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How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? - Family - Nairaland

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How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 6:44pm On Apr 03
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

88 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 6:49pm On Apr 03
What surprises me is that immediately I got the job, my mom started having health challenges.

I have observed it several times in different people.

When they are able to make a breakthrough in life (like getting a good job, graduation, financial breakthroughs),

something bad (like sickness or death) would affect their relatives, either the mom,dad,son, daughter or any close relative.

Please who else has noticed this, and why must it be so?

72 Likes 8 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by chatinent(m): 6:58pm On Apr 03
Bros, you are not from Bethlehem!


If I were you, I'll set up a provision store for mom to minimise the monthly expectations.

I can easily relate to what you mean.


Advise everyone of your relatives to go and WORK! Make them know you have your own life to live.


To be great, you have to be stingy.

Because if you fall now, those people will still abuse you that there's nothing you did from your Federal job for so and so years. They'll forget you helped them!

424 Likes 25 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Ebuka78: 6:58pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?

A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Nairalanders, I don't need your likes and shares. Just read and pass.

146 Likes 19 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Angelacruz: 7:05pm On Apr 03
settle dem wit a good bizness

7 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 7:07pm On Apr 03
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Guy stop typing what you don't know about me.

I know what I am doing for them.

I just need an advice, not a bad judgement from a person who believes he knows everything about me.

498 Likes 23 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lilvicky68(m): 7:08pm On Apr 03
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.
Thumbs up.. family is everything

23 Likes 4 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by samyj2477: 7:10pm On Apr 03
beware of that your devilish uncle. I am even suspecting him. Don't even think of resigning that job.... if you resign, it will be the greatest mistake of ur life. Try as much as possible to always call home possibly daily, to know how ur mum is doing until she gets well. Make sure ur mum is given the best health treatment she deserves....

Don't even think of resigning that job, beware of ur uncle, I sense evil and I am not joking.

309 Likes 16 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 7:19pm On Apr 03
samyj2477:
beware of that your devilish uncle. I am even suspecting him. Don't even think of resigning that job.... if you resign, it will be the greatest mistake of ur life. Try as much as possible to always call home possibly daily, to know how ur mum is doing until she gets well. Make sure ur mum is given the best health treatment she deserves....

Don't even think of resigning that job, beware of ur uncle, I sense evil and I am not joking.

True.

I called my mom and told her what my uncle said, she said I should not take him seriously.

Thanks

242 Likes 8 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Richy4(m): 7:19pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:
What surprises me is that immediately I got the job, my mom started having health challenges.

I have observed it several times in different people.

When they are able to make a breakthrough in life (like getting a good job, graduation, financial breakthroughs),

something bad (like sickness or death) would affect their relatives, either the mom,dad,son, daughter or any close relative.

Please who else has noticed this, and why must it be so?

I don't want to read meanings into @ bold because it won't be in your favor buddy.... But the bottom line is do the best that you can for your mother if you have... because you don't have another mother... As for family members who felt that they have struck gold , Hit the ignore button... but your parents should not be neglected no matter what...

55 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by samyj2477: 7:31pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


True.

I called my mom and told her what my uncle said, she said I should not take him seriously.

Thanks
good, just take care of ur mum. try to call her if possible daily until her mind is calm. You guys should just beware of that man. He doesn't have good plans for u. See, I am a Psychologist, I know what I am saying. Have a good evening.

26 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Tastemoney(m): 7:34pm On Apr 03
If you don't help your family,who then will you help

Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

You just said my mind.... thumbs up

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by budaatum: 7:39pm On Apr 03
Take what I have to say with salt because I'm going to be harsh.

You see those people asking you to return home to take care of your mother? Those are what is commonly refered to as village people. They heard about your progress, most likely from your mother who blabbed it around town and shouted "praise God" in church, and now they want to ruin you and her and very likely with her help though she might not be aware of it, by making you feel guilty so you do the wrong thing.

The nasty truth is, your mother will die, and you will be made to spend lots of money burying her after spending lots of money failing to keep her alive. And when you now sit down and calculate the money, and the fact that you no more have a job because you left the one you had to care for your mother, you'd likely resent your mother and the village people, and mostly yourself for allowing yourself to be manipulated so easily.

So, here are solutions. Invite your mother to visit you as a ploy to get her away from those village people using her to manipulate you. Make her stay with you and get a nurse to care for her. Hope she lives long though or you will be accused of killing her. Or tell them all to fuq off and switch off your phone and live your life in peace if you can ignore your mother's wailing as she dies.

Either ways, you will be here to live the consequences of your choices long after she dies so..... And salt.

154 Likes 7 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Mindlog: 7:45pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


True.

I called my mom and told her what my uncle said, she said I should not take him seriously.

Thanks

Are you her only child? Who is presently her care giver in the village?

7 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by doggedfighter(f): 7:47pm On Apr 03
Ebuka78:


A river that forgets it source will surely runs dry. You have to help your mum, God gave you that job to support your family.


If it were your girlfriend, you would help her without thinking twice.

You can divide your salary into half, and give your sister to start a Saloon business/ become a hair stylist.

The next salary, you divide it and assist your brothers or brother to open a trade.

In 3 months time, there wouldn't be pressure on you to help the family. It is not good for one person to be rich in a family, let the rich one help others to get rich.

You should send 50% of your last month salary to sustain your mum.


You don't know what she passed through before birthing you. She would never tell you.

Switch of your cell phone and regret it for life.

Send her half of your salary for her health and remain blessed for life.

Did you even read the thread before writing this nonsense.

Is he seeking advice on how to spend his money that you are already sharing his money for him?

Where did you read that he abandoned his mother?
That you are talking about forgetting his source.
He won't regret anything if he switches off his phone but that's not the issue here.

208 Likes 14 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by doggedfighter(f): 7:55pm On Apr 03
Op, don't resign your job.

You are important to them because you are working become idle and see how they will ridicule you.

Your uncle doesn't care about you, your mom or your family hence asking you to resign.

Call her everyday , talk to her doctors and caregivers. Make sure she feeds well.

Come home weekends if you can just that it's risky to always be on the road because of bad roads hence accident prone.

You and your future counts too.

Be wise !

56 Likes 3 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by GboyegaD(m): 8:11pm On Apr 03
At the worst, move your mom to where you are so that you can have enough time to attend to her.

39 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by LadySarah(f): 8:12pm On Apr 03
Are you her only child?If no,where are the rest and whats their input as regards her welfare?

14 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 8:32pm On Apr 03
Mindlog:


Are you her only child? Who is presently her care giver in the villager?

She is living alone.

I am not the only child.

There are others trying to make ends meet at different places in Nigeria.

I am the only one whose phone is always on whenever they are calling me from the village.

Others have got new lines which they don't want the other relatives to know due to their disturbance.

Whenever they visit my mom, they would stay with her and then go back.

If any of my relatives ask for their numbers, they give their old lines which they only switch on when they are in the village,

claiming that where they are working, their lines do not go through, since they are in remote areas.

35 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 8:33pm On Apr 03
samyj2477:
good, just take care of ur mum. try to call her if possible daily until her mind is calm. You guys should just beware of that man. He doesn't have good plans for u. See, I am a Psychologist, I know what I am saying. Have a good evening.
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by lecturer50(m): 8:33pm On Apr 03
Richy4:


I don't want to read meanings into @ bold because it won't be in your favor buddy.... But the bottom line is do the best that you can for your mother if you have... because you don't have another mother... As for family members who felt that they have struck gold , Hit the ignore button... but your parents should not be neglected no matter what...
Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Klass99(f): 8:42pm On Apr 03
doggedfighter:


Did you even read the thread before writing this nonsense.

Is he seeking advice on how to spend his money that you are already sharing his money for him?


Where did you read that he abandoned his mother?
That you are talking about forgetting his source.
He won't regret anything if he switches off his phone but that's not the issue here.





The part in bold had me laughing out loud like kilode? grin I stopped reading after that and was just laughing. Nice one!

11 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by doggedfighter(f): 8:45pm On Apr 03
Klass99:


The part in bold had me laughing out loud like kilode? grin I stopped reading after that and was just laughing. Nice one!

You go fear sharing formula grin grin grin grin grin

28 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by TheCongo2: 8:46pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


Guy stop typing what you don't know about me.

I know what I am doing for them.

I just need an advice, not a bad judgement from a person who believes he knows everything about me.


GBAM

10 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by TheCongo2: 8:49pm On Apr 03
doggedfighter:


Did you even read the thread before writing this nonsense.

Is he seeking advice on how to spend his money that you are already sharing his money for him?

Where did you read that he abandoned his mother?
That you are talking about forgetting his source.
He won't regret anything if he switches off his phone but that's not the issue here.





Lol ...

6 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Klass99(f): 8:50pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


She is living alone.

I am not the only child.

There are others trying to make ends meet at different places in Nigeria.

I am the only one whose phone is always on whenever they are calling me from the village.

Others have got new lines which they don't want the other relatives to know due to their disturbance.

Whenever they visit my mom, they would stay with her and then go back.

If any of my relatives ask for their numbers, they give their old lines which they only switch on when they are in the village,

claiming that where they are working, their lines do not go through, since they are in remote areas.

Your siblings are interesting and funny, I don't blame them at all.

But, what happens in an emergency where they need to be reached for a valid reason?

Can you bring your mum to your base to stay with you for some time and find good help to cook/care for her, while you are at work? That's if none of your siblings can accompany her

26 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by NoToPile: 8:57pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


She is living alone.

I am not the only child.

There are others trying to make ends meet at different places in Nigeria.

I am the only one whose phone is always on whenever they are calling me from the village.

Others have got new lines which they don't want the other relatives to know due to their disturbance.


Whenever they visit my mom, they would stay with her and then go back.

If any of my relatives ask for their numbers, they give their old lines which they only switch on when they are in the village,


claiming that where they are working, their lines do not go through, since they are in remote areas.


Your siblings are smart, some relatives are better handled with this method.


Whatever you do don't resign your job, that's their way ooo.

At worse you will move mama to live with you or your siblings.

36 Likes

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Klass99(f): 8:59pm On Apr 03
doggedfighter:


You go fear sharing formula grin grin grin grin grin

Lol, I swear down fear catch me at the proposed sharing formula and baseless assumptions he made about OP.

What even annoys me the most is how they automatically expect one sibling who is "seemingly doing well" to be the saviour of the others, as if those ones are handicapped.

Are the other siblings invalids incapable of making their own way in life or fighting for their own success? That OP has to open salon for one and start a trade for another.

62 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Mindlog: 9:05pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:


She is living alone.

I am not the only child.

There are others trying to make ends meet at different places in Nigeria.

I am the only one whose phone is always on whenever they are calling me from the village.

Others have got new lines which they don't want the other relatives to know due to their disturbance.

Whenever they visit my mom, they would stay with her and then go back.

If any of my relatives ask for their numbers, they give their old lines which they only switch on when they are in the village,

claiming that where they are working, their lines do not go through, since they are in remote areas.

Based on her age and health status, I would suggest you and your siblings see to it that you get someone to stay with her to help prepare her meals, do her laundry , general cleaning and most importantly make sure she religiously adheres to her medication.

You know the financial strength of each of your siblings, do encourage them to contribute accordingly to support your mum's assisted living as it would help you all have the peace of mind knowing your mum is not alone and being cared for.

18 Likes 1 Share

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by doggedfighter(f): 9:06pm On Apr 03
Klass99:


Lol, I swear down fear catch me at the proposed sharing formula and baseless assumptions he made about OP.

What even annoys me the most is how they automatically expect one sibling who is "seemingly doing well" to be the saviour of the others, as if those ones are handicapped.

Are the other siblings invalids incapable of making their own way in life or fighting for their own success? That OP has to open salon for one and start a trade for another.

Very stupid post grin grin

He even drew monthly plans and percentages on someone's salary grin

If you're not wise, people will ruin you with responsibilities and before you realize it. Hmmm.

52 Likes 2 Shares

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by Tadeknkeepcalm: 9:10pm On Apr 03
chatinent:
Bros, you are not from Bethlehem!


If I were you, I'll set up a provision store for mom to minimise the monthly expectations.

I can easily relate to what you mean.


Advise everyone of your relatives to go and WORK! Make them know you have your own life to live.


To be great, you have to be stingy.

Because if you fall now, those people will still abuse you that there's nothing you did from your Federal job for so and so years. They'll forget you helped them!
Oga chatinent, I'm quite sure you did not read this thread. If you did, you wouldn't have said this.

And I'm disappointed, cause you're always on about "share your experience" but this short piece is too difficult to read

1 Like

Re: How Do I Stop My Relatives From Disturbing Me? by ImaIma1(f): 9:43pm On Apr 03
lecturer50:
Please house I need an advice.

Ever since I got a federal government job,

my relatives have been disturbing me for money.

There must always be an issue that involves money which they want me to solve.

Recently, my mom become sick.

They are threatening me that I would be held responsible if my mom dies,if I don't make sure she is cured.

But I have taken her to hospitals, and she is trying to recover.

I do this whenever I visit home since I am working in a state far from home.

Her health challenge is due to old age.

But today my uncle called me that I should resign, get back to the village and personally take care of my mom,

failure of which,if she dies, the whole family would hold me responsible for choosing job over my mom.

Can you imagine resigning your federal job to get to the village and start staying?

The calls, the demands, the attacks are getting too much for me.

Please should I just switch off my phone so that no one can contact me?

I just need advice?


Are you the only child?

If you resign to go and stay by her side, where will the money come from for the bills?

What have her relatives done for her except to drag you because you have a job?

Our African culture makes it frustrating for one family member to do well. He has to carry the weight of the whole family upon his shoulders and they won't appreciate it. Instead, they think it's their entitlement.

Someone is saying he should set up a provision store, another is saying he should send half of his salary. Is it that easy to set up a store like that? How will the sick mum run the store? When family members run it to the ground, they will come back and expect you to vomit out more money for another business.

Please keep helping your mum as much as you can. But quitting your job to go and take care of her is not a good move because money will be needed.

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