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How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? - Family (9) - Nairaland

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Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ishilove: 11:27am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Nairalanders, I don't need your likes and shares. Just read and pass.
You have written undiluted and unadulterated rubbish.

4 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Allwell96: 11:28am On Apr 04, 2021
Imagine them advising u to resign your job just to come and take care of your mom. If u do that and she recovers, what next?
My advice to u right now is, if u have a good house where u are working, take mama to stay with u until she recovers. While she's with u, shut down the villagers for the mean time.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by SammyChi1988: 11:29am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


She is living alone.

I am not the only child.

There are others trying to make ends meet at different places in Nigeria.

I am the only one whose phone is always on whenever they are calling me from the village.

Others have got new lines which they don't want the other relatives to know due to their disturbance.

Whenever they visit my mom, they would stay with her and then go back.

If any of my relatives ask for their numbers, they give their old lines which they only switch on when they are in the village,

claiming that where they are working, their lines do not go through, since they are in remote areas.

Is very simple bro, since your mom is living alone, change your line and make sure you send money to your mom for feeding monthly, forget about relatives for now and build your financial life first.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Nobody: 11:30am On Apr 04, 2021
pansophist:
Tell your uncle to come look after your mum, while you supply cash. If he refuses, don't pick his calls again. It would send a clear message that you're not subservient to him. Don't also quit your job, it's your power and bargaining chip. Let one of your siblings look after your mum, while you supply the funds necessary until your family gets over this challenge. Make it clear that quitting your job is not negotiable, of what use is a man when he can't even provide ? Don't make that mistake.

The responsibility to look after your mum is also on them, not just you. Telling you that they will hold you accountable if your mum dies should only worry you if you're not providing funds, as far you're providing, ignore their words, even a stupid person have something to say, and you must accept that many times, stupid people are not far, they are within your circles, even families.

It is your conscience and "being right" you should care about, not some threats and opinions of someone that is probably lazy, haven't work and have a low milage of ambition.
the problem with Africans is once someone gets old say above 50 they automatically believe they have wisdom, and have the authority on how to direct the lives of others. Like stupîd people don’t grow old too.

5 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by mmsen: 11:30am On Apr 04, 2021
Africans need to accept that a lot of the time their 'elders' are their enemies, that includes their parents. Clearly OP's family is full of useless bitter people who mean him no good. Time to cut the cord, you did not cause anyone to become ill, don't let them guilt you into nonsense.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ebuka78: 11:30am On Apr 04, 2021
Ishilove:

You have written undiluted and unadulterated rubbish.


Ban me naa. Shea you be Mod. Do your worst.

Do you even know the meaning of undiluted and unadultrated?

I won't argue with narrow minded people like you.

I expected you to tell me where you disagreed with my comment, and not that rubbish blunders you wrote.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by od501: 11:31am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Bro...I can relate to your story, but from the look of things it looks like you are the "good child" type. Guy, you may not like my advice cos it may look a bit harsh but very effective. First, blast any family member that calls you for such a thing. If I say blast, shout at them, threaten them, attack them physically if you have to.

It is obvious that some of your family members are not happy with your new achievement. Imagine what an uncle is saying, that you should quit your job for a nanny.

Don't get me wrong, she is your mother, but since they are closer they should support your success by looking after her. You should not even bother coming home sef if you have a reasonable family members; those pple don't want your progress oga!

The next thing, before you launch this attack, make sure you have a plan for the wellbeing of your mother. Either bringing her to your house till she fully recovers, or get someone you trust to look after her in the village.

But I will suggest you leave her in village cos the city is not always conducive for sick pple. Make some arrangement with someone and be sending some amount of money for upkeep. But when she gets better, make sure to start a business for her, even of na kiosk.

As for those village people, Chia...! Baba crez oo...or they won't leave you alone. Insult the OMG outta them and apologise later. You should make your family understand that they can't blackmail you in doing their bid. What nonsense, they even making you feel guilty of what you know nothing about.

Which one is they will hold you responsible for her death? Don't let them do that bro. They should be preferring solutions for you, you shouldn't have even come here sef. Those guys dont dont want your progress, its obvious.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by PAWG(m): 11:31am On Apr 04, 2021
lilvicky68:

Thumbs up.. family is everything


So he should resign and go back home. You guys read but can’t comprehend and just want to Group Intimacy on each other. Who told you the young man isn’t already taking care of his family? You nkò how many of your family members are you currently carrying on your back?
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by PAWG(m): 11:32am On Apr 04, 2021
Ishilove:

You have written undiluted and unadulterated rubbish.


You couldn’t have said it any better. Mumu people everywhere
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by babzlim(m): 11:32am On Apr 04, 2021
Have this kind of issue in my family... So I will advise settle the once that have dreams if u can and take care of ur mom... Pls and pls don't joke with family... trust me even ur kids will get married someday and live there life like u just said so my brother be wise.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by stanisbaratheon: 11:35am On Apr 04, 2021
If I were you I would get my mom out of the village to come stay with me.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by crixlight2(m): 11:36am On Apr 04, 2021
doggedfighter:


Did you even read the thread before writing this nonsense.

Is he seeking advice on how to spend his money that you are already sharing his money for him?

Where did you read that he abandoned his mother?
That you are talking about forgetting his source.
He won't regret anything if he switches off his phone but that's not the issue here.




Thanks he was even telling the guy to be sharing his salary every month with his siblings like the guy doesn’t have bills to pay . This entitlement mentality in Nigeria is too much , if you find out now you will see that the guy is one jobless boy that depend on his brothers. Because if he is working He won’t type those rubbish. My advice to the guy is to get a care giver for his mom and be paying salary to the caregiver, never leave your job or shoulder any yeye family members problem, you have your life and future to plan

3 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by SocialJustice: 11:38am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


Guy stop typing what you don't know about me.

I know what I am doing for them.

I just need an advice, not a bad judgement from a person who believes he knows everything about me.

Put your mum on monthly stipend, make sure she understands that the monthly stipend is for a whole month and not for her to blow in 2 weeks and come asking for more, if she's not a business person, do not bother wasting money to start a business for her.

Block the number of that your uncle that wants you to resign and return to the village. He's very evil and wants to see you fail.

Be very careful with your relatives and hold your God tight because I sense spiritual battle in the background.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by 4gunners(m): 11:38am On Apr 04, 2021
samyj2477:
beware of that your devilish uncle. I am even suspecting him. Don't even think of resigning that job.... if you resign, it will be the greatest mistake of ur life. Try as much as possible to always call home possibly daily, to know how ur mum is doing until she gets well. Make sure ur mum is given the best health treatment she deserves....

Don't even think of resigning that job, beware of ur uncle, I sense evil and I am not joking.
It’s unthinkable. How can a sensible man advice his brother to resign from a federal government job to go back to the village. That should not be an option. He should assist as much as possible, set them up as someone suggested.

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Bbbwings: 11:39am On Apr 04, 2021
doggedfighter:


Very stupid post grin grin

He even drew monthly plans and percentages on someone's salary grin

If you're not wise, people will ruin you with responsibilities and before you realize it. Hmmm.
grin
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by ArcFresky(m): 11:39am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Nairalanders, I don't need your likes and shares. Just read and pass.

grin
You are so inexperienced.
You don't know people...
That provision store u open, naa u go still pay the next year rent.
Naa u go still refurnish am.
Smh.
You are a learner

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ebuka78: 11:40am On Apr 04, 2021
crixlight2:


Thanks he was even telling the guy to be sharing his salary every month with his siblings like the guy doesn’t have bills to pay . This entitlement mentality in Nigeria is too much , if you find out now you will see that the guy is one jobless boy that depend on his brothers. Because if he is working He won’t type those rubbish. My advice to the guy is to get a care giver for his mom and be paying salary to the caregiver, never leave your job or shoulder any yeye family members problem, you have your life and future to plan

Stop misunderstanding me. I never said that, all I was saying is that he should assist his siblings with part of his next salary so that they can go and establish themselves.


When next the mum gets sick, they would contribute and the pressure wouldn't be on the Op.


He was the one that didn't read my comment before quoting me.

Pick a point from my comment and stop following other people's comment.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by hombre(m): 11:43am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

If you are due for annual leave.

Just take a leave from work in pretext that you have resigned and stay with your mum for that period.
See what will happen.
During that time, shower her all the care and love you can.
Take some time-out for family but do it with sense.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Nobody: 11:44am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Go take your mom to the town...Are you the only child?...if not,let others know she is their mother too...
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Onlinebar: 11:44am On Apr 04, 2021
Family is just a fantasy, a life long blackmail with blood. Look after yourself first, drop the savior bias, then think of them last.

4 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by crixlight2(m): 11:44am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Nairalanders, I don't need your likes and shares. Just read and pass.

You better be careful so that river will not carry you away, clearly you don’t have job and you never work before , because if you do , you will understand the guy have bills to pay and he is not in any way responsible for his siblings well-being. How can you tell him to be sharing his money by half every month , very daft advice

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ebuka78: 11:44am On Apr 04, 2021
I know many kids are here, but you can't take away the truth from my mouth. The Op does not want to help his mother.

I expected him to be active when it comes to his mother. Most people here are just leading you away.

Don't let your anger and worry get the best outta you. I am not telling you to resign, but to take care of your mum.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Qatar2022: 11:46am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:


True.

I called my mom and told her what my uncle said, she said I should not take him seriously.

Thanks
My brother my little advise is for you to take your mom along with you for now when she's healthy you bring her back and set up a business for her , save up little money and give your siblings though you don't own them anything after that get marry
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Stanleyq: 11:46am On Apr 04, 2021
having not heard the other team's story, no advice yet...u may not be getting it right with ur family too.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by obowunmi(m): 11:46am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

Change your number.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by JTbaba2020: 11:48am On Apr 04, 2021
Bro, beware of that your Uncle, he doesn't have your interest at heart, your mum would never ask you to quit your job to come to care of her, with what means na?

Having said that, I have been in your situation over 25yrs ago, you have to apply wisdom if not family members would milk you based on your mums situation.

I would suggest if it not too much wahala and if feasible bring how close to you in the city, if this is not possible then get a maid/minder that you and your other siblings pay to take care of her, am currently paying N110k per month for a nurse/carer in lagos for similar purpose.

Whatever you do, ensure that you do what you believe is your best for your mum, based on your capacity at the present time, because in the end thats what matters.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ebuka78: 11:49am On Apr 04, 2021
obowunmi:


Change your number.

Let us assume he changed his number/ contact. In the next 7 months, what if things went bad for him, who would be the first person he would run to?

Is it not family?

Go and learn more about "Blood"
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Realest11: 11:50am On Apr 04, 2021
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?
hello bro. My advice to you is that if you have your own place nor apartment bring mummy and any of ur sibling down to wherever you are to look after her when u are off for work. Take good care of her until she gets better before she returns back to the village. And if after her return she falls sick again bro only then u should know the source of her sickness as been depict in ur write up. Cos some families can be that bad as they don't want the progress of others...
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Bbbwings: 11:51am On Apr 04, 2021
maximunimpact:


OP is stingy and selfish along with anyone sympathizing with him. I will give everything for my mother and family without thinking about it
Why are you not doing it now?
Don't wait till you become rich undecided

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by crixlight2(m): 11:53am On Apr 04, 2021
Ebuka78:
I know many kids are here, but you can't take away the truth from my mouth. The Op does not want to help his mother.

I expected him to be active when it comes to his mother. Most people here are just leading you away.

Don't let your anger and worry get the best outta you. I am not telling you to resign, but to take care of your mum.

How is the guy not helping his mom , he stated clearly that he took her to hospital , what else you want him to do.... with the level of your reason seems you are still in your early 20s or getting close to 30, but I think at 30 you should be able to understand how this life works. He said the sickness was due to old age , sickness in old age is inevitable

2 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by zanshi: 11:53am On Apr 04, 2021
You must pay for own tab of the black tax.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Sterope(f): 11:54am On Apr 04, 2021
The father can do it as well. He brought her to this world. It doesn't mean he won't take care of his little sister.
jesmond3945:
please do it if and only if you can. She is your blood.

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