important ( you best have a man's food else all hell is let loose)

and i appreciate the effort that goes into the woman looking all nice and good for us

(when our pockets arent suffering for it)........but ladies, theres more to keeping your man than all of these,

and if you dont take your time to study your man, someone else might just beat you to it.

Now, I hear some people trying to get all tough and ask why all the fuzz about men, bla bla bla.

The fuss is not on men, the fuss is on you, yes! you the lady, its on you keeping what rightfully belongs to you,

afterall, when a man cheats, he does so not with a monkey, not with a horse or goat, but with another WOMAN !

We have already mentioned how men are, so why is it that our ladies arent getting us?

also, we have mentioned how a relationship is a contract, so ask yourself lady,

have you kept your end of the deal? dont ever assume that anything is alright and that a man is

understanding enough to see why you need to suddenly become something or someone else.

Except for extreme cases, men would never understand why they should be short changed by a woman especially

when they are keeping their end of the deal. Do you look at him and see an old man you dont know? NO.

He is still the handsome dude you fell in love with, so sister, why are you different?

pay more attention to yourself and maybe he would pay more attention to you (just dont make his pockets suffer for it though).

Changes would come in other areas too, the amount of pressure you have to deal with would reach a peak,

knowing how to shuffle things would really help you keep everything in focus.

You don't want your man to feel like he isnt getting any assistance from his better half,do you? and worse,

you dont want him to see you as incapable, so you also need to display your strength here.

Now, we are not asking that you take over and boss us over, men like women they can talk about in public,

but please understand that he is the man, the one for which you are all that you are, so honour him with

whatever you are,be the woman who knows that one plus one is two, and tells his husband who thinks its three,

'honey, i love you because you are the best, and i wanna be like you, but please show me how to do it

and get three because i did it this way and its giving me two and i dont know how to tell

you without looking like im challenging you'..........i tell you only a mad man would not appreciate

that kind of love , loyalty and humility.

Men arent idiots and no man would leave his gold at home in search of sand,

but lady, when your man starts to show signs of chasing sand, the first way to deal with it is to go back

to what he fell in love with, go back to being gold, go back to what made him pick you over the world

and decide to spend the rest of his life with you as against all other women out there.

when you get back to that state, then you gently go after your man.And yes, I say go after your man,

because if he is your man, he is worth fighting for. methodology is key though, look for facts and depend on God.

Never ever stalk,snoop or listen to gossips. thats like adding gas to fire and I'm yet to meet a man

that likes to feel violated. A gentle approach will not always work immediately but on the long run

it always brings results,take it easy with him,give him a chance to take it in when you talk,

don't give him something to hold on to like say scream on him or try to hit him.

It's not to say that he doesn't deserve it.it's just called getting a grip over yourself and doing

what's right in a way that's right.I laugh at the level of ignorance displayed when people say

a man is the head of the home,dear ladies, that is so untrue. A woman is and has always been the head of the home,

all you need to do is realise it and understand the man and you are there.

We all know who ate the Apple, do we ever ask why and how he ate it? do we ever ask why eve didn't eat it?

That's how strong a woman is. So find your strength woman ,discover yourself and take charge of what belongs to you.

Honour your man and keep him at home where he belongs. This lady I know bought a play station for her home,

I asked why since she wasn't one for video games and she said 'i know my man,he's not an outgoing person,

but If the home gets too boring,he might just start and I'm determined not to let him become that'.

This other lady got premium subscription on cable,got a bigger screen and would stock the refrigerator with six packs,

then invite his friends over on match day, she claims it keeps him away from the pubs and away from trouble.

Now, I'm not asking ladies to do these,and I'm not saying these efforts would always work .

But somehow , these ladies have taken control of their fears and done something about them.

I'm asking now that you do the same, engage in dialogue,try to get into his head,find out what he dreams of in a home

and strive to be that. Someone said,and I agree that men are like babies, all they need is one thing to give you all they have.

so lady, discover the one thing your man wants and give it to him so that you can get his world. It's a voodoo that never fails


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