₦airaland Forum

What happens after marriage is divorce.

However, after marriage/wedding ceremonies comes marriage itself and whatever works for you, that I advise you do cause this thing called marriage doesn't have a universally accepted formula.

I have chosen my own path and to the glory of God, it's working for me.

Peace of mind is a choice, so is happiness. True, marriage is not always sweet but it is possible to enjoy your marriage if you so desire.

I can and will enjoy my marriage

trailblazar:
Two lane street: you are either enjoying or enduring., Everyone gets a turn..not sure you can always enjoy...

Kebbiprince:
A virgin is disciplined and fears God and not an olosho like u who have finished your vag!na mileage and now wide like Lagos Ibadan express way. Real men know the important of virgins and not a wide vag!na like u who even after prostitution can't make a good wife. Stupid gal

Those of us that do hookup are still virgins

No matter the love, commitment, respect, moral upbringing etc please see your spouse as imperfect being. Don't go into marriage with too much expectations. Too expectations bring disappointment.

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?


What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?


Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?


Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

What is life like in marriage?

What happens during a quarrel?

Does a partner always prove they are right?

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?


How and when are responsibilities shared?



What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?


What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

Should the husband also do minor chores?

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

What is the major emotional need?

How is trust built?

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

What would you ever wish for?

Does the care and love remain the same?



I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

Marry yor friend and be ready to be a stupid forgiver. You won't regret it.

franchasng:
Op stop listening to hearsay from people on issues of marriage, especially people on the internet aka social media platforms.....most of them will paint marriage as one evil institution or another maybe out of their own failed experience they then go about generalising.....whereas millions of people around Nigeria and all over the world are all enjoying blissful marriage, so aspire to be those enjoying being married and that's what you will get because "law of attraction" works in life. You can use the power of attraction to attract all the goods things you want in life to your life, and you can also attract the negative to yourself. So always focus on the positive.


Now talking from my own personal experience as a young married man.....I have no single regrets....in fact I am enjoying being married than being single because it seems my life is now more organized and purposeful than when I was single. Mind you, I was doing well financially when I got married so I didn't marry out of no choice, I married at my own pace, not that I was a rich guy as in million million dollars oh, but I think I should be considered among the buoyant guys Nigerians see as rich; 2 tokunbo cars, live in a flat, own some landed properties being developed, owned my own business and few travel experience lol......but despite all that, when I look back at when I was single and compare it with now that I am sweetly and happily married, I can boldly say that my life is more organized and peaceful now than then lol.


I and my wife didn't officially court for a long time, we were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend all thanks to my stubborn and womanizing self lol, and her too much shakara too. I liked my wife when I first met her, she was so sexy like I desire my ladies as in, but this girl was not yielding to my moves....she indirectly accepted me oh but to fully put herself into the matter was an issue, which pushed me away to other ladies....and I always tell her that she was lucky cos I almost married another chick like that if not that she failed my final stage tests and all that.....pls ladies if you like a guy stop doing too much shakara for him cos you can lose him that way, my wife was lucky or maybe it was destiny that we would be couple at the end if not, her shakara was too much that pissed me off a lot.


But in all these, we still dated; officially for 2 years, unofficially for 4 years.....when I leave she will be the one to reconnect via Facebook chats or WhatsApp chats, especially during festive seasons, she must send me season greetings and ask how I was doing, which always got me confused and happy somehow lol. She was doing shakara but still giving me green light not to go that she likes me lol. She said her mind told her that I was a playboy that came to play her, so she was just scared of committing to me; I found out after we got married lol



So back to topic; if you are single guy, especially today, please and please, focus more on your finances; this is very important in having a successful marriage.....work work work work.....when I say work, not going around looking for job when you can't find one, if you cannot find a job, create one yourself. This is not impossible.....start something no matter how small......internet has even made it easier to start business today without any shop or office.....just have an online presence, find a business niche and be consistent and patient in your niche, it must pay off. Don't jump from one business to another just because some of your friends or people you know are making big money from it.....stay on your own lane and master it and be consistent.....and then have a clear vision of what you want, dream big oh......and always confess your heart desires without fear. Chase your dream.....while you lie down on the bed be visualizing what you want in life, I hardly sleep and it has become a part of me since teenage hood. This worked for me.


Working in an oil company or communication company or IT company or Bank or Telecom company or medical field or wherever is not the only way to be financially successful in life.....people are becoming rich from all fields of life, I am a living witness.....I have friends in virtually all fields of life and these guys are killing it money wise.....even in the things you despise and look down on.....I have a friend that's rich today through scrap recycling business......another in sound business......another in construction.....another in farming.......another in normal market trading business.....another is doing excellently well as a teacher, yes teacher......he now runs an online tutoring platform coupled with the fact that he owns a lot of physical tutorial centers in 2 different states.....so there is money in all fields of life, find a field and master it, dream big, introduce unique ideas into that field, monetize your new ideas.......multiply whatever that's working and keep doing it and you must be rich with time....remember success takes time. I started desiring to be rich from when I was a teenager lol....it may sound funny.....but while I was in higher institution, I was running businesses; extra morale classes for first year students, doing runs lol for WAEC, JAMB, etc students God forgive me, owned a call center, a photocopy center, game center......this was all as a student. I went for NYSC and launched a laptop selling business where I was serving and sold lots of laptops to fellow corpers lol



My whole point is, you need steady income to run a successful marriage today. But if you have done all your best and the money is not stabilizing the way you dream, please don't let it stop you from getting married.....but then, you must marry your friend to succeed in that situation if not, she will chicken out with time. Marry a lady that understand your vision in life, who also believes in your vision and efforts. Marry a lady who believes in time, who is also patient with life. Not all ladies are patient. Not all ladies believe that it will be better tomorrow, so don't marry such ladies......which brings us to communication during dating or courtship.....talk talk talk...don't keep mute around your partner while dating.



I have friends who married broke but today they are almost rich. Don't do this unless you have the inner conviction to do it, and like I said you must marry your friend to succeed in that condition and she must believe in you and time. Avoid lazy ladies....she may be working today but if you examine her, she is lazy. She maybe unemployed today, but if you examine her closely, she is not lazy.....avoid lazy, entitled, prideful and greedy ladies,they will frustrate your life.


Sometimes, marriage can bring you fortunes.....it can bring you luck, I don't use to believe in this, but ever since I got married, I started seeing my efforts yield more fruit than when I was single....and the moment we gave birth, it was as if my life entered a high speed.......things started working faster.......more results like its a charm lol.....I still give God all the glory.



Marriage is sweet if you marry the right person and if you prepare financially as a man. Don't have the mindset that you and your wife will share all bills....plan to cater for your family all by yourself and God will empower you for that....my wife works but I have never asked her to bring a dime for any of our family expenditure......not that this is ideal, but this is what every woman wishes for in life, even Billionaire Mrs Alakija wishes for this, and when you as their husband give them this, they will give you their best......but she must not hide her income from you, if she does, its a sign of worry. I know how much my wife earns even though she doesn't contribute, but sometimes I will jokingly tell her that I know she is planning to build a sky scrapper for her kids.....that its good....I also encourage her a lot to help her family members that stood by her while growing up....and to help people in need wherever she meets them with hesitation. But don't ever put your whole eyes on your wife's income if you want peace in your home, pray to God to empower you financially not to depend on your wife's income and you will enjoy peace in your marriage.



Before you marry, prepare financially....marriage today is financially draining if you want a standard family.....you can manage things also, but prepare, and tell God how you want your family or marriage to be, God is real oh, no let them fool you say there is no God, there is a supreme being above all humans oh.....I no be born again oh, but I tell you there is God. You don't even need much prayers to know your wife, just observe your inner piece and use your wisdom. If you are struggling financially, don't marry a jobless or unemployed lady, biko dont do it, its suicidal.



You see all those fashion designer ladies, they are good for marriage oh, that their handwork is good.....you can invest in her.....its far better than marrying an unemployed graduate lady hoping that she would secure job with Shell soon lol.....jobs don cast.



I am married but still feel like I am single.......no stress....my wife gives me freedom, peace of mind, space but she is also a monitoring spirit lol. The only thing she doesn't trust me with is beautiful ladies with big big ass because I love beautiful ladies with killer shape eh, na only that thing fit carry me go hell fire in case any of una see me for hell fire oh


and to the last part of your question, yes it remains....my wife didn't change.....in fact her love and care is even increasing to my fear lol.


Some ladies love more when they get married....so it all depends on the lady you married and how you take care of her.....but most importantly, marry a friendly lady with less baggage and keep working to have a steady income, it makes marriage sweet. Be positive and you will marry the best. I never imagined myself having marital issues while single....I use to ask friends then that why will I be fighting with my wife na.....that it cant happen and its what I am experiencing......and always encourage your wife to keep fit and watch how she eats......you must help her monitor her tummy, ugliness of a woman starts from the tummy, apology to all ladies struggling to keep their tummy flat, pls forgive my use of this word


As for house chores, I was lazy from childhood when it comes to house chores, that's the only reason my father flogged me then, but my mom always defended me then and I love her to pieces for all that she did for me then lol.


Even while single I hated house chores, it made me eat out often while in school to avoid washing plates and pots lol. So my wife know this before we got married and she never expected much from me and all thanks we have few domestic staffs that assist. But whenever I am around and in good mood then, I make her room bed lol, maybe dust her mirror stand, etc, but I bath and dress my little boy often (I cherish doing this one a lot)

Thanks for sharing bro

franchasng:
Op stop listening to hearsay from people on issues of marriage, especially people on the internet aka social media platforms.....most of them will paint marriage as one evil institution or another maybe out of their own failed experience they then go about generalising.....whereas millions of people around Nigeria and all over the world are all enjoying blissful marriage, so aspire to be those enjoying being married and that's what you will get because "law of attraction" works in life. You can use the power of attraction to attract all the goods things you want in life to your life, and you can also attract the negative to yourself. So always focus on the positive.


Now talking from my own personal experience as a young married man.....I have no single regrets....in fact I am enjoying being married than being single because it seems my life is now more organized and purposeful than when I was single. Mind you, I was doing well financially when I got married so I didn't marry out of no choice, I married at my own pace, not that I was a rich guy as in million million dollars oh, but I think I should be considered among the buoyant guys Nigerians see as rich; 2 tokunbo cars, live in a flat, own some landed properties being developed, owned my own business and few travel experience lol......but despite all that, when I look back at when I was single and compare it with now that I am sweetly and happily married, I can boldly say that my life is more organized and peaceful now than then lol.


I and my wife didn't officially court for a long time, we were on and off boyfriend and girlfriend all thanks to my stubborn and womanizing self lol, and her too much shakara too. I liked my wife when I first met her, she was so sexy like I desire my ladies as in, but this girl was not yielding to my moves....she indirectly accepted me oh but to fully put herself into the matter was an issue, which pushed me away to other ladies....and I always tell her that she was lucky cos I almost married another chick like that if not that she failed my final stage tests and all that.....pls ladies if you like a guy stop doing too much shakara for him cos you can lose him that way, my wife was lucky or maybe it was destiny that we would be couple at the end if not, her shakara was too much that pissed me off a lot.


But in all these, we still dated; officially for 2 years, unofficially for 4 years.....when I leave she will be the one to reconnect via Facebook chats or WhatsApp chats, especially during festive seasons, she must send me season greetings and ask how I was doing, which always got me confused and happy somehow lol. She was doing shakara but still giving me green light not to go that she likes me lol. She said her mind told her that I was a playboy that came to play her, so she was just scared of committing to me; I found out after we got married lol



So back to topic; if you are single guy, especially today, please and please, focus more on your finances; this is very important in having a successful marriage.....work work work work.....when I say work, not going around looking for job when you can't find one, if you cannot find a job, create one yourself. This is not impossible.....start something no matter how small......internet has even made it easier to start business today without any shop or office.....just have an online presence, find a business niche and be consistent and patient in your niche, it must pay off. Don't jump from one business to another just because some of your friends or people you know are making big money from it.....stay on your own lane and master it and be consistent.....and then have a clear vision of what you want, dream big oh......and always confess your heart desires without fear. Chase your dream.....while you lie down on the bed be visualizing what you want in life, I hardly sleep and it has become a part of me since teenage hood. This worked for me.


Working in an oil company or communication company or IT company or Bank or Telecom company or medical field or wherever is not the only way to be financially successful in life.....people are becoming rich from all fields of life, I am a living witness.....I have friends in virtually all fields of life and these guys are killing it money wise.....even in the things you despise and look down on.....I have a friend that's rich today through scrap recycling business......another in sound business......another in construction.....another in farming.......another in normal market trading business.....another is doing excellently well as a teacher, yes teacher......he now runs an online tutoring platform coupled with the fact that he owns a lot of physical tutorial centers in 2 different states.....so there is money in all fields of life, find a field and master it, dream big, introduce unique ideas into that field, monetize your new ideas.......multiply whatever that's working and keep doing it and you must be rich with time....remember success takes time. I started desiring to be rich from when I was a teenager lol....it may sound funny.....but while I was in higher institution, I was running businesses; extra morale classes for first year students, doing runs lol for WAEC, JAMB, etc students God forgive me, owned a call center, a photocopy center, game center......this was all as a student. I went for NYSC and launched a laptop selling business where I was serving and sold lots of laptops to fellow corpers lol



My whole point is, you need steady income to run a successful marriage today. But if you have done all your best and the money is not stabilizing the way you dream, please don't let it stop you from getting married.....but then, you must marry your friend to succeed in that situation if not, she will chicken out with time. Marry a lady that understand your vision in life, who also believes in your vision and efforts. Marry a lady who believes in time, who is also patient with life. Not all ladies are patient. Not all ladies believe that it will be better tomorrow, so don't marry such ladies......which brings us to communication during dating or courtship.....talk talk talk...don't keep mute around your partner while dating.



I have friends who married broke but today they are almost rich. Don't do this unless you have the inner conviction to do it, and like I said you must marry your friend to succeed in that condition and she must believe in you and time. Avoid lazy ladies....she may be working today but if you examine her, she is lazy. She maybe unemployed today, but if you examine her closely, she is not lazy.....avoid lazy, entitled, prideful and greedy ladies,they will frustrate your life.


Sometimes, marriage can bring you fortunes.....it can bring you luck, I don't use to believe in this, but ever since I got married, I started seeing my efforts yield more fruit than when I was single....and the moment we gave birth, it was as if my life entered a high speed.......things started working faster.......more results like its a charm lol.....I still give God all the glory.



Marriage is sweet if you marry the right person and if you prepare financially as a man. Don't have the mindset that you and your wife will share all bills....plan to cater for your family all by yourself and God will empower you for that....my wife works but I have never asked her to bring a dime for any of our family expenditure......not that this is ideal, but this is what every woman wishes for in life, even Billionaire Mrs Alakija wishes for this, and when you as their husband give them this, they will give you their best......but she must not hide her income from you, if she does, its a sign of worry. I know how much my wife earns even though she doesn't contribute, but sometimes I will jokingly tell her that I know she is planning to build a sky scrapper for her kids.....that its good....I also encourage her a lot to help her family members that stood by her while growing up....and to help people in need wherever she meets them with hesitation. But don't ever put your whole eyes on your wife's income if you want peace in your home, pray to God to empower you financially not to depend on your wife's income and you will enjoy peace in your marriage.



Before you marry, prepare financially....marriage today is financially draining if you want a standard family.....you can manage things also, but prepare, and tell God how you want your family or marriage to be, God is real oh, no let them fool you say there is no God, there is a supreme being above all humans oh.....I no be born again oh, but I tell you there is God. You don't even need much prayers to know your wife, just observe your inner piece and use your wisdom. If you are struggling financially, don't marry a jobless or unemployed lady, biko dont do it, its suicidal.



You see all those fashion designer ladies, they are good for marriage oh, that their handwork is good.....you can invest in her.....its far better than marrying an unemployed graduate lady hoping that she would secure job with Shell soon lol.....jobs don cast.



I am married but still feel like I am single.......no stress....my wife gives me freedom, peace of mind, space but she is also a monitoring spirit lol. The only thing she doesn't trust me with is beautiful ladies with big big ass because I love beautiful ladies with killer shape eh, na only that thing fit carry me go hell fire in case any of una see me for hell fire oh


and to the last part of your question, yes it remains....my wife didn't change.....in fact her love and care is even increasing to my fear lol.


Some ladies love more when they get married....so it all depends on the lady you married and how you take care of her.....but most importantly, marry a friendly lady with less baggage and keep working to have a steady income, it makes marriage sweet. Be positive and you will marry the best. I never imagined myself having marital issues while single....I use to ask friends then that why will I be fighting with my wife na.....that it cant happen and its what I am experiencing......and always encourage your wife to keep fit and watch how she eats......you must help her monitor her tummy, ugliness of a woman starts from the tummy, apology to all ladies struggling to keep their tummy flat, pls forgive my use of this word


As for house chores, I was lazy from childhood when it comes to house chores, that's the only reason my father flogged me then, but my mom always defended me then and I love her to pieces for all that she did for me then lol.


Even while single I hated house chores, it made me eat out often while in school to avoid washing plates and pots lol. So my wife know this before we got married and she never expected much from me and all thanks we have few domestic staffs that assist. But whenever I am around and in good mood then, I make her room bed lol, maybe dust her mirror stand, etc, but I bath and dress my little boy often (I cherish doing this one a lot)

I love this

Adinije:
There's no manual to marriage, however, there are certain things that are necessary.


Openess

During courtship, most people lies about a lot of things which usually break the trust when found out. A distant cousin of mine told her then fiancee that she is a graduate whereas, she dropped out of school. After they became married. Husband was trying hard to help his wife secure a job, when he received the shocker. They are still together but things never remained the same.



Financial Stability

A lot of people undermine the importance of finance in marriage. Most people get married hoping that when the woman enter, they will struggle together. Trust me when I say you will always find yourself in a rocky place. Forget the love is all that matters crap. Love doesn't pay bills.



Sexual Compatibility

This is another topic people don't take serious. But very important. A lot of infidelities in marriages happen due to sexual incompatibility.

i like that senerio... love doesn't pay bills, make we husstle well b dat.... money over bitches!

uthlaw:
i like that senerio... love doesn't pay bills, make we husstle well b dat.... money over bitches!

I have a boyfriend but sometimes he is the one that link me to men for hookup. I love him he loves me but we but have needs. So I do hookup

In a nutshell...

Find out what your woman’s ultimate motive in marriage is...

Because that’s what you will see play out in different shades down the days, months and years.

They don’t change, they just patiently wait to execute their ultimate aim, whether in your presence or absence.

Bye

Bola146:
Exactly.. they are just unlucky! See especially the ladies

you are right, expecially the ladies!

Juliearth:
There is no brainwashing here. Women are home makers and we have our tasks clearly marked out for us. Ever wondered why a woman is blamed if a marriage is troubled, even if that crisis was triggered by the man's misgivings? I would have suggested that you watch "the gatekeeper", a Mount Zion movie. Albeit old, it points out quite a few key lessons on the roles that a woman can play to make her home a success. A man cannot be saddled with these roles, because he needs to be out there to make money for his home.

The man also shoulders his own. In this part of the world, a woman pretty much has to make the home whilst the man makes the money (even though women have stepped up to this responsibility). Your ideology is stellar, but it is not attainable in most homes today.

I can't remember spurring women to play dominating roles at home. A women who earns and supports her spouse shouldn't be seen in the wrong light.

Your perspective is balanced, and your points very good, even from the initial post, so also the guys point you responded to is the ideal thing, a man should be the embodiment of responsibility to a large extent, but your point talks to reality and what's obtainable. Very practical

AmazoTopaz:
Those of us that do hookup are still virgins

Udomeanit

AmazoTopaz:
I have a boyfriend but sometimes he is the one that link me to men for hookup. I love him he loves me but we but have needs. So I do hookup

bills no de finish but becareful...he might end up not get married to you.... anyway,money is the Koko!

Though single, i have lived with couples and copied what's good and leave the ones i don't like .

i have listened to lots of marriage audiotapes from renowned men of god/speakers

i have read books on marriage by gary chapman, myles, lahaye and a host of others

i have also worked on myself and have a couple i admire and look up to as guide

above all i pray about it most times
na money remain...

tete7000:
I understand your point, a woman who supports her husband. I replied you because your response was ts to that of a person who wondered why all immoral misgivings must be blamed at girls' doorsteps. Men have leading role to play in the society. The society fails usually because men fail to lead. We should never teach our daughters to marry just any man for marrying sake. They must marry godly men who understand what marriage is all about. There are too many worldly, warped narratives about marriage that can easily confuse non-discernible minds. Narailand is full of such and I usually warn young people around me to be wary of what they swallow from social media, not usually a good place to look for marital advice. God is the author of marriage and irrespective of what the world preaches, his intention concerning what marriage should look like has not changed and he is ever willing to help those who look up to him navigate through difficult terrain of searching for and getting responsible and godly spouses.

Absolutely

uthlaw:
bills no de finish but becareful...he might end up not get married to you.... anyway,money is the Koko!

Na him go lose na. He will have to start paying to get access to my body then

azeezengr:
My remarks here are based on personal experience (of 17 years in marriage) and observations made in the society:
(1) Prayer before and after marriage is highly essential: This is important because courtship and "love" will simply not take care of those spiritual parts of two different beings coming together to live together. When things want to go wrong in your marriage and you remember you pray before you settled down with him or her, you will go back to prayer( and not beer or prostitute or 'spiritial father')
(2) Sacrifice: I believe love is fundamental before two adults come together for marriage but SACRIFICE on both sides is an essential ingredients when you start living together. Both of you have to shift on occasions and come to centre line or you pretend to for peace to reign
(3) Leave like brother and sister but there must be senior between two of you, it is a norm in Africa for man to be senior partner in relationship . Man should be respected by his wife( and vice versa)
(4) If possible, your formative years in marriage(first five years) should be leave far away from areas where both of you grow together to avoid environmental and relatives pressures on your marriage. There are misunderstandings you will settled amicably with ease without external influence coming in.....leave your marriage and family issues out of social media, you need break from your regulars to lay solid foundation for your marriage.
(5)Childbirth tends to change woman physique and psyche hence man should avoid temptations to look elsewhere and woman should work on herself. Most married men have their extra marital experience between the time when their wife gets pregnant and nursing period.
(6) Discuss your finances and be opened with it, building wealth should be a common goal and it should be responsibility of both party to make your financial stability and growth a reality. Marriage pressures are largely narrowed down to two FINANCE and SEX, any man(or woman) that can take care of these two stand chances of 80% in marriage
(7) Be radical with each others concerning your marital sex life, be open to each other and find way to pleasure

#respect

AmazoTopaz:
Na him go lose na. He will have to start paying to get access to my body then

no reason like that,he stay with you and hook you up with men because is getting it for free...a time will come,he might decide to let it go and never look back..

that how we men behave...
I believe you normally spend the money together and you also give him the do for free!

uthlaw:
no reason like that,he stay with you and hook you up with men because is getting it for free...a time will come,he might decide to let it go and never look back..

that how we men behave...
I believe you normally spend the money together and you also give him the do for free!

After he put me into hookup he is just going to dump me and move? Na him go lose

My advice.. Marry someone without much experience of men I.e marry someone that has not dated many guys for peace of mind. Marriage sweet

AmazonTopaz:
Please keep quiet are you a virgin yourself or is virginity only for women alone.What does the virginity actually do to sustain the marriage because after the first night it is gone what else.The person is not married virginity adds nothing to marriage even the men who marry virgins some of them still cheat because they are dogs.You are not making any sense.
A prostitute can make a better wife than a so called virgin it depends on the preference of the man.

Are you for real @bolded - we must never encourage careless living (premarital or contractual sex), that being said if a person has made a mistake for their virginity to be taken, shit happens, move on.

But to say prostitute might make a home better than a virgin based on a man's preference, I don't get, on what premise is this your opinion? What happens to the personality and character of the said ladies?

tete7000:
You are wrong, when you see a woman who married a real man, A man strong and godly, you will understand that woman has less work to do Women has been so brainwashed to believe that making marriage work is all their duty that many don't even bother to look out for strong and capable men to marry but simply settle for anything and work their ass out to make their marriage work while the man philander around. God created the man to lead, not the woman. Sin turned everything on its head, and create situations where women seek to dominate. In the beginning, it was never intended so, and God's original intention has not changed.

@ bolded , God bless you.


@ topic make sure you are physically, spiritually emotionally, psychologically and Financially readybefore marriage.

chatinent:
While courting, you were better halves. What happens after marriage?

- What happens after marriage depends solely on you both. Your relationship supposed to continue to be great. But it depends on how deep your love are for each other is. A marriage that has a weak foundation doesn't last long. Be together for the right reasons.

What happens after a week living together? and months, years? What happens to forever?

- Honestly, marriage is tougher than mere boyfriend - girlfriend relationship. But it can be wonderful and great if the two involved have genuine love for each other and are willing to work their differences out mutually. Great marriages last forever.

Does the love remain the same? Does it fade by itself? Are both parties always striving to resurrect it?

- It only remains the same if you have genuine love, understand each other's flaws and strive to make each other happy. Yes, both parties need to do all they can to keep it striving.

Of course, I understand it is not advisable to plunge into marriage!

- It's never a good idea to rush into a marriage, no matter the peer and family pressure to do so. You're the one who's going to live with whoever you marry, not them. You must be sure you're ready to marry and also make sure your potential wife/husband is the right one for you. Marriage can be hell if you marry the wrong person.
Again, courtship is very very important, it gives you the golden opportunity actually find the right person.

What is life like in marriage?

- It can be wonderful and blissful. A great marriage is 100% better than a good boyfriend - girlfriend relationship. Although, there's no perfect marriage as there's no perfect person. Marriage is what both parties make it.

What happens during a quarrel?

- Just like in courtship, quarrels are inevitable in marriage. How you two handle it matters a lot. Listen and compromise. Remember, both of you are two different individuals who understand each other's flaws and decided to spend the rest of your lives together. Love, trust and respect go a long way in keeping a marriage tight.

Does a partner always prove they are right?

- Compromise is not a weakness but a feature. Compromising doesn’t mean “giving in.” It doesn’t mean that you’ve lost the fight. In fact, it’s the opposite. Do you know how hard it is to compromise sometimes? You want your way because it sounds right and makes sense to you. Your partner is way off base with their suggestions. Take a step back and look at the argument diplomatically. What’s the logical conclusion? If your partner is right, don’t be afraid to say so. Accept their way, or modify both of your solutions to be half and half. The important thing is not getting your way, it’s staying in your relationship and helping it grow. Compromising will definitely help your marriage grow.

Are there complaints? Complaints like one person washing the plates, and the other making it more tedious? Are there arguments about how the WC is to be used?

- Of course, there will be complaints. We are all flawed in one way or another. Don't brush off your partner's complaint and expect things to be well. Always try to resolve it amicably. Sharing responsiblies is a part of marriage.

How and when are responsibilities shared?

- In most cases shared responsibilities come naturally. Men who help their wives at home by sharing the work load win extra respect and affection. Every couple is unique in itself and how they share the chores should be based their own individual likes and preferences, strengths and weaknesses. Good couple complete and compliment each other and try to give their utmost to the relationship.

What about insecurity?
Does it come on its own? Are there hidden thoughts one's partner may be cheating always?

- Trust is an indispensable ingredient in building and maintaining a healthy marriage. Trusting one another is one of the most important elements of your relationship, and a crucial element of any lifetime commitment. Without trust, the quality of your relationship will deteriorate.

What are the main responsibilities to keep a woman/man forever young in their hearts? What are the major needs?

- a. Prioritize: To make marriage work, spouses must prioritize each other above all else.

b. Anticipate - and Ride Out - the Waves: Focus on the wedding day and not the years of marriage that follow, many people mistakenly think marriage is one big party. It’s not. And the sooner you realize that, and accept it and commit to staying in it during even the rough times, the sooner your marriage will benefit.

c. Schedule Time Together: It’s really the one way to ensure quality time. Time together could be as simple as eating together after the kids have gone to bed or scheduling a date night every couple of weeks (sans kids).

d. Give a Gift: Everyone loves getting a gift, but giving presents can be equally joyful. Even a small token, like a six pack of his favorite beer or a takeaway from her favorite restaurant, can show appreciation.

What can make a woman still look very good even after childbirth?

- Many women expect that their bodies will immediately bounce back after giving birth, particularly if they didn't pack on too many pounds while eating for two.

Yet, even if she makes postpartum diet and exercise a priority, it can take a while for a new mom's belly to return to normal size, which can lead to feelings of failure and inadequacy.

However, it takes most women six to eight weeks for their stomach to shrink back down to normal size after giving birth. She would need you emotional support.

Should the husband also do minor chores?

Yes, the husband should also do chores. Chores are shared responsibilities, and doing a good job dividing up the housework is essential to ensure a happy marriage.

What happens when she becomes pregnant?

- Support her by doing the following;

a. Encourage and reassure her.
b. Ask her what she needs from you.
c. Show affection. Hold hands, give hugs and kisses.
d. Help her make changes to her lifestyle.
c. Try to eat healthy foods, which can help her eat well.
d. Encourage her to take breaks and naps.
e. Some women may want less sex.
f. Take walks together.

What is the major emotional need?

- Admiration, affection, intimate conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment.

How is trust built?

- By being faithful, honest and truthful to your partner.

To wives and husbands, what do you call satisfaction in a husband/wife? What needs does he/she fulfills make you feel satisfied?

- Already answered, check my response above in red.

What would you ever wish for?

- Also answered, check my response above in red.

Does the care and love remain the same?

- Yes, if a couple has a genuine love for each other, it doesn't change.

I need experienced persons (married couples probably) to clarify me.


I've been thinking about these questions of late.

I've been married for some years now. So I know what I'm talking about. You are doing the right thing asking these questions. I hope I've in my little way made you feel a bit comfortable going into marriage.

Marriage is a beautiful thing, especially, when you are in it with the right person (that's why courtship is vital). And if the love you two have is genuine and you're ready to work together through tough times, then definitely the marriage will last forever.

tete7000:
I understand your point, a woman who supports her husband. I replied you because your response was ts to that of a person who wondered why all immoral misgivings must be blamed at girls' doorsteps. Men have leading role to play in the society. The society fails usually because men fail to lead. We should never teach our daughters to marry just any man for marrying sake. They must marry godly men who understand what marriage is all about. There are too many worldly, warped narratives about marriage that can easily confuse non-discernible minds. Narailand is full of such and I usually warn young people around me to be wary of what they swallow from social media, not usually a good place to look for marital advice. God is the author of marriage and irrespective of what the world preaches, his intention concerning what marriage should look like has not changed and he is ever willing to help those who look up to him navigate through difficult terrain of searching for and getting responsible and godly spouses.

Solid points once again.

Belexy95:
The truth is you can't be outside the marriage framework and learn how to mitigate challenges in the home.
Well, a brief about myself: December last year, made my marriage 10years, with 3 adorable kids.
From my experience so far, the most important tool to having a successful home is COMMUNICATION!!
Most of the so called challenges in every marriage can be avoided only if we can learn to communicate more with our spouses.
Here are my counsel:
1) As you desire your partner to be that "better half" decide to be the better half also. Remember, like attracts like.
2) Give your partner the space to live. Do not seek to make your spouse fit into your mold. S/he is a human and has goals and dreams, so let them go ahead to live their dreams as long as it doesn't cause the marriage to suffer.
As earlier stated, communication is key. Most times our actions, reactions and responses are based on assumptions. We assumed we understood the intentions of our spouse and there by react wrongly. When we communicate more, we will have better home (s).

#respect

AmazoTopaz:
After he put me into hookup he is just going to dump me and move? Na him go lose

hunhun...no jazz person picking....just sit him down one day and say bae,I want to stop this stuff,I want to be with only you,so we could start our own family...make u ear is respond!
I de talk to u like a sister Ni ooo....m not a saint!

AmazonTopaz:
You must be the olosho to know one.
You must be a clown to think that a virgin fears God.What is the point of being disciplined as a virgin and going ahead to cheat in marriage that is discipline Abi?
You must be talking about the unfortunate women in your lives whose mileage Na Lagos Ibadan expressway not me.The men with such women in your family are not real men because they ended up marrying olosho's with wide vagina's who are into prostitution and they can never make good wives
If you did not marry as a vrigin or currently unmarried and not a virgin then keep quiet and don't talk in such matters like this because you are a shameless hypocrite.

@Kebbiprince

Both of you should stop talking trash to each other, what nonsense!

Being a virgin or not has nothing to do with the success of marriage, I have seen virgin and non virgin marriages that work, this not to say I encourage careless living.

The challenge I see here is the understanding of context - kebbi your environment must have encourage virginity and the fear of God, that's fine but know that it's not obtainable everywhere, Atopaz his argument is not invalid, if you stay in the north this is what you would mostly see across Muslim and Christian virgins, most are religious and fear God, for the ladies quite submissive and virtuous, for the men teachable and humble.

Find someone that is happy and cheerful..Someone that can withstand the pressures of "the worse" in marriage.Avoid bitter people from day one...Give anyone that doesn't smile from the inner heart miles...

Happiness is all that matters...Avoid anyone with elements of wickedness!!!

Joydan95:
I have been married for a while now and I can say marriage is beautiful. It has its up’s and down’s but when there is love,understanding and respect you will definitely scale through.
The first step to enjoying your marriage is going into it with someone you truly care for and feel comfortable with, vice versa. During quarrel, observe your temperaments, two of you shouldn’t spark at the same time else it will lead to physical fights and that is terrible, one person has to be cold when the other is hot. I am naturally hot but when my husband is upset I just keep calm and in the end we talk about it calmly and apologize to each other. It has been working for us since 2018
In terms of chores, lol.... we both work voluntarily as in my husband sometimes wakes up and say he wants to prepare so so dish today and he doesn’t want to see my legs in the kitchen, when it’s like that I usually help to slice onions, blend the pepper , wash the meat and leave him to cook. He goes to the market without me asking especially if he is coming back home through that route. I am currently pregnant and I can’t count how many times he does that , he cleans the house without me asking or begging and serves me food (breakfast in bed and dinner).God bless him
Marriage can be boring at times so make plans to go out together during the weekends or go spend time in an hotel if you can afford it. Travel sometimes or just get away for some days, it makes the heart fondlier.
Trust is built when there is transparency, you need to be open about your finances and life. The moment you want to start creating privacy in marriage, trouble and distrust sets in.
The emotional need of a man is love, respect , food and s*x, never deny him of these unless you are pregnant, the s*x part is understandable. The truth is if you marry because of sex, you are doing yourself more harm than good cos there are times you will have to stay without it. Also take note that sometimes a man may break down emotionally due to work or money problem, support and pray for him
Last last, protect your marriage. The perfect marriage is what you create yours to be, live right, love right and be happy. Pray for your spouse, temptation too plenty ....never raise your hands on your wife no matter how she talks back at you( sometimes wire Dey touch for our head).

#respect, may you put to birth safely and in sound health with abundance. Cheers

Yusufisraelj:
Your perspective is balanced, and your points very good, even from the initial post, so also the guys point you responded to is the ideal thing, a man should be the embodiment of responsibility to a large extent, but your point talks to reality and what's obtainable. Very practical

Thank you!